6. Evvy
CHAPTER SIX
evvy
Eighteen days. That’s how long it’s been since Zack came crashing back into my life. Four days. That’s how long it took for me to stop correcting him on the use of my nickname. He’s been breaking down my walls and weaseling his way back into my orbit again.
I thought he’d give up on his mission and quit the volunteer gig, but he’s still here.
Every morning I clock into work, there’s a cold brew coffee and a pile of candy corn waiting for me at the desk.
He upgraded to a small compostable bag to hold all of the candy—very eco-friendly of him.
I’ve asked him repeatedly to stop bringing it, because I really shouldn’t be eating that stuff every single day, but did he listen?
Of course not. Now there’s a giant stash of it in my cabin, and it’s growing rapidly.
Things are really winding down around here, so I’ve been spending my time organizing our collection of rocks and minerals.
It’s set up like a mini museum for visitors to browse when they stop by the visitor center.
The collection was also used for my interpretive ranger programs that were offered over the summer.
My newest treasure is a gorgeous piece of watermelon tourmaline.
The bright pink center is surrounded by a green rim, looking just like the rind of its namesake.
As I place it in the display to admire its beauty, the large entrance door opens and Zack strolls in, eyes immediately zeroing in on me.
He’s almost finished painting the camping cabins and stops by at least once a day, regardless of where I’m working on the property. Today, he’s a bit later than usual.
With a proud grin, he holds up three paper bags stacked with containers. “I brought lunch.”
“Do you have a tape worm?” My hand gestures toward his mountain of takeout food. “That’s a lot, even for you.”
“We’re sharing. Come with me.” He motions toward the exit.
“No we’re not. I’m very busy today.” Avoiding eye contact, I busy myself with rearranging items in the display.
I’ve gotten used to his little visits each day, and a small part of me even looks forward to them.
I’ll never admit that to Zack because it’ll just go to his head.
Plus, every time I see him a terrible ache returns, a hollowness gnawing at my stomach from the unspoken truth.
It serves as a reminder not to let my guard down again.
Short visits are one thing but lunch feels… bigger.
Zack’s gaze burns a hole in the back of my head. I give in and turn around. His eyes lock onto mine as his lips pull into a small smile.
Let the staring contest commence.
Zack loses first. “You don’t look busy.”
“Looks are deceiving.”
“Okay, then I’ll wait.”
“Busy later too.”
“With what?”
“Rearranging pine needles on the trail. Very important business.”
“And after that?
“I’m taking up bear yoga. It’s all the rage in the woods these days.”
“Evvy.” He shakes his head with a laugh.
“Zack,” I deadpan.
“You know it smells good.” He waves the bag in front of me.
My stomach grumbles the moment the scent fills my nostrils. “Smells like warm bread and bad decisions,” I mumble under my breath.
“What was that?”
“I said my head’s full of indecision. Bear yoga or moose meditation? So many choices.”
He sighs. “Have you eaten anything today?” He waves the bags in front of me again.
“Yup. I’m good.” I actually didn’t pack lunch today, and we’re no longer stocking food here at the visitor center. A hunger pang hits me with another grumble, and I feel my resolve melting away.
“What’d you have?” He eyes me suspiciously, with a smug grin. He knows he’s winning.
“Candy corn.”
“Let’s go.” Zack walks out the door, and I allow my feet to reluctantly follow him into the sunshine.
We stop at a picnic table in front of the visitor center, and I blow out a breath. Sliding onto the bench seat, I watch as he opens multiple containers of pasta, meatballs, and garlic bread. It’s a whole feast.
“You always loved chicken, broccoli, Alfredo with ziti. But…umm…I wasn’t sure anymore, so I grabbed a few options.” He takes a seat across the table, passing me napkins and one of those little utensil packets.
“It’s still my favorite.” It comes out as a whisper. Why does he have to be so thoughtful? It just makes this harder.
“Great. Mine too.” He heaps giant servings of creamy pasta onto two plates, pushing one toward me with an encouraging nod.
Taking a small bite, my eyes squeeze shut, savoring the creamy garlic flavor explosion in my mouth.
The weight of Zack’s gaze falls heavy on me.
When my eyes open, he has a wistful look on his face, visibly swallowing, yet his food remains untouched.
Having him watch me eat is intimidating and intimate and really messing with my head. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
With his voice all gravelly and low he says, “Nah, I’ll just keep watching you swallow.” Then he barks out an uncomfortable laugh.
“You had to go and make it weird.” My eyes are about to fall out of my head from rolling so hard.
Most of the world sees the focused and determined side of Zack, but he always shared his lighthearted side with me.
I used to love his sense of humor, and he never failed to make me laugh.
But when his lips part as his eyes sweep over me, I get the sense he’s not entirely joking.
My thighs clench as he runs his hand through his hair.
“Sorry, I had too.” He shrugs, smiling.
“Did you though?”
“What can I say? You bring out the best in me.” Zack throws me one satisfied wink and my stomach betrays me with flutters.
“That’s your best? You used to set the bar a little higher.” I’m filled with regret the moment the joke leaves my lips. I’ve avoided talking about our past, but this just left him the opening he’s been waiting for.
He squirms and thankfully ignores my comment.
Zack brings a giant portion of pasta to his mouth.
“Fucking fantastic,” he manages to say between bites, before shoveling another forkful in.
“Need to enjoy this while I can. Once the season starts, I’m supposed to watch my diet.
” He gives his stomach a little pat. Zack was always in great shape, but he appears to have bulked up since college.
Corded muscles peek out from under his shirt sleeves, and although hidden, I have no doubt his abs are rock-solid.
“I don’t think watching your weight is something you need to worry about.” Me on the other hand… I’ve filled out since college too, but definitely not in the same way as Zack.
