Chapter 40
With Robby on his way back from a long day of meetings in London, Nina was on her way to drinks at the lighthouse. She’d worked out that if the baby came on time it was probably going to be one of her last attendances at the drinks for a while. As she got closer to the lighthouse, its appearance in the twilight took her breath away as it glinted against the sky. She smiled as she thought about when she’d not been in Lovely Bay very long and had found herself at the top of the lighthouse looking out over the gorgeous view. Things had got better from there where the lighthouse was concerned; she’d first kissed Robby there and he’d proposed to her there, too. Not too bad as life goals went. The lighthouse was an important part of her story. It ran through her mind that she’d have to add a lighthouse reference somewhere in the baby’s name.
As she got to the hall, Nancy was flitting around organising, Colin and Clive were standing talking to Alice, and Birdie was by the drinks table chatting with Cally. Making her way to get a drink, Nina smiled at the Shipping Forecast coming from Birdie’s shoulder and said hello.
Cally smiled. ‘Hey, look at you blooming for England. You’re making it look very, very easy.’
Nina shook her head. ‘I don’t know about blooming. I’m waddling at the moment. I feel like the size of a house.’
Cally laughed. ‘How are you feeling?’
Nina shrugged. ‘Ready and not ready, you know? It”s all becoming very real.’
Birdie chimed in. ‘Not long now. Make sure you”re resting enough. The last weeks can be tiring.’
Nina nodded. ‘I”ve been taking it easy, don”t worry. But it feels good to be out and about, seeing everyone. I think this might be my last lighthouse event for a while.’
‘We’ll still be here when you come back,’ Cally noted.
‘It”s going to be strange not coming, but I”ll be back at some point, baby in tow.’
Birdie laughed. ‘We”ll have to have a little celebration when you do come back. Baby”s first lighthouse visit!’
‘This place means a lot to me, actually. I was thinking that as I waddled along.’
Nancy made her way over, balancing a tray of nibbles, her eyes twinkled as she chatted. ‘How are you holding up?’
‘I”m doing well,’ Nina replied, picking up a mini sausage roll. ‘Just trying to enjoy these last few moments of calm before the storm.’
Nancy laughed. ‘As you do. Oh, it will be a beautiful storm, though, I reckon.’
Cally nodded. ‘It will all be worth it when you see that little face smiling at you.’
Birdie agreed. ‘We”re all here for you, ready to help however we can. It takes a village…’
Nina joked. ‘Aww. Moving to Lovely Bay and finding you ugly lot was the best decision of my life.’
Nancy nodded. ‘It was. What about your hospital bag? Is it ready? You know, they say the first one can be unpredictable though usually late.’
‘All set and waiting by the door. Robby made sure of that. He’s probably more nervous than I am!’
Birdie beamed. ‘Our Robby”s going to be a wonderful dad. I honestly cannot wait to see this.’
Nancy agreed. ‘Totes. Me too.’
‘Anyway, I reckon I’ve got a good while yet. I’ve had no signs of movement at all. Not a sausage. I’ve resigned myself to getting bigger by the day until she decides she’s had enough.’
Birdie laughed. ‘She’s obviously way too cosy in there.’
Most people had finished up at the lighthouse, apart from a few stragglers down the back by the drinks table. Nina had helped to clear up with Birdie and Cally, and now the three of them were standing by the kitchen area with a cup of tea.
Nina and Cally chatted about Cally”s grandma, who was in her final days. The whole conversation swelled around Nina”s head, making her think about the circle of life.
Nancy approached them and she gestured upwards with the thumb of her right hand. ‘The lighthouse is open if you fancy going up before I go and close up. If you think you can make it up there in your condition,’ Nancy joked.
Nina rolled her eyes, ‘I”m not sure about that. I think you”ll need a hoist to get me up there. It’s so pretty up there, though…’
‘Totally up to you.’
Nina considered it. ‘The view from up there must be astounding on a night like this.’
Nancy nodded. ‘It is indeed. I”ve just been up there, and it”s such a clear night. You can see for miles, and with the moonlight on the sea, it really is breathtaking this evening. And that”s from someone who grew up here and has seen it many times.’
‘That”s some recommendation,’ Nina answered.
Cally looked at Nina”s bump. ‘You think you can make it? It’s a lot of steps.’
‘Shouldn’t be a problem. I think I can do it. I”ll just have to stop a couple of times. I am getting a bit out of breath at the moment.’ Nina patted her bump. ‘It might get things moving. They say exercise can do it, that and plenty of curries.’
