Chapter 40
Lily stood outside the village hall where she was holding a box of the order of service she’d had printed for the funeral the next day.
She was waiting for Jasper to come so she could put them inside.
The cold air producing little clouds from her breath was making her almost jump up and down on the spot to keep warm.
‘Lily,’ she heard and she turned and saw Jessica striding towards her.
‘Please don’t. I am not in the mood to hear anything from you, Jessica. I don’t know what your issue is with me, but you need to leave me alone.’
‘Why aren’t you auditioning in London?’
‘Because I don’t want to,’ said Lily. ‘I know you sent Paul up to try and get me out of the village so you could be with Nick.’
Jessica laughed. ‘No, I sent Paul up because you are better than this village and this stupid society. Why are you wasting your talent here?’
‘What exactly is your problem with me?’ Lily asked, putting the box on the ground.
‘My problem with you is that you’re wasting your talent, that you aren’t meeting your potential,’ Jessica said, throwing her hands up in the air.
Lily blew air out of her cheeks, not just because she was cold but also at Jessica’s words.
‘Do you know what the problem is with saying people aren’t meeting their potential?’
Jessica crossed her arms. ‘No. Enlighten me.’
‘When people say things like that, it’s not that they think the person has true potential, it’s just that you think what you would do if you were me. This is only about you wanting to be able to sing, not actually about me at all.’
‘That doesn’t make any sense,’ sneered Jessica.
‘No it does – think about it. You want me to get away from here, from Nick, which means that you have won, except you didn’t factor in two things.’
‘What’s that?’ Jessica sniffed at her.
A light drizzle was starting to fall, making Jessica’s hair glow in the light.
‘One – Nick said he would come with me wherever I decided to go: London, Asia, Broadway. He only said he didn’t want to leave because he didn’t want to leave with you.’
Lily saw Jessica’s face fall and part of her felt bad for a moment and then it disappeared.
‘And two – you are acting as though he has no free will in this, as though you are some sort of siren who will sweep him up again. He’s not your toy, Jessica, so stop playing with everyone and work out your own life.
And stop lying and sabotaging people for your own benefit.
Keep your acting for the stage, because that’s the only place it belongs. ’
‘Everything all right?’ Lily turned and saw Jasper at her side. Bernadette was on a leash, wearing a tiny pink fake fur coat with a hood and she didn’t look thrilled about it either, Lily noticed.
‘Yes, Jessica was just giving me her condolences for Gran,’ she said, looking Jessica in the eye.
Jessica lifted her chin. ‘Yes, it was very sad – lovely, though, that she was able to see you sing one last time, even if it was in the village hall.’
Jasper snorted at her. ‘Be gone, Jessica, you have no powers here. Go and spread your bitchy ways somewhere else. We’re tired of you.’
And Jasper picked up the box of the order of service for Gran and walked to the hall and opened the door with his key and Lily followed him, leaving Jessica stunned outside in the rain.
‘You all right, pet?’ he asked as he turned on the lights and dropped Bernadette’s lead so she could wander.
Lily sat on a chair. ‘She is like the wicked witch of Appleton Green,’ she said in astonishment. ‘I can’t believe she’s so relentless. If I told you what she had been up to you wouldn’t believe it,’ she said.
‘Oh I would,’ said Jasper with a laugh. ‘I’ve seen her type before. After thirty years of directing shows, she’s a dime a dozen. Too beautiful for her own good and not talented enough to be a star.’
Lily shrugged. ‘She seems to hate me.’
‘She hates anyone with talent,’ he said and he sat down next to her.
‘I know you think I am just a silly amateur drama director, who flits about and worries about ridiculous regional shows and how the costumes look,’ he said, and as Lily protested he waved his hands.
‘I know what some people think and say but, to be honest, I don’t worry anymore,’ he said.
‘When I started my career, I was on the West End and for two years I went to Broadway with a show.’
‘I did wonder, you have a great style of directing, much more professional than people realise,’ said Lily.
‘I don’t talk about it, because it’s not relevant now. My skills have grown from having to try and put a show together with three pounds and some enthusiasm.’ He laughed.
