Chapter Fourteen
Cole
Our mission planning took up the majority of our evening. Bella and I were glad we'd decided to stay put at the decoy hotel since I ’ ll be rising at zero-dark-thirty to be picked up and helo ’ d to Col ó n where the team is based .
Commander Merrick initially didn ’ t plan to put me in with Bravo Company for this mission because it ’ s not my usual team. Still, I feel strongly that Harley should see a familiar face after all she ’ s been through, and he approved my request.
The conversation with Bella about that is both surprising and revealing for both of us. I fully expected pushback from her when she heard me make the request to Merrick. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I wished I could reel them back in, worrying that she ’ d be angry with me for not talking to her about it first.
After all, this was one of her issues with me twelve years ago. The fact that I ’ d decided to enlist unilaterally instead of discussing it with her first was a major sore spot for her.
As soon as the Commander and I finish up, I immediately go to sit next to Bella.
“ Hey, I need to talk to you about something,” I say quietly.
“ Well, that sounds ominous,” she says, and her face reflects that seriousness.
“ First, I need to apologize,” I say, reaching over and taking hold of her hand.
“ Oh? ”
“ Yeah, I had a bit of Deja vu just now,” I say, and I have her full attention. “ I should have had a conversation with you before I requested to be put on this mission. Just like I should have talked with you before I went to enlist twelve years ago.”
Bella ’ s concerned expression softens, and a warm smile replaces it. She squeezes my hand, “ Thank you,” she says softly. “ Thank you for showing me that you ’ ve evolved from a young and impulsive college kid, and, I ’ ll just say it – maybe a tiny bit self-centered – into a mature, wise, and selfless grown man.”
“ I want you to know that regardless of what happens between us, this week has helped me see the bigger picture in terms of thinking outside of myself,” I explain. “ Being a SEAL has taught me a lot about teamwork and trusting my partners in my professional life, and I ’ ve not yet mastered that in my personal life. But I want to. And I intend to.”
“ I always try to find the silver lining in difficult situations, and for as terrible as all this has been, I ’ m glad that you and I reconnected,” she says thoughtfully. “ If only for a few days.”
Could have done without that last bit , I think to myself as I pause for a beat.
“ You know, Bella, it doesn ’ t have to be for only a few days ,” I say. “ I know our lives have grown apart, and there are other hurdles we ’ d have to overcome, but we could do it. If we officially get back together, I mean.”
“ Honestly, I don ’ t know whether to laugh or cry,” she says as she twists her hair around her finger repeatedly, winding it up and then unwinding it. It ’ s a nervous habit of hers that I recognize from our younger years.
She continues, “ I have no doubt we could get over those hurdles, Cole, but that doesn ’ t change the fact that your job can be incredibly dangerou s. I just don ’ t know if I can live with the fact that you could die at any moment, and it just kind of seems counterintuitive to sign up for the very life I left behind.”
I chuckle. But when I see her face reacting to my laughter, I tamp it down.
“ There ’ s nothing funny about this,” she snaps.
“ What ’ s funny, Bella — or maybe ironic is a better word — is that you think if you ’ re not working in a dangerous job, then you ’ re in control and safe. But that’s not necessarily the case. Look what happened to Harley.”
She pauses in thought, and I seize the moment to continue.
“ Just because you put yourself in a bubble of safety doesn ’ t mean you ’ ll always be safe. You ’ ve created an illusion in your life, Bella. You ’ re so terrified of losing someone that you refuse to get close to anyone. Yet, you still wound up in a dangerous situation like this.”
She folds her arms across her chest, and her cheeks appear to have some heat behind them. I can ’ t tell if she ’ s going to cry or yell at me.
I take my chances and continue, “ Part of the reason life is so beautiful – that romantic relationships are so beautiful – is that we don ’ t know how much time we have. Any minute of any day could be our very last. All the precautions in the world may not save you from it, and honestly, I think deep down you know that.”
There ’ s silence between us, but I don ’ t feel pressure to break it. This is an important conversation and deserves the reverence of thoughtful consideration, so it ’ s not a discussion that should be rushed.
“ Can we pick this up again later?” Bella asks, and then adds, “ And before you laugh again… yes, I realize the irony of my statement. Your point that we take it for granted that we ’ ll have later . And then I say I want to talk about it later .”
“ I ’ ll let it slide this time,” I smile.
“ Thanks. I promise we ’ ll circle back to it later,” she says with a laugh, emphasizing the word later one more time for effect.
“ You ’ re lucky you ’ re so freakin ’ cute, you know that?” I say as I wink and give her chin a little love tweak, which makes her smile.
I let the conversation go and turn the topic back to tomorrow ’ s mission.
“ Can you give me the rundown on how this thing is going down tomorrow?” she asks me. “ I ’ ll need you to dumb it down for me since I ’ m military-lingo-challenged.”
“ Of course,” I say as I clean my weapon, hoping I won ’ t need it, but this is just part of my pre-mission routine. Always has been. Superstitious? Maybe. But I ’ m not willing to test the theory, so I clean my weapon whether it needs it or not.
“ Just to clarify… do you want the brutally honest version or what theguys on my team call the ‘ wife's version’? ” I ask with a shrug.
“ Hmmm… how about somewhere in between?” she says.
For the next half hour or so, I give Bella a blow-by-blow synopsis of how we hope things will go tomorrow. I ’ m going with the middle-of-the-road version. I ’ m walking a thin line between scaring her to death —which would not help my case for us rekindling our relationship —and not being straightforward enough. That could work against me if something goes sideways during the mission, and she might think I downplayed the risks.
