21. Darcy
21
DARCY
“ I can’t sell it to you,” I said, spinning around to face him. I saw his face fall as he took in the words, and I felt a stab of guilt as I saw that I had disappointed him.
“I get it,” he said. Callum walked his guitar back to the case and began packing it away. He was avoiding my gaze as he did it. “This place is important to you. I understand you don’t want someone coming in and replacing it with a whole other business.”
“I didn’t say that,” I said, stepping closer to him. Callum looked up from where he was bent over his guitar case, snapping the latches into place. I forced myself to hold back the smile I felt bubbling inside of me, but I think he saw my smirk because he stood up, his face suspicious.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I just said I can’t sell it to you. But that doesn’t mean we can’t come to some sort of agreement.”
Hope flashed into his eyes, and I saw a smile spread across his face.
“An agreement, huh?” he asked. “What sort of agreement?”
“How about a lease?” I asked. “You can rent the building from me. And I’ll give you permission to make the renovations.”
“I see,” he said. Callum stepped closer so we were inches away, the heat building once more between us. “So, I get to pay you rent and pay for the renovations? What sort of deal is that?”
“The deal I’m offering,” I teased, trying to keep my voice stern as we played at this negotiation. Callum’s hands reached out to my hips, and he pulled me against him so my legs pressed against his.
“You’re a tough negotiator,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He bent down and kissed me, pulling my hips further into him. I was desperate to melt into this embrace and see where it would lead us, but a small voice in the back of my mind told me to exercise restraint. We hadn’t finished with the business arrangements, and I needed to be sure Callum understood what I was agreeing to before we celebrated.
I pulled away from the kiss and tried to step back, but his hands held me tight. He looped his fingers through the belt loops of my jeans and put on a goofy grin that told me he wasn’t about to let me go.
“We have more to talk about,” I said, attempting to keep my voice firm. I was trying to be responsible and act like an adult instead of some excited teenager who was only thinking about making out.
“So, talk,” he said with a little shrug. I looked into those dark eyes and the hair that was always falling into his eyes. I brought my hands up to his chest and playfully pushed him away.
“Not like this,” I laughed. “I can’t think!”
“Then how?” he said. “You tell me how you want to negotiate!”
There was an ease and an openness to him that made me feel giddy as I spoke to him. Callum seemed lighter somehow, and I couldn’t help catching that sense of excitement and possibility that seemed to radiate out from him. He seemed genuinely excited about turning this place into something, and I started to feel hopeful that I would get to come along for the ride.
“Come to the office,” I said. My dad’s office hadn’t been used in ages. I pictured the paperwork piled up on the desk and the bankers’ boxes that cluttered the floor. But it was somewhere we could sit and put a bit of distance between us.
“Lead the way,” he said.
I turned and crossed to the back, trying not to worry about how I put each foot in front of the other. Knowing Callum was right behind me, watching me, made me feel like I no longer understood how to move my body. I pushed away the impulse to look back over my shoulder and simply continued past the checkout desk and shoved my way through the door that was marked “Staff Only”.
I couldn’t help thinking about the first day Callum was in the hardware store. I remembered the lights clicking off and fumbling my way back to the utility closet. I remembered the excitement I felt to know he was standing so close behind me, shining a light on the fuse box. And I remembered that first kiss ...
I shook off the memory and crossed into the office, feeling Callum directly behind me. The office was even messier than I remembered, with tons of floor space taken up with my dad’s paperwork. I knew cleaning out this office was a project I would need to tackle soon but, in that moment, I simply pretended not to see the boxes precariously stacked around the room. Luckily the desk was relatively clean, and I took a seat in my dad’s faded-leather rolling chair. I could smell Callum’s aftershave as I sat down, the scent wafting out around me.
“We should make it official,” Callum joked from the doorway, though I wasn’t sure what he meant. Suddenly he knocked on the doorframe, as if I didn’t know he was standing there.
“Excuse me, I’m here to discuss a leasing opportunity with you.”
Callum bent his head down to play the submissive and eager tenant. I rolled my eyes at him.
“Just sit down,” I laughed. “You’re being ridiculous.”
He rushed in and took a seat across from me. I saw him glance around at the room with amusement.
“I know, I know,” I said, catching his gaze. “I need to clean it out. I just haven’t gotten to it yet.”
“Now I know why you don’t want to sell,” he said. “You can’t face all the cleaning!”
“It’s definitely part of it!” I said, and, though it was a joke, there was truth to it. If I sold or even rented the store, I would have to get rid of all the items inside of it. Suddenly I was thinking about weeks of cleaning and sorting and throwing things away. Logistics such as dumpsters and rental trucks started flowing through my head.
