16. Evvy
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
evvy
“Are you sure you’re okay carrying that?” Zack walks beside me with a giant wooden box full of apples perched on his shoulder. It’s the second box that we’ve filled. He was on a mission to rid the trees of every apple.
“Evvy, you think I can’t carry a little box of apples?” He flexes his other arm, showing off his muscles, stifling a laugh at his own expense.
“I don’t know. You are kind of old for a hockey player. I don’t think your coach would want you doing this.” I point to the apples. “Career death by apples wouldn’t be a good way to go out.”
“Calling me old again? Wow, Evvy. Just for that, I think we need to add some more apples. There’s clearly space at the top of this pile. See?” Zack reaches above him and plucks another apple from a high branch, carefully adding it to the top of the pile.
“Such talent.” I grin when he looks down at me.
“This?” He tilts his head toward the box. “This is nothing, want me to juggle them?” His smile is cocky as he picks another apple and waves it in front of me.
“Hmmm. That could be fun to watch.” Especially because I’m ninety percent sure he has no idea how to juggle. He may be coordinated when it comes to hockey, but I don’t think that provides any transferable skills for juggling apples.
“Would it impress you?” He waggles his eyebrows at me, causing all my blood to rush to my core. Even when Zack’s being absurd my body responds to him.
“Nope. Sorry.” I try to hold back a laugh, but a little squeak escapes from my lips. Zack flashes me a knowing smile as we make our way back to his truck. “I think we have enough to feed your whole team, and it smells like rain anyway.”
Zack loads the basket into the bed of his truck and covers it with a tarp. “Smells like rain? Your nose can predict the weather? Amazing!”
I give him a playful nudge with my shoulder, but he’s like a brick wall and doesn’t even budge an inch. “Ouch, why are you so solid?” I pretend to rub my shoulder, and Zack stares at me with the biggest grin. “What?”
“Nothing.” He chuckles. “You’re right. It looks like it might rain. We should hit the road so we can make it to my mom’s house before dinner.”
Zack opens the truck door for me. I start to climb inside but turn and lean against the door frame instead. “One thing I’ve been wondering…”
“What’s that?” Zack drapes one arm over the truck door, his gaze fixed on me.
“Why weren’t there any other customers here today?
” I didn’t notice it at first, but after a while I started to get suspicious.
When we first arrived, there was no one else at the little farm stand.
I thought maybe we were just early and the crowds would come later.
But it’s a Saturday afternoon in peak apple picking season and there’s no one else here.
Zack’s lips pull into a shy smile, and he drops his chin to his chest. “So, you noticed?”
“Did you do this?” I stretch my arm out, waving over the empty field .
“Yeah, I kind of umm…” Zack clears his throat. “I rented it for the day.” He lifts his eyes to meet mine as he taps his fingers on the truck door.
“You rented the whole orchard?” I repeat, trying to make sure I’m understanding correctly.
“Yeah.”
“Zack! You shouldn’t have done that! I can’t imagine what that cost this time of year. We could have picked apples with other people.” It’s too much, and yet, I’m still so confused about…everything. He hides me from his friends but rents apple orchards for me?
“It was totally worth it. We made up the price in apples.” He laughs nervously.
“Why, Zack?” I whisper, looking up at him. “Why do this?”
“Back in Fiddlehead Ridge, we live in our own little private world. When I’m in public outside of town, I tend to attract a lot of attention.” He shakes his head, frowning. “Man, that sounds conceited.”
“No, I understand.” I do, and I don’t. I understand what he’s saying, but it’s hard for me to remember that he’s a famous hockey player.
I’ve never experienced the reality of his public life, so this is all new to me.
He was popular in college, sure, but not NHL-star-famous.
To me, he’s just Zack, not Zack Shayle, legendary hockey center for the Maine Meteors.
“I wanted this to be a nice day and not risk having it ruined by people asking for signatures and pictures. Not that I usually mind that…I just wanted a normal experience for once.” He gazes at me with a sweet smile.
“And selfishly, I wanted you all to myself.” Zack tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, sending a surge of butterflies to my stomach.
“Oh, okay.” Smooth Evvy, real smooth. I stare at my boots for a moment, questioning if I heard him correctly. Does that mean? I’m still lost in my own world when the rain starts.
“There may also be a giant pile of pumpkins waiting for us back at the farm stand.”
“How many?” I shake my head. If it’s anything like the apple situation he probably bought enough pumpkins to decorate the whole neighborhood.
“Enough.” He grins. “Anything for my Halloween girl.” He holds my gaze, not saying anything, and suddenly my knees feel weak. I sink back into the truck.
My Halloween girl. I’m not imagining it.
“We should get going.” Zack shuts the truck door and rushes around to his side to escape the rain.
* * *
We’re about an hour into the ride, and the weather has been progressively getting worse. “How much further is it to your mom’s house?”