She ’ s smart enough to see right through me if I lean too much in one direction or the other, so I need to find the sweet spot in Switzerland.
No pressure at all.
I have to be ready to roll at a nearby helipad at 0400. It’s the best we could do on short notice to get me to Col ó n with the rest of the team. Mason found a pilot who runs helicopter tours for tourists. From what he tells me, the guy ’ s an expat from the States and a retired Army pilot. He was more than willing to accommodate us by shuttling me to Col ó n and back.
If the weather is good and everything goes smoothly, this mission should be relatively straightforward. We have a few advantages that tilt the odds in our favor.
The body of water where the yacht is currently anchored is almost always calm, and satellite radar doesn’t show any bad weather blowing in. The element of surprise before daybreak is standard operating procedure for SEALs. We work best under the cover of darkness. Most of us feel like our night vision goggles have become appendages on our heads. We also have the advantage of the bad guys basically being on an island within itself. They will be like caged rats with nowhere to scatter and escape.
“ What about the tender boats that yachts have for ferrying passengers to land and back?” Bella interjects.
“ Yeah, that ’ s a good question, and we ’ ve got it covered,” I say with a nod. “ We ’ ll have a couple of guys in the water to disable any tender boats or personal watercraft, like jet skis, that may be moored and at the ready. That ’ s a first step before we board the vessel.”
“ How are you guys transported?”
“ Another good question, and I ’ m going to answer your question with a trivia question,” I say with a playful smile. She raises her eyebrows. “ You mentioned all the acronyms we military folks use. Do you happen to know what SEAL stands for?” I ask, fully expecting her to take a pass, resulting in a boring history lesson on Navy SEALs. But in true Bella fashion, the girl puts me right in my place.
“ Well, I most certainly do know what SEAL stands for,” she says with a shit-eating grin on her face. “ It stands for Sea, Air, and Land teams. Boom!” And she dramatically uses her hands to signify her mind blowing up with that factoid.
“ Well, well, well. Someone seems to have taken a little interest in Navy SEAL trivia, ” I say, enjoying ribbing her, but she moves me along.
“ Okay, okay… get on with it,” she says, her blushing cheeks giving it away that she has indeed done a little research at some point along the way.
I explain to her that we ’ ll have all angles covered – by sea, air, and land obviously. The OIJ agents will handle the land part of this mission. They ’ ll cover the marina closest to the yacht ’ s anchored location off Bocas del Toro in case any of the perps are able to cut and run. But if we do our job right, that won ’ t happen.
The Coast Guard ’ s role is to manage our transportation and handle all navigation aspects. We’ll be using their typical search and rescue helicopter—a Sikorsky that can carry ten passengers—and their mid-size response boat, which can also carry ten passengers. We’ll also be using two of our SEAL team Zodiacs, high-speed inflatable boats that can hold about six of us.
“ Then it ’ s a VBSS operation on this dude ’ s superyacht. Do you recall what –” I start, but Bella jumps in before I can finish my sentence.
“ VBSS - Visit, Board, Search, and Seizure,” she says proudly with a grin.
“ Well done, Miss SEAL!” I say and offer her a fist bump.
“ Yep, I ’ m wearing my smarty pants today,” she says with a wink.
“ The unknowns are always the tricky part, and since our thermal imaging from the drone doesn ’ t detect weapons, we have no way of knowing how well-armed these guys are or what kind of arsenal they have on board,” I explain, though I don’t want to linger on the dangerous part of the mission or go into great detail since I know that ’ s what worries Bella the most.
“ But we ’ re assuming that the majority of the people on board this thing are staff and trafficked victims. Our intel suggests the number of hostiles to be around ten or twelve… the patriarch, his three sons, and whatever security team they have. We estimate five or six.”
“ I think that ’ s about as much as I need to know. I ’ m afraid if I know more, it ’ ll only serve to stress me out more,” she says. “ Intellectually speaking, I know you know what you ’ re doing, and you and your teammates are highly trained special operators. Emotionally speaking, however, I ’ m a hot mess.”
I reach over to her, where she’s sitting on the other end of the couch, and take her hand to pull her toward me. She doesn ’ t resist and moves to sit on my lap, her hypnotic blue eyes staring into mine as if silently begging me to reassure her.
“ Bella, ” I say quietly. “ Do you trust me?”
She nods.
“ Then I need you to trust that I ’ ve trained for twelve years to be fully prepared for every mission. I truly believe that we ’ re going to find Harley, and this will be a successful operation. We’ll get in – take command of the situation – and get out. Can you trust me on this?”
She nods again, but I see her eyes misting up.
“ I do trust you, Cole. I just can ’ t lose you again,” she says. She leans in to snuggle against my chest, and I wrap my arms around her to pull her even closer.
We sit in silence like that for several minutes. No words are needed to interpret the connection we ’ re both undoubtedly feeling. And I just want to enjoy the moment and soak in the closeness. After a while, Bella raises her head off my chest to look me in the eyes.
“ I love you, Cole,” she says quietly, and I see streaks of tears on her cheeks. “ I never stopped.”
I don ’ t answer but instead pull her mouth to mine and kiss her with every bit of emotion I can convey without words. Her eager passion matches mine, and as our tongues speak for us and the raw emotions we ’ re feeling, I want to show her how I feel.
I sweep her up in my arms and carry her to the bed.
I can ’ t lose her again.
Ever.