Chapter 7 Esme
ESME
Isat in my usual spot on Grady’s couch. Grady sat on the other end, looking wary, his usual open expression shuttered.
“I don’t know where to start.” Grady crossed his arms over his chest. “How much do you know?”
“Only what Robbie found online.”
“So basically everything?” Grady shook his head, then pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and middle finger.
“I know Sean Hale’s your father. I know your mother died when you were a teenager. I know you were a talent agent. What I don’t know is why you’ve lied to me about it for years.”
“I didn’t lie. I just omitted some facts.”
“Some very important facts,” I said, fighting tears. “I thought we were best friends, and now I don’t even know if I have any clue who you truly are.”
“You know me.”
“No, Grady. No.” I waved a hand in front of my chest, shaking my head. “Don’t do that. I want you to tell me why you’ve lied to me when I’ve told you absolutely everything about myself, warts and all.”
“You don’t have any warts.”
“My ex-husband’s the biggest wart of all,” I said, fighting a smile. Darn Grady for being so charming. So handsome. “Why did you keep this from me?”
“It’s not like I chose to keep only you in the dark.
” He rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand.
“Okay, let me see if I can explain all of this to you. I came here to start fresh. When the story broke, my sister and I had no idea what he’d done.
To us, he was just our father. Not a good one, mind you.
Arrogant, and often cruel. Ruled the house like he was the king and we were his servants.
But we did not know he was a monster capable of doing the things they accused him of. The things he did.”
“You truly had no idea?”
“None whatsoever. I know it seems impossible, given the scope of his crimes, but it’s true.
After our mother died, he was rarely home, always working or on location somewhere.
Both my sister and I wanted to be in the movie business.
She wanted to be an actress, like our mother had been before she married.
I always had an eye for talent—could spot star potential—so becoming an agent seemed like a good fit.
And it was. I had a blast. But then, when it all came crashing down around us, when we heard those women’s stories—.
” He paused, clearly trying to get control of his emotions.
“It broke me. I couldn’t see the world the same way.
I wanted nothing to do with Sean Hale or Hollywood or any of the sickening things that happen in that business.
So I sold everything. Quit my job. And I just got in the car, with my boards and some clothes and headed north.
When I drove into Willet Cove for the first time, I knew this was it. ”
“And the surf shop was for sale?”
“That’s right. It all seemed meant to be.”
“But why not tell people who you really are? Why not tell me?”
“It’s hard to explain.”
“Try,” I said.
“Okay, well, there are several elements to it. One is that I didn’t want the press following me.
It was really bad. They followed my sister and I everywhere.
Hounded us for information. I’d wake in the mornings to see a crowd of reporters waiting for me outside my condo.
I felt hunted. In addition, I felt this overwhelming urge to rid myself of any ties to him.
I wanted to figure out who I was outside of the family business.
And, finally, I didn’t trust anyone not to sell me out to the press. ”
“Even me?”
“I knew you wouldn’t sell me out. You would never do that. But you have children. Precious children. I didn’t want any of my sick past to hurt them. It wasn’t totally rational, I guess, but it’s the truth.”
I stared at him. His hair the color of butterscotch and the freckles on his cheeks and his full, firm mouth. All so familiar, and, yet, I had no idea who he really was. “I don’t know you at all. That’s the part that’s hard. I thought we were so close.”
“You do know me. This is who I am.” He gestured around his shabby house. “I’m obsessed with the surf. I love to bake and have bonfires on the beach and living in a small town a few blocks from my best friend. That’s you.”
I smiled despite trying to remain cold.
“I love watching documentaries with Robbie and playing Barbies with Madison. And most of all, I love hanging out with you doing nothing. I thought if you knew who I was—that my father’s a predator—you wouldn’t let me anywhere near your kids.”
“You’re not a predator.”
“I’m not. But I know how careful you are about letting people near your kids. I don’t know—.” He choked up. “Esme, I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you. That’s the last thing I’d ever want to do. I didn’t know we would grow close. By the time we did, it was too late. I’d already kept my past from you.”
“Did you ever think about telling me?”
“So many times. But I knew, if I told you, you’d tell your girlfriends, and then my fresh start would be over. I wanted the past to stay there. I just wanted to forget it all and start over.”
“All this time, I’ve thought you’re just a flaky surfer, and it turns out you’re from Hollywood royalty.”