‘Come on, then. Are you coming, Cally?’ Nancy asked.
Cally shook her head. ‘Actually, I think I’m going to head off. I need to get back.’
‘Okay, alright. See you later then. Hope everything is okay with your grandma.’
A few minutes later, Nina was on the stairs being followed by Nancy. She stopped for a breather and looked up the spiral stairs going up to the top and remembered when it had been filled with candles for Robby’s proposal. Even without being dressed up for a proposal, the staircase didn’t disappoint.
As she held onto the old, worn, timber handrail and heaved herself up the brilliant white interior as the walls curved upwards, she couldn’t wait to get to the top to have a nose at the view. Her footsteps bounced off the walls, and as she went past a porthole window and looked out, she felt as if with each step she took, she was heading up to another ethereal world – one that lived way up over the rooftops of Lovely.
By the time Nina got to the top of the lighthouse, she was most definitely out of breath and her sides heaved with each inhale. She leaned against the curved wall for a second, taking a moment to catch her breath. Her size and the baby made breathing feel like a workout. She rested her hands on her bump for a second and waited to return to normal as her heart thumped. Putting her hands on the small of her back, she shifted so that the cool sea air from the open window wafted over her.
Nancy put her hand on Nina”s shoulder. ‘Are you okay? I”m not sure if this was a good idea or not.’
‘Yes, I”m fine. Just a bit breathless, you know?’
‘Yes, I see. No, I don’t actually know what it’s like to be pregnant.’ Nancy joked.
‘I didn’t think I would know either.’ Nina gestured out the window and let out a sigh. ‘It was worth heaving myself up here. How amazing does it all look this evening? Really beautiful.’
‘Yes, I know. I told you it was nice tonight. It’s such a clear evening, isn’t it? Look at all those stars starting to come out.’
‘So nice to see it without a cloud in the sky.’
‘Yes, it gets chilly when it’s like this, though,’ Nancy replied.
‘Ahh, yes, those stars. Aren’t they beautiful?’ Nina said as she looked out over the view, where the moonlight topped the sea, the stars twinkled in a deep black inky sky, and the rooftops of Lovely Bay with their shell tiling shimmered. Nina leaned on the windowsill and looked over at the landscape stretching as far as the eye could see and smiled at the way the moon seemed to hang suspended in the sky. Silvery light glinted on the sea and warm lights glowed from the windows of the houses of Lovely Bay. Nina squinted and followed the narrow cobbled streets going in the direction of her house over by the harbour and watched a couple of cars stop at the traffic lights by the green.
Nancy pulled a chair over towards the window. ”Here, have a sit-down.’
”Thanks,” Nina replied gratefully. As she sat down, she felt a strange twinge. She wrapped her hands around her stomach and frowned.
‘Oh, what was that?” Nancy asked, concern etched on her face.
‘I don’t know.’ Nina frowned. ‘Whatever it was, it felt weird.’
‘Pain or something else? Or what?” Nancy probed.
‘I don’t know, there’s another one,’ Nina said, her eyes widening as she felt a strange band-like tightening across her bump. It went again, she blinked and winced. ‘Ooh, yeah, wow.’
‘Oh my goodness. It’s not, errr, happening, is it?’
Nina shook her head. ‘Gosh, no. It’s way too early. It must have been that blooming walk up those stairs. And to think, I used to run around the marshes and all over town. I’m going to need to get my fitness back once this baby arrives.’
‘Plenty of time for that!’
‘I suppose so.’
‘Maybe you should have a breather for a bit. How about I make us a cup of tea before we head back down?”
”Yes, yes, sounds like a good idea,’ Nina replied, staring out the window at the bay and the beautiful sliver of moon. ‘I’ve had cups of tea in worst places.’
‘Too right, me too. Okay, I’ll pop down. Don’t move a muscle.’
Nina gazed out at the view and felt another twinge zoom across the centre of her huge bump. She took a sharp intake of breath as the twinge came again about five minutes later. She frowned and wondered what was happening as, after a bit, another one came, and what had been a twinge, which she’d initially dismissed as nothing serious, began to morph into something sharper. Hard and fast pain. It was accompanied by pressure in the small of her back. As she was wondering what it was and more importantly what she was going to do, just like that it was gone again. As she heard Nancy coming back upstairs with the tea, she put it to the back of her mind.
Nancy walked in, put a mug down by the window, and pulled over a chair herself. ‘Are you feeling okay now?’
