Chapter 19
Katelyn
My evening shift at the diner went by at the speed of molasses in January even though it only lasted five hours. After our walk on the beach, Garrison and I had joined the others at Linda’s for a delicious lunch, then he drove me back here and made coffee while I got dressed for my shift.
We didn’t talk much. But a lot was said in those quiet moments.
I’d confided in him about my greatest secret. One I’ve kept heavily guarded since that day that Yasmin died. I thought that I’d feel embarrassed, mortified by the truth. But to be honest? I feel lighter.
As if I’m one step closer to being able to move on.
“I’ll be right here when you are.”
I can still feel his breath fanning across my face. His thumbs stroking my cheeks. I’d wanted so badly to feel his lips on mine. To accept a kiss because I wanted it. Not because it’s what was expected of me.
But the heaviness of what is between us kept me from lifting my face and closing the distance. I want to make absolutely sure that, when we do take that step, I’m ready. Otherwise, I’m terrified that I’ll run scared the moment we do and ruin what we have.
And he’s far too important to me to do that.
I push open the door to our apartment building, then check my inbox. The elevator doors open, and a man steps off. I’ve never seen him before, but the hairs on the back of my neck go on end. I start to back toward the stairwell, putting distance between us as he makes his way toward the front door.
“Evening,” he greets as he passes by.
There’s nothing overly imposing about him, but my stomach twists into a knot, and I reach for my phone before I step into the stairwell. As my hand closes around it, he steps out onto the street and pulls the hood of his black sweatshirt up over his head.
He keeps walking without looking back.
Breathe, Katelyn. You’re just nervous because of the bandage you ripped open earlier.
After taking a deep breath, I push into the stairwell. My desire to get upstairs where I’m safe, with the man who makes me feel safe, is so great that I take the steps at a near-run, trying to reach the top as quickly as I can.
It’s not until I’ve pushed the door to our floor open and made my way down the hall that the fear finally slips away. As I reach the front door of my apartment, I note that it’s partially open. Curious, I shove it the rest of the way.
Garrison is inside, wearing tattered jeans and a white tank top stretched over his muscled torso. A baseball cap sits backward on top of his head, and he has a paintbrush in one hand, a can of paint in the other.
He cautiously paints the new patio doors, the fresh panes taped off with blue painters’ tape. With each stroke of the brush, more of the wood is covered in crisp white, erasing the damage done to them just last week.
The floor is still bare, but the carpet is supposed to be going down in the next day or so; then we get to move my furniture back in—what wasn’t damaged, at least.
And then—a sudden wave of sadness hits me.
Then that will be it. Thomas and I will move home, and we’ll go back to merely being Garrison’s neighbors.
No morning coffee.
Or late-night tea.
Garrison turns and jumps when he sees me watching, then lets out a laugh. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. What do you think?”
I just keep staring at him. How can I not? This man has been more gentle with me than anyone ever has.
He’s made me feel seen.
Cherished.
My eyes fill.
“Katelyn, what is it?” Garrison sets the paint and brush down, then wipes both hands on his jeans as he crosses toward me. “Did something happen?”
“I’m ready,” I blurt because I’m honestly afraid that if I stand here and think about it too long, I’ll chicken out.
He stops in his tracks and stares at me. “For what?”
My heart begins to pound, and I close the distance between us, tilting my face up to look at him. I’m so close, I can see the bronze flakes in his otherwise dark eyes. “To find out what this is.”
Garrison’s lips twitch at the corners, but I still see hesitation in his gorgeous gaze. “Are you sure—”
I stretch up and press my lips to his.
The connection is instant.
A rush of electricity.
Garrison stills for a moment, and I pull away, panicked. Did I cross a line? Heat creeps up the back of my neck as I open my eyes. But the moment my gaze locks with his, I know—he feels it, too.
He snakes a hand around the back of my neck and pulls me in, slamming his mouth to mine. It’s rough and tender at the same time. Patient yet frenzied. He devours every single fear I had, demolishes every barrier I’d put between us with the mere contact of his lips on mine.
