Chapter 8
Thanksgiving dawned under blue skies with a hint of autumn chill in the air outside Sean’s bedroom window.
The scent of a turkey roasting in the oven grabbed his attention.
He’d awakened twenty-one out of twenty-eight Thanksgivings to that smell.
Mom always got up about five in the morning, slid the prepared bird into the oven, and went back to bed.
By the time two p.m. rolled around, Sean, Benjamin, and their dad would be cheering for the Cowboys while the scent of warm spices and homemade bread tried to outdo the bird.
Everything about the morning whispered home, and Sean had to admit that, despite the initial embarrassment of admitting his need for help, he was glad to be there.
Father, thank You for...
He cut off the automatic prayer of gratitude in mid-sentence. Sean was thankful to be home, but he was only home because of all that God had taken from him. Who in their right mind would thank God for that?
My grace is sufficient.
Sean grabbed his phone and fired up a music app.
He might not be able to shut off the voice in his head, but he was becoming a pro at drowning it out.
He changed into a pair of running shorts, a clean T-shirt, and a pair of socks, then crossed the hall to the bathroom.
He could hear Jace talking to himself behind the partially closed door of Benjamin’s old room, but Sean hoped he’d have a few more minutes to himself.
Unfortunately, the moment he lifted his toothbrush, the walls seemed to shake with the outraged wails of a baby who’d been ignored long enough.
At the sound of footsteps, he opened the door and stuck his head out.
Mom was making her way to the makeshift nursery.
She wore jeans and a flour-stained shirt, and her short dark hair was pulled back in a red plastic clip.
Something was smeared on her cheek, and she had the harried cook look that went along with all Sean’s Thanksgiving memories.
“Leave him. I’ll be finished in here in about two minutes. I’ll get him.”
“If you’re sure...” The words were barely out before she twirled and reversed course.
Thirty minutes later, with a freshly dressed Jace in his arms, Sean paused in the kitchen doorway.
His voice was well above a whisper when he spoke to his son.
“And in this room we have the habitat of the Thanksgiving she-beast. Notice the focused look in her eyes as she wields the tools of her species. Pay special attention to the criss-crossed footprints in the flour from her nervous pacing as she prepares sustenance for her mate and their brood.”
Mom laid the rolling pin aside, scooted a pie plate closer, and gently lifted her pie crust. Only after it was centered and placed to her liking did she look up. She used the back of a hand to brush at an errant strand of hair. “Thanksgiving she-beast? Seriously?”
“Jace should learn these things early. It could save his life someday.”
She fought a smile before it finally crossed her face. “Are you done?”
“I made you smile, so my mission is complete.” Sean stepped into the kitchen, brushed his mom’s hair with a kiss as he crossed the room, and settled Jace into the highchair. “What can I make for the brattling’s breakfast that’ll keep me out of your way?”
“I can make a proper breakfast.”
“I don’t think so. You’re making a proper feast.” He opened the pantry and peered inside. “I’ll eat after my run, but he won’t last that long.” He shifted out of the way when his mom reached around him and handed him a box.
“Instant oatmeal. He favors the banana-flavored one.” She handed him a measuring cup. “Use milk not water. Three minutes in the microwave. Watch it so that it doesn’t boil over.”
While Jace banged his spoon on his tray and Mom poured pumpkin pie filling into the dish, Sean watched the bowl turn in the microwave. When the cereal began to bubble up to the lip of the bowl he jabbed the off button, grinning when he opened the door and not a speck of food stained the glass tray.
Mom passed behind him on her way to the regular oven and paused for her own inspection. “Good job. I usually have to clean it when I’m done.”
He added some cold milk to the bowl to help cool it off before reaching for the coffee pot. He poured himself a cup and took a cautious sip of the steaming liquid. He turned with the pot and held it up. “Need a top off?”
“I’m already on my second cup.”
That explained her crazy energy so early in the morning.
He settled in the chair next to Jace and started spooning food into his son’s mouth. “Is there anything I can do to help you today?”
“Aren’t you meeting Monica?”
“Yes, but I can reschedule or be home early if you need me to.” Sean waited for her answer as conflict roiled in his heart. He wanted to spend time with Monica. And he wanted to avoid her.
It was irrational. They’d agreed to be friends and nothing more, but deep down something about this morning’s run whispered betrayal.
