34. Wren
Monday, when I go down to the cafeteria, I stop dead in my tracks when I see Rose hanging off of Gavin.
I shouldn’t be surprised; he seems like the kind of guy who would love the attention, and from the look of his pink cheeks, I imagine I’m right. Even so, it stings.
Gavin isn’t my friend, not by a long shot, but he’d been less prickly lately, so my dumbass had thought there might be hope.
Judging by the way Rose looks me up and down like I’m the shit on the bottom of her shoe, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that’s not going to happen.
“Pookie!” I feel my face heat so fast, I worry I might catch fire as Julian leans back in his chair to peer around Titus and obnoxiously waves as if anyone could miss him.
If Rose’s face was sour before, she looks ready to kill me now.
“Pookie!” he shouts again, and I wish the floor would open and drop me into hell, but I know that won’t happen. I also know Julian, which means I’m well aware of the fact that he won’t stop yelling until he gets what he wants, and right now that’s for me to be over there.
I speed-walk toward him and damn him and that adorable grin that curls his lips when he sees me coming.
Nobody should look so happy to see me, and so damn sexy, while I want to smack the crap out of them.
It’s just not fair.
Ever since the other day when I woke up on his bed and we… cuddled, I can hardly think of anything but the way his lips feel on mine whenever I see him.
I’ve even dreamt about what might have happened if he hadn’t decided we should ‘take it slow,’ and yeah, I shouldn’t be thinking about this now, here with him and very much so in public.
Julez opens his mouth, no doubt to call out to me again despite me being only feet away, and I nearly lunge the rest of the way, slapping my hand over his mouth.
“I’m here, Blue, hush,” I whisper-shout, and when he looks up at me, I see the mirth that shines in his eyes a moment before he licks my hand.
“Ew!!” I yank my hand away and stumble back a step before I think better of it and quickly move to wipe my now moist hand on his cheek. He freezes, and for a second, I worry I upset him before he barks a laugh so loud that I jump.
His arm snaps out and wraps around my waist, yanking me onto his lap before he turns us both back ?to the table.
“Fuck, you’re just so damn cute.” He nuzzles into my neck, and I feel the heat of his words and the brush of his lips on the sensitive skin.
Dear God, it’s like his lips have a direct line to my very needy vagina, and it takes way more effort than it should to stop myself from squirming in his lap and letting him know exactly what he’s doing to me.
“Barf.”
I feel the way Julian goes still, and when I look up, I find Rose looking a little less mean-girl and a hell of a lot more terrified.
What the hell?
I attempt to turn and look at Julian, but he holds me tight, not letting me budge.
“If you have a problem with the way I love on my Pookie, you’re more than welcome to fuck off.” The bite in his tone makes my eyes go wide. I’ve never heard him talk like that before, and while it’s intimidating as hell, I can’t deny it’s also a little bit sexy to know he’s defending me, us.
Rose, of course, bounces back like the silicone in her no-doubt fake tits. Rolling her eyes, she flicks her hair over her shoulder before linking her arm with Gavin’s.
“Let’s get out of here, Gavie,” she whines, with that super nasally, super fake-sweet voice she loves to use around guys.
Gavin seems confused for a moment, looking around at the others, but when she huffs in annoyance, he all but scrambles to his feet and follows after her, carrying both of their trays.
Poor guy.
“Don’t worry about him, Wren. He’ll pull his head out of his ass, eventually.
” I turn to Nolan, who sits beside Gavin’s now-empty spot, and it’s on the tip of my tongue to deny his words.
To tell him I wasn’t worrying because what kind of crazy person would worry about someone who clearly hates them?
Me. I’m the crazy person, clearly, because I am worried.
Girls like Rose chew boys up and spit them out. I’ve seen it so many times: the mean girls taking advantage of the nerdy, quiet guys.
Hell, that’s why Jordan always said he was so protective of me. I was the Gavin in those situations, and the guys who were nice to me were only doing it for their own benefit.
Crap.
