Mac
“I don’t know, man. I’ve been in some tight situations before, but I can’t say I’ve ever been this nervous,” I admit.
Through the phone, Will laughs at me.
“Dude, you’re overreacting,” he says. “It’d be different if you were on one of those shows like The Bachelor or something and the whole world is watching you put yourself out there. Shit, I thought SEALs had balls, but those guys… massive balls!”
“Facts. Those frat boys are either massive narcissists or complete dumbasses,” I laugh, “I’d like to think I’m smarter than that.”
“Goes without saying, Mac. As for your nerves, I wish I could say that it wasn’t that bad,” Will replies. “But I was pretty nervous asking Nyssa to marry me even though I was a hundred percent certain she’d say yes.”
“And now you’re welcoming your first child,” I congratulate him. The whole reason Will called me that morning was to tell me about the birth of his son the night before, and while I really am elated for him, I’m still distracted by my own plans for the afternoon.
Still, I do my best to set aside my own preoccupation and shift the focus back to him.
“What did you say his middle name was again?” I ask. “It sounded unique.”
“Kai,” he says. “William Kai. Kai is Hawaiian for the sea which has been a big part of my life, personally and professionally. Oh, and Nyssa was on board based on the fact we eloped in Hawaii.”
“It’s a good, strong name,” I agree, wondering what it will be like when I pick a name for my son. Or a daughter, I suppose. I’m a man, what can I say, I’d love to have a boy one day, but would be equally happy with a girl.
“Thanks, man,” Will replies. “I had no idea it was possible to love a little human so much until he was born.”
“I can’t even begin to imagine,” I admit to him. I mean it, too. I already love Allee so much it, so to think that I could love someone else unconditionally like that is hard for me to wrap my mind around.
“I don’t know,” I continue. “It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that I love this woman this much.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s no secret in my life that I’ve enjoyed sowing my wild oats and being the consummate bachelor,” I reply. “And to suddenly come to the point in my life when I’m ready to say goodbye to all the other women out there just to be with one, that’s big for me man.”
“I know what you mean,” Will laughs. “But when you know, you know. That’s how I felt when I met Nyssa anyway.”
“It didn’t start that way with Alejandra,” I reply.
“No?”
“We hit it off, but we really started as friends,” I tell him. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always thought she was hot as hell and a total catch, but we started off entirely platonic.”
“How long ago was that?” Will asked. “I don’t think we’ve ever really talked about how the two of you got started.”
“Eighteen months ago we met while in training for this task force. We were friends, then it grew into a casual dating situation. But that also grew until that last mission that I brought you in on and things got dicey, and well, it made me realize that she’s the one. I love that girl, and I want her and only her for the rest of my life.”
“Well, like I said, when you know, you know,” Will agrees with me. “And it sounds to me like you have no doubts here.”
“None,” I assure him. “Hoping she feels the same. Damn! Hear me talk, and you’d think I don’t know her at all.”
“You can know someone entirely and still be nervous that they may not feel the same way that you do,” he replies.
“Yeah, that’s the risk we guys run, being the ones that do the proposing.”
“But at the same time, would you have gone through the effort of getting that ring and setting this whole thing up – very creative, I might add – if you didn’t think she would say yes?” Will asks.
“I’d go to the ends of the earth if there was only a small chance she’d say yes,” I laughingly admit. “I’m love-struck, Will. I don’t think there’s much I wouldn’t do at this point.”
“Right, but my point is that you both clearly have reached the point in your relationship with each other where you know there’s a good chance she’ll also want to spend her life with you.”
“I feel certain she does, yes,” I nod as I speak despite the fact I’m on the phone. “Fuck. If we weren’t both so committed to our own countries, we would already be living together, I know that. Putting a ring on her finger is just proving to the rest of the world that I know what I want.”
“Exactly,” Will says. “You got this in the bag, man. Oh, and before I let you go, how much time do I have to get you the next report?”
“Take your time with it,” I tell him, knowing that he’s referring to his assignment with the non-profit he, Drew, and I are working on launching. It’s still in the early planning phase and something he can work on while taking time off to bond with his newborn. Besides, I’ve been so caught up with the current joint task force project with U.S. and Mexican Special Forces, that our project has had to take a temporary back seat.
“Get me the reports and the lists of things you want to address with Drew by the end of next week, and we can go from there.”
“That works for me,” Will says. “And by then, I hope to hear the news of your engagement.”
“I’m hoping to give you that news before the end of the day.”