Were his small steps back to normal a sign of disloyalty to Brittany, or was this three-steps-forward-two steps-back routine normal?
Mom turned to lean against the counter. “Just keep my adorable grandson out from under my feet. Now that he’s walking, he seems to be everywhere at once.”
The little jolt of excitement told Sean his heart had definitely leaned on the see Monica today side of the argument.
When Jace was finished eating, Sean cleaned him up, eager to get running. And see his new friend. “Good job, little man. You ready to go bye-bye?”
Sean grabbed his son before he could climb out of the chair under his own power.
***
MONICA ARRIVED AT THE park and looked around the sprawling—and empty—parking lot. Thanksgiving might seem like an odd day for an early morning run, but the holiday meant they could take their time. And Monica wanted all the time she could get with Sean and his son.
Despite her efforts to keep her rebellious feelings in check, her crush on Sean burrowed a little deeper into her heart each day. But as unsettled as her feelings for Sean might be, where Jace was concerned, they were crystal clear.
Love, no doubt about it.
She wanted to be there as he grew up. She wanted to protect him from the craziness of the world.
She wanted to be the one to kiss his boo-boos and soothe his hurts.
She had it bad, and she didn’t really care who knew.
Every kid needed a doting aunt, and if honorary aunthood was all she ever had, she could live with that.
Liar.
She squeezed her eyes shut. Who was she trying to kid? She wanted all of those things, but she also wanted to be the one to show Sean that his life hadn’t ended. That he could find love again. That the last year didn’t have to define his future.
That was the thing about lying to yourself—the truth always stood right there beside the lie. And the truth was that she’d have none of those things with Sean and Jace if she followed her dreams to Arizona.
But also, she might not have those things if she stayed here.
Monica leaned her head against the steering wheel, her prayer a whisper.
“Jesus, You know my heart. I want a husband and a family and all the things that come with them. But I don’t want to get ahead of You.
I really felt like You were opening this door to Arizona, now I’m not sure.
I know You have a plan for my life. Could You please let me in on some of the details? ”
A tap on the window had Monica’s eyes popping wide. Her hand flew over her heart as she whipped her face toward the window.
Sean stood on the other side of the glass, Jace already strapped into the stroller.
How long had he been there? She was grateful for the glass that separated them. If he’d heard her prayer...
He didn’t...he couldn’t have...just breathe.
Monica took the advice and filled her lungs with cool air. She exhaled all the uncertainty, focused on the moment, and opened her door.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” Sean took a step back. “Were you asleep?”
She climbed out of the car. “No...just daydreaming. Have you been here long?”
“Nope. Just got here.”
Monica stooped down beside the stroller. “Hello, handsome. You ready to run?”
Jace clapped his hands and answered her with a long string of indecipherable gibberish.
“Really?” She looked up at Sean. “Wow. I’ll take it to my grave. Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“You’re gonna tell me that you understood that?”
Monica stood. “Of course. Didn’t you?”
Sean’s raised brows invited her to continue.
“Sorry, I’ve been sworn to secrecy.”
“You’re both goofy. Are you ready?”
Monica looked back down at Jace. “Will he be warm enough?”
Sean pulled a windscreen into place over the baby. “Absolutely.”
“Then catch me if you can.” Monica sprinted across the grass and onto the track.
“Cheater!” Sean called behind her.
She was several yards away before she slowed her pace and allowed Sean to catch up.
“I wasn’t aware we were racing.”
“Just having some fun with you.” She nudged him out of the way and took over the stroller. “I’ll push while you catch your breath.”
Sean surrendered control. “I like you, Monica Jenson. You’re full of surprises.”
Monica kept her eyes straight ahead as every nerve ending in her body sprang to life. Oh, she could give him a surprise, all right.
The next hour was a combination of running and jogging, which left little breath for conversation. They took turns pushing Jace, and when Monica took a look through the windscreen after the first two-mile lap, she saw that he was sound asleep.
“He snoozing?”
Monica managed a chuckle. “You’d think he was the one getting a workout.”
“The motion puts him to sleep every time.” Sean quickened his pace. “Come on, two more laps to go.”
Monica matched his stride and the rest of their run passed in silence. At the end of the last lap, she veered off the track and collapsed onto a bench.