Nina decided to downplay the whole episode now that the pain appeared to have eased. ‘Yep, fine. I have no idea what that was, but it’s gone.’
‘Good. Oh, I meant to send you a text. How did you get on with that class? It was here, wasn’t it, in the hall? I remember seeing the booking.’
‘Yes, yes, it was. It was really good. I had a nice time, and it was presented in a way that wasn’t too scary.’
‘Oh, that’s excellent. Better than that online one you did, right?’
‘Yep, that’s for sure.’ Nina nodded and suddenly squeezed her eyes together as pain shot through her. She inhaled and then winced as it came again.
Nancy shrieked. ‘Oh my God! What was that?’
Nina shook her head. ‘I don’t know.’
Nancy swore as Nina put down her tea and winced again. Nancy sounded panicked. ‘Ahhh! Do you think this is it?’
Nina flicked her hand dismissively, ‘No, no, of course not. I’ve still got a few good weeks or so to go.’
‘Yep. Yes, you have.’
‘It’s probably those Braxton Hicks contractions or something…’
‘What are those, when they are at home?’
‘Just like a precursor to the real thing. To get you ready for it.’
‘Right, I see.’
They sat and chatted for a bit about a new member of staff at Nancy’s work who was driving her around the twist and the fact that Robby was away on a job. Finishing up their tea, Nancy took the cups and tucked her chair away.
Nina went to follow suit, stood up, and felt lightheaded and dizzy. She put her hand out on the windowsill to steady herself at the same time as she felt a whoosh underneath.
‘What was that? What’s wrong?’ Nancy asked, as she saw the look on Nina”s face.
Nina looked down. ‘Oh my god, I think my waters just broke.’ She fumbled behind her for her chair, eased herself down and took a huge inhale of breath.
Nancy flapped her hands, looked around and swore. Just as she went to speak, Nina’s face contorted with sudden intense pain and she squeezed her hands into fists. ‘Ahh!’
Before she knew what she was doing, Nina found herself on all fours. She swore again and marvelled at how her hips seemed to have taken on a will of their own and were swaying from left to right. She whipped her underwear off and blew out whooshes of air through her mouth. ‘Nance! I... I think she’s coming. I think it’s happening! Like now!’
Nancy, wide-eyed with shock and concern, knelt down and placed her hand on Nina’s back. ‘Okay, Neens, deep breaths. It’s going to be okay.’
Nina felt herself drift off as she tried to focus and manage the sudden, overwhelming waves of pain. ‘I can”t believe this is happening now,’ she gasped between contractions. She then went silent as the intensity rose.
Nancy was on her phone dialling emergency services. ‘Yes, hello, we need an ambulance at the lighthouse – yes, she’s in labour, and it’s happening fast. Sorry, yes, Lovely Bay lighthouse. Lovely, yes. Can I see any part of the baby? Are you kidding me? No, I cannot see any part of the baby! She’s on all fours!’
Nina could hear Nancy talking on the phone but it felt as if she wasn’t really quite there. As if on all fours waiting for the next contraction, she was removed from the situation. She stared at a knot in the timber floor and tried to stop herself from panicking.
‘Tell her to breathe! What the actual!’ Nina heard Nancy say.
Nina couldn’t bring herself to speak. She just continued to stare at the knot in the floor and attempted to remain calm and focused.
Nancy got up close to her face. ‘They’re on their way and someone here is on the phone with me. You’re doing great, just focus on your breathing. Help is on the way.’
Nina felt herself drift away again. Despite Nancy’s reassurance, she knew the baby wasn’t hanging around. She was going to have a baby at the top of a lighthouse. **** my life.
In a moment of clarity before the next contraction, she felt the urge to howl with laughter. It wasn’t funny at all which made her laugh more. It didn’t last long as the next contraction began to build. There was no doubt that they were getting stronger and closer together. Nina closed her eyes as she was engulfed by thick, intense pain much, much worse than she’d ever imagined it was going to be. She clutched Nancy”s hand tightly, her other hand pushing into the skirting board underneath the window as the pain arced up to a peak and stayed there.
‘Okay, Neens. I’m on the phone here. That”s it, nice and slow, breathe in... and out. You”re not alone, I’m right here. Right here with you. Breathe.’
Nina wanted to punch Nancy every time she said “breathe” but she didn’t have the energy to say anything. She heard a strange wailing. She realised it was coming from her. She heard Nancy shouting into her phone again. ‘Less than one minute apart. Where the hell are you? Way less! Like thirty seconds or something! Twenty!’
