Chapter Sixteen
My ears ring.
At first, I’m not sure I heard Allee properly. I can logically understand what she told me, but the meaning of the words doesn’t sink in right away.
“Well, say something.”
“Did you just say – Are you – What?!” I’m a stumbling, bumbling idiot.
“Yes, love… I’m carrying your baby,” she says and I think I need to pick my jaw up off the ground.
“Holy – Wow – I mean,” I can’t even speak, Im so stunned. A huge smile starts to spread across my face and since I don’t seem to have a grasp of the English language at the moment, I simply take her face in my hands, plant a huge kiss on her, and then pick her up in my arms and give her a huge bear hug.
And then I suddenly gasp and put her back down on the ground and help her sit back down in her chair. “Oh my God, should I have done that? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” as I place a concerned hand on her belly.
And she busts out laughing.
“I’m not going to break… the baby’s not going to break… we’re both fine, Mac!”
My heart is bursting at the seams. I kneel down in front of her and place both hands gently on her stomach, staring at it for a moment and just taking it in. I look up at her and I feel tears stinging my eyes.
“Three days ago when I saw you awake and alive after I thought I’d lost you, I realized that was the happiest moment of my life,” I say to Alle, who also now has tears in her eyes, “And now, three days later, I’ve just topped that, because the love of my life is carrying my child.”
And there we are, smiling with tears on our faces, celebrating what we didn’t even know we wanted.
“Look at me, I’ve turned into a complete pansy ass!”
“Right? Oh my God… we’ve cried more in three days than our lifetimes,” Allee laughs through her tears.
“I’m so happy, Allee. We may not have planned this, but here we are.”
“I mean, a baby? It’s going to change everything, Mac,” she says. “Like, everything.”
“But it’s what we wanted… eventually,” I tell her. “Sometimes God has other plans or a different timeline.”
“We wanted to be soldiers.”
“What I wanted to do with my life was to be a soldier,” I tell her. “And that’s what I’m doing. But it’s just for now. What I want to be in life is a husband and father. And that’s what I’m going to do.”
My heart is racing, and my mind is trying to keep up. I’m going to be a father. I’m filled with more pride than I can express, and more love for Allee than I could ever possibly show and I’m blown away with the idea that I’m going to share a child with her.
“When is our little junior soldier going to join us?” I ask.
“Well, the doctors predict I’m about 18 weeks, so Junior will arrive in about 20 to 22 weeks,” she says.
“Sooo, in about five and a half months? What’s with the weeks?”
“It’s apparently how they calculate pregnancies. In weeks, not months,” she says.
“Okay, so the baby doctor says 20 to 22 weeks?”
“Yeah, well the ‘baby doctor’ is apparently called an OB,” she laughs.
“Good Lord, we have a lot to learn. Is there a manual for all this shit?”
“Yes, babe. I’m sure there’s a manual.”
I feel like I’m floating, and my cheeks hurt from smiling. Then a thought crosses my mind, and I ask Allee, “I take it your sister knows about the baby, then?” I’m pretty sure that I’m stating the obvious.
“Oh yeah… she knew before I did.”
“And how’s she taking it?”
“We haven’t talked about it much, but I’m thankful she had the sense to leave things as they were and let me handle them when I woke up,” she tells me.
I want Camilla to support the relationship I have with Allee, purely because she is the only family Allee has. But, at the end of the day, the important thing is that Allee and I are on the same page, and if we’re happy, then it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
I’m also already thinking about when I’m going to tell everyone in my life the good news. If Allee is already halfway through the pregnancy, I don’t have a ton of time to prepare for the idea of fatherhood. Then again, Will and Nyssa just had a baby, and I’m sure he can give me some pointers between now and then.
My parents are going to be over the moon with happiness, too. I know that.
My entire life has been so consumed with serving my country and finding Libby, that they haven’t bothered me much with the idea of finding someone and having kids. Then, when I got with Allee, they knew that our lifestyles made it unlikely that we would be bringing kids into the world anytime soon. Coming off the high of finding Libby, they will be overjoyed to be grandparents.
Allee still has tears in her eyes. “I didn’t know how you were going to take the news, Mac,” she says, wiping her tears. “I didn’t know if you’d be happy.”
“Honey, I’m happier than I’ve ever been,” I promise her. “This is the best thing to have ever happened to us. We’re going to be parents,” and I pull her in and hold her close to me.
