Bonus Chapter SEAL of Courage
Anastasia
Sawyer’s shop is pristinely organized, every single tool in its place. Which makes it easy to navigate in the dark. I follow a path through the main bay toward his office. There’s a single light on inside, offering a faint glow that gets brighter the closer I get.
Heart racing, I pause just outside the cracked door. This is silly. Sawyer Maddox is one of my best friends. So why do I feel so nervous?
Get it together, Anastasia. It’s just Sawyer.
I knock on the door, then push it open. Sawyer is seated behind his desk, baseball cap on backward, a black t-shirt stretched over his muscled chest. How does he look so good even when there’s grease smeared on his cheek?
“Anastasia,” he says, eyes widening in surprise.
“So you remember my name. That’s good.” I walk in and take a seat behind his desk.
“Of course I remember you. Is everything okay?”
He’s so cold now. Even though, technically, he’s being perfectly kind. But this isn’t the Sawyer I know. The one who would do anything to see me smile. Who’d hang out at the coffee shop whenever he had a spare moment so I’d have someone to talk to when there was a lull.
“Everything’s fine. I just dropped Thomas off at the Westons’ and thought I’d check in and make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.” He glances back down at the papers he was looking at when I came in.
“Are we—”
“We’re fine, Anastasia. I’m just busy. You’ve got Jack and the shop; you know how it goes.”
Jack.
“Yeah, I guess so. You’re okay, though?” Ever since he was released from the hospital, Sawyer’s been in his own world. He’s even missed dinner at my mom’s a couple of times over the past few weeks, which is completely unusual.
“Of course.” He flashes me a smile, but it’s not his. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Not sure. Just figured I’d ask.”
He goes back to his papers, so I stand. “Well, I guess I’ll get going then.”
“Okay. It was good to see you. Thanks for stopping in.” He offers me another smile, so I push out of the room, my heart sinking with each step between us.
There was a time I thought Sawyer might be the one. As cheesy as it sounds. But then, as time passed and he never acted on what I thought was between us, I moved on. I had to, right? I couldn’t wait around forever.
We’d definitely had a spark.
A connection.
Even after I started dating Jack, we’d maintained a friendship, which only solidified my thoughts that a spark was all it was. After all, if he truly felt for me what I thought I felt for him, he’d have said something, right?
Then he’d gone missing.
Those hours when I thought I’d lost Sawyer were the worst in my life. I’d been devastated by the loss. Desperate to get him back. And then I did. Except—this isn’t him.
“No,” I snap and turn toward him.
“No?” He looks up at me.
“No. You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to be cold. I didn’t do anything to deserve it.” I cross my arms.
Sawyer stands and crosses his, too. The tattoo on his right arm flexes with his muscles, drawing my attention for a brief moment before it shoots back to his face. “I didn’t realize I was being cold.”
“You’re not being you.” I throw my hands up in the air. “You know exactly what you’re doing.”
“I’m not trying to be cold, Anastasia. I’m just trying to be respectful.”
“Of what?”
“Your relationship with Jack. He’s a good guy. I was wrong, so I took a step back.” His tone is ridiculously level—lacking all emotion.
I glare at him. “Is that what this is about? We were friends long before I ever met Jack. I didn’t realize that having him in my life meant I’d lose you.” The very thought makes my stomach churn. Emotion burns in my throat, an unyielding lump that will strangle me if I let it.
Why does this hurt so bad?
Sawyer comes around his desk. “You didn’t lose me. I’m right here.”
“No, you’re standing here, but you’re not really here.” Tears burn in the corners of my eyes. “I miss my friend.”
“I haven’t gone anywhere.”
“You almost—” I trail off, swallowing down past the lump in my throat. “You almost died.”
“It’s not the first time,” he replies.
I shake my head, the hurt deepening with every moment I spend standing here in front of him.
“Look, Anastasia, Jack is your boyfriend. If I were him and someone was hanging around you the way I was, I’d not be happy about it. The last thing I want to do is cause you problems.”
“Sawyer—”
“Now it’s my turn to say no,” he interrupts, frustration taking over and erasing the emotionless facade.
“You don’t get to stand there and pretend that you never saw the way I looked at you.
Everyone in town saw it. Now, I’m moving on, and you don’t get to come in here, demanding answers to anything. You chose him!”
His words slam into me one after the other, like waves battering a rocky shore. “You don’t get to stand there and pretend that you never saw the way I looked at you.”
But I didn’t see—not really. “You never asked!”
Sawyer swallows hard. “And that’s something I must live with. But I’m moving on, Anastasia, and I suggest you do the same.”
My cell phone rings, and Jack’s name lights up on the screen.
“Look at that, you’re already halfway there. I’ll see you around, Anastasia.”
“Don’t bother.” With tears in my eyes, I rush out of the shop and out onto the dark street. With trembling fingers, I try to get the keys out of my pocket, but they fall to the ground. “Come on.”
When I’ve finally retrieved them from the ground, I straighten, my vision so blurry I can hardly see anything. And then—bright headlights. Too close.
I scream.
Strong hands rip me back against a heavy body. We go to the ground as the car continues speeding off into the night.
The hard body beneath me is unfamiliar, but the scent of motor oil and pine is one I’ll never forget. “Are you okay?” Sawyer rolls me over and pulls me to my feet, then runs his hands over my arms.
Body trembling, I can’t catch my breath. What just happened?
“Anastasia, are you okay?” He cups my face and forces me to look at him. His caramel-colored eyes are wide, his unruly hair a mess without his ball cap.
Was it knocked off when he took me to the ground?
“I—think so.”
“We need to get you inside. Come on.”
“No.” I shove him off, anger and hurt pushing through all logic that I probably should have him make sure I’m okay. But I can’t do that. I can’t face him again. Not yet. Not until I’ve fully pushed past this crush that threatens to destroy me. “I’m fine. Thanks.”
Sawyer takes a step away from me. “You almost got hit.”
“I was too close to the road.” I look at where I’d parked. It’s no wonder I was almost hit. In my nervous anticipation of seeing Sawyer, I’d practically parked on the street.
“Please come inside; let me look at you in the light. Make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” I snap. “I’ll just call Jack and have him fly in.” The moment the words are out of my mouth, I want to rip them back.
Sawyer’s expression goes cold. It’s surreal, really, to watch his worry fade away, replaced by a cool facade that is so not the Sawyer I know.
But I put it there.
I put that pain on his face with my harsh words.
“I’m sorry, Sawyer. I’m just rattled. Thanks for saving me. I really am okay.” But I’m anything but. I’m shaken—my entire body trembling as the understanding that I could have died settles over me.
“Yeah. Well, I’ll call Zane and let him know what happened anyway. You may want to get checked.” Without another word, Sawyer turns away, lifts his baseball cap from the ground, and heads into the shop, his powerful shoulders slumped…defeated.
And it’s all my fault.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you loved Garrison and Katelyn as much as I do!