68. CHAPTER 68
Kira
The Capital
Kallum, Ciondo
Heartbreak consumed Kira so deeply that she split into halves—the part of her that felt nothing, and the part that felt it all.
Zayne was drifting from her.
She held him in her arms, but she couldn't keep him from slipping away.
“Meeting you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. You won't believe me, but it's true.” His eyes fluttered open but then closed again. He fought to hold on. Wasn't surrendering. “You have to know, Zayne. You have to know you never deserved all this guilt.”
Her heart stormed at the coldness of his clammy skin. If not for his moan, she wouldn't know he was alive. He was trying to speak, but his lips barely moved.
“It's okay.” Kira lay on the ground beside him and cradled his head against the inside of her shoulder, holding him close. “I'm not letting go.” Her thumb ran down his cheek, and she kissed his temple. “You can rest, okay? Rest, and I'll hold on for you.”
His moans broke her.
Hate tried to distract her, to target Luke with her wrath, but Zayne needed her. He finally let her hold him, and she wasn't sacrificing a moment with him, not for anything.
“Can you hear me?” She spoke against his cheek, memorizing his face with her thumb. “You don't need to worry about me, because I've got us both.”
Kira turned his face toward her, cleaning away the fresh blood on his lips. The struggle no longer twisted his expression. It looked like he was falling asleep. Nothing had ever terrified her more. This couldn't be real. He couldn't die. It was too cruel and wrong.
But Kira could fall apart later. She focused on him, pouring all of herself into him. Her mouth found his, and she kissed him softly, his lips barely parting, as if he tried to kiss her back.
Why did he have to leave like this when he'd just come back to her?
She couldn't let him go, but she couldn't make this harder on him either.
Gaze sliding down his face, desperate to see his glacier eyes again, Kira smiled softly. “I love you.” Her thumb smoothed a circle against the side of his face. “I love you, Zayne.” She kissed him again, but this time, he didn't stir. And he felt so cold.
Her chest heaved with sobs.
Why didn't she tell him sooner? Why did she wait so long? She was starting to say it when they kissed earlier until she tasted his blood on her tongue. That should have been the first thing she told him when she had the chance.
Kira gripped him tighter, the full terror seizing her heart.
She couldn't stop him from dying.
She couldn't do anything.
“Zayne.” She sat up and looked down at his still body. “I love you. Did you hear me? I said I love you.”
Nothing.
“You're supposed to fight me and say I shouldn't be such a fool. And look out that stupid window at home.” Kira sobbed bitterly.
“You're supposed to pretend like you didn't hear me when we both know you did.” She clutched the uniform blanketing him.
“Answer me. I love you. I love you. I love you. Okay?”
“Step away and close your eyes.” That bastard spoke, daring to sound teary, like he didn't do this. “I'll take away his suffering.”
“You will not touch him!” Kira screamed at him, still refusing to take her eyes off Zayne to look at that monster. “I won't let you.”
“He's in pain. The clotters might keep him alive for another hour. It'll be slow and terrible.”
“Go to hell.”
Luke groaned, and she saw him lean against his knees from the corner of her eye. “I'll give you one more minute. Then I'm cuffing you and taking you in.”
Her breath leaked out when she finally looked up at him. Kira had no intention of leaving Zayne, but Luke promised him to let her go. “You said—”
“To make him feel better. I can't release you. The Phaedra wants you, and he'll have you, especially now. No one will stop him. So, you need to just return to the prison before he sends me to hunt you down.”
“I don't even know what word to call someone like you.”
Luke held her eyes, unmoved by what she said. “Say goodbye to my brother.”
If he wanted to kill Zayne, then he'd kill her too. She was not walking away.
“Hang on a little longer,” she whispered. “We promised not to give up. I love you, and I didn't come this far to say bye. We…”
A woman dressed in all black walked between the trees toward them. Kira and Luke saw her at the same time. It looked like someone had pried that gun from his grip and bashed him in the temple with it.
Face pale, Luke stared in shock at their visitor whose raven hair blended into the darkness. “Nadia?”
It was the first time he was distracted. Kira dove for Luke and ripped the capsule from her shirt. Just when he looked back at her, grip tightening on his gun, Kira clicked the end twice, twisted it, and opened the uranium directly in Luke's eyes.
Red swarmed the darkness instantly.
Kira closed her eyes, falling onto the ground, rolling away as soon as she hit.
Luke screamed and clawed at his face, gun on the ground. The Pixi Dust swirled in the air in front of him and funneled into his eyes, eating the radiation from inside him.
What that would do to him, she didn't know. She didn't know how much exposure she'd just gotten to the uranium either. But she didn't care about anything except keeping Zayne alive.
Kira grabbed Luke's gun and the bag with Pumpkin, pointing the weapon at him. “Move and I shoot.” Then, throwing his words back at him. “Or do you want to test whether I'll hurt you?”
He fell onto his ass, gasping, hands covering his eyes. “What the fuck—”
Nadia ran to Zayne and dropped a bag beside him. “Is it a gunshot?”
Hearing the confident, low voice of the woman Zayne had loved and wanted to spend his life with shook Kira. “Yes.”
“How long ago?” Thin brows narrowed at her above determined eyes. She was beautiful and felt in control when no one could be in control of a disaster like this.
“Twenty-three minutes into the mission. I don't know how long it's been since.”
“Shit.” Nadia threw the jacket off Zayne and ripped open his uniform.