Nina panted. ‘I can feel her coming out.’
Nancy swore. ‘Okay. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.’
Nina held her head up as the contraction eased off. She heard Nancy speaking on the phone again. ‘Someone needs to get here fast. Where are they? Breathe, Neens, just breathe. Can you tell me where they are? Hurry up! You’re incredibly strong, Nina. Just a little longer, they’ll be here soon. Breathe.’
Nina, overwhelmed by pain and effort, barely registered the words. She looked at Nancy’s face and could see the panic in her eyes. ‘I’m okay.’
‘Try to breathe through it. I”m here with you.’
Nina swore in her head. Breathing wasn’t going to help her. She could feel her body doing its own thing. She felt as if she was bearing down, beyond the point of no return. Her body instinctively began to push, and the overwhelming urge took over. Her breath was coming in short, rapid bursts. She tried to remember something, anything from the classes. ‘I can’t stop it!’
‘Neens, if this baby is coming now, we”re doing this here. I’m with you. Where’s the ambulance? What? Where the bloody hell are they?’
As the contraction hit, Nina bore down, her scream reverberating sound around the lighthouse. After that, time seemed to blur as Nina pushed and waded through a gulf of pain and contractions.
She heard Nancy again. ‘Help! Yes, I can see the baby! What the heck am I supposed to do?’
When Nina came back to the room, there was a lot more movement and a different voice in her ear. She could see a woman in a bottle green shirt with an emblem on the pocket. ‘Nina, okay, your baby is crowning. Nice and calm. Here we go. You need to listen to me, Nina.’
Nina heard herself say not very nice words. They may have ended with the word “off”.
‘Nina, we can see the head. Nina, nice and calm now. One more big push. Nearly there. Doing so well.’
Nina pushed with all her might, and suddenly, a baby’s cry pierced the air. She collapsed back and tears streamed down her face. In a daze, she registered other people in the room as a green shirt handed her baby to her. ‘Congratulations.’
Nina felt as if she was in a dream. In the most beautiful dream of her life, she was sitting on the floor of a lighthouse, looking up at a moon hanging in an inky black sky and then down at her new baby girl. The dream was the best dream ever. No other dream would ever match it.
She shook her head at the reality of what had happened and what was going on around her. It had all occurred so quickly. She was bewildered as paramedics bustled around taking care of everything. Nancy crouched down on the floor beside her and the paramedic in the green shirt reassured her in a calm, steady voice. ‘Okay, Nina, you’re still going to contract because you’re going to deliver the placenta.’
Nina nodded in a daze. ‘Wait, wait, what, wait, what do you want me to do? How do I do that? No more pain, surely?’
‘I don’t want you to do anything. It will deliver by itself. You’re doing well.’
Nina put her hand on her forehead. ‘Okay.’
Nancy held Nina’s hand. ‘Congratulations. Well, you certainly surprised everybody there, didn’t you?’
Nina didn’t know whether she was coming or going. Tears streamed down her cheeks. The moon, a jumble of faces, and her swaddled beautiful baby girl swirled around in front of her eyes. She was delirious with happiness.
‘Bit quick for a number one,’ the paramedic said with a smile.
Nancy laughed. ‘How quick will the next one be?’
Nina shook her head. ‘I don’t think there’ll be a next one.’ She turned to Nancy. ‘You were amazing. Thank you.’
‘Me! I think you were! Goodness, you didn’t lose your head in all of that.’
‘I didn’t have a lot of choice,’ Nina said as she leaned her head back against the lighthouse wall. She never wanted to hear the word “breathe” again.
‘You have to learn all sorts when you look after a train station as your main job. I can now add childbirth to my list of skills,’ Nancy joked.
Nina chuckled weakly, her gaze shifting between Nancy and the tiny bundle in her arms. ‘Well, I’m glad one of us has such a varied skill set,’ she said, her voice a mix of gratitude and exhaustion.
The paramedic chimed in. ‘You both did amazingly. It’s not every day we deliver a baby at the top of a lighthouse!’
Nina looked down at her baby girl and was paralysed with love. ‘She’s perfect,’ she whispered.
Half an hour or so later, as the ambulance doors closed, Nina looked down at her baby. Totally overwhelmed, she felt as if she’d been washed in a deep feeling of peace, pure and utter love, and a lovely but strange sort of completion. In the clear of the night, as the ambulance drove away, she could see the lighthouse getting further and further away, and she felt as if her life had moved to another dimension. Nothing would ever be the same again. Thank goodness.