Thirty-four
Sarah
My stomach growled as I waited on the front porch.
Between packing and working, it had been a grueling week.
Hours and days blurred together. I’d had an apple for breakfast that morning and hadn’t stopped for a meal ever since.
The term hangry fit the bill, and my frustration ticked up and up as Jackie’s impending arrival inched closer to fifteen minutes late.
Standing on the porch with nothing to do was my idea of torture.
My fidgeting hands and tense breaths turned into stamping feet and frustrated sighs. I wanted to get out of the house, eat dinner, and have a good time already. I hated being here. Anywhere was better than here.
I couldn’t linger too long in the hallway outside Peter’s home office because I’d remember the way those warm brown eyes flicked over a page of numbers without ever having to pull out a calculator.
I’d remember the way he’d twirl his pen over the top of his hair or gently chew the inside of his lip when he focused.
Sometimes, I would sneak into his office when he worked late just to watch him.
And when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I would ask a silly question to break his focus.
“Whatcha doing?” He always cracked when I did that.
He’d drop the pen, lean back, and lace his hands behind his head with a smile that turned me into a puddle.
But that Peter didn’t exist anymore.
I had to remind myself of that over and over and over
Finally, a car pulled in. It was a black sports car with blue lights underneath that left a circular pattern on the concrete driveway. Loud music pulsed from the bass speakers, setting my teeth on edge.
Immediately, I backed to my doorway and reached for the handle. I pushed my front door open and glanced back just in time to see Jackie stepping out of the passenger’s seat. She laughed. “Hey! It’s just us.”
Us?
She hadn’t told me she was bringing someone else to dinner.
I turned, making my way down the front walkway to the car. Jackie wore black pants and boots and a slouchy white tank top.
Jackie stepped forward and held out her arms to hug me. I went into them and hugged her back. “Whose car is this?”
“Well,” she tipped her head to the side, “I actually have a boyfriend now.”
“Oh! When did this happen?”
“Just a few days ago. So, it’s pretty new and he wanted to hang out tonight. I hope it’s alright that I invited him along.”
“Sure,” I said but struggled to hold my smile. “Where’d you meet him?”
“Tinder, actually. We’ve been talking online for a couple weeks and met up for the first time last weekend.” She opened the front passenger’s door again and pulled a lever on the seat to push it forward, providing the tiniest gap for me to squeeze through to get into the back.
I hesitated with indecision. Should I drive on my own?
I didn’t want to sit in the backseat, and I didn’t know this guy.
What if they wanted to stay out later than I did?
My first massage was at the fitness club at seven in the morning.
But, hating to be rude after they came to pick me up, I slipped through the gap and adjusted my knees away from the back of Jackie’s chair as it slid into place and made me feel claustrophobic. I had to practically sit sideways.
Jackie plopped in and called over her shoulder. “Sarah, this is Andre.”
Andre lifted his gaze and looked at me through the rearview mirror.
His hazel eyes held mine for a fraction of a second before turning to his gear stick and pushing the car in reverse.
He had short, cropped hair and wore a leather jacket.
A diamond stud pierced his ear and a tattoo stretched over the back of his neck.
For reasons I didn’t understand, my skin prickled. I didn’t like him. At all.
“Nice to meet you, Sarah.” His voice was silky. “Thanks for letting me join in.”
I wanted to tell him I didn’t let anything, but held my tongue for Jackie’s sake.
She turned in her seat to look at me. “So, I know we were talking about going to that winery, but I think I have a better idea. Want to hear it?”
My heart churned with anxiety. “Sure.”
“So, not too far away is this courtyard type thing where there are a lot of food vendors, an outdoor bar, live music, and dancing. And we can all choose whatever type of food we want. I’ve never been there but Andre goes all the time and he says it’s awesome. Do you want to try it?”
It took all my self-control to hold back an indignant snort.
At least I was being asked about this change of plans.
Couldn’t she see I was dressed for a winery?
I had a flowing teal skirt and white turtleneck sweater.
By the time we ordered food, the temperature would steadily drop and it would get cold outside.
Plus, I’d been on my feet all day and didn’t want to stand in line at a food truck.