“About forty-five more minutes,” Zack answers, but his eyes don’t leave the road.
The rain is coming down so hard that the wipers are struggling to keep the windshield clear.
After a few more minutes, the wind picks up, howling and whistling around us.
My stomach begins to feel hollow when I see the pine trees swaying and dancing along the edge of the road.
Keep it together, Evvy. My throat feels dry, and I’m suddenly wishing I had grabbed a can of seltzer for the road.
“Doing okay?” Zack asks, glancing at me quickly before returning his attention to the road.
“Yup.” No.
We make it a few more miles before it starts hailing. Ping pong ball-sized chunks of ice rain down on the truck, bouncing off of every surface. It sounds like someone is unloading thousands of marbles onto the roof.
“Oh, shit!” Zack quickly pulls the truck off to the side of the road. The hail is coming down so hard it’s impossible to see. At the same moment, the wind picks up with so much force the truck begins to sway.
I’m trying so hard to hold it together. Breathe.
Count, Evvy. One, two, three. In through your nose…
out through your mouth. With a loud crack, a branch falls somewhere in the nearby forest. An involuntary shriek escapes my lips and I begin shaking.
My heart’s racing, feeling like it’s trying to leap out of my chest. I was nearly crushed by a tree, and now it’s happening again. I can’t die like this.
I suck in a breath, but it’s like trying to fill a balloon through a straw.
Not enough air. My fingertips start to tingle as I take panicked, shallow breaths.
A big, warm hand covers mine, stealing some of my focus.
Zack unbuckles my seat belt and gently tugs me toward him.
Suddenly, I’m pressed into his side with his muscular arm draped tightly around me.
“Hey, Evvy, I’m here. You’re not alone, okay?” I’m starting to see spots, unable to control the hyperventilation. “Tell me what you see? I see the leather seats, the steering wheel, and my favorite person. What do you see?”
“Umm…” I’m shaking but his arm is keeping pressure on me like a weighted blanket. “I see hail.” I suck in a few rapid breaths. “Your radio.” The spots are fading. “I see your hand.”
“Good, Evvy. That’s good. What do you feel?” he asks quietly.
“I…I…uh…” I let out another gasp. “I feel my feet pressed to the truck floor.” I’m able to take in a longer breath this time and then blow it out slowly.
“I feel your arm.” Another breath in and out.
“I feel your rough fingertips.” Zack is gently tracing the outline of my little black cat tattoo.
I think it comforts him as much as it does me.
“What do you hear?” He continues to gently glide his fingertips over my skin.
“Rain. I hear rain. The hail stopped.” I take a deep breath, holding it for a moment before blowing it out as slowly as possible. “And it’s quieter. It sounds like the wind is dying down.”
“Yeah, it is.” Zack shifts his arm, giving my shoulder a little squeeze. “And tell me what you smell.”
“I smell you.” A tiny laugh escapes my lips before I take another deep breath through my nose, inhaling a scent that’s distinctly Zack.
“Woodsy. Reminds me of the forest…maybe cedar? And something spicy, like pepper or cardamom? You smell like you.” I’m able to let out another small laugh when I hear him hum his approval.
“Pretty close. Maybe you should rethink your career and become a cologne sniffer.” He removes his arm from my shoulders and shifts his body to face me. “How are you feeling now?” He looks down at where we’re still connected, his thumb still absentmindedly tracing my tattoo.
I take another deep breath. “So much better. Thank you, Zack. You were always good at that.”
“Anytime. I’ve got you, Evvy. I’m here.” He reaches over, swiping his thumb over my cheek to wipe away the tears I hadn’t even realized were there. His eyes stay on mine for what feels like an eternity, and the fluttering in my stomach returns.
My brain is so confused by the sudden flip from panic to something else.
Something that happens every time I’m in Zack’s presence lately.
But this? This was so deeply personal it’s mind-altering.
Back in college, Zack helped me through a panic attack during our first lab quiz.
We weren't even dating yet, and he had no idea what he was supposed to do, but he was there for me. He talked me through it and held me. Afterwards, he asked what he should do if it ever happened again—and he just did it. Zack remembered what to do after all these years. It’s just as meaningful this time as the first time, and it’s making my heart swell.
Zack gives my hand a squeeze. “You sure you’re good?”
“Yes,” I whisper. “The storm just caught me off guard. After everything with the tree at the cabin, this was just…triggering. This situation has been difficult, but I’m working on it.”
“You’re so strong, Evvy. And whatever you need, I’m here.”
“Thanks.” My heart squeezes as his fingers brush over my wrist once more before pulling away.
“Anytime. The storm stopped, so we should get going.” He turns back in his seat and buckles himself in before pulling back onto the road.
I watch as Zack’s fingers tap against the steering wheel. His eyes stay locked on the road as we continue our drive. I’m trying to process everything that just happened, knowing we’re about to spend an entire night away at his mother’s house.