Chapter 5 #2
Her cold detachment hurt; all the more so because he suspected it was just an act – but an act she desperately didn’t want him to see beyond.
“You did meet me, though, whether you planned to or not. And having enjoyed your body for three glorious nights, I want to know more now. I want to know what’s going on in here.” He tapped the side of her head and she squirmed away on the pretense of sipping her champagne.
“Fine.” She smiled at him tersely. “I studied philosophy at university, which means I love to read and over-analyze everything but unfortunately doesn’t make me tremendously employable in any field,” she said matter-of-factly, but still he laughed at her appraisal.
“So I’m doing volunteer work until I figure out what I want to do next.
I’m not qualified for anything. Literally nothing.
I’m one of the few people in my generation who loathes technology and uses it a bare minimum.
I can’t type. I have no head for maths. I bore easily.
I don’t even know if I have an interest in anything.
” She felt a sob in her throat and she swallowed it determinedly.
“And I hate to whine about it to you because there are children dying in this world from lack of food and I’m incredibly spoiled and indulged and still can’t get my act together.
” She angled a sardonic expression in his direction. “Are you regretting your interest now?”
“Of course not,” he murmured, tilting to face her. “Is this why you came to Athens? To, as you put it, get your act together?”
“Yes,” she said, and it was the truth. Never mind that she was omitting a vital detail regarding her husband’s cheating.
“What volunteer work do you do?”
“Does it matter? It’s just an excuse to leave the house every day.” She blinked back tears.
“I do not believe that,” he said, moving to sit behind her and pulling her gently back onto his chest. She smelled so good. His whole body tensed in pleasurable anticipation.
“You wouldn’t know what it’s like,” she muttered darkly. “To have no clue what you want from life, and no impetus with which to achieve it.”
He frowned. “What are your parents like?”
“My parents?”
“Yes. Most people seem to attribute their decisions, in part, to the way they were raised. I certainly credit my grandfather with many of my traits.”
“Like what?”
“Uh uh,” he said softly. “Nice try. We are talking about you, agape mou.”
She sighed. “Mum and dad are great. They have always taught me I could be anything. Maybe that’s part of the problem.
I spent so much of my childhood learning what I could do and no time thinking about what was necessary to achieve it.
” She cringed, shaking her head so that her hair tickled his chin.
“I hate that I speak like that. I have had the luckiest childhood. I really am a spoiled brat. I’m pathetic. ”
Her proclamation angered him. “Hey,” he wrapped an arm around her waist.
In the future, he would know it was that moment that made him feel a need to protect her.
That moment in time, more than any other, made him want to shake her and show her how wrong she was about herself.
“Why the hell do you let yourself speak like that? Let alone think it? You’re a kid, in the scheme of things.
There is still plenty of time to find what it is you want from life. ”
She shook her head. “Growing up, my mum was this incredibly perfect housewife. The ideal wife. Stunning - she was a real-life Bond girl, you know - and very kind, and intelligent. When I was born, she gave up everything else to be a full time mum and wife.” He felt her slender shoulders shrug.
“I guess I always wanted to be like her.” She pulled a wry grimace.
“Pity I missed out on her looks and patience.”
“You are depressing and infuriating me,” he said simply.
“How can you not see what everyone else does?” He ran his hands down her arms. “Who has been telling you this crap? When you boarded my flight, I was almost winded. I have never known a woman like you.” He captured her fingers in his and lifted them higher in the sky before placing a delicate kiss on her thumb.
“And even if you were as plain looking as a board, you are funny and kind and intelligent and … you are wonderful, agape mou.”
And for Saphire, that was her moment. The moment she knew she’d gone too far. That simple revenge sex had turned into something far, far more dangerous.
“I have to tell you something,” she said slowly. Her eyes fluttered shut. “It’s about my … friend.”
“The one you had to call this morning?”
“Sort of.” She swallowed, panic swelling in her throat.
Be brave. “Ever since I was a kid, I’ve run around with a girl called Anita.
