30. Weston
Weston
After filling grain buckets, I step back and stretch my aching muscles. I know that my body likely needs a whole lot more rest than I’m giving it, especially the still-healing wound on my abdomen. But working with my hands is the only way I know how to manage.
When I was a kid, I had to function even on days after my drunk father had taken out his frustrations on me for stepping between him and my mom. I even played football with a fractured wrist and what felt a whole lot like a couple of cracked ribs.
I became really good at hiding pain. At pushing through it.
Which is exactly what I need to do now.
“Do you really think I’m so easily fooled?”
I turn toward Zane as he steps into the barn. “I mean, I did have you convinced that I couldn’t see the color blue for three weeks when we were eight.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
Crossing my arms, I study my oldest friend. Zane has been like a brother to me for nearly our entire lives. We’ve played together, fought together, bled and nearly died together. So I really shouldn’t be surprised that out of everyone in that room, he saw right through me.
“You can’t go after her alone, Weston. By now, she’ll have an entire army around her.”
“She had one before, and I escaped.”
“Barely. And what about Reese? Are you really so quick to leave her behind?”
“Reese is one of the reasons I have to do this.”
“And the others?” When I don’t answer, he nods. “Well, given how much time we’ve all spent together, I feel confident in speaking for everyone else when I say none of us want you to risk your life for us. We can all come up with a plan, and we all go in.”
“You have families to take care of, Zane. Garrison just had a baby. Sawyer and Anastasia are getting married next month. And what about you and Tessa? Ryker is the only other one of us with nothing to lose but his life.”
“Then take him with you.”
I shake my head. “It has to be me. She could have come after any one of you, but she picked me.” I tap my finger to my chest. “And we both know why that is.”
Zane’s expression darkens. “That was not the same.”
“It feels pretty close.”
Right after we first started working for Brenda, Zane came to me with a set of orders she’d assigned directly to me.
It was a no-report, off-books mission where I was instructed to breach a trafficking ring to rescue fourteen teenage girls kidnapped from the States.
Including the daughter of a senator. Because of the risk to the girls, I was sent in solo.
Get in. Eliminate targets. Get girls out.
That was the mission.
What happened in there is something I will never forget.
The things I saw will haunt me until the day I die.
But the next morning, I walked out.
Covered in blood, with fifty-three girls and young women at my back.
Not a single one of those twenty-four predators saw the next sunrise.
And the survivors are the only way I ever got any sleep after the carnage of that mission. Because, no matter what weight I carried, they had a chance at freedom because of what I’d done.
“We both know we can’t sit around and wait for Brenda to make her move. What if she figures out where the families are first? What if she comes here and wipes us all out before we have a chance to stop her? We have to end this, Zane.”
“You’re throwing around that word ‘we’ a whole lot for a guy determined to go on a solo suicide mission.”
“I’ll survive.”
“And if you don’t?”
It’s something I’ve already considered. If we all go, then everyone’s families—including Reese—will be vulnerable. But if it’s just me? They can protect what matters most. “Then you’ll protect Reese.”
“She needs you.”
Those three words hit me square in the chest because I need her, too. But above all, I need to know that she’s safe. “I need her to survive, Zane. If it were Tessa?”
He sighs, and I can see that I’ve won. “There’s not a single mountain I wouldn’t scale to get to her.”
“Then let me go. Let me do this. Let me keep everyone safe.”
“If I say no?”
I take a deep breath. “I’m going anyway. I’d just really like to not be at odds when I do.”
Zane shakes his head and uncrosses his arms. “You let us be a part of this. Even if it’s from a distance.”
“Fine.”
“And if you need backup—”
“I know who I’m calling in.”
Heart in my throat, I finish setting up the blanket in the back of my truck. I’d pulled it into the main barn and closed the doors, just to make sure we weren’t out in the open. Overhead, Sawyer helped me string hundreds of fairy lights so there’s a warm glow bathing down on top of me.
It was even his idea.
Who knew he was such a romantic?
I tweak the basket for the hundredth time, then study the scene I’ve set. Aside from the location and the lights overhead, it’s a perfect recreation of our first real date. Then, we were in the bed of an old farm truck I wasn’t quite old enough to drive.
Then, there’d been nothing between us and everything before us.
Now, well, who knows if we have anything but right now. And I intend to make the most of it.
The barn door opens slightly, and Reese comes in. Her bright smile steals my breath, as does the sight of her in a pale yellow sundress, tall boots, and a navy blue sweatshirt.
My heart hammers against my ribs, my hands already flexing at my sides, the sheer desire to reach out and pull her close almost too much to control.
“Well, well, what is this, Mr. Hayes?”
“I thought it might be nice to relive a little of our past.” I reach out and take her hand, then pull her close and press my lips to hers. It seems so surreal that we still fit together even after all these years.
“I knew there was still a romantic in you,” she says with a smile. “Even beneath all that grumpy cowboy.”
“Only for you,” I reply softly, then turn her in a circle before taking her hand once more and leading her over toward the bed of my truck.
