Chapter 18 #2
Activity had always been her drug of choice, but maybe more activity wasn’t the thing she needed right now. Maybe what she needed was to be still and focus on what God had to say about the situation.
She sat on one of the kitchen chairs and bowed her head.
“Father, I’m so grateful to You. Even when I mess things up, You’re always there to lift me above it.
Forgive me for the times I’ve let that truth escape me, and give me the grace I need to accept Your plan and Your will in everything I do.
Help me make meaningful decisions, not impulsive ones.
I want to work with You, not just for You.
Help me understand the difference.” She paused and swallowed as she was forced to admit that the first thing she needed to do was stop racing here and there and start watching for the opportunities that God sent her way.
“I’m sorry, Father. It’s not just the January event I’ve messed up.
Dad’s gone and I can’t please him anymore, but You’re still here and nothing means more to me than pleasing You.
Direct my path. Help me find Your purpose for my life.
You gave me a heart to work, let me use it for You in everything I choose to do.
“Please go before me on Monday. I have to talk to Nicholas and Kate. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but You do. I can’t fix this, Lord. I can’t roll up my sleeves and scrub away the problem I’ve created. I leave it in Your hands. Give me the strength not to snatch it back.”
She lifted her head feeling lighter than she’d felt all morning.
No, than she’d felt in...years. Her father had expected her to work for his love. No, he’d never said that, but that was how she’d taken it. Maybe if he’d lived longer, she’ d have learned this lesson long ago. Instead, she’d held on to the Daddy who’d praised her hard work.
But her Heavenly Father loved her no matter what. Even now, after she’d muffed this event so badly, He loved her. She could rest in that.
And it was Christmas Eve! She had a date with Sean tonight, Jace would be there in all of his cuteness, and she had cookies to bake. Not because she’d promised. Not because anyone needed her to contribute, but just because she wanted to.
The thought brightened her mood even more. Her heart was totally engaged with Sean and Jace, and she wanted to see where this budding relationship was going.
Would she have been able to leave them for the job with Matthew Wright? She didn’t have an answer for that question and now, she wouldn’t need one.
Life was good, even in the middle of disappointment.
***
SEAN PUT HIS HANDS over his ears to block out the sound of Jace’s pounding colorful shapes into a wooden work bench with a hammer. He’d had a nice, quiet day. He should have enjoyed it more.
He looked up from his place on the sofa next to Monica. When he caught his mother’s eye, he hollered, “You meant that gift to stay here, didn’t you?”
Mom’s smile was sly. “Only if you take that infernal motorcycle home when you leave tonight. An even trade, one noise-maker for the other.”
Benjamin, dressed in blue jeans, a red sweater, and a red Santa hat complete with white trim picked up another box from under the tree and approached their father. The box was on the small side, and Sean couldn’t wait to see Dad’s expression. He and Benjamin had collaborated on the gift.
Benjamin stopped in front Dad’s chair and held the box over his head. “Ho ho ho. Have you been a good boy this year?”
“Good enough to control the rest of the packages under the tree. I did see a few with your name on them.” He sat back with a smug smile. “I don’t get mine, you don’t get yours.”
Santa looked at their mother. “Mom,” he whined, “Dad’s not playing fair.” But, he handed over the gift. He looked as eager as Sean felt.
After checking the tag, Dad ripped the wrapping off the package, opened the lid, and pulled out a plastic car. He studied it closely before giving Sean and Benjamin a puzzled expression. “I think I must be missing something.”
“It’s a car,” Benjamin said.
“I can see that.”
“Not just any car,” Sean said. “It’s a Lamborghini.”
The colorful car had distracted Jace from his pounding. He reached for it, and his grandfather handed it over. He looked at Santa/Benjamin. “You’re sure that had my name on it?”
“Maybe you should see if there’s something else in the box.”
Dad made a show of pulling wads of tissue paper from the otherwise empty box. When he reached the bottom, he found an envelope taped inside. He pulled it free and held it up to the light. “Not thick enough to be the wad of cash I asked for. Not plastic enough to be a gift card.”
“Open it up already,” Mom demanded.
He lifted the flap of the envelope and pulled out a sheet of paper. His mouth moved as he read, but before he got halfway to the bottom, a smile split his face. “Boys, you bought me a race car?”
Sean laughed, “Not exactly. It’s a racing experience at the Texas Motor Speedway. The day will include a racing class, all the gear you need, and four laps around the track behind the wheel of a Lamborghini.”
Benjamin took up the explanation. “You’ve always said that you wanted a Lamborghini. This is as close as we could get. Merry Christmas.”
Dad scrambled to his feet and held out his arms. Sean joined his brother, and they stepped into his embrace. He thumped their backs. “I think that’s gonna win best gift for the evening.”
Sean took a step back and took up a position next to the tree.
“You might wanna hold your thought on that. I have something for the whole family.” His gaze skimmed them, then landed on Monica.
“That includes you, by the way. I tried to find a way to wrap it but...” He shrugged.
“I’m just going to tell you.” He slid his hands into his jeans pockets, rocked back on his heels, and took a deep breath.
“Last night I rededicated my life to the Lord.”
His statement was met with shocked silence. He’d expected something. He continued.
“I know I’ve been a bit of a jerk about attending church and defensive about giving up my ministry.
I want to apologize to everyone. I still intend to start my new job in January, but I’ll be looking for ministry opportunities as well.
I want God’s will for this next season in my life. For every season.”
While Jace raced the toy Lamborghini around the room his parents reclaimed their seats, and Benjamin perched on the edge of the chair where Kinsley sat.
Sean pulled an envelope out of his pocket and held out a hand to Monica. She started to take it, but he pulled it back, taking her hand to keep her with him.
He faced her. “When I told you that I couldn’t face Matthew, you let it go.
” He felt the rest of his family’s inquisitive stares but didn’t explain.
Monica knew what he meant, and right now, that was all that mattered.
“You let it go, but God wouldn’t. You remember I told you that I was busy with something until late last night? ”
She nodded, confusion in her eyes.
“I went to Phoenix yesterday.”
She covered her lips with her fingertips. “Sean.” The word was barely more than a breath.
He handed her the envelope. “Go ahead and open it up.”
Her hands shook as she peeled back the flap. It took three tries before she could get her fingers to close around the single sheet of paper. She pulled it free, unfolded it, and gasped.
It was an invoice with Matthew Wright’s logo in the upper right corner. It listed the January event and at the bottom... PAID IN FULL.
Monica raised her eyes to Sean’s. “I don’t understand.”
Sean took the paper and passed it to his mom. “You guys look while I tell you a story.” Starting with the canceled photo session, he detailed the circumstances surrounding his trip. By the time he came to the part of actually standing in Matthew’s office, Monica was in tears.
He took her hands in his. What he saw shining in her eyes went beyond tears or gratitude.
“I went there to ask him to give you a little more time to gather your funds. Instead, he’s speaking at the vet center next month at no cost. He told me to tell you to put the money you’ve raised toward another cause. And also, he said, ‘Merry Christmas.’”
Monica took a whole second to digest Sean’s news. “You said you couldn’t. So why...?”
“Because I love you.” As the words came out of him, the truth of them engulfed him.
He didn’t care that his whole family was watching. His heart shifted, his love for Brittany settling into a place that would be there forever. He didn’t have to choose one to have the other. “I didn’t think I’d ever be able to say those words to a woman again, but you showed me how.”
Monica threw herself into his arms. “I love you too!” She plastered her lips to his, and making his prediction to Matthew a reality.
If this was the reward for making her happy, he’d be looking for ways to do that every day for the rest of his life.