We grew up in the same area, went to school together.
I think we actually hated each other at first,” she said with a small shake of her head.
“But anyway, we’ve been inseparable for years.
We went to university together - though she wisely chose to study economics and now works at the LSE.
” She swallowed. “Anyway, I have loved her like a sister. Until just before I came here I discovered … I found out …” the words were dying inside of her.
Weakly, she finished. “She’s been having an affair with … with a married guy.”
Thad frowned. “I can see why that would be disappointing. What does she say?”
He didn’t get it. She hadn’t explained properly. “I didn’t give her a chance to explain.”
“I can see why,” he agreed. “Marriage is a sacrosanct relationship. It must be hard for you to imagine remaining friends with her when she’s shown herself to have such different values to you.”
Her heart was pounding. “Kind of,” she said simply.
The words he’d said only moments earlier were warming her heart and softening her soul.
How could she ruin it? How could she confess the truth and risk that he’d never look at her in quite the same way?
How could she risk that he’d ask her to leave immediately?
“Do you know the man?”
“The man?” She prompted, but her stomach was rolling with anxiety.
“That she’s sleeping with.”
“Oh.” She nodded. “He’s the husband of … a friend of ours.”
“That makes it even worse. It is a huge betrayal. Do you think the couple will make it?”
“The couple? As in the guy and his wife?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I think they both want to. He wants to get into politics. I think he’d fear a divorce would look bad.”
“Not half as bad as a disgruntled wife one day spilling her stories to the tabloids. Or worse, a disgruntled ex-lover,” Thad said with a truth Saphire hadn’t appreciated.
“Anita would never do that,” she said after a moment too long.
“You probably did not believe her capable of sleeping with the husband of a friend, either.”
“Good point.”
“You also have no idea if Anita is his first mistress. In my experience, men who cheat do it often and without much compunction for the poor wife.” He stroked her hair. “It makes no sense to me.”
“What doesn’t?”
“Why marry at all if you’ve no interest in monogamy?”
Guilt was now controlling her heartbeat. “You don’t think that … sometimes stuff just happens?”
“No.” He dropped his lips to her shoulder and kissed the smooth flesh tenderly. “I do not. It is one of the reasons I have never sought a relationship that went beyond easy, relaxed sex.”
Her heart pricked. “Why?”
“Because. I am not a man to be tied into marriage. I like to know that I can leave when I become bored of a woman. I don’t crave the emotional stability of a long-term relationship.”
Saphire could have pulled her hair from her head. Frustration gnawed at her belly. “Why does that bother me?” She mused aloud, turning around a little in his arms so that she could see his expression.
His dark eyes ran over her face, trying to comprehend her question. Finally, he shrugged. “It shouldn’t. You are the one who’s insisted on those exact same restrictions for us.”
And if I hadn’t? She didn’t ask the question because the answer scared the hell out of her.
“This is too serious,” she murmured. His lips were parted, and so close to hers. Just an inch away. She covered the distance easily and tasted his mouth. As always, the spell began to wrap around them, enslaving her to its wonderment.
“This is better,” she grinned, her fingers pushing at his button and zipper.
She pulled him from his pants with relief and straddled him.
She didn’t bother to remove her underwear, she simply slid them aside so that she could welcome him inside.
She groaned as she felt his length expand inside of her.
He was so damned hard and strong. She dropped her cheek to his shoulder, staring out at the glistening moonlit ocean as he rocked in time with the boat, slowly building her to an inevitable climax.
“This is the best,” he said finally, as she began to tremble arms. “I have no idea why you fight it.”
The words were barbs in her sensual fog, for how truly accurate they were. Of course he had no idea why she was fighting the truth of what they were becoming. Because she knew. She was falling in love and she had no right to.
She kept her eyes averted, waiting for her breath to steady and her insides to calm. But she was alive in a feverish way. She tilted her pelvis back, wanting to give him the same pleasure she’d felt. She reached behind her and lifted one of the champagne flutes then held it suspended over his lips.