Chapter 12
Monica spent every day the following week at the base, looking at more profiles, without finding anyone who even remotely resembled the man she’d seen.
Her evenings were spent with Stuart, as always, but after that kiss, things between them had changed.
Stuart was more touchy-feely. He never overstepped his bounds, never did anything that made her feel unsafe, but he touched her back as he passed her in the kitchen.
He kissed the top of her head all the time.
He even held her hand as they sat on the back deck in the evenings.
He told her more stories about growing up in Alaska, and about some of the places he’d been courtesy of the Navy. When she asked about what happened to Lexie, he shared without hesitation. Going on to tell her about Kenna’s awful experience, and more about Elodie’s as well.
Hearing what the three women had been through somehow made Monica feel closer to them.
She hadn’t seen them since the other evening, when they’d had dinner and Food For All had gotten broken into, but they’d all texted her.
She was slowly beginning to feel as if she could relate to them, and them to her, just a little better.
All those women knew what it was like to suffer.
They’d been through their own awful times, and they’d survived, just like she had.
Although, Monica had a feeling they had a lot fewer hang-ups than she did.
But she was working on them. Being around Stuart and his friends, seeing how they all treated their women, made her desperate to shed the legacy her dad had left her.
She wanted to be strong, and funny, and carefree.
She wanted to judge people on their actions, and not because of their job or the uniform they wore.
The bachelorette party was all set for the following weekend.
Saturday night, they planned on going to a few bars in Waikiki, then heading back to Kenna and Aleck’s penthouse to spend the night.
Monica hadn’t been sure about the sleepover, but when Kenna had called to tell her about the plans for the evening, Monica had found herself responding to the woman’s excitement.
Aleck would stay the night at Slate’s place, giving the women space to do what they wanted without worrying about the guys hanging around.
Yesterday, when Stuart had picked her up from the base, he’d scowled when he’d seen her bloodshot eyes. Staring at a computer all day was beginning to get to her, even though she’d done her best to not let Stuart know.
Yeah. Right. He’d marched into his commander’s office and told him that Monica was taking the day off on Friday. That she needed a break. Luckily, the commander had no problem with that. It wasn’t as if he was her boss. Yes, she was there at his demand, but still.
Not only that, the commander had apologized again…and pretty much told Monica that she could leave when she wanted. That he was still desperate to find the rogue SEAL, but he’d had no right to force her to come to Hawaii against her will.
She’d been shocked, to say the least. And assured Huttner that, now that she was there, and since she’d been replaced as the ambassador’s nanny by the agency she worked for, she wanted to see this through. To stay and continue trying to identify the man she’d seen.
Her response had surprised both Commander Huttner and Stuart, but they’d done their best to hide their reactions. The commander had thanked her…and Monica couldn’t begin to interpret the look on Stuart’s face. But she wanted to guess he was pleased with her decision.
Today, on her unexpected day off, Stuart was taking her to possibly meet the infamous Baker she’d heard so much about.
When she’d told the other women what Stuart had planned via text, there’d been a flurry of responses from them about the man.
Elodie had asked her to sneak a picture if she could, and Lexie and Kenna had both been all for it.
Monica had found herself giggling at the thought of pretending to take a picture of the scenery or something, secretly getting this Baker guy in the shot.
After hearing about how intense and somewhat scary he was, there was no chance in hell she was going to risk getting caught taking his photo.
Besides, she wouldn’t like it if someone did that to her…
but she couldn’t help being curious as to whether the man was as good-looking as the others thought he was.
“You seem different today,” Stuart said as he drove toward the popular beaches of the North Shore. “More relaxed or something.”
“I am,” Monica said. “I think knowing I can leave if I want has taken a lot of pressure off me.”
“Have you heard back from the agency you work for about another placement?”
Monica tried to read Stuart’s expression, without luck. Did he want her to go? Was he asking to be polite or did he have an ulterior motive?