“I can help with that,” Callum offered, as if he could read the worry on my face. “You don’t have to clean it out by yourself.”
“Thanks,” I said, giving him a small smile. I felt a sudden sadness at the prospect of it all. “It’s something I should have done a long time ago.”
Callum nodded at me, and I was grateful for the sympathy I saw on his face. But all this talk of cleaning made me realize we needed to discuss timeline.
“Speaking of the cleaning,” I said, “it’s going to take me some time to clear this place out. I don’t know when it will be ready to hand over the keys.”
“That’s alright. We can go at your pace. I don’t want to rush you into anything.”
The words felt too apt for our own relationship, or whatever this was brewing between us, and I looked away from his intense gaze.
“Maybe by the end of the summer we’ll be ready to start on the renovation,” he suggested.
“I’d like some say over things,” I said, looking down at my hands that I held clenched in my lap. “I know this recording studio is your dream, but I’d like to see more detail on what you plan to do with the place. And maybe give some input.”
“Of course. I don’t want to do anything you don’t approve of. I really do want to keep the magic of this place. We should make a place we’re both proud of.”
I looked up at the words, surprised by how open he was being.
“You look surprised,” he said. “Were you expecting me to fight you?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I thought you might want more ... creative control or something. Or free reign of the place.”
“I don’t need free reign,” Callum said. He was gazing back at me, and his voice sounded serious, as if he needed me to understand something. “You’re giving me a great gift here, Darcy. I’m not going to take advantage of that. You can be as involved as you want to be. If you want the final say over every decision in the place, then just say the word!”
“Please, no!” I laughed. “I have enough things to worry about with my own business. But I’ll appreciate being kept in the loop. And having a glimpse of the plans before you start constructing walls or knocking things down.”
“Of course. And the rent—no friends and family discount or anything like that. You have a mortgage to cover and taxes to pay. You should charge me accordingly.”
“No mortgage,” I said, shaking my head. “I think that was paid off by my grandfather. We own the building outright.” I stopped myself as I heard the word: We . With my dad gone, there was no “we” anymore. It was just me. The building and everything inside was my responsibility. Well, mine and Callum’s if he agreed to renovate the place.
“Even so,” Callum said, “a place like this, right on Main Street, should have a competitive monthly rent. And God knows I can afford it.”
“I don’t think that’s a good thing to be admitting to your new landlord,” I laughed.
“My landlord?” he asked, mischief in his eyes. “I like that.”
There was innuendo in his voice, though I didn’t give myself time to think about what he was getting at. I was still wrapping my head around how this might work and what I needed to make him understand before we shook hands on this deal or wrote up an agreement.
“Don’t get too excited,” I scolded. “I want to make sure we’re not making a mistake here. We might be crazy to get into this.”
Callum shrugged, brushing aside my comment.
“I’ve done a lot of crazy things in my life.”
“No, I’m serious,” I said. I felt a churning unease in my stomach as my mind started to imagine everything that might go wrong. What if we started this project and we disagreed on what should be done to the space? And did committing to this project mean committing to Callum? And then there was that date all those years ago. Callum had abandoned me once—how did I know he wouldn’t do it again?
Before my mind could spin out into terror, I took a breath and tried to ask him.
“Getting into something like this ... it’s a commitment. And it’s something we should both be ready for.”
I was pleased that my voice didn’t shake as I got these words out. I kept my eyes on Callum’s face, trying to read his expression, but he looked stoic. His characteristic smirk was no longer on his face.
“I’m serious about this, Darcy,” Callum said. “I meant it when I said I was ready to settle down. That there are people here I care about and that I want to be with.”
His gaze was intense, and it seemed like he was telling me he wanted to commit. Did he want to give whatever was between us a chance? But I couldn’t stop wondering if I could trust him. I couldn’t stop thinking about the past and the times he had let me down.
“And what if that changes?” I asked. My voice was small as I said it, filled with uncertainty and the fear of pain. I forced myself to look at him and, when my eyes caught his, Callum stood up from his seat. He put his hands on the edge of the desk to lean closer to me.
“I’m not running away, Darcy,” he whispered. “I’ve been running away from my past for far too long. It’s time for me to see what’s right in front of me. It’s time for me to see what’s been staring me in the face for all this time.”
He was inches away from me, and I felt a flutter of warmth flush through me at his words. I couldn’t speak. Instead, I leaned forward and pressed my mouth into his, finally allowing myself to say yes to the man standing in front of me.