He laughs, and though I chuckle, the nerves are setting in all over again. I look at my phone to check the time.
“You got this, man. Now, go claim your woman!” Will says, always Mr. Positivity.
“Roger that. Thanks for the vote of confidence!” I laugh, my heart skipping a beat with reinforced hope, and we wrap up the conversation.
I have to get out to the drop zone for HALO re-qualifications.
Normally, I look forward to the adrenaline rush of HALO training – High Altitude Low Opening. It’s basically jumping out of a plane at a high altitude, but refraining from opening the chute until the last second. It was always the kind of rush that would get me going. But today, I’m more nervous than usual because of my secret plan.
Allee told me she was due for HALO re-qualification. I needed some extra hours, so I convinced her to come to Coronado to do the re-qual together that afternoon. She agreed. It was Friday and technically my turn to be driving the two hours down to her place in Rosarito, Mexico to spend the weekend, so that translated to extra driving for the both of us. But assuming everything goes according to plan, I have a feeling she won’t mind.
We normally would have just doubled up spending the weekend at my place, but I’mhaving work done on the condo this weekend, and I didn’t want to have to deal with workers invading our privacy. So, she will be meeting me at the drop zone hangar this afternoon, then she’ll be heading home while I get some errands done and go back to my place to shower and get ready for the weekend… hopefully a celebration weekend.
We had talked about marriage a couple of times over the past year and a half, but I personally didn’t think she would be expecting a proposal anytime in the near future. On the other hand, I was pretty confident she felt the same about being with me as I did about being with her, so the proposal, while a surprise, wouldn’t be entirely out of the blue.
I hope, anyway.
“Alright boy, gotta leave you here for the afternoon, alright?”
Gunner, my lab-shepherd mix, thumped his tail on the floor as I spoke to him, but he didn’t bother getting up. I laugh at his laziness. When he’s working, he works hard and he’s all in. When he’s off, he’s a master at relaxation.
“I don’t know if you’re smart enough to realize this gear means you can’t come, or if you’re just that level of lazy these days. Either way, I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Come on,” I tell him. “You’re going to have to be inside while I’m gone. Come on.”
He doesn’t seem inclined to move out of the warm, sunny spot he found on the patio, and I have to repeat myself once more to get him to listen. Not because he isn’t trained. I know he has my back and will do as he’s told in an instant—should the situation call for it. But he’s also off the clock right now and not afraid to let me know it.
When he knows I’m about to leave and I’m not taking him with me, he shows his discontent by dragging his ass and it makes me laugh every time.
With a grunt, he heaves himself up from his spot in the sun and begrudgingly walks inside, allowing me to close the door behind him.
“There’s a lot you can do with me, bud,” I tell him. “But jumping out of a plane isn’t one of them… yet. Don’t worry, I’ll be back this afternoon, then we’re going down to Allee’s for the weekend. Would you like that?”
He wags his tail, and I pat his head as I grab my keys off the counter and head for the door. Gunner follows, but he’s just walking me out. I can tell from his body language he knows he’s not going. He’s too smart for his own good.
I get to the landing strip before Allee does, and I’m glad for that. Bart, the pilot, and Jimmy, the jumpmaster, are both waiting for me when I get there. I’ve told them both what I’m planning with the proposal, and like Will, they’re rooting for me.
“They didn’t have the brand you wanted, but the wine shop owner recommended this one,” Bart tells me as he pulls a bottle of champagne out of the mini fridge in his office.
“Perfect,” I say. “Thanks, man. Do I owe you any extra?”
“Nope, we’re square,” he says. “Now don’t fuck this up. We like Allee, so make us proud,” he says, laughing.
“Here’s my contribution to this mission,” Jimmy says as he puts two red Solo cups next to the champagne. “Only our finest for you, Mac!”
“Awesome, thanks! Let’s hope she says yes.”
“She will,” Jimmy says, “God, the way you two were looking at each other after the last mission, I thought you two would elope by the time you came back into work next.”
“Well man, I don’t know,” I shake my head. “There was something about the last mission that really sealed it for me. I know I love her, but with her in such a dangerous situation like that, it just really proved to me how much I’m invested in her. I’m ready to throw in the towel on my bachelor ways and commit.”
“I’m happy for you,” Bart says. “Speak of the she-devil, she’s here.”
He nods out the window, and sure enough, I see Allee’s Jeep pull into the parking lot. She whips into her parking space, and I feel my heart skip a beat.