I wanted to plop into a quiet booth and nibble bread and sip wine while I waited for a medium-well steak that I would eat with A1 sauce and a buttery potato.
I opened my mouth to say no, but stopped short when I realized that Jackie was basically the only person I had in my life at the moment.
Last night, she’d gone to that fancy rooftop club with me and she’d called and texted to check in on me every day.
She’d even showed up at my house and stocked my freezer with Ben and Jerry’s despite me insisting that I didn’t need break-up ice cream.
She had been a really good friend when I’d needed one and I hated to do something that would put us at odds.
For all of Jackie’s quirks, she was an invested sister and took an active role in the Thompson family. Genuinely, I was thankful. And also concerned? Because Andre smelled weird and gave me the creeps. Maybe I could return all her kindness by watching out for her tonight.
Forcing a smile, I said, “That sounds great.”
Jackie gave a soft squeal of excitement and turned back to face the road as Andre whipped his car out of the driveway.
I balanced a flimsy container of Thai food on my lap, trying hard not to let the curry sauce dribble onto my skirt as I shoveled angry bites into my mouth.
Thai cuisine would never be my first choice, but it was the food vendor with the shortest line which I assumed meant it would have the fastest service.
Boy, was I wrong. I waited at the counter for my food for twenty-five minutes, and by the time I sat down with Jackie and Andre, they were over halfway done with their dinner and on their second round of drinks.
We were situated on tiered paths with benches that faced an outdoor stage where an extremely sub-par band covered country songs about beer and hook-ups.
We just so happened to visit this venue on a western night and everywhere I looked there were cowboy hats, glittering belt buckles, and bedazzled boots.
It was funny to me to watch all these city folks pretend to be cowboys.
When they sang All My Exes Live In Texas, I thought of Peter’s phone numbers and accidentally stabbed my fork through the bottom of the styrofoam to-go box as the lyrics cycled through women’s names.
Chasing my dinner around, I stabbed another hole, pouring my rage onto an innocent piece of baby corn.
The three of us made a little small talk but the volume of the music made it hard to converse.
Not that I really wanted to talk to them anyway.
Jackie had had many boyfriends over the years.
Her black cat vibes typically attracted super nice guys though and, of the ones I got to meet, my favorite was Henry.
I cried when he broke up with her a couple years ago.
Of course, Jackie brushed it off and acted like their split was no big thing, but based on the fact that she hadn’t dated anyone for longer than two weeks ever since made it look like she still had feelings for him.
Andre had his hands all over Jackie, constantly touching her lower back and possessively curling his arm around her.
When they finished their dinner, his hand slid up her thigh, dangerously close to touching between her legs.
I wanted to throw my Thai food at his face.
What was Jackie thinking, letting him get that close to her? My mind was blown.
Peter and I waited so long to touch and kiss each other that the idea of a guy encroaching on my upper thigh after knowing him only days sent anxiety skittering through my chest. Granted, maybe I was comparing apples to oranges because Peter and I were kids at the time.
I was fifteen when Peter gave me my first kiss and we weren’t intimate until much later.
Jackie and Andre moved to the ground level to dance while I worked on my food and watched from my place on the bench. The way he looked at her…a shiver of disgust climbed over my skin. He was a man in lust. I lost my appetite.
Jackie waved me down a couple times to dance with them and it took all my self-control not to lift a middle finger as my answer.
Determined to choke down my last few bites of food for calorie’s sake, I took a big forkful.
But something long and stringy stopped my chewing, and I grimaced as I pulled a long black hair out of my mouth.
I gagged, officially done.
Stomping over to the trash can, I relieved myself of the oily container. I wound my way through the crowd to a condiments bar and wiped my hands with a napkin. Not wanting to wander through the crowds by myself, I meandered back to our place on the bench and plopped down.
Bored, it didn’t take me long to pull out my phone.
Meadowbrook Ranch had a new story posted.
Tapping it revealed a selfie of Bea, a woman with black curls who I was ninety-percent sure was Meadowbrook’s vet, and the new foal, Nutmeg. The text read, “Baby Nutmeg’s meconium impaction is all clear. Thank you @pennyhall_dvm!”
Recently, all the stories had been about little Nutmeg.
Not Peter, obviously.
