Chapter 12 #3
Later that night, I call my brother and tell him to widen his and the elders’ search to include any known magick or artifact that can transfer life force from one being into another.
“Life force?” Elgar says incredulously. “That sounds much more serious.”
“It’s already affecting her. We need something to stave off the effects. Have the elders shared anything from their search?” I already know the answer. He would have told me immediately if they did.
“No,” he grumbles. “They are being as unresponsive to me as they are to you. Something is wrong. They meet in secret, according to my sources. Others have noticed how reclusive they have become. It worries me, Norrell.”
I sigh, running an unsteady hand through my hair. “Ask Mother and Father to approach their families to try to get any information about what they are doing. This concerns me too, but I am not abandoning Ada again.”
“I would not expect you to. They will help me investigate,” he confirms.
Not wanting to miss any possible avenues, I dial Dean Esmeralda Jurado’s number next. I have not spoken to her since she told me about Ada. No doubt she has been kept updated, but she will appreciate hearing this new development from me.
“Norrell!” she exclaims happily. “I’m so thrilled to hear from you again. Are you still attending the safety council? I hear it’s wrapping up.”
“Hi, Esmeralda. Yes, I am still here though I am no longer attending their meetings. They moved onto practical security measures to protect their havens and people. That is no longer my concern,” I explain.
She huffs a laugh. “Well, I’m sure anyone can see you’re not there to discuss the ins and outs of multi-layering wards. How has it been going?”
“It has been complicated, which is surely no surprise to you. I assisted Niven and his team with the fae. They could manage without me, but at much greater risk. Niven needs to be fully focused on finding answers. The fae told us some disturbing information today. It is stealing Ada’s life force.
Somehow it is still able to absorb it from her while in containment.
It is worse when we must bring it out. It sickens her when we do so.
This fae is unbelievably powerful. Mayhap even more than the ones we occasionally find wandering the Arctic,” I recount.
“That sounds dire, Norrell. I won’t sugarcoat it,” Esmeralda remarks.
“I’ve combed through our archives the past few weeks focusing on the loss of magick.
I’ll keep it up. There may be more out there about stealing life force.
That is a term used in old texts describing passing through the realms. It’s unusual in our contemporary lexicon.
This fae may be quite ancient if it knows such spells.
They have probably been long forgotten by witches or hidden away for good reason.
It’s a despicable use of magick. I’ll redouble my efforts.
The library will have something, I know it. ”
“Thank you. You are a true friend to her.”
“Stay strong for her, Norrell.” Her parting words stick with me.
After finishing a few final tasks in Ada’s front lawn, I step inside to find Ada and Aurelia reading quietly in the living room, curled up on opposite sofas, each with a cat on her lap.
Aurelia reaches for her mug of tea while she eyes me entering the room.
Earl Grey blinks awake momentarily at the movement.
“You look cozy,” I observe as I stand in the doorway.
“They followed us in here after breakfast. Vanny finally wanted my attention again after Aurelia’s lap was already claimed.” Ada scowls exaggeratedly at the cats.
“What are your plans for today?” I ask them mildly. I do not want Ada to feel like I track her every move, though I do.
“I’m just getting my daily dose of this love bug until I’m due at today’s meeting. I should be off soon. If only I could stay here with the boys.” Aurelia pouts theatrically and begins to coo affectionate nonsense at the cats.
Ada sighs. “Nothing much. I took the day off work. But maybe that was a mistake. Work might help me forget everything that’s going on. It might be harder to face it all… here. Being at home… is not the most peaceful place for me right now.”
I would draw her up in my arms if I could. But I know that is the problem. I say instead, “I understand. I put you in a difficult position.”
Her expression softens slightly. “Yes, that’s part of it, but not all of it. I’m not as upset by your presence here anymore.” That is a huge step forward that I should take care not to jeopardize.
Aurelia grows noticeably quieter as we speak.
She abruptly stands, the cat now in her arms. “Earl Grey and I have some important cuddling to do before I get ready. So we are going to head upstairs now.” A blush creeps into Ada’s cheeks as Aurelia flutters her fingers in a little wave before stepping out of the room.
I wait until Aurelia is out of earshot before I respond. “I knew it would be upsetting to see me after everything I did. I am sorry for costing you your peace in your own home. When I heard, especially how it happened, I had to be here. It felt like my presence could turn the tide.”
She eyes me dubiously. An understandable reaction considering our past. “That’s awfully convenient for you. Well, Niven seems to think you’re indispensable now. I’ll take that for the ringing endorsement it is.”
“How about we take a walk along the beach today. It might help clear your head,” I suggest.
She gazes down at Vanny who has settled into his long morning nap. “Alright,” she agrees as if she’s speaking to him. “Let me change and we’ll head out.” She gingerly moves him onto the cushion before standing up. He does not seem to notice.
When she returns to the foyer wearing a different outfit, she pulls her long garnet hair back with a tie.
Her white forelocks streak symmetrically across the sides of her head.
It has always been a compelling contrast. I let my gaze linger on her thick hair and the delicate lines of her ears and neck now exposed to me.