I’m acutely aware of the ring in my pocket, and as Bart hides the bottle of champagne and the cups back in the drawer, I see Allee making her way toward the hangar.
“Fashionably late, as always,” Bart comments when she’s close enough to hear us.
“Fuck off, Kinsley,” she playfully retorts. “Traffic was a bitch.”
“You ready to jump?” I ask, hating the way my voice catches as I speak.
“I’m ready for anything with you,” she tells me with her sexy smirk as she rises to the tips of her toes to kiss me. I kiss her back, my mind on the irony of her statement. She has no idea I’m about to ask her to spend the rest of her life with me, so hopefully she means it when she says she’s ready for anything.
“Just us?” she asks, looking around the hangar.
“Yeah,” I reply. “I talked to the other guys, but they’re going to go into the regularly scheduled jump.”
“Rookies.”
“That’s what I said!” I laughed. Of course I didn’t tell her that I actually arranged for just the two of us to do the jump today, and the fact that Bart and Jimmy are here is a pure favor to me. I’m glad they’re good enough friends of mine to make it happen.
“Alright,” Jimmy announces. “I don’t know about you two, but I have more things to be doing with my Friday than just hanging out here, so let’s do this.”
The rest of us agree, so while Allee and I suit up, Bart starts his pre-flight checklist, and Jimmy begins his equipment check with us. I feel more nervous about asking Allee to marry me than I felt even for my very first jump, and I can’t help but laugh at myself for it.
The feeling is exhilarating, and I have to admit, I know I’ve made the right choice. I’ve never been so sure about anyone – or anything – in my entire life.
We’re in the airplane and by the time we reach the proper altitude and Jimmy tells us to get ready for the jump, I’ve almost forgotten about the whole reason we’re up here. I pull my gear on, and with my back turned to Allee, I fasten the ring to the rip cord.
“Alright, get into position!” Jimmy yells over the noise.
Allee is finishing adjusting her own gear when she looks up. I can see with the way she’s looking at me that she’s not noticed the ring, but I don’t have time for her to notice it organically.
“Alejandra,” I say, and that really gets her attention. I never call her by her full name and she knows there must be a reason for it.
“Will you take the plunge with me?” I ask her as I move my hand over to the ring and show it to her. Her eyes go wide as soon as she sees it, and I add, “For life?”
“Mac,” she breathes.
We’re interrupted with Jimmy saying “It’s go time, kids.”
“Yes!” she cries out, nodding and laughing at the same time.
I kiss her and say, “I love you, Allee. I’ll put this on your finger when we’re on the ground. Let’s do this!” And out we go.
It takes a few seconds for everything to sink in, but by the time we free-fall, pull our cords, and deploy the chutes, it hits me and I feel elated.
All the nerves I’d felt leading up to the question dissipate, and in their place I’m filled with more excitement than I can express. I’ve never been so pumped in my entire life, with the joy translating into an adrenaline rush I’ve never before experienced.
Although my feet are on the ground once we’ve landed, I still feel like I’m flying as I jog to her and pull her into my arms.
She’s laughing with tears in her eyes, which could have been because of the sheer wind speed during free fall, but I’d like to think that it’s because she’s just as touched and thrilled with the sudden change in our relationship status as I am.
“Wow,” she says when we break our kiss to come up for air. I thought I was just going to come up here to get re-qualified. I didn’t know I’d be walking out with an engagement ring on top of it.”
“And speaking of that, I need to put this sucker on your finger before I lose it,” I say, “I was afraid to try to detach it from the rip cord and put it on your finger up there! I mean, it’s insured, but still, didn’t want to chance it!”
I slip it on her finger, and she gasps and says, “Mac, it’s stunning. I love it!”
“Clearly you’ve put more thought into this afternoon than I did,” she says with a shake of her head as she looks down. “I never thought I would get engaged wearing – this,” as she motions to her jump suit.
I laugh. “You look like the goddess you are. Although –”
I let my voice trail off as I lean toward her. “You’re going to look even better in nothing at all.”
She smirks up at me. “Is it bad all I want to do now is get naked?”
I laugh. “You truly are a woman after my own heart.”
“Great jump for both of you,” Jimmy says as he walks over, ending the sexy conversation she and I were having for the moment. “Normally I ask for two or three jumps for a re-qual, but you both were flawless. How do you feel?”
“Right now, Jimmy, I’m on top of the world,” I tell him, and he laughs.