It’s not until my back presses against the wall that I realize he’s moved us clear across the room. His chest is hard against me, his touch tender, though I can feel the barely leashed hunger simmering beneath the surface.
Love.
Is that what this is?
Did I stumble into friendship only to fall head over heels in love with the Navy SEAL next door?
Garrison pulls away, then kisses me again, this time a quick meeting of the lips.
Breathless, he rests his forehead against mine and releases me to plant both hands against the wall of my living room. “I had no idea what I was missing,” he says. “Until you.”
I smile at him, then reach up to run the tips of my fingers along his stubbled jaw. “I feel the same.” Please be gentle with me, I want to say. Please don’t break me.
“You and me?” he says. “It’s all I want. And I will do whatever I can to prove to you that I will never hurt you, Katelyn. You’re safe with me. You both are.”
The kiss is still on my mind first thing this morning.
Even as I roll out of bed, I have a smile on my face. My cell rings, so I reach for it. Thomas’ picture flashes across the screen, only increasing my good mood. “Hey, baby!” I greet when I answer the FaceTime call.
“Morning, Mom!” His beaming smile lifts my mood even more. Sweat already beads on his forehead, and his t-shirt is smeared with red dirt.
“How is your day so far?” I ask as I settle back down onto the bed.
“Good. We ran laps and practiced our slides. I slid into home three times!”
His joy permeates the air around me. “That is wonderful, baby.”
“How about you?”
“Not too much to report here. I worked last night. Oh! We should have our apartment back by the time you get home! I imagine you’re ready to be home.”
His smile falters just a bit. “I kinda like hanging with Mr. Holt. Think he’ll still want to when we move out?”
The kiss flashes back into my mind. “Oh, I think so,” I reply with a beaming smile of my own.
Someone calls Thomas’ name, and he glances off toward the right. “Oh, sorry, Mom! I have to go. I’ll call you later. Love you so much!”
“I love you, too, baby!” The call ends way too soon, leaving me with a slight emptiness. Man, I miss my kid. Four nights and three days to go.
Even though I know it’ll be a while before I hear from him again, I still take my phone with me as I leave the room. After brushing my teeth and untangling my unruly hair, I step into the kitchen.
Garrison is sitting at the table, wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt. His back is to me, but I know he’ll have his Bible in front of him. As I move farther into the room, he turns and grins at me in a way that sets my insides on fire.
How did I ever think I could be just friends with this man?
“Morning.”
“Morning,” I reply. “Do you need a refill on coffee?”
“No, I’m okay. But thanks. Here, sit. Let me get you some.” He starts to stand, but I shake my head.
“I’ve got it.”
Garrison gets up anyway and follows me into the kitchen. Where most men would have moved in closer, he gives me space, letting me make the choice to step into those strong arms.
As I do, he wraps one around me, then cups my cheek and tips my face up to plant a quick kiss on my lips. “Good morning,” he says again.
“You already said that.”
“But now I’ve said it after a kiss. Which is what I really wanted to do all along.”
I grin up at him, feeling more hopeful than I have in longer than I can remember. “Well then, good morning.” I wind both arms around his neck and kiss him again.
He deepens the moment, the hair of his beard scraping delicately across my face. Oh boy, could I stay here forever?
Garrison ends the kiss, then releases me so I can get a fresh cup of coffee. As soon as I’m done adding cream and sugar, I turn toward him.
“So, listen, your carpet will be in today.”
“Really? I thought it would be another day.”
“Well, it would have been. I pulled some strings and got Harry to agree to laying it today.”
I arch a brow. “Ready to get rid of me?” Even as desperate as I was to get back to my routine, it stings.
“Not at all.” He takes a step closer. “But with what’s happening with us, I think it’s better if we have more than a hall between us.”
My stomach twists.
“Look, I have no intention of taking that step until I’m married, and I would never push you into anything, but it was hard enough to keep away from you before, and now that we’ve decided to move beyond friendship, it just feels responsible.”
My heart warms toward him, the love I already carry deepening. I take a step closer and place my free hand on his chest. The beat of his heart is steady beneath my palm. “I understand, and I appreciate your candor.”