She wears a loose light sweater and linen pants that cut off at the ankle.
She hands me the keys to her Wagoneer, another good sign.
It is a short drive to the cleared-off parking area next to the dunes.
We walk in step, though wordlessly, as we take the path to the long sandy beach.
We used to come here on the occasional morning and beachcomb during those two wonderful years here together.
Sometimes we would find fossilized shark teeth, colorful spiraling whelk shells, and sun-bleached sand dollars.
Even the occasional live starfish we would try to rescue when it was stranded by the lowering tide.
I could jump right back in to that closeness with her, though I do not hold out hope it is the same for her.
Watching the waves crashing toward shore, she quietly comments, “I think Cyrinda, Tallie, and Aurelia are leaving soon. The council is quickly wrapping up. They’re all anxious to get home. You and Niven are welcome to stay as long as you need to.”
“That means a lot to me, thank you,” I respond evenly. It makes me immeasurably happy to receive such an invitation.
“Aurelia may miss the boys as much as they’ll miss her,” she notes with a chuckle.
“I will give them extra love after she goes,” I assure her.
Her eyes scrunch as she smiles unguardedly at me, a sight I haven't seen in fifteen years. “They’ll appreciate a warm lap to cry on,” she jests.
“I spoke with Dean Jurado last night. She says hello,” I mention.
“Esmeralda. She left me a message after …” Ada trails off. “I forgot to call her back. I hope she’s well. I haven’t kept up with her as much as I meant to since the academy days. You’ve stayed in touch with her?”
“Periodically,” I clarify. “Her mentorship was so valuable to me. I did not want to leave that behind completely.”
“Oh.” Ada sounds crestfallen. Walking back through my words, I see why. “I’m sure she was glad for that.”
“Ada, I did not mean…”
She sweeps her hands in front of her, interrupting me. “Sorry, I’m just being sensitive.”
“Do not apologize for how you feel. Call me out when I say something thoughtless,” I try to reassure her.
“We’ll never get anywhere if all I do is call you out,” she disagrees.
“We will, regardless,” I tell her honestly.
She purses her lips. “It isn’t doing me much good to dwell in the past. It brings me more sadness than anything else.”
“You should not let it. You have a life full of meaning and many friends to share it with.”
She smiles wanly, looking down at her bare feet treading over the sand. “In some ways, yes. In others, not really.”
“Ada,” I nearly groan her name. Her eyes fly to me.
“I should have never pursued you, knowing what could have happened. What did happen. I was too consumed by you to pull away. It was entirely my fault. I should have protected you from it. Kept you free of me to find and be happy with someone else without all the pain I caused.”
“I don’t know if there would have been someone else. Not really. It’s been a long time, Norrell. I haven’t met him yet if he was out there. I would have been open to it. You didn’t totally break me,” she says joylessly.
“You were it for me. Always. No other female ever interested me. My heart and soul were already claimed. There was no room for anyone else, ever. Not in my heart, not in my bed,” I admit.
“I don’t want you to think I would send you away if you had a life after me,” she challenges. “You took over leadership in your clan. Certainly, that comes with expectations.”
“Mayhap for others. But I warned them who they were getting to lead them if they forced my hand,” I reveal.
“Who did they get?” she wonders.
“A male with no warmth or sympathy for anyone or anything else. One who will do his job ruthlessly to make up for the guilt he carries every day. One who will not be cowed into any further demands from anyone, even the elders. Especially them. It was my punishment to them for what they forced me to do as much as it was punishment to myself,” I describe in accurate detail.
“That doesn’t sound like the male I knew, even if he didn’t treat me very well some of the time,” she remarks.
“No, he stayed in Monstera Bluff with my heart,” I confess.
“Norrell,” she says softly, chastising.
“It is the truth,” I reiterate.
“I’ve been angry at you for so long. But I wouldn’t have wanted that,” she divulges.
“It is what I deserve. I will never be able to fully make amends.”
Her brows knit. “Don’t put it on me like this to forgive you,” she counters.
“No, I do not want or expect that. I am mad at myself and the path my life has taken,” I clarify.
“I can understand that,” she empathizes. “I never thought my life would look like this either.”
“I will stay for the long haul to help you through this. Whatever it takes. My clan can fester for all I care at this point if they are unwilling to accept my brother’s leadership.
” It is a truth I have realized since coming back here.
The life I want is not there. They are not my people anymore.
Your people should not want you to sacrifice yourself.
Her expression turns introspective, her gaze returning to the horizon. We walk a while before she speaks again. “There’s a lot we will both have to come to terms with. It’ll take more than a few pretty words to hash this out.”
“I am here for as many conversations as it takes,” I vow to her.
The remainder of our walk is much quieter.
We stop periodically so she can dig her toes in the sand and watch a pod of dolphins breaching above the waves.
We are at ease with each other again and the stroll becomes companionable.
After finding a few flawless shells Ada cannot leave behind, we eventually turn around and return home to make lunch.
There is a lightness between us that has been missing since I arrived, marking the turning point I have been longing for since I reentered her life.