After a moment, I pull back from her a bit, then tilt her chin to look up into my face. I press my lips to hers, and a rush of excitement runs through me as our lips meet.
I’ve kissed her since finding her, but we haven’t made love. I’ve wanted to since the moment I took her into my arms a few days ago, but I’m not going to rush her in any way. I figure she’ll know when she’s ready, and she’ll be the one to come to me.
Allee has never been shy on that front, and I don’t expect her to be now, either.
But, when she told me we’re going to be parents, it filled me with such a love and desire for her, and I’m letting her know that with the way I’m kissing her. She moans softly, her tears no longer falling.
Our kiss deepens, her teasing my tongue with her own and I feel the tightness of my pants as a result.
She moves her hand down, palming me and sending a shiver of desire through me.
“I want you,” she says.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” I ask.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I already told you, I’m not going to break.”
I grin at her before scooping her up in my arms, and she gasps, then giggles.
“God, it’s been a while since you’ve done that,” she says.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No, only surprised me.”
“Good.”
She loops her arms around my neck and kisses me as I walk with her into the house. I use my foot to slide the door back into place, then I carry her back toward her bedroom. It’s a little tight with all the medical equipment still set up, but she’s moved most of it off the bed. It’s only a full-size mattress, so the two of us in it together are pretty cozy, but I’m okay with that.
Gunner followed us into the house, but he was distracted by something he found out in the living room, so the two of us are alone in her bedroom. I close the door most of the way, knowing that he’s not going to bother us but giving him the option to come into the bedroom if he decides.
I lay Allee on the bed, our lips still locked together, then I stand up. I’m incredibly careful with her as I move her, but once my arms are free, all the pent-up energy shows.
I fight with my shirt, then shove my shorts and boxers off simultaneously. At the same time, Allee struggles to get out of her own clothes before tossing them in a heap on the floor.
She’s been freed from her casts and bandages, but she’s still slow in her movements. I know it’s painful for her to move too quickly, or to lift her arms over her head too much. She’s getting better by the day, but she has to take her time.
“Easy there, partner,” I tell her. “I don’t want you to set yourself back because you’re too eager for some lovin’.”
She laughs. “I’m fine, and believe me when I say I’ve been craving you for weeks. Shit, I’m sure even my subconscious was craving you when I was in the coma, too.”
I can’t help but laugh.
“I know I was craving you, but that’s kind of weird when you were unconscious so I kept it to myself.”
“I know what you meant,” she says, grinning at me as I climb onto the mattress with her.
I’m rock hard and dying to have her, her body every bit as incredible as ever. She’s lost weight and muscle mass, and at the same time, she’s starting to show the pregnancy. She’s perfect. My eyes are drawn to her belly and I seriously cannot wait to watch it grow.
Our lips find each other once again, and she wraps her arms around my neck.
“I love you so much, Mac,” she says.
“Ditto, baby.I’ve missed you so much,” I tell her, moving to lie beside her, supporting myself on one arm and cupping her face with my other hand as I kiss her softly.
Her lips part as my tongue explores her mouth and God, how I’ve missed her full, soft lips. I could kiss her forever.
My hand lightly strokes her bare breasts, noticing they seem fuller even though she’s lost weight, and I recall that’s a pregnancy thing. I feel her nipples get hard under my touch, as she moans softly. Knowing they can be sensitive during pregnancy, I’m being careful to be gentler than usual. Besides the pregnancy sensitivities, she’s got injuries healing, and I don’t want to stress her or cause her any pain from being too vigorous. Clearly, I’m a nervous wreck.
“Is this okay, Allee?
“Babe, I’m not a piece of china. Thank you for being careful, but I need to feel your touch and I promise… it feels good. I’ll let you know if anything hurts, okay?”
“Okay,” I smile and lean over to kiss and lick her luscious nipples, sucking on them gently and showing equal attention to both. I’m so aroused and it feels like the first time we slept together… so new and sensual yet, so perfectly intimate.
Slow is the name of the game. I want her to feel cherished because she is. And selfishly, I want this to last forever and I want to remember it forever.
I feel her hand on my chest and sliding down my stomach to just above my raging hard-on. It’s screaming for her touch, and thankfully she doesn’t linger too long before I feel her warm hand grip me gently. It’s impossible to stop the groan from escaping my lips against hers.