He tilted his head to the side, his eyes filling with tears. “See, right there. That’s what I didn’t want. Now you see me differently. You’ll think of my father every time you look at me. And that’s going to break my heart. I’m never going to be anything but the son of a monster.”
“That’s not true. I see you and only you. Or the you I thought I knew.”
“Is there anything in your past you just want to forget? To put away forever?”
“Well, my ex-husband comes to mind. But, without him, I wouldn’t have the kids.
So yeah, it doesn’t really work that way.
Everything from our past informs who we are.
Mistakes, family legacy, and choices we’ve made along the way, both good and bad, all come along for the ride.
” I paused, looking at my hands. “I just want to know you, warts and all.”
“Esme, I know this is all a lot to take in, and I’m sorry. But I’ve shown you more about myself than I ever have with anyone.”
“You just left some of the details out,” I said. “A lot of details.”
He grimaced. “I know. And all I can ask is for your forgiveness. And your understanding. I hope our friendship has earned me that.”
I sighed, feeling anger leaving my body. He was right. He deserved more than judgment. None of this was about me. He’d gone through a horrible ordeal, and all I could think about was being kept in the dark. It was actually quite selfish of me. “It has. I’m sorry. I’m just so shocked.”
“I get it.” He adjusted his position on the couch, turning to face me. “I have to go to L.A. tomorrow. To deal with all the legal stuff. There’s a probate attorney handling my father’s estate, and we’ve learned he left an inheritance for my sister and me.”
“Do you think he left you anything significant?” Esme asked.
“I don’t know. My sister said he set up trusts a long time ago, so they were protected legally.”
My phone rang. Madison’s school. “It’s school,” I said to Grady before answering. “This is Esme Taylor.”
“Ms. Taylor, this is the school nurse at Madison’s elementary. There’s been an accident on the playground.”
“What happened? Is she all right?” My heart clenched.
“She fell from the monkey bars. We think she’s broken her arm, possibly in two places. She’s in a lot of pain. We called an ambulance—she’s being taken to Willet Cove Memorial. You’ll need to meet her there.”
“Yes, yes, I’ll leave right away.” I hung up, and stood, legs shaking.
Grady rose to his feet, his complexion pale under his tan. “Is it Madison?”
“She fell off the monkey bars and broke her arm. In two places. They’ve taken her to the hospital.”
“I’ll drive,” he said.
I nodded. He grabbed my coat, my purse, moved me toward the door. The drive was a blur, just the back and forth of the windshield wipers to keep me grounded in reality. I kept seeing Madison’s face, kept hearing two places and in a lot of pain. My poor baby. She must be terrified.
And what was it going to cost? I had terrible insurance.
Catastrophic at best. Ambulance rides were not cheap.
And what if she needed surgery? I leaned forward, peering out the front window, my grip tight against the dashboard.
Time seemed to have slowed. It felt as if we would never get there.
Finally, the sign for the hospital appeared.
Grady pulled up to the ER entrance, and I jumped out before he’d fully stopped. The automatic doors slid open and I ran to the desk.
“My daughter—Madison Taylor. She came in by ambulance.”
The woman behind the desk typed something. “Yes, she’s here. I need you to fill out these forms and show me your ID and insurance card.”
“Can I see her first? Please?”
“As soon as you check in. It’ll just take a minute.”
My hands shook as I dug out my wallet. Grady appeared beside me with my purse—I’d left it in the truck. The receptionist made copies while I scrawled my name on forms I didn’t read.
“She’s in Bay 4. Through those doors, turn right.”
With Grady on my heels, I pushed through the doors into a hallway that smelled like antiseptic and floor cleaner. Bay 4 had a curtain half-pulled. Madison was on a gurney, her left arm cradled against her chest, tears streaming down her face.
“Maddie,” I said.
“Mommy, I’m sorry.”
“I’m here, baby. I’m here.” I grabbed her good hand. Her fingers were cold. “Don’t be sorry.”
“It will cost too much money,” Madison said. “And we don’t have any.”
I glanced at Grady, our gazes locked for a moment.
The nurse turned around to greet us. “We’ve given her some pain meds so she may get a little fuzzy.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“Hey, Sweet Pea,” Grady said, moving to the other side of the gurney.
Madison turned her head and saw him. “Hi, Grady.” Her bottom lip quivered. “I fell really far.”
“I heard.”
“I made it to the top this time.” Fresh tears spilled over. “Then I fell.”