42. Wren
Auntie’s coming here in just a few weeks, and my hair is purple.
She’s going to kill me, maybe literally, and I might just deserve it.
I knew better.
Everything in me knew better, but I let myself think I was safe, that she no longer had a hold on me…
I look at the girl who looks back at me in the mirror, seeing how pathetic I am, wondering how anyone ever wanted anything to do with me.
Dimitri and Julian deserve better, more than I can ever be.
My hair is dripping wet, my eyes red and puffy from crying as I attempt to scrub the purple dye from my hair.
Julian said that I had to use cold water or it would wash out, but this water is damn near scalding hot, and while the runoff is slightly purple, it doesn’t look like it’s doing much to fade.
“Please…” I choke on a sob as I pump more soap into my hand and continue to scrub, even knowing it’s pointless.
My head throbs with every sob and hiccup; the headache I’ve had the last few days is growing into something that’s nearly blinding, but I push through.
I’ve been through worse, and if I don’t get this color out of my hair, I guarantee I’ll have that again.
Hell, even if I fix it, I might be in for worse.
“Eternity?” The sound of his voice bouncing around the room makes me gasp as I spin around to find him standing near the door, a deep frown on his beautiful lips.
I didn’t even hear him come in.
The bathroom had been thankfully empty when I came in, probably due to the early hour and the fact that it's the weekend. I don't even remember how I got here or know how long it's been, let alone how he found me.
I expect to feel the urge to run the way I had earlier, but it never comes, at least not the way I expected. Instead, I feel the urge to run toward him, even with all that’s wrong. I’ve missed Felix.
I sniffle, my breathing stuttering and weak as I wipe my face with my arms, trying to make myself look less pathetic.
Such an impossible task right now.
He holds my gaze, and I don’t see even a hint of judgment. He opens his arms, and I don’t even fight ?the urge to go to him. Even soapy, crying, and whimpering, I run into his arms hard enough that it takes the little bit of air I have before I suck in a deep breath and start crying all over again.
“What’s wrong?” I feel the deep rumble of his voice against my face as I hide away in his chest; it’s oddly soothing.
“I… She—she’s…” I try to tell him, but I can’t seem to form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence.
“Shhhh.” He runs a hand through my hair, and I feel the soft, well-worn leather of his gloves on my neck as he holds me tight to his chest.
It feels like he’s the only thing holding me together right now.
He gathers me up in his arms, and I don’t fight him. I’m not sure I could do anything against him even if I tried, so I’m glad I don’t have to. I don’t know how to explain it, but I know Felix wouldn’t hurt me; I can feel it in my bones, despite what Titus might think.
“Do you have your key?” he asks, pulling me from my thoughts and making me pull back to look up at him.
I don’t know if I dozed off or if he’s just quick, but we’re back at the dorm now.
“What time is it?” I rush to ask, worried about who might see me like this if he were to open that door right now.
He holds me tighter, and I breathe in his warm, dark chocolate scent; it calms me as he offers me a soft smile.
“It’s not even noon yet. Everyone’s still out for now.”
I’m not sure how he knew what my concern was; maybe I’m just that obvious, but I let out a sigh of relief knowing they won’t see me like this.
I reach for my bag only to find it isn’t on my back.
“I have it,” Felix says again, saving me from my panic, and I chuckle at how fucking pathetic I am right now. It's not funny, but if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry, and I’ve done more than enough of that.
“It’s in the left-side pocket.” He pulls the key out and lets us in, kicking it closed behind him without missing a beat as I finally get a hold of myself.
“I can walk.” I try to wiggle free, but he only holds me tighter, grumbling at me as he continues into the dorm, his eyes bouncing around the space as if looking for something specific.
Maybe he’s making sure the guys really aren’t here? Or maybe his dorm doesn’t look like this?
“Which way?”
Shit.
“Just into the bathroom.” I point to the bathroom just past the couches before the dining room. I know what he was asking, and while sleeping on the couch might have been my idea to make this dorm work, I don’t exactly want to get into that right now.
Something tells me he won’t love that.
We make it just past the couch when Felix stops abruptly, taking a deep breath, and I swear I see fury burn in his eyes. As quickly as it’s there, it’s gone, though, and I can’t be sure.
“Wren…” he grits out through clenched teeth.
“Yes?”
“Do you sleep on the couch?” It sounds like he struggles to get the words out as his fingers dig into my side.
I guess I was right.
“Maybe…” I don’t want to lie to him, but I can’t see how this will end well. Plus, I have bigger issues right now.
“We can talk about that later. Right now, I need to…” I shove out of his arms and nearly tumble to the ground before I catch myself and race into the bathroom.
“Jeez.”
I look terrible, like a half-drowned cat. There’s still soap in my hair, my uniform is wet, and the purple is just as vibrant as it was before I started.
I hardly even register the pain in my knees as they hit the tile when my knees give out.
“She’s going to kill me.”
“Nobody will touch you.” I jump when I look to my left and find Felix sitting there, a very serious look on his face.
I didn’t mean to say that out loud.
I offer him a tight smile, hoping to pacify him, but I know it’s not enough; it feels weak on my lips.
“What’s wrong? Do you not like the color?” He reaches out, gently grabbing a few strands of my hair to examine it more closely, his brows pulled in confusion.
“No. I love it.”
His brows pull down further, and if I weren't so sad and afraid, I might laugh at how ridiculous he looks like this.
“I don’t understand.”
