13. Zack
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
zack
As much as I love visiting my mother, I spent the day counting down the minutes until I could return home to Evvy.
I texted her about picking up dinner, but she said she had it covered.
It still blows my mind that I have her phone number.
This was my first full day away from the house and I resisted the urge to text her nonstop.
I usually have no chill, so I should get an award for showing some self-restraint.
I also resist the urge to yell, “honey I’m home,” as I walk through my front door.
And it’s a good thing I do because I open the door to find my friends… with Evvy.
The same friends I asked to stay away. Yet, here they are hanging out with her.
No one notices me standing in my entryway.
They have music blasting and Bax is doing some ridiculous dance moves.
Evvy and Josie are standing nearby, throwing their heads back with laughter.
She looks so fucking happy. I am so relieved, and happy for her, but a tiny part of me wishes it was me making her laugh.
Her eyes pull away from Bax and land on me. “Zack!” She runs over to me, sporting a huge smile. “I met your friends.” She waves at everyone. “We’re friends now too!” She laughs and her whole face lights up.
Josie runs over next. “I made margaritas!”
“Shhhh!” Laughter bubbles out of Evvy as Josie pulls her back toward Bax, and they join him in his weird little dance.
I join Nate, Brent, and Marsh on the couch. They sit in silence, staring at me, waiting for my reaction. “Someone want to explain what’s going on?”
“Evvy caught the rookie raiding your fridge.” Brent points behind us toward the kitchen, as if that explains everything.
“And?”
“We had to meet your girl,” Brent says with a laugh. He reaches forward, grabbing a plate of nachos off the coffee table. The table is loaded with all kinds of food. Evvy wasn’t kidding when she said she had dinner covered.
“She’s not my girl,” I groan. My stomach grumbles from the delicious smells. I grab a plate, loading it up with nachos and a few tacos.
“But you want her to be.” Nate winks. “And I think your chances are good. Right, Marsh?”
“I don’t know, this seems like a lot of work to get a girl.” He shakes his head. “Fake mission and all.”
Brent laughs. “You’ll want that too someday.”
“Keep dreaming.” Marsh takes a swig of his beer before elbowing Brent in the ribs.
“Evvy and Josie really hit it off.” Brent tilts his head in their direction.
We watch as the two women dance with Bax.
He drops to the floor and does the worm, sending them into a fit of hysterical laughter as they watch his antics.
My heart squeezes seeing her so carefree.
“And the rookie’s loving his audience.” That’s an understatement.
“He always has an audience,” Marsh grumbles.
“What was that?” I smirk at him.
“He’s just pissed because Bax got more attention than him at the bar.” Brent laughs before patting Marsh on the shoulder. “There, there, it’s okay the rookie upstaged you.”
“Fuck off. He’s a terrible wingman!” Marsh gestures toward Bax. “If you think he’s so great, then you take him out next time!”
“I don’t need a wingman. I have a wife.” Brent’s eyes flick to Josie.
“How many numbers did he get?” Nate raises a curious brow, clearly trying to rub it in.
“Don’t wanna talk about it.” Marsh sets his beer down on the table and crosses his arms.
Bax hops off of the floor and grabs Evvy’s hand, spinning her around before passing her over to Josie. The two women hold hands and spin in circles, singing along to a song I don’t recognize. She’s so filled with light and I can’t take my eyes off of her.
“You are so fucked,” Marsh says to me.
“What’re you talking about?” I return my gaze to my plate of food, taking a giant bite of taco.
“I think he means the way you look at her is the same way I look at Josie,” Brent says with a knowing smile.
“Just like I said, you’re fucked.” Marsh picks up his beer and tips the bottle toward me with a smug grin.
“She’s it for me,” I admit.
“Have you told her that?” Brent looks from me to Evvy.
“Are you crazy? The only reason she’s here is because a tree fell on her cabin. She won’t even talk to me about why she broke up with me in the first place.”
Evvy’s eyes land on me and her lips pull into a smile. Just that simple reaction has my heart pounding. Marsh is right, I am fucked. Evvy’s always been my entire world, and I’d give anything to be part of hers again. I guess slow progress is still progress.
“Did you see that?” Brent nods toward Evvy. “There’s your hope.”
* * *
Bax is the only one left at my house. Marsh and Nate headed out first, and Brent dragged a reluctant Josie home shortly after. The rookie can’t take a hint. He's having a one-man dance party as Evvy watches intently.
“Bax, I think Brent is looking for you.” I motion toward his house.
“No he isn’t. I didn’t hear anything.” He continues gyrating to the music. “Did you hear anything, Evvy?
“Nope,” she says with a laugh.
“Bax! Brent needs your help,” I say slowly, punctuating each word with a nod of my head, hoping he can still understand subtlety after all the margaritas.
“You’re right!” He turns to my stereo system, switching the music to a slow song. “I need to go.” He gives me an exaggerated wink before wrapping Evvy in a bear hug. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye!” Evvy squeaks.