“Oh yeah, and congrats you two,” he says. “Allee, you feel good with that jump?”
“It was the jump that changed my life.”
He chuckles and shakes his head, then turns to head back to the hangar. Bart is pulling the plane back inside as the three of us start walking across the field. Allee’s hardly watching where she’s going, however, as her eyes are glued to the ring that’s now on her finger. I have to admit, I’m elated that it fits and thrilled with how good it looks.
It was risky for me to purchase a ring without first asking her what she preferred, but I’m pretty sure I did a good job with it.
“Congrats to the future Mr. and Mrs.!” Bart exclaims when we get into the hangar and he sees the ring on Allee’s finger. “Wasn’t sure if I should bring it up or not in case she said no.”
“Was there a thought that I might?” she asks.
“Of course not,” I tell her. “You know these two.”
“We were so sure you’d say yes, so we brought champagne,” Jimmy says, and Bart gives him a look that makes me laugh. Bart was the one who got the champagne, and I gave him the money to get it. That’s SO Jimmy.
“Let’s have a glass now,” Allee suggests. “You guys doing any more jumping today? Or are you good to indulge?”
“That’s it for me,” Bart says, “I’m in.”
“I even brought the fine china for this occasion,” Jimmy says as he breaks out the Solo cups and we all laugh.
Allee has no idea of the things that have been going on behind the scenes, but the banter among all of us is always comical.
I open the champagne and pour us all a cup full and we enjoy hanging out and talking for a bit, but I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I’m now engaged, and the woman who’s going to be my wife is standing right here next to me.
I had never really thought I’d settle down and get married in my life. I have often said that I’m married to my career above all else, and the way I live my life backs that. I have no problem admitting that I’ve enjoyed sowing my wild oats all these years, but at the same time, the thought of getting married to Allee blows that life out of the water.
If there’s any woman who measures up to what I want in a wife, she’s certainly the one. And I plan to spend the rest of our lives giving her everything she deserves in a husband.
“Fuck, an hour already?” Bart says when he realizes how long we’ve been talking. “Congrats again, you two, but I’ll see you later.”
“Yep, me too,” Jimmy concurs. “The wife is going to blow up my phone if I don’t get a move on.”
“He tries to make it sound like she’s a ball and chain, but in reality, he loves every minute of it!” Bart says with a laugh as they head out of the hangar.
“Well, fiance,” Allee emphasizes the word, “I can’t wait to be your ball and chain,” she says as she nuzzles up against me, and I immediately feel my pants tighten a little.
“Mmm, I like the way that title rolls off your tongue,” I smile
She smirks. “I can think of something that needs to roll off your tongue now that you mention it,” she purrs, and I’ll never get tired of her flirting with me.
I had a feeling after the proposal we’d end up back at my place if she said yes, and it seems she was already thinking along those lines.
“You want to drive together or separate?”
“Let’s drive separately so we don’t have to come back here on our way out of town,” I suggest. “There’s still a few more things I have to do before I can come down to Rosarita, so you’re going to have a head start.”
“Unless I just crash up here tonight and we can head down tomorrow,” Allee suggests, but I shake my head.
“I’ve got reservations at our favorite restaurant at eight,” I reply. “We need to have a proper celebration, my love. Not to mention I’d rather have the whole weekend together to just lounge around and not have to spend time driving tomorrow.”
“That’s fair. You can just meet me at the restaurant then, and we’ll head back to my place after.”
“Sounds good to me,” I agree. “Let’s roll.”
She gets into her Jeep, and I hop into my own truck to head back to my place.
On the drive back, I think about all the things I should have done but didn’t do before heading out to the jump zone, but ultimately, I decide not to worry about it. With the news of our engagement on the front of both our minds, it’s not likely she’s going to notice the laundry or the dishes.
And if she does, I doubt she’s going to care that much.
She beats me back to my place, but she has a key, so it’s no biggie. She tends to drive that Jeep like it’s a Ferrari and I’m always on her about being safe. Truth be told, she’s an adrenaline junkie like me, so I get it.
I know with her acceptance of my proposal that we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t wait to get to her right the fuck now.
It’s been a week since we last spent time together, and it was one long week. I can’t wait to hold her, to make love to her.
I will not miss our long-distance relationship. It’s not like we’re on opposite sides of the world, but separate dwellings force us to say goodbye more and only having weekends together gets old. When she and I are married, we never have to worry about these goodbyes again, and that’s the best part.
I can’t wait to spend forever with her.