9. Zack
CHAPTER NINE
zack
The sound of omelets sizzling in the frying pan cuts through the typical silence of my kitchen.
I used to love cooking. I was pretty fucking good at it, and Evvy loved watching me create new dishes.
The memory of her laughter still rings in my ears.
She always said the sight of me, a big-ass hockey player, bouncing around my tiny old kitchen was comical.
After that, things changed. Cooking for one felt like a chore and only made me painfully more aware of her absence.
I started going out to dinner or ordering delivery once I signed my first contract and had some extra cash.
Cooking this, knowing it’s for her, feels like coming home.
“Zack?” I hear Evvy say hesitantly as she rounds the corner into the kitchen.
It’s only six in the morning, but I couldn’t sleep.
The shock of nearly losing her, combined with the fact that she was in my freakin’ house, kept me awake all night.
I had to pull my sheets up high and tuck myself in tight to trap myself in bed, resisting the urge to check on her.
I was dying to see her, but watching her sleep would be creepy.
With my luck, I’d scare her away after the first night.
I tried to balance offering support with giving her space.
She asked to go to sleep the moment we got here, so I set her up in a spare bedroom and gave her a change of clothes.
“Hi,” she says, glancing at me quickly before letting her eyes fall to her feet.
She’s got that messy bun piled high on her head again, and her left cheek is red from where it was pressed into the pillow.
But the best part? She’s wearing my sweatshirt like a nightgown, and my giant socks sag around her ankles as they swallow her feet whole.
It’s adorable, and she’s so effortlessly beautiful it hurts.
My cock inflates as my eyes soak in the gorgeous sight in front of me.
I’ve missed seeing her like this. The circumstances suck, and I’d give anything to go back and prevent this from happening to her, but I’m glad she’s here with me and not with her asshole boss.
“Good morning, you look nice today.” I peer over my shoulder after flipping the omelet, watching her hop onto a barstool at the kitchen island.
“Zack!” she drags out my name in a warning. “Friends, remember?”
Oh, I remember alright. Right after she agreed to stay here, she made me swear it was temporary and that we’d just be friends. I’ve also been banned from discussing the past. We even shook on it like some sort of terrible business deal.
Given the fact that she hated me last week—and maybe still does—I'll take her offer of friendship any day. I agreed to her terms without any hesitation, but like when I was a rookie signing my first contract, there are downsides I hadn’t considered.
Being her friend sounds like a good thing, but it won’t be easy.
I never saw Evvy as a friend and frankly never will.
She was always so much more. She was my entire world. She is my entire world.
I’m hoping she will slowly come around to discussing where she’s been for the past thirteen years. I need to know what happened between us. It’s haunted me forever.
Evvy’s friend. It’ll take some getting used to, but the important thing is that I’m going to be here for her in whatever way she needs me.
She’s still glaring at me after the compliment I gave her. “What? I only spoke the truth. I can’t lie to you, Evvy.” When I look back, she’s rolling her eyes. “Friends can tell each other they look nice…just sayin’.” A laugh rumbles out of me as she lets out a deep sigh of resignation.
Leaving my spot at the stove, I grab the pitcher of cold brew coffee from the fridge and pour her a glass. Her eyes light up when I place it in front of her.
“Thanks,” she says with a smile before chugging it down. Evvy taps the countertop next to her glass. “Hit me and make it a double. Just keep ‘em coming.” She takes a long sip, letting out a little hum of enjoyment.
So adorable.
“Want an IV drip?” I refill the glass.
“Brilliant idea! Then I can get the anxious jitters in only half the time.” She smiles, taking another sip of coffee.
“Be right back,” I tell her before quickly running to the pantry and returning in record time. I stand in front of her with my hands behind my back, hiding the surprise that really isn’t much of a surprise anymore.
The serving of candy corn has grown over the last few weeks and seeing it brings me a ridiculous amount of happiness. I had to switch to a bigger bag to hold it all. Dropping it next to her coffee, I step back and wait for her reaction.
She shakes her head as she examines her latest delivery of pure sugar.
“As much as I love candy corn, this is getting to be too much, even for me…and that’s saying a lot.
” She opens the bag and takes out a single piece, popping it into her mouth.
Her eyes close as she savors the little reminder of Halloween.
“But it’s your favorite. You can never have too much.”
Evvy and I were geology lab partners back in college.
We got off to a very rocky start…pun intended.
I thought she was going to rip my head off when the professor assigned us to work together.
She already hated me due to an incident on campus involving a water cooler, which I don’t want to think about at the moment.
However, she also assumed I wasn’t going to take this class seriously.
I signed up for geology as a fun elective because I was interested in it, but she wasn’t convinced.
During our first lab assignment, I got her talking enough to admit how much she loved Halloween, fall, and candy corn.
At the next lecture, I plopped myself into the empty seat next to her and gave her a bag of candy corn as a peace offering.
That was the moment she started to let me into her world.
Many people hate candy corn, but to me it’s perfect; it reminds me of Evvy.
“It may be my favorite candy, but there’s no way I can eat all of this.” She picks up the bag, moving it up and down to demonstrate its weight. “I’m just one person, and I also like my teeth.”
“Then save it.” I pull a clear giant glass jar from a nearby cabinet and carefully place it on the island next to Evvy.
“This should work,” I say, removing the lid.
There's plenty of extra space in the jar, because if she hasn’t figured it out already, the amount she gets daily will keep growing. Hopefully.