She turns to jump up, but before she can, I grip her hips and lift her, depositing her on the tailgate before sliding on beside her. “Weston, this is beautiful. Thank you.”
“Thank you for coming.”
“Well, when Zane told me you had a surprise in the barn, I couldn’t help myself. What’s for dinner?”
I open the picnic basket and pull out two foil-wrapped burgers from the diner. Her eyes glitter with excitement, and her smile widens even further. “You know what’s funny is that I was just thinking about cheeseburgers on a tailgate not too long ago.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I—” Her expression darkens. “It was a date with Max. We were at an Italian restaurant, and I was wishing for a moment when times were simpler. With you.” When she meets my gaze, I see a mixture of anger and guilt.
So I reach over and take her hand. “Nothing that happened with him is your fault.”
“I should have sensed something.”
“We worked for Brenda for years, and aside from a general dislike for the woman, there were never any signs that she was a murdering supervillain.”
“Supervillain?”
“Sawyer was watching cartoons earlier, so that’s what I’m going with.” I open a container of ketchup, then a packet of black pepper, and mix the two.
“You remembered?” Her words are barely above a whisper.
I meet her gaze. “I remember everything.”
“Weston.” Her eyes fill, and she reaches forward to fist the front of my shirt and pull me in. The kiss starts off slow. Tender. But as fire spreads through my veins, I deepen it, cupping her face with my hand and fighting the urge to pull her completely into my arms.
My heart pounds.
Visions of forever dancing in my mind.
This woman is all I’ve ever wanted.
I pull away, breathless and still desperate for more. “We have to take this easy,” I say with a hoarse laugh. “Because, while I have fantastic self-control in most circumstances, with you, it just feels like—”
“You want to skip steps?”
I laugh again and brush hair behind her ear. “Something like that.”
“I’m in that boat, too. I think it’s hard because, well, we’ve already—”
“Yeah,” I say, then take a deep breath. “Back to square one, though, and square one is cheeseburgers and French fries.” I pull out the container of fries, then scoot over a bit and place both the fries and the ketchup between us.
A food barrier that will hopefully help us keep our hands to ourselves.
God, please help me. I’m struggling with the desire I’ve always had for her, but I know the timing isn’t right. Please grant me strength to take this slow and give her the future she deserves.
“You okay?”
I grin. “Yeah. Just sending up a prayer.” It’s coming a lot easier to me now; I prayed my way through the interaction with Jones earlier, which is the only reason I was able to release him when I did.
And I hit my knees as soon as I was alone again, begging God for guidance so I didn’t make things worse.
“Do you want to bless the food?”
“Yeah.” I clear my throat, then take her outstretched hand. Nerves twist in my stomach, and the echoes of doubts ring through my mind at a deafening volume.
I’m not qualified to bless our meal.
I’m not clean enough to seek redemption.
Forcing those out, I clear my throat and close my eyes. “Lord, we, uh, we thank You for this meal we are about to eat. Thank You for bringing Reese and me back together, even with everything we have going on. Uh, please be with us. Thanks for everything. Amen.”
“Amen.”
Cheeks hot, I release her hand.
“That was great, Weston.”
I shouldn’t be surprised that she can read my embarrassment. There haven’t been many times I’ve been able to hide something from her. “Eh, Zane’s is always smoother.”
“The Lord doesn’t care how smooth your prayer is, Weston. He only cares that you pray.” She takes my hand again and squeezes gently.
I smile at her, all of my earlier embarrassment fading away. Is that true? Does the Lord really not care about perfection? Every voice in my head says otherwise. That I’m supposed to be clean before I seek Him. But…if that were true…would anyone really reach Him?
“This all looks so good.” She lifts a fry and bites half of it off, then closes her eyes and groans. “Oh how I missed Maddie and Ed’s food.”
I laugh. “They will be happy to hear that.”
“And how about you? Do you still make a big ol’ batch of brisket chili every year?”
“Yeah. Anastasia started selling it at her coffee shop, too. I was actually planning to get one started last week, but—”
“Getting kidnapped kind of put a damper on that.”
Chuckling, I nod. “You can say that.” After lifting my burger, I take a bite and fight the urge to groan myself. Most of the time, I prefer my own food. Years of cooking for Violet and myself made me a pretty good cook. But even I have to agree that no one does a burger quite like Ed.
Silence envelops us, our only companion, the chirping of crickets and katydids.
When I was a kid, I’d slip out my window and climb onto the roof, just so I could listen to their calming noise. Back then, I always told myself that if I could hear the katydids, then everything would be okay.
Mainly because I’d convinced myself that, when my dad was drunk and on one of his tirades, they would hide, too. Of course, as an adult, I realized it was just that I couldn’t hear them over his yelling. But they still bring me this odd sort of comfort.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Reese asks, looking over at me.
“Just listening to the katydids.”
She smiles. “Me too. There’s something so peaceful about them, don’t you think?”
“And about sitting here with you.” I look down at her and smile, hoping she can see all of the love I’ve been holding onto all these years.
Love that I so desperately want to show her for the rest of our lives.