I look from Nolan to Titus and finally up to Julian, who still holds me firmly in his lap. That’s not what this is, right?
“Eat,” Julian says, pulling me from my mental spiral as he nods down at the table in front of us. “I grabbed all your favorites.”
I look down at the tray and find that he did, in fact, get all of my favorites. There’s mac and cheese, a little bowl of mixed fruit, and a piece of BBQ chicken pizza with no less than three cookies.
I’d been worried about the pizza at first; it looked questionable, and I’d only ever had cheese or pepperoni during tournaments, but it might just be the best thing ever.
I devour everything, unable to let anything go to waste; it’s just too good.
It’s not until I’m finished and lean back into Julian’s chest that I remember I have an audience, and embarrassment creeps in.
“Did you want more?” Julian asks right in my ear, and I hear the slight chuckle in his voice.
“No!” I say with much more force than I intended and cringe.
Why am I like this?
“I mean, no, thank you. I’m full.” Which isn’t a lie; I couldn’t eat another bite if I tried, at least not without exploding, but I probably could have had better manners while eating. Not to mention the idea of seconds still makes my skin crawl; the portions here are huge, which is enough.
“Well, if you're done, I think it’s about time for me to teach you another lesson in fencing.” He’s moving before he even finishes his sentence.
Climbing up off the bench with me still in his arms as if it’s no trouble, and I’m torn between being offended and wooed, that is, until his words register.
“Hey! I’m a good fencer,” I argue, glaring up at him only to find him smiling down at me with a smirk that says he knew what he was doing when he said that.
Something Julian was not ready for, if the way his jaw hit the floor was anything to go by.
Full of surprises.
That’s what he said, and it’s played on my head on repeat for days.
I’d never been praised for what I can do or achieve; it was expected, not nourished into me.
Jerk.
“You are,” he says with a nod, but still his eyes tell a different story.
I purse my lips in annoyance, and he doesn’t waste a moment before he leans in to press his lips to mine, stealing the air from my lungs.
Kissing Julian is…
Everything.
“Which is why I enjoy beating you.” There it is, that snarky little bit he just couldn’t let go. I knew it was coming, and honestly, I can’t even say much because he’s great.
I’m not exactly trained in fencing; I only ever practiced with Jordan, and I’m not sure Jordan could have beaten Julian either.
“Watch it, Blue,” I grumble and glare at him, which is how I see the way his pupils blow wide, and his nostrils flare as his smirk takes on a devilish gleam.
He sets me down before he twirls me around to face him, leaning in so that we’re nose to nose, and I nearly go cross-eyed looking up at him.
“Say it again.” His voice is low and husky, washing over me and making goosebumps erupt on my skin while my mind short-circuits.
Say what?
“Blue?” I’m not one hundred percent sure that’s what he was referring to until the word leaves my lips and his face lights up like a Christmas tree.
“Fuck, that is so much hotter than it should be.” He shakes his head, rubbing our noses together before he presses his lips to mine again, and I can’t help but melt into him.
“Get a room,” Titus grumbles, making me pull back at the reminder that there are people around.
One of which is Julian’s boyfriend.
“Ignore him. He’s just jealous.” He doesn’t let go of his hold on my face as he pulls back enough to look at Titus over my head. “Aren’t you, Snookums?”
I hear Titus groan and don’t need to see him to imagine the way he’s rolling his eyes. I don’t even try to fight the chuckle that bursts past my lips at his own ridiculous nickname.
“Come on, Pookie, I have something fun for us to do today.” He doesn’t wait for me to answer before he laces his fingers through mine and pulls me with him right out of the lunchroom.
I hadn’t realized how much I want this; even with the bumps in the road and assholes like Gavin and Rose, this is the most I’ve ever felt like I belonged anywhere, and it has nothing to do with the school.
Before we can duel, Julian actually has to practice, which gives me time to study, though I admittedly spend a lot of it watching him.
It’s a problem, one that I’m more than happy to fall victim to because, well, there are worse things.
