25. Reese
Reese
“You sure you won’t come with us?” Tessa asks as she pulls me in for a hug.
We’ve all gathered in the living room of my mother’s farmhouse before each of the guys takes a different vehicle and drives a different route to the private airport where a plane will be meeting them.
According to what Weston told me this morning, the Hunts are all former military and now run a search and rescue team from their family ranch.
The eldest brother will be coming along on the plane to meet them, and the others will be waiting when the plane lands to make sure they safely make it to the ranch.
“I need to be here.” I glance over at Weston. Seeing his struggle last night to even look at himself in the mirror solidified that. Despite everything we’ve been through in the past few days, I can see a bit of his light returning, and I genuinely worry that, if I leave…that light will go, too.
Not that I am arrogant enough to think I’m the cause, but I can hope that reminding him of who he used to be helps. At least a little.
“Just be safe, okay?” Tessa hugs me again, then crosses back toward Zane.
Every man here is tense. I can see the pain on their faces as they cling to their loved ones.
Garrison is holding his baby while he stands beside his wife.
Their teenage son, Thomas, is on his other side, his complexion pale, eyes wide and worried.
Sawyer and Anastasia haven’t let go of each other since they walked in, and Zane’s mother, Linda, is in deep conversation with my mom and the mother of our ranch hand, Kyle Harding, who is here with his sister.
It feels an awful lot like I’m standing in an airfield in one of those military movies, while I watch soldiers say goodbye to their loved ones.
Which, I suppose, isn’t that far off from where we are now.
“War is coming our way.” That’s what Weston said.
War.
A fight that might end horribly.
It all seems so surreal when I think about it. After all, how can someone like that operate here in our country? Why haven’t the authorities caught her yet? Will they? Or will it end just the way Weston thinks it will? In bloodshed?
“Okay, time to go.” Zane takes Tessa’s hand and faces the group, who have all fallen silent. “Everyone has their routes. Keep in mind, Brenda may put a tail on any one of us. If you see one following you—”
“We’ll lose it, Cap,” Sawyer says.
Zane nods. “This is hard, but it’s the only way to be sure.”
My mom crosses over to me and wraps an arm around my waist. “I wish you were coming,” she whispers. “But I understand why you won’t.”
I look over at her and smile. “I’ll be fine, Mom. And better now that I know you’re safe.”
“There’s not a doubt in my mind that you will be. It’s him I’m worried about.” She nods toward Weston, who hasn’t said a single word since everyone got here fifteen minutes ago.
“I’ll keep him rooted.”
“I’m counting on it. Love you, Sugar.”
“Love you, too, Mom.”
Ryker crosses over and rubs his hands together. “Your chauffeur is ready, Mrs. Faye.” He holds out a hand, a charming smile on his face.
“Why, thank you.” She takes his offered hand, then looks back at me. “Stay safe.”
“You, too.” As I watch my mom walk away with Ryker, and the rest of the team leave with their loved ones, an emptiness settles over me. How long will it be before everyone can be together again? A week? Two? A month?
I glance over at Weston, not at all surprised to see guilt written all over his handsome face. He’s beating himself up over this because, in his mind, if he would have stayed and done what Brenda wanted, no one would have to leave.
“Stop.”
He raises his gaze to mine. “What?”
“Blaming yourself.”
“It’s hard not to.”
“But it’s not your fault. And I’m going to remind you of that every single chance I get.”
He pushes off the wall, movements still a bit stiff. “I need to head into town.”
“I’ll grab my purse.”
After running upstairs and getting my purse, I slip my shoes on. “You stay and be a good boy, Aragorn.” I pet the top of his head, then smile as he follows me down the steps and toward the back door, where Weston is waiting, his cowboy hat on.
Even with the danger lurking around us, the sight of him in his cowboy hat makes my stomach twist into knots of desire. It’s hard to go from being married to a man and knowing him as well as I knew Weston, to becoming strangers.
But this falling in love all over again? I can’t say I dislike that feeling at all.