On our brief phone call today, Bea had said he struggled the first couple days Tag forced him to work but that he was doing a little bit better now. I was thankful to Tag and wondered what a “little bit better” looked like, but maybe it didn’t matter anyway.
In moments of weakness, I considered unblocking him. But then I remembered the disgusting picture on his phone and realized he’d must’ve given his number out at the bar. And I thought of the “naughty” comment. And the stack of napkins. And the kiss.
That zapped my compassion faster than it could materialize.
A while later, when I was practically falling asleep sitting up, Jackie and Andre came up from the dance floor and urged me to walk around the venue with them.
I was fairly certain Andre wanted another drink and Jackie just felt bad I was sitting alone.
So I heaved myself up and followed them through the maze of stands, food trucks, and attractions.
Andre purchased two beers from a vendor right as Jackie spotted a mechanical bull in the middle of an inflatable. She turned to me with a wild look in her eyes—all fire and mischief behind her dark brown irises.
“Sarah, let’s do it!”
Peter’s snotty response when I suggested riding a mechanical bull flooded my mind. I thought about all the notifications he was probably getting from our Google Sheet as I checked off adventure after adventure. Did they bother him?
A smile curled into my cheeks as I said, “Hell yeah. Let’s do it.”
I couldn’t say I enjoyed riding the bull. It was slightly terrifying, and I lasted a pathetically short amount of time before being hurled into the air. And thank goodness I had leggings under my skirt, because I got tossed—head over heels.
Of course, Jackie was a natural and creamed me in the spontaneous challenge. But, after that, I politely asked Andre to take me home. Even though he smiled and said yes, I could see the annoyance in his eyes. He wasn’t ready to leave.
He put his hand on the small of Jackie’s back, aggressively urging her toward the gate of the venue.
Jackie tried to laugh it off, but I could tell he made her uncomfortable.
When they pulled into my driveway, Jackie was forced to get out of the car and push her seat forward so I could make my escape. By default, she walked me to the door.
Fishing my house key out of my purse, I turned to her. “Do you want me to take you home, Jackie?”
She frowned with a laugh. “Why would I want that?”
“I don’t know…I just thought you might not want Andre to know where you live?”
“He picked me up.”
“Oh. Right. That makes sense, I guess.”
She asked, “Do you not like him or something?” My insides iced over. Even though I loved Jackie like a sister, she could be very…intimidating.
Swallowing down my fear, I decided to tell her exactly what I thought. Maybe a family member’s opinion would protect her from doing anything careless. I glanced toward the car, happy to see him looking at his phone. “He doesn’t have good vibes, Jackie. I’m kind of worried about you.”
She scoffed, rolling her eyes a little. “Okay. Thanks for worrying, but I’m fine. It’s not like I’m gonna marry the guy.”
“Still, Jackie. He seems…” My words trailed off.
“Seems what?” She bit out.
“Seems like he only wants one thing. He had his hands all over you.”
“Maybe I want hands all over me—did that idea occur to you?”
No, it hadn’t. Jackie might’ve been different from her family, but she still held—or at least she used to hold—Thompson family values.
And the Thompsons weren’t into hook-ups.
They had been raised to look for a spouse, not a fling.
“You don’t have to be defensive, Jackie.
I just love you and want you to be careful. ”
“I’m always careful.”
“But you usually don’t pick guys like him.”
She laughed. “Well, I guess my standards had to give a little. Sue me. If I have to wait for the perfect, marriage-material man then I might as well join a convent and be a freaking nun.”
I took a sharp breath. “Does this have anything to do with the fact…” When my words lagged, she waved her hands like yes? “With the fact that you miss Henry?”
She tossed her head back, incredulous. “Why would you even ask me that? Of course not.” Her answer was so perfected that I would’ve believed her had she not averted her eyes. Had a hard swallow not tugged at her neck. “Henry is so far off my radar…it’s laughable…” Her voice lost stamina.
She tossed me a patronizing smile, pretending to be unaffected by my disapproval. “Listen, you’ve got enough to worry about right now. Don’t waste your energy on me. I’m having a great time.”
Andre gave a little honk from the drive, startling us both.
Quickly, she stepped forward, pulling me in a quick hug. We said our goodnights and they zoomed down the street.