Where had she come from? Even before Luke said her name, Kira knew who she was. She recognized her by the boundless panic and love erupting in her eyes.
“What are you doing here?” Kira asked.
“Brock knew you might need a surgeon.” She pulled on gloves and withdrew a stethoscope, listening.
Hope stirred in Kira, but she was so overwhelmed that she still felt dead.
Eyes closed, Luke felt along the ground until Kira stomped on his fingers. He cursed and grabbed for her, but she jumped back. “I told you not to move.”
“Nadia, get out of here.” Luke groaned, rubbing his eyes. Red smoke drifted from them. “The Phaedra will kill you.”
But she didn't respond. She poured antiseptic all over Zayne's side. “Brock shouldn't be far behind. We were ambushed. He sent me ahead of him once I could get away.”
If the Phaedra didn't know about any of this, then they might be able to escape with Luke incapacitated. “Is he okay?”
“I don't know. He was alive when I left.” Nadia placed a scalpel to Zayne's side where Kira couldn't see. “We have to call for help. Zayne needs surgery now if there's any hope of saving him.”
“Call the Phaedra?”
Nadia withdrew a needle and tube. “He won't survive the jet ride. The Phaedra won't let him die.”
Kira doubled over and caught herself before she threw up. After all this, Nadia wanted to turn Zayne in?
“I heard you say you love him.” Nadia glanced up. “If that's true, then you do exactly what I say. Run as fast as you can in the direction I came. Get the hell out of here.”
“I'm not leaving him. The Phaedra will torture him.”
“Then take this scalpel and kill him. Either we do that, or the Phaedra saves his life.”
Kira stared at Nadia and the steadiness of her hands. “What you're doing, can it save him?
“His lung collapsed,” Nadia said. “It'll keep him alive for now. We need to call for help. So leave.”
“What about you?”
She focused, quiet as she worked. Suddenly, Zayne gasped, his chest rising. Whatever she did worked.
Lowering her head, Nadia closed her eyes for several seconds, breathing hard.
Then she lifted a bag of blood from a small pack.
“I owe him this. I'll have at least two Rivens trying to protect me. I might survive.” Fierce eyes, steady voice.
Nadia held her stare with all the authority the Riven's wielded, only she lacked the powerful name to back her up.
“You know what you owe him. Don't let what he sacrificed be for nothing.
I've broken him before. You don't want to be the one to break him now.”
Luke knelt, eyes closed, arms limp at his side. “Let my brother go. He'll just suffer.”
“You do not want to talk to me right now.” Nadia lifted the bag of blood high in the air while it ran down the tube into Zayne's arm.
“He got Mom killed, and he'll do the same to the girls.”
“You're delusional. Adelle died fighting a war you're too much of a coward to understand. Don't use your daughters as an excuse.”
“They're the reason for everything. I'm begging you to save yourself.”
Their voices faded while Kira watched Zayne, while her heart crumbled away to dust inside her body, because she knew what she needed to do when she'd rather die alongside him.
Kneeling one more time, Kira took his face in her hands and pressed her forehead to his. Cold emanated from his pale skin. Her fingers trembled against him. Breath quietly escaped from him in nearly inaudible moans.
“I'm coming back for you,” she said. “I know you'll be here waiting. I believe in you.” Eyes lifting to Nadia, Kira nodded. “Try to run. It might kill Zayne if he wakes up to find you in captivity.”
Tears lined Nadia's eyes. Kira didn't know anything about her except that Zayne had loved her, and she had broken his heart, but he didn't fall for someone easily. Kira witnessed enough to see what might have drawn him to her.
“If you don't make it out, I'll come back for you, too,” Kira said. “You can do this.”
Nadia's brows pinched, surprise filling her eyes. “You can too.”
She didn't think so. It wasn't possible to walk away. But Zayne needed her, and she'd do anything for him, even leave him behind in the Phaedra's prison, broken and dying, while she gathered an army for him.
Hands running through his hair, Kira kissed his cheek again.
She tore her own heart in half when she rose to her feet.
Looking at Zayne one more time, she saw past his pale skin and the blood darkening his blond hair to the man she'd spent her captivity dancing with—pushing and pulling on each other, hiding and peeking, fighting and loving.
No matter what he thought of himself, he was the most selfless person she'd ever met.
And she'd love him until the day she died.
That certainty took root so deeply within her.
His only hope of escape was Kira now, and he hadn't flinched from any amount of suffering to save her. So she had to do this.
Spirit left bleeding out with Zayne, Kira ran for Brock. Ran with blind faith and hope that there was an escape from this place, that she could come back for him, that there was anything waiting for them except for death.
With each heart beat, her heart begged her to yield and return to him. It was the worst thing she could do, leaving him with the Phaedra. But Kira didn't let herself stop.
Clinging to hope, she pushed on until she found Brock jogging toward her. Blood covered his face and dripped from the tips of his fingers on his right hand. When he saw her, sobbing and covered once more in blood, the knowing look overcame him. Broke him too.
“Nadia is trying to save him,” she said. “He won't survive the trip.”
Brock nodded, silent, baring his gritted teeth while he cried.
“If I can convince Zayne Riven to let me in, then I can convince the United to tear down the capital to find him.” Kira grabbed Brock's hand, both of theirs sticky. “We'll bring him home.”
Pained eyes looked past her toward Zayne and Nadia. And then Brock took Kira beneath his arm, holding her close, to help her through the hardest steps of her life.
The steps leading her away from the man she loved.
Leaving him with their worst nightmare.