“Church?” I question as I study the front of the small white church situated right off the beach.
“I made a promise.” He climbs out, then comes around and opens my door.
“To whom?”
He points up toward the sky. “I keep my word.” Reaching out, he takes my hand and helps me out of his truck, then walks behind me as we head up the steps.
I don’t miss the way he watches our surroundings as if he’s waiting for someone to jump right out of the shadows.
And then I remember how Brenda did just that, and I’m so grateful he’s here.
After reaching around and opening the door, we step through and into the sanctuary. It’s funny; when I first got to town and came here, I had absolutely no clue I was minutes away from running into my ex. And now, here I am, walking through these doors right alongside him.
And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
Pastor Reeves turns at the sound of the doors, a Bible in his hand. When he sees us, he smiles and waves in welcome. “Weston, Reese, this is a surprise.”
“Hey, Pastor Reeves,” I greet.
Weston takes a deep breath, and I can feel his nervousness even as we make our way down the aisle. How long has it been since he was here? Because I am getting the impression it’s been quite some time.
“I was hoping you had a few minutes,” Weston says. “If not—”
“No, no. I have all the time in the world. Come, sit.” Pastor Reeves gestures toward a pew in the front.
“I’ll be back—” I start to pull away, but Weston grips my hand.
“Please stay,” he says, his tone soft. Nervous.
“Of course.” I cover his hand with my other one, then follow him over toward a pew, where I take a seat beside him. Pastor Reeves sits on my other side, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because he’s reading Weston’s nerves, too, and wants to give him space.
For quite a while, the three of us sit in silence, and I catch Weston’s gaze drifting toward the cross on the altar more than once. Lord, please give him strength. Please let him know that You are here.
Pastor Reeves remains silent, patiently waiting for Weston to speak first.
Weston releases my hand and runs both palms against his jean-clad thighs. “I’m not sure why I’m here, but I told God I’d come if He saved us, and He did.”
“Saved you?” he questions.
“We were kidnapped,” I say when Weston remains quiet. “Grabbed outside of Maverick’s place a week ago.”
Pastor Reeves looks away for a moment, then nods. “That explains the bruises.” He gestures toward Weston. “Are you both okay?”
“We survived,” Weston replies.
“Ahh, but there’s a difference in surviving and being okay, wouldn’t you say?” he asks.
How true that is.
“You said that you asked God to save you, and He did.” Pastor Reeves places his hand on top of the Bible in his lap. “Yet you sound unsure.”
Weston swallows hard, clearly battling with whatever he came here to discuss.
“Weston, I can go right over there if that would make you—”
“No. I’m fine. Just…give me a minute.” He pushes to his feet and turns away from us.
I glance over at Pastor Reeves, who gives me a soft, understanding smile as if to let me know that it’s okay. That God is working right now, and it’s all in His time.
Weston turns around. “I begged God to save my sister. The whole time I was out looking for her, I was praying. Calling out to Him, and He ignored me. Then, when we lost—” He trails off.
“When you lost your baby?” Pastor Reeves finishes.
Weston’s gaze rapidly shifts to mine, and I chew on my bottom lip. Logically, I know he won’t be mad, but I really hope he doesn’t see it as a betrayal.
He’s quiet for a moment, but then he nods.
“I asked Him to save the baby, too. That night, I begged Him, but it didn’t work.
My entire life, I’ve been asking God for help.
When my dad turned to alcohol, when Violet went missing, when Reese lost the baby, when my mom turned to pills after we buried Violet…
” He trails off, eyes shimmering with tears.
“And not once has He answered me. Yet, I asked Him to save Reese and me, and we survived insurmountable odds. I jumped fifty feet off the deck of a cargo ship and into the ocean at night. Even uninjured, the survival rate on a jump like that is low.”
I stare at him, realizing for the first time that he had no intention of surviving our escape. Not really. His only priority had been to get me out of there, which is why he called Zane first, then gave me that other phone.