She opens her eyes and looks into mine, and I whisper, “Baby, I’ve missed your touch. It feels so good,” and she smiles before kissing me a bit harder and giving my lower lip a little nip and then sucking on it gently, which makes me want to devour her. I force myself to hold back, repeating in my head – gentle, Mac… be gentle.
As she strokes my stiff cock, my hand moves down her soft belly and she opens her legs, inviting me in, and with a featherlight touch, I explore her warm wetness with my fingers as she moans in approval. Oh, how I’ve missed her body.
My fingers gently massage her most sensitive spot and then dip inside her, and from her moans and my need to feel her, I know what we both need. As much as I thought I should take things super slow, I think the urgency we both feel to be connected is about to win out.
She confirms my thoughts by saying “Mac, I need to feel you inside me, baby. Please.”
I move between her legs and use my hand to guide myself to the warmth of her wet, soft folds, rubbing the head of my cock against her for a moment. She moans “Yes, Mac” and I press my tip into her slit, and she gasps as I push myself all the way into her.
“Oh damn, Allee, you feel so good.”
“Mmm, yes baby, let me feel all of you,” she moans and I could die happy right now.
I pull myself most of the way out of her before pushing into her again, this time holding myself as deep inside her as I can. I love the way her body grips me, stretching to accommodate me. She’s so tight, but the warmth is so comforting, so familiar.
I push into her again and again. I’m moving slowly, careful with her as I don’t want to be too rough. It’s difficult for me to control myself, as my own body is dying to make wild love to her. We’ve always enjoyed it on the vigorous side in the bedroom, but I want to be gentle.
I want this to be tender and loving, but I also crave her even more now that I’m inside her. It’s as though I can’t get close enough to her, even being both on top of her and inside her. Her hands run over my back, her nails lightly digging in. Just enough. It’s just the right amount of pressure she’s using that drives me wild in the best way possible.
I reach to stroke her gorgeous tits, teasing her nipples with my thumb. She moans, loving the sensations I’m sending through her.
“I missed you so fucking much,” I whisper as I kiss her neck and then kiss my way down to her nipples, nibbling at one before sucking and flicking my tongue around it. I’m still slowly but steadily pumping into her as I move to her other nipple, giving that one the same attention I gave the first.
I love the way her body responds. Her moans and her gasps only drive me crazier with desire.
“Oh God, baby, you feel so good in me,” she tells me. “I’m close, Mac.”
“Yes baby, cum for me,” I breathe. “I want to feel you.”
She grips me, her hips moving along with mine as I plunge in and out of her, feeling her constrict around my cock as I push into her. Shivers run down my spine and tension is growing inside me as I thrust.
“Oh yeah, Mac… cum with me, baby. I need to feel you cum with me,” she says, and if mere words can take me over the edge, hers can.
I feel her body clamp down around my cock and I can’t hold back. I push into her one last time, and my own pleasure erupts.
“Oh God, Allee!” I yell, holding myself inside her as I cum so hard. Literally a mind-body orgasm like I’ve never had. The waves of euphoria wash over me, pulsing through my veins as my full-length pulses within her.
She holds onto me as I finish, and I wrap my arms around her, holding her as well.
We’re both out of breath and spent, lying naked in each other’s arms for a long while.
I’m basking in the residual feelings of love and passion I have for this woman – the mother of my child.
“I love you, Allee,” I tell her. “So much.”
“I love you, too, Mac,” she tells me. “There are no words.”
I smile, pulling her tighter against me and I relax with my woman and my thoughts.
I’ve always felt proud and satisfied with my career as a SEAL. I know that’s never going to change about me, either. It’s in my DNA as much as the rest of me. But, I’ve realized through this whole ordeal that Allee herself is the one who truly brings me fulfillment in my life.
I’m a SEAL, but I’m also her partner. Together, we’re starting a new generation, and to me, that’s not just amazing, it’s a miracle. The fact that her body sustained such terrible trauma and yet was carrying and growing a life inside of her is truly a miracle. It’s a testament not only to her physical strength but also a spiritual confirmation of the things that are bigger than us in life. And that life itself is a true miracle.
This woman is the love of my life, and I’m looking forward to the future we’re building together. Whatever happens with our careers is secondary. What matters is what we are to each other.
And Allee is my entire world.