Chapter 9
Nerves flooded Lily’s body and she wondered if she could escape. What was she doing here? This was so stupid. She had long passed by amateur theatre and her voice wasn’t working anyway.
Nick opened the door and she heard a piano playing, and talking and laughing as she stepped inside. Lily hesitated for a moment at the doorway while Nick kept the door open. Her heart hammered in her chest.
There was that lovely energy she remembered about being in a show in the room.
It didn’t matter that it was an amateur show, everyone was there for the same goal: to be a part of something.
Along with the happy gathering of people and music, the warm glow of light spilt out into the street.
Breathing deeply, she steadied herself and entered.
Unlike the calm lanes of Appleton Green that led them to the village hall, inside was a hive of activity.
Coffee and tea were set up and some cake and biscuits were on a trestle table to the side, all beautifully laid out on a pretty blue tablecloth.
Lily could smell the cinnamon cake, along with the subtle mustiness that seemed natural in all community facilities.
To her left, a makeshift café with mismatched seats surrounding unsteady trestle tables had been set up.
Sitting around hot cups of tea and coffee, a small group of people chattered, their eyes curious at this interloper to their auditions.
She smiled at a few and they thankfully smiled back at her.
A dilapidated upright piano stood boldly in the middle of the room, its keys being fiercely pounded by a portly man with a shock of white hair. Lily started to recognise the melody; it was ‘On the Street Where You Live’ from My Fair Lady .
‘Nick, you’re here, thank goodness. Where is Jessica?’
She turned to find a big table piled with scripts, pens, and what appeared to be sign-up sheets. Rising above the noise, a harried-looking woman with frizzy red hair was trying to sort the anarchy by calling names and distributing paperwork.
‘In London, last I heard,’ said Nick to the woman. ‘Sheila, this is Lily Baxter. She’s said you two know each other?’
Lily smiled at Sheila who nodded. ‘Nice to see you again, Sheila,’ she said.
Sheila peered at Lily. ‘Oh yes, Violet Baxter’s granddaughter. How is she?’
Lily smiled. ‘She’s fine, still at the cottage. She sends her best,’ she lied.
Sheila gave a pursed half-smile. ‘I’m sure she did,’ she said and turned to Nick.
‘Let me know when Jessica arrives. She’s my Eliza.’
‘Isn’t she in London?’ he asked, confusion clouding his handsome face.
‘She’s back, didn’t she call you?’ said Sheila looking smug for knowing something Nick didn’t, and she walked away like a cat swinging her tail.
Lily leaned to Nick. ‘Well if it’s already cast then I don’t need to worry,’ she whispered with a smile.
‘I didn’t know she was back,’ Nick said and Lily heard an edge in his voice.
‘Did things end badly between you?’ she asked, knowing she was being nosy but wanting to know everything about her competition.
‘Let’s just say we won’t be catching up for coffee anytime soon,’ he said and he handed her the sign-up form and went to speak to Sheila.
Lily wandered about the room looking at the fading posters of earlier productions – The Importance of Being Earnest , Guys and Dolls , A Midsummer Night’s Dream – each one homely and unpretentious and reminding Lily of why she loved the theatre so much.
But the anxiety of having to sing still loomed.
She glanced around the room looking for Jessica, her supposed competition.
Even though Lily knew she most likely wouldn’t commit to being in the show, she wondered what the girl’s voice would be like.
There was always someone better in London, and sometimes she would stay back after an audition to listen to the others sing their songs and wonder why she even bothered.
Everyone was so talented on the West End.
‘Hello, to the most glamourous ingénue. Miss Lily Baxter, how are you?’ She turned to see Jasper, looking much older but still very fabulous in his black fedora and an electric blue overcoat draped over his shoulders, stood in front of her, as Nick came to her side.
‘Hello, Jasper.’ She beamed at him. He had always been so kind to her when she was a child. ‘I can’t believe you remember me,’ she said.
‘I’ve been watching your career from afar,’ he said with a smile. Jasper smelled of mints and orange peel and maybe the faint smell of tobacco. He wore a rose gold pinkie ring and under his arm was a tiny Pomeranian dog.
‘It’s not much of one,’ she said with a shrug.
‘It more than most, darling. Now are you coming to sing for Eliza?’
‘I thought I might just have a little sing.’
‘This is Bernadette,’ he said to Lily, pushing the dog slightly forward for her to see as Nick came to her side.
The dog looked at her as Lily put her hand out for the dog to sniff.
‘No,’ said Nick and Jasper in unison, but Bernadette licked Lily’s hand with her tiny tongue.
‘Well that’s a sign,’ said Jasper. ‘Last year she bit Sheila’s webbing between her thumb and pointer finger, and now she has a floppy thumb.’
Lily looked at Nick who nodded. ‘It’s true, I applied pressure and they stitched it, but it’s not been the same since according to Sheila.’
Jasper smiled at her. ‘I do hope you will bring Violet to the show. She would have been a wonderful Mrs Higgins.’
‘Yes, we will come,’ she said to him and he wandered to the tea table where he took a piece of cake and fed it to Bernadette, and then went to the group sitting in the chairs.
Nick looked around and she wondered if he was nervous about Jessica’s arrival. ‘Come on, we need to get a seat and wait our turn to audition,’ Nick said to her.
The room hummed with obvious excitement, as any audition space did, and she tried to push the memory of her failed audition out of her head.
There is no pressure here, she reminded herself. There is no need to worry, just sing the song and enjoy yourself, she thought. She wouldn’t let herself get carried away; she couldn’t. This was a test for herself, not a real audition.
‘We sing in front of each other?’ She looked around.
‘Of course.’ He smiled and she wondered how a man this good-looking could be single.