“Not my weight, but the trainers keep us on a strict diet. Making sure we’re getting the proper nutrition for peak performance,” he says, accentuating the last part with air quotes. “But does that mean you like what you see?” With the goofiest grin, he winks and waggles his brows.
Don’t laugh. My eyes roll, which only seems to make his smile grow. Don’t encourage it. “And when does the season start?”
“Training camp starts on Monday. Technically the first day involves medical evaluations and testing, but we have two weeks of formal practices before the preseason exhibition games start. The team’s required to dress at least eight veterans for games, so I’ll be playing.
I’m new to the team, so I feel like I need to be there for as many games as possible.
” Zack tosses a few meatballs and the garlic bread onto another plate, putting it between us to share.
So this means his time volunteering is coming to an end.
I’m feeling some sort of way about it, but it’s hard to place.
This whole experience has been beyond complicated for me.
And as though he can read my mind, he adds, “Sunday will be my last full day working around here, but I might pop by on my days off. There’s still some unfinished business.
” His eyes meet mine briefly and his features soften.
I let out a cough, patting my chest. “Oh…uh…are you excited for the season to start?” I push the pasta round my plate before looking back at him.
“Yeah. It’s my first real season with the team, and it’s always been my dream to play for Maine. Not everyone gets a chance to play for their home team.” He cracks open a can of soda, taking a gulp before his eyes settle on me. “I’m sorry. I forgot to give you your drink.”
He reaches back into a bag on the table, pulling out a lime seltzer.
It’s the same brand we always drank back in college.
These little memories bring both a sense of nostalgia and heartache.
Why bother to remember these little details about what I like after all these years?
After he threw it all away? But I don’t want to get into that right now.
We’re finally talking civilly, and there’s no need to rock the boat while he’s still volunteering here, so I squash the urge to go there today.
“Do you talk to any of your old teammates?”
“Yeah, the guys on my last team were great, but I wanted to be back here and I’m closer to my mom.
” Zack’s mother is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.
We spent a couple of weeks with her over winter break back in college.
She raised Zack all on her own, working as a nurse to support them.
She was so proud of Zack for playing hockey and he was always so sweet with her.
I’m a little sad I never got to see her again after everything fell apart.
“And I hear from Jeff occasionally. He’s playing for Boston now.
” Jeff was one of Zack’s teammates back in college.
They used to be very close, so I’m not surprised to hear they stayed in touch.
Jeff dated my best friend Bailey, and I can’t say he was my favorite person.
They broke up shortly after Zack left, and Bailey and I moved to California.
Willows College is a small private school in Salem, Massachusetts.
Zack went there for the division one hockey team and I went there due to my obsession with Halloween.
Yup, I picked my college solely because it was in Salem.
Growing up in Chicago, I always wanted to experience fall in New England.
Both of my parents died when I was a teenager.
My mom had cancer, and my father suffered a heart attack a short time later.
He stopped taking care of himself, and I suppose he quite literally died from a broken heart.
I stayed with a neighbor until I turned eighteen.
Then I graduated and booked a one-way ticket to Massachusetts, never looking back.
There are so many amazing memories from my time at Willows, most of them involving Zack, but now they’re stained with sadness from the reality of how it ended.
College isn’t a safe topic for our casual lunch.
Lost in my own thoughts, I’m pulled back to reality when I hear the rapid tapping of Zack’s fingertips on the table. Our eyes meet and his shoulders fall. “Where have you been, Evvy?”
Before I can answer, Felix rides up on his ATV.
He hops out, straightening his neck as he nears the table.
His eyes dance between me and Zack. “If I knew you were going to be a distraction to my employees I might have reconsidered your volunteer duties.” He lets out an arrogant chuckle, eyes narrowing at Zack who’s shooting back daggers of his own.
“Kidding, of course. I know you’re on break.
Enjoy it, but I need you back in fifteen minutes.
There are new reports to review for the trail expansion.
We need it done by tomorrow, so we’ll work through dinner.
I’ll order something, so don’t worry if you can’t finish lunch.
” He waves a hand dismissively over the food and heads toward the building.
Turning, he calls back over his shoulder, “See you soon!”
“That guy’s a creep, Evvy. I hate him.” Zack points forcefully in Felix’s direction. “I don’t like the way he talks to you.”
“He’s my boss, Zack. If he says I need to go back to work, then I need to go back to work.” I shrug. Felix never used to be this demanding. In fact, he used to let me manage my own time, but his attitude has shifted over the last couple weeks.
“He has a thing for you.”
“He absolutely does not. It’s just work.” I laugh, because that’s just ridiculous.
“He looks at you funny, and I’ve noticed the way he hovers around you. He’s always staring. Please be careful.”
“He’s not dangerous.” Maybe he’s a pain right now, but I’ve never felt threatened by him.
“He’s manipulating you into having dinner with him.” Zack’s gaze flicks toward where Felix entered the building.
“Isn’t that what you’re doing right now?” I throw my hands in the air with a huff. His lack of self-awareness is appalling.
“This is different.” He shifts under my stare, knowing I’m unconvinced. “You know…never mind.” Zack rubs his face before looking back up at me. “Just promise me you’ll be careful.”
It takes all my willpower to fight the urge to tell Zack he’s being ridiculous. I know he’s making an effort, in his own weird way, so I let it go. I should win a prize for biting my tongue. “Okay, I will. But this is my job, so please…just cool it with him.”
“When am I ever not cool?” He raises a brow, flashing a smug grin that I’d like to wipe off his face.
“Ugh…just ugh, Zack.” I bury my face in my hands.
“You love it. I bet you’ll miss me when I go back to practice.”
I rise from my seat, glancing at Zack one last time. “I got used to missing you a long time ago.”