The sound of candy clinking into the bottom of the jar fills the room as I plate our omelets. I place one plate in front of Evvy and take a seat next to her with my own food. The silence is deafening as we sit side by side, me eating and Evvy pushing her food around her plate.
“Do you not like the omelet?” I’d be willing to make her anything she wants.
“No, it’s great.” She takes a small bite, turning toward me as she swallows, like a kid proudly showing she ate the last piece of broccoli on her plate. She offers a small smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
By the time I’ve finished my food, Evvy has only managed a few bites. She’s spent more time looking at her food than eating.
“I need to run out for a bit, is there anything I can pick up for you?” I slide off the barstool and collect her plate, scraping the uneaten food into the barrel.
“I’m fine, Zack. You don’t need to do anything for me while I’m here.
And hopefully they’ll find a solution at the park so I can get out of your hair soon.
” Evvy’s eyes are on me but I can tell she’s not really here.
She’s lost in a faraway place that only she can see.
I hate to leave her like this, but I need to stop by practice and talk to Coach.
“You need clothes and…everything else. We don’t know when they’ll be able to retrieve your things from the cabin.
If you want, I could take you out shopping later, or you could borrow the car.
” I gesture toward the driveway, but the pained look on Evvy’s face tells me I’m fighting a battle I can’t win today.
“Could I just borrow another sweatshirt today?” she asks cautiously, as if I would potentially deny her request.
“Of course. Take anything you want.” Whatever she needs she gets.
* * *
Less than a half hour later, I find Evvy lounging on the living room couch.
Days like today make me thankful I live five minutes from the training center.
Years ago, one player built a house on a private road and sold off the other lots to his teammates.
Many of the guys now own homes on this road, and if they don’t own a house here they crash with another player who does.
After I was traded, I bought a house from a guy who had just retired and moved back to his home state.
I never thought I’d live in a neighborhood made up entirely of professional hockey players, but it’s pretty cool.
It’s nice having a place where we can just be ourselves and also be so close to the training center.
So much of our time during the season is spent traveling, so not having to commute for practice is something I’m looking forward to.
Evvy’s head pops up when she hears me drop some shopping bags onto the kitchen counter. I make my way over to the living room and sink down on the opposite side of the couch, angling so I have the perfect view of her.
“That was fast. Aren’t you supposed to be at practice? You have training camp, right?” She lifts a brow.
“Yeah, but I’m taking a couple days off.”
Evvy drops her head, focusing on where her hands are clutching the bottom of my sweatshirt she’s still wearing. “No, Zack. You can’t do that,” she whispers.
“I already did. So apparently, I can,” I point out with a chuckle, but the laugh is lost on her.
“You’re the new star center! You can’t miss practice for…for this!” She gestures with one hand, waving it over herself.
“Evvy, look at me.” She hesitates before tilting her head up ever so slightly. “Right now, my thoughts are centered on you. Not hockey. Not anything else. They’re centered on you, just like they always have been.”
“But…” The words die on her tongue before she can finish her thought. “That’s…” She tries again, but her voice catches on her for a second time, refusing to cooperate.
“The NHL requires teams to give players two days off during training camp, and Coach Beryl is letting me take them consecutively. I stayed for most of practice yesterday, so that won’t count as one of the days.
I’ll be off until Friday, and even then I’ll only need to go for a couple of hours. He’s being very understanding.”
“I’m fine, Zack.” She offers another empty smile before biting her bottom lip. “You don’t need to risk your career for this.” She points at herself again. “I’ll manage. I’ve been managing on my own for years. You don’t need to swoop in and try to save me now.”
Managing isn’t living. I don’t want Evvy to manage. I want her to thrive. I want her to be happy and to feel loved. She’s been through so much, and I’m determined to prove she can trust me to be there for her.
“I know you don’t need saving, and that’s not what I’m trying to do.
You’re the strongest person I know. I just want to be here, okay?
” She nods and goes back to clutching the sweatshirt.
“So what would you like to do today?” It’s her choice—anything she wants.
“Want to go for a drive?” Scenic drives are my favorite activity to do in Maine and she used to love them too.
“Not today. Sorry.” She shrugs and her shoulders sink from the weight of everything she’s dealing with.
“Don’t apologize. We can do whatever you want, and if you want space, that’s okay too.” I offer her a comforting smile.
“It’s just…I just…ahhhh! I don’t know why this is so hard!
” She swallows. “I’m trying.” She rubs her temples like she’s trying to conjure the right words.
“The world just feels a little too heavy right now. I made an emergency appointment with my therapist for tomorrow. We’ve been meeting virtually.
I usually just need one appointment each month, and things have been good, but this… ”
I’m glad to hear she’s still seeing a therapist. She’s always lived with anxiety. But hearing that she’s struggling now after doing so well wrecks me. I feel a little helpless. “What do you need, Evvy?”
“I want to stay inside. Here.” She peers up at me, sucking in a shallow breath. “If that’s okay with you.”
“Of course.” Seeing her like this kills me. I wish I could take her pain away, but I can’t.
The air is thick with the tension of unspoken words. I’ve always had an urge to fill the silence, but I’m learning that’s not what Evvy needs. And that’s okay, because you don’t need to say anything to be there for someone. You just need to show up for them, so that’s what I’m doing.
We sit quietly for some time and I focus on the sounds of Evvy’s shallow breaths. Eventually, her breathing steadies and the tension in her shoulders dissolves.
Evvy blows out a final relaxing breath and looks at me. “I think I’m ready for a distraction.”
And I think I know just what she needs.