As if he could read her mind, Stuart said, “For the record, I’m one hundred percent all right with you staying here for as long as you want. I think I made it clear the other night that I like you, Mo.”
His words made a warm glow spread within her.
Had anyone come right out and made it that clear they didn’t want her to leave?
No. Even with as many nanny jobs as she’d had over the years, none of her bosses had ever asked her to stay past her contract.
“I sent an email updating them on my situation, but I asked them to hold off putting me on the placement list just yet.”
The smile Stuart shot her way made the warmth morph into something much hotter.
“Good.”
One word. That was all it took to make Monica feel like a pile of mush.
Her feelings toward Stuart were quickly changing from being grateful he’d given her a place to stay so she didn’t have to be on the Naval base, to something more…
intimate…personal. The kiss they’d shared a week ago had been different from any kiss she’d ever received. More satisfying. Definitely hotter.
She genuinely liked Stuart. Liked being around him, liked who he was as a person, and could even admit that the longer she stayed, the more her “like” was deepening into something else.
Which should’ve scared her to death. Instead, when she thought about actually having a relationship with Stuart, the idea made her feel almost giddy.
“You know,” he continued. “There are lots of people on Oahu who need nannies.”
Monica stilled as his words sank in. It was unbelievable that the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind.
“I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life. You’re an adult who’s made decisions on your own for a long while now. But the good thing about what you do is that there are children with working parents everywhere.”
He wasn’t wrong.
Monica nodded as her mind spun. She wasn’t sure her employment agency would be able to help her with placement here, as they dealt more with dignitaries in foreign countries, but with her experience, she didn’t think she’d have any issues finding employment with someone who needed a nanny to look after their kids. Though maybe not a live-in nanny.
“I like that look on your face,” Stuart said.
She glanced over and found him smiling as he drove.
There was so much Monica wanted to say, but her mind was spinning with the possibilities for her future. Was she insane for actually thinking about staying here? Probably. But for the first time in ages—maybe ever—she was excited about her future.
She didn’t have the words to tell Stuart what she was thinking, but she didn’t want him to assume she was dismissing his suggestion. So she reached out and touched his hand, resting on the console between them.
It wasn’t until his fingers closed around her hand that she realized she’d used her left. That alone was enough to make her freeze in shock. She never, ever forgot about her mangled fingers. But all she’d been thinking when she’d reached for Stuart was connecting with him.
The smile on his face had grown so big when she touched him, Monica didn’t have the heart to let go now.
So they drove northward just like that, holding hands, Stuart with a goofy grin on his face, and Monica thinking much too hard about what the next steps in her life should be, while also marveling over the fact that a man as amazing as Stuart seemed to be interested in her.
An hour later, Stuart pulled into a large beach parking lot that was almost full. They found a space toward the back of the lot and when he turned off the engine, and Monica started to get out, he squeezed her hand. “Mo?”
She turned back to him. “Yeah?” she asked, feeling shy for some reason.
“I know you were thinking pretty hard on the way up here. I’m sorry Huttner basically forced you to come to Hawaii, but I’m glad I got the chance to know you better.
For the record…I’d love it if you decided to stay.
But if you don’t, I still want to stay in touch. Because I think you’re pretty amazing.”
Monica swallowed hard. She wasn’t ready to lay everything she was thinking and feeling on the table yet. She liked Stuart…but did she trust him? He could hurt her, bad, and she’d been protecting her feelings for too long to stop now.
But she also wanted him to know how much she appreciated everything he’d done for her. He didn’t have to let her live with him. He didn’t have to stand up to his commander for her. He didn’t have to do what he could to integrate her with his friends. But he did.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, but for now, I want to keep looking through the profiles for the man I saw. He can’t continue to do what he’s doing, and if I’m the only one who can ID him, I need to keep looking. But…I wouldn’t mind keeping in touch with you as well.”
She could tell her words weren’t exactly what Stuart wanted to hear, but she gave him credit for not pushing for more. She knew he’d never pressure her for something she didn’t want, or wasn’t ready, to give freely.