Chapter 37 #2
And I don’t want to imagine a life where I don’t get to see him walk into a room.
Where I don’t get his dry commentary in my ear or feel his hand find mine like it belongs there.
I don’t want to imagine mornings without him.
Or think about him in New York, shouldering the weight of expectations and responsibility alone, while I’m here, both of us pretending we’re fine.
By the time I make it back to The Hay Barn, it’s close to closing time. A handful of regulars are playing pool near the back. The jukebox hums low country music.
Sonia looks up from where she’s stacking glasses, smiling when she spots me. “Hey,” she says warmly. “There’s someone here to see you.”
My heart leaps stupidly, traitorously. For one breathless second, I let myself hope it’s Grayson. Then I turn to find a woman in a business suit, standing near the end of the bar with her arms folded, impatience written all over her face. Not Grayson. Of course it isn’t. He left for New York.
Exhaustion weighs down my limbs as I walk toward her. “Can I help you?” I ask, letting my tone convey exactly how little I have left to give tonight.
“Felicity Moore?” she asks.
I nod, but I stay standing. Already on my guard.
“My name is Monica Samuels. I’m with Samuels & Samuels Property Development.” She pauses, eyeing the bar. “I’d like to talk to you about the strip of properties you own.”
“Strip?” I frown. “I own this building. That’s it.”
She hesitates, frowns, then pulls a folded document from her bag and hands it to me. “According to the city records, you own the entire strip.”
I stare down at the paper she hands me, my pulse ticking up as understanding dawns.
Why am I not surprised? Grayson bought them all when he bought my building and instead of just signing over the bar to me, he signed over the entire strip.
He knew I’d do right by these businesses. Trusting me like I trusted him.
“You may not be aware,” Monica continues smoothly, “but last year, we were in final negotiations with the previous owner to acquire the whole block.” She slides a glossy brochure across the bar. “Before they were bought in January, that is.”
The image on the front of the brochure makes my stomach churn. It’s this street, but my bar is gone. The launderette is gone. The pawn shop is gone. All of the buildings have been replaced by a glass office building that looks like a thousand others.
“My old landlord was planning to sell?” I ask quietly, even though I already know the answer.
“Yes,” Monica says.
I nod. The rent hikes make sense now. He was planning to sell. Easier to get us out if we’re already at financial breaking point.
“We’re obviously happy to carry over the same terms with you. Inside you’ll find—”
“No.” The word is firm and immediate.
Her brows lift in surprise.
“They’re not for sale,” I say, pushing the brochure away.
Images flood my mind. Mr. and Mrs. Alvarez at the launderette, who bring me empanadas when they make extras.
Larry at the pawn shop, who pretends he’s gruff but keeps spare change for kids who come in short.
Sally Fields, the women’s rights attorney, whose office is tucked at the end of the block, fighting battles that matter.
I can’t quite believe I own it all. But there’s no universe where I will sell.
Monica studies me for a long moment, clearly reassessing. “You may want to reconsider. The offer is very generous.”
I shake my head. “This place isn’t just real estate. It’s home. And it’s not going anywhere.”
Her lips press into a thin line. “If you change your mind—”
“I won’t,” I say calmly.
She gathers her things and leaves without another word, heels clicking against the floor. I stand there for a moment, the bar quiet around me, the weight of the day pressing in from all sides. I need air.
I check Sonia is still happy to close the bar, and then I step outside and start the walk back to my apartment, the night cool against my flushed skin, my thoughts tumbling faster with every block.
I used to think Grayson bought my building to blackmail me into helping him win over the fans.
And then I got to know him and realized he did it because I was struggling to pay rent and I was hanging by a thread.
He bought my building because he could help, and Grayson is a man who always helps.
And now I understand there was more. He would’ve spoken to my old landlord.
He would’ve known about the sale. He saw that my bar—and every other business on that street—was one signature and a few months away from being rubble.
He’d seen, over and over, the devastation lost businesses and livelihoods had on those affected.
He didn’t just make sure my bar was safe.
He made sure the entire street was safe.
That’s who Grayson Ashborne is. He saves people.
Putting everyone else first even when it costs him everything.
By the time I reach my apartment, my chest aches with the knowledge. I push the door open and freeze. There’s an envelope on the table. My name is written on the front in familiar, careful handwriting. My hands shake as I open it.
Inside is a note. Just five words.
I love you. I’m sorry.
Tucked behind it is a fifty-dollar bill. Creased and soft with use.
I stare at it, breath hitching, suddenly certain it’s the same bill I handed him that first night when he stepped behind the bar, clueless about beer taps and bar work and hated by half the city, but determined to help anyway.
“I love you, too,” I whisper to my empty apartment.
Letting Grayson in was never the problem after all.
It’s this. Letting him go. Because every instinct in me is screaming to do the opposite.
To stand at his side while he takes on a legacy that isn’t his fault and a fight he never should have had to carry alone.
He saves everyone else. And now I want to be the one who saves him.
Izzy told me to follow my heart. To choose happiness. And I see now that I’ve kept my life small because it felt safer that way. If my world was just the bar, the Red Zone, and the Sullivans, then I didn’t have to fear having anything taken away from me.
I told myself it was enough. That it was all I wanted. That I didn’t need more. But the truth is, I was afraid of more.
Mom left for Florida when I was twenty-two.
She was chasing her own happiness after a lifetime behind the bar.
I told everyone I understood. That I was grown and didn’t need her anymore.
Maybe part of that was even true. But another part of me felt like the ground had shifted under my feet.
Because she’d sacrificed my childhood, and countless small things in our family and our relationship, to run The Hay Barn.
And then walked away from it in a heartbeat, like none it had ever mattered.
But even before then, losing people wasn’t new to me.
I lost a father to drink then death. I lost Harry Sullivan, too.
He was a decent man. The first person who, along with Mama, showed me what family could look like.
He saw a lonely kid sitting in a bar and decided she deserved better. But too quickly, he died.
And even though Mama and the boys never stopped making Oakwood Ranch feel like home, some part of me learned that if I keep my world small and my circle tight, there’s less chance of getting hurt or abandoned again.
But loving Grayson changed that. Because wanting him means wanting more. It means a bigger life in a wider world. And that means risking everything I’ve spent years trying not to lose.
Grayson didn’t just walk into my life. He trusted me with his reputation.
With decisions that mattered. He listened to me.
Respected me. Put me at the table and asked for my voice instead of trying to drown it out.
He showed me a world that was bigger than this bar—but where I still mattered inside it.
Then it hits me. Yeah, I’m terrified, but I don’t want less anymore.
Keeping myself contained so nothing could touch me meant nothing could truly expand either.
And I’m done with that. There are risks, sure.
I could get hurt. But for the first time in my life, I’m not choosing safety. I’m choosing more.
Except I can’t ignore the words I said in his New York apartment. Not everyone wants to be saved. I was talking about Ana. But Grayson? Maybe I’d kept my world small to protect myself, but Grayson built his world around believing the burden is his and his alone, to protect and save and fix.
I don’t know if I can break through that. I don’t know that if I choose him and choose to change my life, he’ll let me. Because loving him isn’t the risk anymore. Grayson already has my whole heart. The risk is that he won’t let me stand by his side.