33. Second Chance Serenity
“So anyways, that’s the gist of what I do. How about you?”
I smile at the handsome man across from me, appreciating that this entire time we’ve been out to eat, he’s been attentive, kind, and charming…so why can’t I feel anything beyond base attraction? Why can’t my stomach fill with butterflies, or my legs go weak?
“I’m a principal at the school,” I tell him. “We’re a K-12, so I oversee kids as young as five and as old as eighteen.”
“Sounds exciting.”
“It’s never dull, that’s for sure.” I take a bite of the chocolate cake in front of me. Years of dating. Of searching for anything that even mildly resembles the spark I feel for—No, Reyna. I shove thoughts of Michael Anderson out of my head.
Liam Hollander is handsome, stable, looking for a partner, and would probably never leave me the month before we’re going to get married so he can go off and start a new life.
“You grew up in Hope Springs, right? Do you have any family here?”
“My parents,” I tell him with a smile. “My brother lives in Boston with his wife and kids. He’s a prosecutor for the city.”
“Nice. Do you see him often?”
“Once a month,” I reply. “We get together for dinner. Alternating who makes the weekend trip. Sometimes they come here, other times we go there.”
“Your brother is older?”
I nod. “Three years. How about you? Do you have any siblings?”
He shakes his head. “Only child. My parents both live in New Jersey. I see them once every few months.”
“What brought you to Hope Springs?” He moved here only a few months ago, and runs a remote finance management company from his house. It had been the buzz of town for a while, and Mrs. McGinley actually arranged a meeting for the both of us, without us realizing it until we both suddenly had to get to the library to pick up a book she’d ordered for us.
The woman is a lovable menace.
“I wanted a fresh start. I’d lived in Jersey my entire childhood, then spent some time in Philly. After that, I knew I wanted a small town, and after my mom shoved a book in my hand and told me the author was from here, I decided to come visit. I’ve been wanting to write one, myself.”
“Who is the author?”
“Eliza Knight. Do you know her?”
Why does it make my stomach churn? I adore Eliza. We attend a girls dinner once a month together. But since she’s married to Michael’s boss, and close friends with him, that makes our relationship…well…complicated.“She’s really sweet. Married to a guy who runs a security company in town.”
“Yes! I’ve been trying to come up with a way to introduce myself, just to get my copy of her book signed and pick her brain over the route she took with her publishing journey, but I’m not entirely sure how to do it without coming across as creepy.”
I smile, because it’s honestly so ridiculously innocent, that it makes my heart melt just a bit for him. Michael wouldn’t have hesitated to introduce himself. The man is a bull in a china shop, never fearing anything. “I would be happy to introduce the two of you.”
“Really?” His expression lights up like a kid on Christmas morning.
“Sure thing. She’s doing a reading at the?—”
“Library tomorrow,” he says with a nod. “I was planning to attend. I’m sorry, this is weird isn’t it? It’s weird. I’m a big book nerd and my mom loves her stuff so?—”
I reach over the table without thinking and close my hand over his.
He smiles warmly, attraction burning in his gaze. Man, I wish I felt the same. “Not weird,” I tell him. “It’s kind. And since I was planning to attend the reading, too, I will happily introduce you afterward.”
“That would be great. So great. Now that you know I’m a big reader, tell me about your hobbies. What do you do when you’re not at school?” Liam asks.
“I like to hike,” I tell him. “Bake sourdough, and volunteer whenever I can.”
“Sourdough? That sounds delicious.”
“It is. There’s so much you can do with it. Dessert bread, Italian loaves, bagels, sandwiches,” I reply, realizing suddenly that I’m more passionate about baking bread than I am about this date. And that realization makes me feel terrible. He’s being sweet and I can’t stop comparing him to the man who left me over a decade ago.
“I’d love to try some sometime.”
“Sure.” I smile, then check the time. “I really should be going, though, I have budget reports to finalize before tomorrow.”
“Oh, of course. I’m sorry.” He reaches into his pocket and sets some bills on top of the check, then stands and offers me his hand.
I slide mine into his, hoping for a zing. A zap. A connection of any kind—but get none. God, why can’t I find someone—anyone—else?
“Are you okay?” he asks, brow furrowing.
“Yes. Sorry. Mind on work. It happens this time of year.” School starts in just over a month, and I’ve had to hire three new teachers, while also managing to squeeze in a new arts program for our middle grades. The budget will be stretched to the max, but with some strategically placed fundraisers, we should squeeze by just fine.
“No problem.” He walks me out of the small, Italian restaurant that sits on the water near the edge of town, then leans in to kiss my cheek. “Can I call you tomorrow?”
“Of course. I look forward to it.”
After saying my goodbyes, I climb into the car and lean my head on the steering wheel. Liam didn’t grow up here, which means that he doesn’t have any idea who Michael is. Which means, he is practically the last available man in Hope Springs willing to give a relationship with me a try.
The other few that are left grew up with Michael, and don’t want to do anything that would risk taking his wrath. Pathetic really. Though, I suppose since Michael was a prodigy boxer and star quarterback, I can understand on some level.
Even if it infuriates me.
Michael.Ugh. Ruining my life without even trying. He’s always around. At the school, helping decorate for functions. Volunteering as an assistant football coach during the season. Giving boxing tutorials as extra-curricular after school events.
Michael.
Michael.
Michael.
I swallow hard and lean back in my seat, taking a deep, steadying breath. Well, I guess that’s it. I’m just going to have to settle for a minimal connection or die alone. Who knows, maybe not having a blood-searing, soul-deep romance will be better. After all, the last thing I want is to give someone else the power to break me the same way Michael did…right?
* * *
By the timedawn rolls around, I’ve managed to finalize all of my budget reports, set up our first meeting of the school year, and finish planning the annual fundraising ball for the women and children’s shelter in Boston.
The sun rises above the water, casting the ocean in glorious shades of orange and gold. Body slick with a thin layer of sweat from the four miles I’ve run this morning, I stand on the beach, overlooking God’s masterpiece as he paints the early morning.
I’m always filled with such hope when dawn rolls around. Like today, anything is possible. Today, I can let go of the ghosts of my past—at least momentarily—and focus only on the dawn of a new day.
“Morning.”
His voice washes over me like acid rain. I turn and face Michael Anderson, a former Army Ranger and the man who broke my heart when we’d been eighteen. He stands a few feet away from me, wearing shorts, and a loose tank top.
He’s barefoot, as he always is whenever he runs, and his dark obsidian hair is curly thanks to the humidity and sweat from exercise. Why does he have to be so beautiful?
“Morning.” My response is curt, and I don’t wait around for him to try and talk to me more as I turn and head back up the beach. I need to shower, get to the hospital for my volunteer hours, then get home in time to start baking for the first school board meeting of the year.
Unfortunately, Michael falls into step beside me. “Sleep well?”
“Fine.”
“Busy day?”
“Yup.” As always, I keep my responses short, but as usual, Michael doesn’t seem to care.
“Me, too. Just got back into town and I’ve got some paperwork to catch up on.”
“Good for you.”
“Reyna—”
“What do you want, Michael? I’m busy.” Stopping, I turn to face him and cross both arms. It hurts to look at him, like staring into the sun. Because he was that for me for so long. My light. My everything. And he’d thrown it all away without a second glance.
“I just—” He runs a hand over the back of his hair. “I miss talking to you.”
“Then you should have thought about that before you left town.”
“Are you ever going to not hate me?”
“I don’t hate you, Michael. I just want nothing to do with you. Have a good day.” I turn away from him and start running down the beach, hoping that my past stays exactly where it belongs—behind me.
* * *