The door shuts and Evvy stands in front of me at my place on the sofa. “I like your friends.” She gives me the biggest smile. I don’t know how many margaritas she’s had, but tipsy Evvy is talkative. And tipsy, talkative Evvy is truth-teller Evvy.
“And they like you.” If I had known she’d hit it off with them so quickly I never would have issued the ban on visiting my house. I didn’t want to push her into my world too quickly, but I should have known my friends wouldn’t listen to me anyway.
“But you don’t like me.” She frowns, dropping her head.
“Of course I do. Why would you say that?” Does she really think that?
She ignores my question. “Come dance with me!” Her face lights up again, as though this is the most exciting idea she’s ever had. “Let’s dance! Now, Cap!”
“I don’t see any captains here.” Pretending to look for someone, I twist my head toward the far corner of the room. “Nope, just us. Sorry.”
“Very funny, Zack,” she says with a little foot stomp.
“You know that’s your old nickname. Once a captain, always a captain.
” Evvy waves her hand around, as if that will prove her point.
Most of my teammates in college called me Cap, and Evvy liked to use it occasionally too.
But it was usually a joke in the bedroom.
Evvy reaches for my hand as I stand. “See, was that hard?” She presses her face to my chest as my heart pounds erratically against my ribs.
I hesitate before gently placing my hands on her back and she drapes hers around my neck.
My skin burns beneath my shirt from the heat of Evvy’s cheek.
Death by spontaneous combustion was not something I ever considered, but it’s felt like a real possibility ever since she’s come back into my life.
We sway to the music and the rest of the world melts away. The last time I danced with Evvy like this was at a party in college, during the before times. Before my world came crashing down.
“Evvy?”
“Mmm,” she hums, pulling her head back just enough for her eyes to meet mine.
“Why would you say I don’t like you, sweetheart?” She frowns again, and I brush my thumb over her cheek. “Do you really think that?”
“You hid me from your friends because you’re embarrassed of me. Same reason you left me before.” She shrugs her shoulders before placing her head back on my chest.
My stomach twists as I’m hit with a wave of nausea. She can’t really think this. “Evvy, I didn’t leave you.”
“Oh, yes you did! Everyone leaves me.” She laughs, reminding me that as much as I want to know what she means, she’s in no condition to have a serious conversation tonight. But I can’t let her go one more second thinking I don’t care about her, even if she doesn’t remember this in the morning.
“I like you a lot, Evvy. I need you to remember that.”
“Then prove it. Kiss me.” She looks up at me again, daring me to prove her wrong. And even though she has no idea how long I’ve wanted her to ask me to do just that, it’s not going to happen tonight.
“I can’t kiss you tonight, Evvy.”
“Told you so.” She shakes her head against my chest.
“Evvy, sweetheart?”
“Mmm,” she hums again.
“Look at me.”
Her eyes meet mine, and I wish so much I could give her what she’s asking for. “I can’t kiss you tonight. But if you ask me again tomorrow or any other day, I’ll kiss you. You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you, but I need to know that’s what you really want, and right now, I’m not so sure.”
“Oh, okay,” she says with a shrug.
We continue dancing before Evvy decides to dish out some more truths. “Your friends said that you like me.”
“And I told you that’s true.”
“Marsh said you don’t shut up about me, but I said that can’t possibly be true.
Then Nate said you haven’t shut up about me since you were both drafted to the team in Canada.
” Evvy keeps rambling so fast I can’t get a word in.
“And I said that’s definitely not true, because you left me so you could be free and probably fucked a lot of other people.
You wanted to sow your oats, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Which is why I was afraid to date you in the first place.
You never wanted a girlfriend. Can’t have a girl tie you down!
Especially me! Because I wasn’t future WAG material…
still not WAG material. But I stopped arguing with them because Nate kept insisting.
And then Marsh said we were sickeningly sweet.
And I was like, dude you’re wrong again. ”
My heart clenches in my chest at this truth bomb.
To hear that Evvy felt this way for thirteen years is fucking with my mind.
My heart aches for her. She thinks I never cared about her, which is so far from the truth.
I want to explain everything, but she’s not going to remember this.
This is going to be a difficult conversation to have because she’s always so guarded with her feelings.
Every time I try to talk about our breakup she changes the subject or shuts down.
I mean, we technically never had an official breakup.
She just ghosted me, or so I thought. Now, I’m not so sure.
Evvy rests her head back on my chest, letting out a deep yawn. “I think it’s time for bed, sweetheart.”
“Okay. Hey, Zack? Are you sure you can’t kiss me tonight?” She looks up at me with a shy smile.
“I’m sure.” Evvy drops her hands to my chest, and I gently wrap my hand around her wrist, running my thumb over her little black cat tattoo.
“That’s nice,” she says with a sigh.
“Yeah, it is.”
“But no kiss.” She wags her finger in front of my face before bopping me on the nose. “No kissing, Cap!” She says with the cutest little laugh.
“Not tonight, but ask me again, okay?” Evvy nods before letting out another yawn. Here’s hoping she asks me again soon, because thirteen years is too long to go without feeling her lips on mine, and I don’t want to waste another second.