Chapter Twenty Two #3
‘And like the anticipated leaves, there are many words left waiting to be spoken. Caroline, can you find it in your heart to forgive me?’
‘Whatever for?’ I asked.
He took a step closer and pulled me to him.
‘I’m so sorry I didn’t write … I wanted to very much, but I wasn’t certain if it was the right thing to do. I thought I should set you free to find your life back in London, and I realised far too late that I really wished I’d behaved differently.’
‘Oh, Harry, none of that matters now … there’s nothing to forgive, truly.’
‘I’m so happy you came back to Bath, even if it’s only for a short while.’
‘And I can’t tell you how thrilled I was when I heard you’d written to Piers. Thank you for saying what was in your heart.’
‘May I say what’s in my heart now?’
Harry tilted my head towards him, and ran a finger over my lips. I couldn’t speak as those blue eyes pierced mine to the depths of my being.
‘I want to kiss you,’ he said.
The rest of the day was so perfect that if I close my eyes I can see it as a series of snapshots - Harry stealing kisses in the cool of the pine trees, standing on the breathtaking Palladian bridge watching the swans on the lake below, wandering back along wooded paths holding hands, and wishing time would stand still.
And since that glorious day, time has rushed by as if it’s speeding up like a runaway train slicing through the countryside going as fast as it can in the opposite direction.
Every day has been filled with wonderful moments - seeing Elsa and spending time with her, and being with Harry as much as humanly possible.
Ellen has been lovely, insisting that I go out every day and even in the evenings, while she and Roger have been making their own entertainment.
Harry has taken me to the cinema, the theatre, and to all the museums. We’ve strolled past Jane’s house in Sydney Place, and wandered in the gardens opposite.
There have been walks up to Beechen Cliff following in Catherine Morland’s footsteps with Henry Tilney, and up to Camden Place like Anne Elliot and Captain Wentworth in Persuasion.
I’m feeling fitter and happier than I’ve ever been before - I want to stop the world revolving to enjoy every moment, but there is no sign of it slowing down.
Two weeks have flown by, and I shall be going home tomorrow.
I haven’t even had a chance to look at Jane’s journal, my mind and every waking thought have been filled with Harry, and all my hours spent in his company.
In any case, to read Jane’s journal is to risk being taken into her world or that of Cassy’s, and I’ve no wish to gamble with the time we have left.
***
Harry said he’d pick me up in the evening, though he wouldn’t tell me anything about where we were going or what we were doing.
It was awful thinking it would be our last evening together, but at the same time it was very exciting.
I couldn’t think of anyone in the world I’d rather be spending time with, and I wanted to savour every last moment we had.
I took my time getting ready, picking out one of my own designs to wear, a long romantic dress in tiers with small flowers dotted all over the fabric, and lace across the top of the bodice.
I ran a bath and filled it with bath salts from the glass container on the shelf.
Soaking in the water, watching the steam rising into the cooler air was both relaxing and stimulating, especially when I thought over the events of the last couple of weeks.
There’s nothing like having a bath for thinking over problems or pleasures, and topping it up with more hot water is blissful.
Harry had given me the rest of a chocolate box we’d shared at the theatre, as we hadn’t got round to eating many of them.
As I lay basking in the hot scented water I sucked three chocolates in a row, letting the velvety texture melt on my tongue while contemplating every single moment of every enjoyment of the day before, and of the ones to come.
I washed my hair with scented shampoo, used the best Floris soap, and tried to time it so the water didn’t go too cold before I needed to get out.
Rushing down the corridor wrapped in towels, I hoped my hair would dry before I had to go out.
Flinging the door open in my haste, I was into the room before I realised that my whole world was changed in a moment.
At the sudden realisation that I was once again no longer in the time I wished to be, I tried desperately to turn in an attempt to change it.
But time slowed down so every movement was impossible.
The door seemed to retreat further and further away with every step of mine becoming more laboured.
And then as it loomed in front of me, just as suddenly, the door slammed firmly before I could step through it.
And, though I was sure I’d banged my head very badly, in the next moment it was clear I was still in one piece, if not quite myself.