When their coach finally calls it a wrap on practice, everyone files out quickly enough, leaving just the two of us, and suddenly the room feels too big.
“Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet.”
I look up from my bag that I’d been stuffing my books in to find Julian at my feet, giving me a knowing look.
How he does that, reads me so effortlessly, is beyond me. Nobody ever got me; not even Jordan understood me all the time, but with Julian, it’s like he can read my mind or something.
I look him over, seeing the way his muscles bulge and the sweat drips from his brow after a good workout, and suddenly I hope that’s not the case. If he can read my mind, he probably thinks I’m a creep, and for damn good reason.
Extending a hand, he offers to help me up, and I don’t hesitate to take it, giggling when he yanks me up and into his arms so fast my head spins.
“Get your cute little butt on the mat. I have a wager for you.” He smacks said butt, and I let out a squeak of surprise, but I do as he says.
Apparently, listening to him boss me around has an effect on him, though, because when I glance back over my shoulder at him, he’s not only got his lower lip trapped between his teeth, but he’s also adjusting himself.
I quickly look away as my face heats.
I’ve never done more than I did that night with D, and even that wasn’t much. I actually might have already passed it up with our little make-out session on his bed the other day. But I know someone like Julian has to have loads of experience, probably with both guys and girls.
Shit, what have I gotten myself into?
Before I can chicken out, Julian tosses me a saber, and I just barely manage to catch it.
“Look alive.” He wiggles his brows at me, and I get myself into position.
“What’s the wager?” I ask in an attempt to distract myself from everything that is Julian. If I keep it up, I might very well do something to embarrass myself, and honestly, I do that enough as is.
“First to five wins. Loser has to dye their hair purple.”
My grip falters, and I nearly drop my saber. “What?”
It takes all of two seconds for the panic to choke me and all traces of fun and happiness to seep away.
How can I be happy when all I can think about is how disappointed Auntie would be if she saw that?
Purple hair!
Auntie had beaten me with a metal spatula when I was in the fifth grade, and I let some girl in class paint my nails red. She’d told me I looked like a cheap whore, just like my mother, and she’d teach me a lesson that would save my soul so I didn’t end up like her.
Our on-call doctor had to give me three stitches on my bicep that night after she’d caught me with the side instead of the flat side. She’d told me it was my fault for moving around so much and that in the future I needed to remember that actions had consequences and nobody would save me from mine.
“Wren?”
I jump at the sound of my name before reminding myself I’m not that girl anymore. I’m out, and with any luck, I’ll never have to go back.
Blinking rapidly, I take a deep breath and let my hand drop from the scar that I know lies beneath my sleeve. I don’t even remember moving.
“I’m fine,” I say, and instantly want to smack my palm to my head because I couldn’t even make myself sound the least bit convincing.
You’ve got to learn to live a little.
Jordan’s words play in my head like an old song, and I feel the sting of tears behind my eyes. He’d always told me that he’d always been so full of energy and optimistic.
But what if he was right?
I clear my throat and square my shoulders, trying to channel my inner Jordan; we were twins after all, and hold myself at the ready.
“I’ll have to change your nickname, I suppose.”
Julian watches me for a moment as if unsure if I really am okay or not, and to be fair, I’m not really sure either, but I’m trying to be, and that’s the best I’ve got right now.
“You can call me whatever you want, Pookie. We’ll be like a matching pair, beautiful with colorful hair, but even better, there will be no question that you’re mine.” His words make my eyes go wide because, yeah, we’ve kissed a few times, but I wasn’t aware we were a thing.
He’s with Titus, the same Titus who very much hates me.
Not to mention there’s Nolan, Dimitri, and Felix…
Crap, how did this happen?
“One point for me.”
Again, I’m snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of his voice, only this time it’s with the tip of his saber pressed to my chest.
With a groan of frustration, I bat it away and step back out of his reach, pushing away all thoughts of boys.
If I want any hope at beating him, I need to give this everything I’ve got.