His larger hand covers mine. “It’s not an easy thing for me to admit because I love having you close, Katelyn. Being able to get up in the morning and see both you and Thomas has been nothing short of a gift.”
I smile up at him. “I feel the same. And Thomas just asked me this morning if you’d still want to ‘hang out’ with us after we move home.”
“Nothing in this world can keep me from doing just that,” he replies, leaning down to press a quick kiss to my lips before pulling his hand away.
We walk into the dining room together, and Garrison pulls a chair out for me before taking a seat back behind his Bible.
“What are your plans for today?” I ask, seriously hoping those plans include seeing me. I have a packed day, though, so the likelihood of our paths crossing is low.
“This morning I’m headed to the gym. I can’t quite hit the mat yet, but I’m hoping to work up a sweat.”
“The mat?”
“Boxing,” he replies.
Concern for him erases the smile from my face. “Should you be doing that? I mean, I know it’s been a couple of weeks, but—”
“I’m only going to use the heavy bag. Doc says I need to work up to getting back on the mat.”
“I didn’t realize you boxed.”
“Not professionally, but it is a nice way to keep my reflexes sharp.”
The image of him slick with sweat, dodging a fist, has me shifting in my seat. Is it getting hotter in here?
“After that, I’ll be back here to work on getting your apartment ready for you.” He grins at me, easing some of my discomfort at the idea of him getting hurt.
“I feel so bad that you’re doing that without me.”
“Don’t. I don’t mind in the least. Kyle’s coming by to help, and it gives him something to do, too.”
I reach over and cover his hand with mine. Touching him is far easier than I thought it would be. Especially after spending thirteen years avoiding all physical contact from men. “Thank you so much.”
“Anything for you,” he replies, then finishes off his coffee. “How about you?”
“I have my shift at the coffee shop in an hour. Then an hour to come back and change for my shift at the diner.”
“You amaze me.”
I arch a brow and study him. “How so?”
“You work harder than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“It keeps me busy.”
“Because being a single mom isn’t busy enough?”
I laugh. “Fair point.”
Taking a sip of my coffee, I let my gaze lift to his patio doors. They’re closed, but the curtains are open, giving me a clear view of the ocean.
“So, there’s actually something I’ve wanted to talk to you about, but I wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”
“Color me intrigued.” Crossing my arms, I study him, trying to figure out what’s got this soldier so nervous.
“I noticed that you only have one bedroom.”
“Yes. There weren’t any two-bedrooms available when I moved here.” Not that I could have afforded it even if there was.
“Well, as you know, I have one more than I need.”
Realization dawns on me, and I shake my head. “I am not taking your apartment.”
“Please? Look, rent-wise it’ll stay the same.”
“How is that?” Embarrassment heats my cheeks even though I know he’s only trying to help.
“Every apartment in the building is the same price.”
“That can’t be true.”
“Call Geoff and ask him. When I rented this place, there were no single-bedrooms left. Otherwise, I would have taken one.”
“So I’m doing you a favor by swapping apartments with you?”
“Katelyn, please? I’ve been trying to figure out how to approach this all week; the last thing I want to do is offend you.”
I take a deep breath because I know he’s telling the truth. His offer is beyond sweet, but I can’t put him out. Not anymore than I already have.
“Garrison, the single bedroom works fine for us.”
“But a two-bedroom would work better. Look, you don’t have to give me an answer. Just think about it, okay?” He pushes up from the seat and slides the chair in. “I’ve got to go. Please think about it?” he asks again.
I look up at him and nod. “Sure.”
He flashes me a quick grin and presses a kiss to the top of my head. “Great. Thanks. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.” I wave at him as he leaves, closing and locking the door behind him.
Sitting in the silence of his apartment, I look around. A two-bedroom would certainly give me the privacy I’ve been missing. And having Thomas across the hall puts him closer to me than he is now.
But I can’t make Garrison move out.
I can’t take his space from him, no matter what he says. It’s too big an ask.
“Just think about it, okay?”
“Okay, Garrison,” I say aloud to the apartment. “I’ll think about it.”