Chapter Twenty Seven #2
That was perfectly true, now I thought about it.
I didn’t say very much though I wanted to question Harry more about the whole incident.
It just seemed very strange to hear of the constant bickering between his aunt and uncle and not imagine the very worst. Had it all been a wicked plot by his irascible uncle to be rid of his wife?
I’d only met him for five minutes and it was clear he had mixed feelings about the women in his life.
But, as soon as those thoughts popped into my head, I knew I must get rid of them. What could I be thinking?
‘I can understand now why your uncle didn’t want to see you,’ I said. ‘Being with you and Elsa must have reminded him of happier times, but also brought back the awful pain of the past.’
‘Yes, I think you’re right. And without my aunt, my cousin grew up without the love he should have had.
My uncle became very depressed, he was drinking far too much, and as my cousin grew older he just copied his father’s ways.
It’s such a terrible tragedy … their lives should have been so different. ’
‘You said your cousin died at an early age.’
‘Yes, he was drinking, as I say, and when they recovered his body, it had been washed up further along the coast. No one’s ever said it, but I’ve always thought he probably ended it …
perhaps he wanted to join his mother … but no one knows for sure.
The verdict was accidental death brought on by excessive alcohol consumption, but I don’t know. I just wish I’d been here to help him.’
My eyes filled with tears. ‘Sometimes there’s nothing we can do, and in this case it was impossible for you to intervene. Your family tried to reach out to your uncle, you told me yourself. You did all you could.’
Harry turned on the path, and took my hand. ‘Caroline, you are the sweetest, kindest girl I’ve ever known, but I’m not sure I will ever forgive myself for not being here when he needed me.’
‘But, you shouldn’t dwell on what can’t be changed.
I’m sure somewhere they’ve both found their peace, and that they know you love them.
You must feel that too, in that state of consciousness where all things seem possible.
I know my dad is with me sometimes; I just get this incredible feeling of love washing over me.
I’m sure you had it just now when you were thinking of your aunt and your cousin. ’
‘I did, and you’re right, I do get the sense of them sometimes, that their life force, whatever you want to call it, hasn’t gone forever.’
‘They certainly wouldn’t want you to be blaming yourself for anything that was absolutely nothing to do with you.
It was the most terrible thing that could ever have happened, but you must put that aside and think only of the good times you shared.
Let’s finish saying our goodbyes and you can tell me all about the wonderful times you spent together. ’
The rest of the afternoon flew by. We finished our walk down to the pretty harbour where the boats were bobbing on the choppy water.
Randolph lunged in and out of the sea, drenching us each time as he shook his huge frame, making us laugh.
The sun was hot for the beginning of May, and I took my sweater off and tied it round my waist. We bought some cockles from a seafood stall, doused them in vinegar and ate them with toothpicks, savouring each morsel that tasted of the sea.
I started to feel happiness flood my being once more.
Though Harry chose not to hold my hand, he seemed so much happier, especially when telling me about his holidays in the past. We took a walk along the sands, taking our shoes off so we could feel the sand between our toes.
***
Harry, Elsa and I dined in the breakfast room again, as they both said the dining room was on the north side of the castle and always felt cold.
The breakfast room had the best views out to sea, and with such lovely company I felt there wasn’t anywhere else in the world I’d rather be.
I still felt Harry seemed particularly reserved, leaving most of the talking to Elsa as Mrs Davies brought us plates of sauté potatoes and fried cod that she said had been freshly caught that day.
When she came to clear the plates, bringing a pudding of Apricot Cobbler with a jug of custard, she said there was a fire in the drawing room when we were ready to relax.
The room was on the same side of the castle with large bay windows displaying a panoramic sunset in pink and gold, which looked truly spectacular.
Though the day had been sunny, the chill of the night air was descending as the sun dipped behind the indigo sea, and we were all glad of the fire.
I sat in an armchair filled with flowered cushions, faded with time into pastels of pink and green.
Harry poured himself a whisky, while Elsa and I said we’d have a glass of crème de menthe. I could see and feel that he was withdrawing again, staring absently into the fire as he sat in the opposite chair.
‘We could play Monopoly,’ suggested Elsa from the sofa, ‘until I have to go upstairs to my uncle, though I should warn you, Caroline, that Harry always cheats.’
‘I only cheat when I have to,’ he answered light-heartedly, coming out of his quiet thoughts for a moment, ‘but I’ll be on my best behaviour, I swear.’
‘I made a promise to visit your uncle … I ought to go before it’s too late,’ I said, looking at Harry, hoping he’d come with me, but he was looking vaguely into the fire again, as if a hundred miles away.
Randolph lay by his side, whimpering now and again, looking up at Harry, as if they shared secret thoughts.
‘I’ll come with you, if you like,’ said Elsa, putting down her glass. ‘I really ought to think about going up there, anyway. We can play a game tomorrow if it rains, as the forecast is suggesting.’
I felt very disappointed, and said goodnight to Harry before getting up to follow Elsa out of the room. He just managed to answer but I could tell there was something still bothering him, and the feeling I’d had before of something not being right came back even stronger.
We entered the room without knocking because Elsa said her uncle might be asleep, and that he hated to be woken up.
The room was quite dark, lit only by a bedside lamp throwing Geraint’s face into vast planes of light and shade, highlighting his drawn features, the hollows of his eyes, and his cheekbones where the skin was stretched like thin, yellow parchment.
There was an armchair on one side of the bed, which Elsa invited me to sit in, and a hard bentwood chair on the other where she sat, folding her hands and smiling at me.
‘He’ll wake up in a minute,’ she whispered, and all at once his eyes flew open so that I jumped out of my skin. They were wild and staring, and I couldn’t help feeling alarmed.
‘Who’s there?’ he said, clutching at the bedclothes.
‘It’s just Elsa, Uncle,’ she said in a calm voice. ‘I’ve brought Caroline along as you requested.’
He turned his head, and for the first time I noticed how very white and sharp his teeth looked as he grinned, until I told myself it must be the lamplight. I decided there and then I wouldn’t read any more of Dracula late at night - it simply wasn’t good for my imagination.