I reach out, laying my hand on his gloved one. He lets my hair fall, turning his hand so that it cradles my much smaller one in his, and when he looks up at me, we're so close I can see the flecks of gold that ring his pupils.
He’s beautiful, just like his brother, though much nicer.
“I know, but…” I want to tell him, but the words get stuck, clogged in my throat after years of pushing them down, keeping her secrets.
I don’t have a reason to anymore, not really. Not now that Jordan is gone and I’m out. But she’s always been smart, not book-smart like me or street-smart like Jordan, but cunning and manipulative.
What if she finds a way…
No, until I’m sure I’m free, it’s not worth chancing. It doesn’t change anything, anyway.
“It’s okay. Just tell me what you need.”
This time, the smile that pulls at my lips, while small, is genuine, and the tears that fill my eyes are from gratitude, not fear.
I’m in his arms before I can stop to think about it, and when his arms wrap around me to hold me just as tight, I wonder if maybe we can do this.
“Thank you…” There are so many things I’m thanking him for that I can’t possibly list them all, but he doesn’t seem to need me to.
“Whatever you need, Eternity, I’ll always be here.”
We spend the next—I don’t even know how long—looking up ways to get this color out of my hair, and despite trying everything from hot water to baking soda, vitamin C, and lemon juice, all we manage to do is lighten it, and barely at that.
Felix goes out and grabs whatever he can find just before the guys get back, and we’ve been locked in here ever since.
“Wren? Are you almost done?” Banging on the door pulls both our attention, and I quickly bat the tears from my eyes.
“Fuck!” The pain in my hand vibrates up my arm when I slam it on the glass. I’m in the shower, still fully in my uniform since it was already soaked, and I didn’t feel like now was a great time to strip down in front of a guy who makes my heart race.
Though maybe I should have, if Auntie’s going to kill me anyway.
“Wren…” Felix leans against the glass outside the shower, reaching for the door just as a pounding sounds again.
“Wren, are you okay?” Julian yells through the door, and I hear the concern in his voice. I also hear others talking, though I can’t make out what they’re saying.
“Oh, no…” I press a hand to my mouth to keep myself from crying aloud as my knees give way and I crumble to the floor.
“Go away!” Felix bellows, stalking toward the door before I can stop him.
Oh no.
The door is flung open a second later, with a very upset-looking Nolan filling the doorway.
“Why is she crying?” Julian demands, sounding much closer this time, but I can’t make myself look up and face them.
“Because she can’t get that color out of her hair. Color that I assume you put there!” The accusation is clear, and while Felix isn’t wrong, it’s also not what he thinks.
I should stop them, tell them it’s not any of their fault, but I can’t.
I can’t do anything; I’m not worth anything.
She’s going to kill me.
“Wren. Wren!”
I blink up and find the last person I expected standing over me.
Titus.
He reaches for me but quickly pulls back with a hiss, and I flinch away, burying my head in my hands to hide.
“What are you doing?” someone asks, and yeah, I wonder the same.
“The water is hot as fuck!” Titus bites back before the water shuts off.
“No!” I whip around to turn it back on, but Titus is faster than I am. He grabs me around the waist, hauling me back into his chest, ignoring the fact that I’m soaked and he will be now, too.
“Hot water is how I get it out!” I fight, reaching for the shower faucet despite it doing nothing for the last few hours.
I don’t know what else to do.
“Wren, stop.” Julian is there, in front of me, one hand on each side of my face so I can’t look away. A look I’ve never seen on his face before as he helps Titus pull me from the shower stall. “Talk to me. Why do you want the purple out? I thought you liked it?”
“And who’s going to kill you?” Nolan all but growls from outside the shower, and when I look up, I realize everyone’s in here.
This is so embarrassing.
“Nobody. I just need it out.” I shake my head, begging him to let it go.
“Wren.” ?Gavin’s concern is almost worse than everyone else's yelling. “What’s going on?”
“My aunt. She’s going to kill me, just like she did Jordan. It can't be purple. She can’t see it like this.” I sound crazy, I know, but I can’t help it, and I’m sure I don’t look much better as I claw at my hair hysterically.
“Jordan’s dead?” Titus’s question is valid; I haven’t told them or talked about it with anyone other than Dimitri and Felix. Dimitri, because he already knew, and well, Felix didn’t know either of us, so it was easier.
“Wren, why wouldn’t you have told us?” Julian sounds sad. Whether it’s because I told him about Jordan or I hurt his feelings by not telling him, I’m not sure, but I can’t seem to process either way.
Everything’s too much.
“Give her to me.” Nolan holds his arms out to Titus, but he doesn’t seem like he’s asking, and Titus must see that too, because he quickly hands me over.
I feel small in his arms, and when I mumble an apology for being wet, he hushes me, a hard look in his eyes.
I don’t think he minds the water so much, but I know he isn’t big on contact; he’s told me as much a few times now.
“Where are you taking her?” Julian asks, and Nolan seems torn on what to do or where to go.
Same.
“Let’s take her to D. He’ll know what to do.”
I don’t know who that is, but they all seem to agree. Even Felix seems to think it’s a good enough idea that he isn’t fighting.
He catches my eye as we move past, and I’m not sure what he’s looking for, but he seems to find it when he gives a nod and falls into step behind Nolan.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, we do. Now hush and let us help you,” Nolan says, raising a brow as if daring me to continue arguing.
I don’t, and when he tucks me in closer, resting his chin on the top of my head, I let myself nuzzle into his chest and find comfort, even if only for a moment.