She nodded. There was nothing like ingenuity in the theatre, especially amateur theatre.
‘I was an assistant director to some very experienced people, with numerous Oliviers and Tonys amongst them all, but I knew it would be decades before I got to put on shows of my own and so much of their job was wooing the producers and investors, and I just wanted to put on a show.’
Bernadette padded over to them and put her paws up on Lily’s legs to be picked up.
‘She really does love you.’ Jasper smiled. ‘Everyone does.’
He went on with his story.
‘And I thought about why I started directing theatre and I realised it wasn’t for anything else but the rehearsal, the opening night, the closing night, all the problems to solve and how to put on a show that made people feel something.
And I left it all. This is my job now and I love it,’ he said.
‘I make my living doing these sorts of things, and school shows and semi-professional shows, and it’s always exciting and always rewarding.
Not everything has to be at the top tier to be important. ’
Lily nodded. ‘I told the agent I couldn’t come to the auditions and he basically told me I was finished before I started.’
Jasper sighed. ‘There is a sort of expectation in the industry that you will do whatever it takes, the show must go on above everything else, but sometimes, the everything else is the most important thing.’
Lily patted Bernadette as she gave a comfortable sigh and nestled into her lap. ‘I don’t think I have that sort of energy in me,’ she said. ‘It was lovely to be asked but the anxiety started to rise in me and then when I was asked to choose, well… I couldn’t. There was no choice.’
‘I understand, dear, so much. You have built a life here in that sweet little cottage.’
‘Now Gran has passed, I think Dad will sell the cottage though. We haven’t found Gran’s will yet, so it’s hard to know.’
Jasper shook his head. ‘Her will is at the post office.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘She kept it there. She told me when I went to see her and you to convince you to come back to the show.’
‘Why did you talk about that?’ Lily asked, confused.
‘I don’t know really. We were talking about the cottage and how old it was, and she said sometimes she worried about it burning down, which is why she got rid of the old open fire and put a heater in, and she told me she left her important papers with Mrs Harris.
Has she not come and given them to you yet? ’
Lily shook her head. ‘No, she called me but I didn’t take answer. There’s been so many people calling and texting, you see.’
Jasper patted her hand. ‘Well give her a call and pick it up and you can read it with your family when you’re ready.’
‘I can’t. I have to get the hall ready for the funeral.’ Lily looked around at the drab hall, the plastic chairs lined up in rows. ‘I wish I had more time to make it nice, but I don’t and there’s too many people who want to come to have it in a church.’
‘You never mind that. I’ll take care of it,’ Jasper said. ‘This is what I do. Leave it with me. I’ll call in the troops. Go and call Mrs Harris.’
‘Okay, I’ll call her now,’ said Lily, her heart beating faster. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Surer than sure – now call her.’ Jasper picked up Bernadette from Lily’s lap and held her as she stood up and called Mrs Harris back.
‘Hello, Mrs Harris? It’s Lily Baxter,’ she said.
‘Oh, Lily, I am so sorry about Violet. What a woman she was.’
Lily nodded, not trusting herself to speak, as the tears came so easily, especially when people were nice about Gran to her.
‘I’ve got some things she left for you here, if you want to come and get them.’
‘Are you open?’ asked Lily, looking at the time on the large clock on the wall.
‘I am open for you, dear,’ said Mrs Harris. ‘See you soon.’
Lily slipped the phone into her pocket.
‘I’m going to see her now,’ she said to Jasper, who was taking the order of services out of the box and placing them on the chairs that were lined up in rows in the hall.
‘Want me to walk with you?’ Jasper asked.
‘No, thank you though. I am grateful to you, Jasper,’ she said and she hugged him.
‘My darling, it is a pleasure. Now go and get Gran’s things and I will see you tomorrow for the service.’ He paused for a moment. ‘Are you sure you’re up to it?’
Lily nodded. ‘Yes, I’m okay, I want to do my best.’
‘And you will. I know whatever happens, you will always shine through, Lily Baxter.’