Lily nodded and inhaled once more, trailing Nick as they went to the chairs.
‘Everyone, this is Lily. She’s from London. She’s a West End singer, and she’s here to practise and audition,’ he said to the group. She nudged him.
‘Shhh, don’t,’ she hissed but he ignored her.
‘West End? How marvellous. Why are you here, dear? Will be you in the show?’
The questions tumbled from the people around her and Lily didn’t know which one to answer first, when the door opened and everyone turned.
‘Jessica,’ said Sheila and she rushed up to a young woman who looked uncannily like a very tall Audrey Hepburn and who glanced at Nick and then at Lily and raised an eyebrow.
She wore a black cape over a white dress and had her hair in a perfect French roll.
She wore black heels with stockings and carried an elegant clutch purse.
The only colour was a perfect red lipstick and the red on the soles of her heels that Lily captured a glimpse of as she stalked into the hall.
Sheila turned to the group who were all sitting on the chairs.
‘Everyone can relax, our leading lady is here,’ she said, her eyes holding Lily’s for a moment too long.
Jessica came to the group and looked at everyone and then leaned down and kissed Nick on the cheek. ‘Hello, darling,’ she said to him.
‘Hi,’ he said, seeming a little awkward, ‘Jess, this is Lily. She’s new in the village.’
Jessica stared at her for a longer than usual moment and then a slow smile spread over her face and she laughed.
‘Hello, Lily, how nice to see you again,’ she said. ‘You’re helping your grandmother. How sweet, like little red riding hood. Be careful of the wolf,’ she said with a coquettish bat of her eyelashes.
Nice to see you? She couldn’t remember ever meeting her before.
But before Lily could ask anything of Jessica, Sheila clapped her hands.
‘Okay, everyone, time to get ready. We are casting for all roles,’ said Sheila and she gave Jessica a wink.
Jessica preened and it annoyed Lily more than was reasonable. There were other younger women in the group who might be right for the role of Eliza. Why did Jessica assume it was hers? Was Sheila making the casting decisions and not Jasper?
‘Listen, I might not audition,’ she whispered to Nick. ‘It’s a silly idea. I’ll wait for you to sing and just watch.’
‘No, you have to sing. This is just to see how your voice is, okay? Look at me the whole time and just focus on the singing and nothing else,’ he whispered back.
There was a calmness to him that soothed her but still, she thought, it wouldn’t be right to waste everyone’s time.
‘Lily Baxter?’ She heard her name and looked up to see Sheila standing with the call-out sheet.
‘Um, yes,’ she said. Sometimes she hated having a name that started so early in the alphabet.
‘Just sing and see what happens,’ Nick whispered and she looked at him and made a face. ‘Go,’ he said and pushed a little with his hand on her elbow.
Lily walked to the piano and realised she hadn’t brought any sheet music.
‘I forgot my music,’ she said to the portly accompanist.
‘That’s okay, Andrew knows everything. Just tell him what song and in what key and you can start,’ Sheila instructed with a toss of her teal and purple paisley pashmina over her shoulder.
Lily stood still, thinking of what song to sing.
‘“So in Love” from Kiss Me, Kate in G# major?’
She glanced at the rickety upright piano where Andrew sat, poised to begin.
His fingers hovered over the keys, waiting for her nod.
Lily’s mouth felt dry, her palms clammy.
What if her voice failed her again? What if she opened her mouth and nothing came out, just like that disastrous day in London?
He nodded and started to play the introduction.
She knew the song so well. It was one she used to sing with Gran when they would put on the Kiss Me, Kate movie soundtrack when she was small, and she would sing every role, but she loved the role of Kate the most.
The chatter of the room had died down to an expectant hush, and she could feel every pair of eyes boring into her. Her heart hammered against her ribs, threatening to burst free. Please don’t let me down, she silently asked her voice.
Taking a shaky breath, she looked out into the audience.
Most faces were a blur, but one stood out clearly: Nick.
He sat in the front row, his kind eyes fixed on her, a reassuring smile on his face.
He gave her a subtle thumbs up, and something in Lily’s chest loosened just a fraction.
Why did he have to be so handsome? At least it was distracting enough to make her stop worrying about what might or might not come out of her mouth.
Lily closed her eyes, allowing the familiar melody to wash over her. When she opened them again, she fixed her gaze on Nick, using him as an anchor in the sea of her anxiety.
As the moment for her to begin approached, Lily felt a flutter of panic. But then Nick mouthed, ‘You’re fine,’ and somehow, impossibly, she believed him.
Lily opened her mouth, and to her amazement, her voice emerged – clear, strong, and full of emotion.
The words flowed from her, each note ringing true. As she sang, the world around her faded away. There was no audience, no judging eyes, just the music and the story she was telling.
Her voice swelled with the crescendo, years of training and passion pouring out of her.
In that moment, Lily remembered why she had fallen in love with singing in the first place.
It wasn’t about the applause or the bright lights of the West End.
It was about this – the pure joy of losing herself in a song.
She remembered singing it in Pippin Cottage to Gran, who told her she had something special, that she could do something few others could do, that her voice brought Gran joy.
As she hit the final note, holding it with a control and power that surprised even her, Lily realised that tears were threatening to fall and she ducked her head as the last piano notes faded away, and for a moment, there was absolute silence.
Then, the hall erupted in applause. Lily blinked, coming back to herself. She saw Nick on his feet, clapping wildly, his face beaming with pride. The rest of the room followed suit, a standing ovation from this small but appreciative audience.
Except Jessica and Sheila who sat, slightly smiling, clapping somewhat less enthusiastically.
Lily felt a smile break across her face, a real, genuine smile that reached her eyes. For the first time since leaving London she felt confident again. Her voice wasn’t broken, she’d just needed a break.