“I shouldn’t have survived, but I’m here.
” He points to his chest. “Me. I’ve done horrible things in my life.
I’ve been angry. I wanted to kill my dad more than once when he’d go after my mom.
I almost did one night. And I would have if Violet hadn’t stopped me.
She was the good one, not me. So why save me?
” He runs a hand over the lower part of his face as tears slip from his eyes.
“My marriage failed because I was too weak to be who I needed to be. So why me?” he repeats.
Silent tears stream down my cheeks at the witness of his pain. I want so badly to run to him. To wrap my arms around him and tell him all the pretty things I think would make it better.
But I’m not who he needs right now.
So I remain right where I am, even when Pastor Reeves gets to his feet and sets his Bible aside. Slowly, as if approaching a wild animal, he crosses over to Weston and stops right in front of him.
“There are no easy answers to the questions you are asking, Weston. And truthfully, as much as I would love to put your mind at ease right now, I can’t.
What I can tell you is that God works all things for good.
All situations, even the worst of the worst, can be used for His glory.
The loss of your sister is a devastation that had even me questioning why things happen the way that they do. ”
Weston shuts his eyes tightly, and more tears slip out.
“We’re human, and it’s our nature to question. But the real strength comes when you realize that we don’t have to know all the answers. All we have to do is follow Him, seek His truth, and take that next step toward trusting His plan over our own understanding.”
Weston shakes his head. “I don’t know how to do that.
I don’t know how to let go of the anger.
” He points to his chest. “I lost everyone who mattered. My mom couldn’t even stand the sight of me, and I can’t help but believe it’s because she saw the ugliness in my soul and realized she couldn’t be around it anymore. ”
“Your mother’s choices are her own,” Pastor Reeves said. “We may have been given free will, but we will all answer for the things we’ve done. What she did is not a reflection on you, Weston. You may have felt alone, but you never were.”
He shakes his head as if trying to push Pastor Reeves’ words out. “You have no idea the life I’ve led.”
“I don’t need to know. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came to this world and lived a perfect life.
He died a sinner’s death so that we would all be saved.
So that we could have a chance to spend eternity with God and not one separate from Him.
We are all sinners, Weston. Each and every one of us has grappled with lust, greed, anger, and everything else under the sun that causes us to stumble.
But you do not have to be owned by that sin because Jesus Christ already paid the price for you.
You don’t have to continue living in the shadows just because it’s easier than stepping out into the light. ”
“And what about the future? What about what I have to do to make sure what’s left of my family is safe? My friends?”
“You pray, and you put it in God’s hands, Weston. You step out in faith and know that He will always be there to catch you.”
“I’m a violent man.” Weston turns toward the cross. “And I don’t know how not to be.”
“A violent man?” Pastor Reeves asks. “That’s not who I see when I look at you.”
“Then you’re not looking hard enough.”
“I see a man who has done things he wished he hadn’t, but who believed at the time he was doing them for the greater good.
I see a man who has saved countless lives, who stepped up when his family needed him, and who has been let down by people he should have been able to trust. But that’s the hard truth, Weston.
People will always let us down. We can’t help but fall short.
God, though? He is always good, and He is always there.
Even when life is horrible and has us twisted up into more knots than we can count, God is there.
Our Savior never leaves our side. You may not know why He saved you, but He does.
Don’t question Him just because you are struggling to see yourself.
Put your faith in Him, repent for your sins, and stop punishing yourself for things He has already forgiven you for. ”
He sighs, but I truly believe I am witnessing the breaking of chains he’s worn for far too long.
And it is heartbreakingly beautiful.
“I don’t even know where to start,” he says.
Pastor Reeves crosses back toward me and lifts the worn Bible I’ve seen him carry ever since we moved here. Then he goes back to Weston and hands it to him. “Start here.”
Weston stares at it, then raises his gaze to Pastor Reeves. “This is yours.”
“Not anymore. It’s yours now. Read it. And know that I’m here whenever you want to talk.”