Chapter 15 #2
Monica was one of the sweetest women he’d ever met.
She’d been a trooper today, sorting through boxes, organizing his kitchen, and then participating in a shopping trip he hadn’t known about.
Putting up a Christmas tree went above and beyond.
He was beginning to understand that was who she was. She’d meant it as a pleasant surprise.
It had been a very unpleasant shock.
Seeing the tree decorated with all of Brittany’s treasured ornaments had magnified the fact of her absence. In that split second, it was as if a spotlight had shone over the last year and every moment that she’d missed. Sean hadn’t wanted to be rude to Monica, but she’d gone too far.
He knew what she’d been thinking. She was a sweetheart who was trying to make his house a home.
He needed to talk to her and sort this out.
He wasn’t about to react with the stupid anger that’d broken their friendship before.
The two weeks they’d spent avoiding each other had been torture.
That wasn’t something he wanted to relive.
When Jace was asleep, Sean tiptoed from the room and pulled the door almost closed.
He entered the kitchen. “I’m sorry, I—”
“—I’m sorry, I—”
They both sputtered to a stop. Sean took the seat she’d chosen for him and took her hand. “If you’ll let me go first,” he said, “we probably won’t need your apology.”
Monica dropped her gaze to their joined hands. “OK.”
“Look at me.” Sean squeezed her hand to reinforce his request. When she complied, his heart ached at the sheen of tears that brightened the sapphire of her eyes.
“I’m sorry I acted the way I did. As you know, sometimes I can be a jerk.
” He chose her word, and her lip tipped up at the corner. “Come with me.”
He led her to the tree, still holding her hand.
“Christmas and ornaments were Brittany’s favorite things.
” With his free hand, he stroked one of the ornaments.
It was a snow-covered Ferris wheel. “She bought this one not long after we got engaged.” He bit his lip as the memory came into focus.
“We were at a fair. I’d asked the guy operating the ride to stop us at the top for a second.
While we sat there with the world at our feet, I proposed.
” The next ornament he touched was a Christmas tree made out of blue dolphins.
“She bought this one on our honeymoon in Cozumel, where we swam with the dolphins.” The next was a polar bear eating an ice cream cone.
He drew in a sharp breath at the memory it invoked.
“This one represents our first date. We went to see Dolittle and had ice cream.”
Monica took the time to study the tree she’d decorated. “Are they all memories?”
“Not all, but most. Flea markets, garage sales, Christmas festivals, craft shows, souvenir hunting... If she found ornaments, she could find one or six that represented our life together.”
“I had no idea.”
“No way you could have. But the thing is, nobody has touched the ornaments for a couple of years. Last year she was so sick...” Sean’s voice cracked and he tried to swallow back the emotion.
“She was so sick that the tree never made it out of the box. I tried to decorate before we moved and didn’t get very far.
So when I stepped in here and saw what you’d done, it was a little overwhelming. I didn’t handle it very well.”
“I was trying to help. I figured you wouldn’t have time, what with the unpacking and the new job. I didn’t mean... I’m sorry. Do you want me to take it down?”
“Absolutely not. I need to learn to live with the memories, and Jace deserves to know this side of his mother. I owe you thanks, not my temper.”
Sean pulled Monica into a hug, speaking into her hair. “I like you, Monica, more than a little. I’m not sure I’m ready for a new relationship, and I don’t deserve you, but if you’ll hang in there with me, I really want to see where this goes.”
Monica took a tiny step back, putting just enough space between them so that she could look up at him.
Her eyes were captivating in the twinkling lights, and Sean found himself sinking into their blue depths just as surely as if he’d gone overboard into the ocean.
She opened her mouth to speak, but he put a finger over her lips.
“I want, very much, to kiss you.”
Monica didn’t speak. She just closed her eyes and leaned in.
Sean took her lips tenderly at first, but as the kiss deepened, he found himself wanting more.
The fact that she fit against him like the missing half of his soul nearly spun him out of control.
He broke off the kiss but still held her close, his heart pounding in his chest. He hadn’t been prepared to feel such longing.
It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.
“I apologized for being rude earlier. I hope you won’t take what I’m about to say as more bad manners, but I need you to leave.” He needed to get her out of here before he was guilty of more than rudeness.
Monica chuckled against his shirt, her voice breathless.
“I think I get where you’re coming from.
I’ll get while the getting is good.” She stepped away from him and didn’t stop until she was by the front door, sliding into her coat.
“I have my last fundraiser tomorrow afternoon. I can probably find some last-minute details I need to take care of tonight.”
Sean stayed rooted to his spot by the tree. “Anything I can do to help tomorrow?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Can I see you tomorrow night?”
“I’d like that.”
When she reached for the doorknob, Sean finally crossed the room to hold the door for her. Despite the cold, he waited until she climbed into her car. He was still watching as her taillights faded into the distance.
He’d just kissed a woman who wasn’t Brittany and enjoyed it. A lot. He examined himself and realized the guilt he’d felt after last time wasn’t there.
Maybe his future held more than sorrow.
I have good things for you, son. The last year wasn’t meant to destroy you. There is a greater anointing and a deeper intimacy ahead if you will follow Me.
Sean closed his eyes as the words bubbled up from his soul. Oh, how he wanted to believe what he was hearing, but how could he trust an unseen future to the God who’d willingly wrecked his past?