34. Ava
Jaxon holds my hand the entire walk to the warehouse I didn’t even know existed. Nausea creeps up my sternum, and I attempt to push it away without any luck. Oh, God. What am I doing?
His eyes focus on the side of my face, giving my fingers a light squeeze. “You don’t have to do this,” he says carefully. “We can turn back. It’s okay to change your mind.”
Once the guards come into view, I realise how protected the building is. It gives me a small sense of security. I pause before the door and inhale so deeply that I almost fall over. Jaxon stabilises me and kisses the back of my hand.
“If you want to leave at any point, we can,” he reminds me, and I flash him a forced smile.
Inside, I’m a wreck. Blood roars in my ears, and my mouth is bone dry.
Every time I consider walking away, I remember what Gemma told me earlier about how closing this door with a firm slam could help my recovery. I know she will be there if it triggers me—Jaxon, too. I’m in safe hands. I have been since he brought me here; I just didn’t want to believe it at the time.
“They’re going to be behind bars and chained to the walls. They won’t be able to get anywhere near you,” he says, but I can barely focus on what he’s saying.
Everything makes my head spin, and I’m pushing down the bile that crawls up my throat. “I want to get this over and done with.”
“Okay, baby,” he says.
I let him guide me into the warehouse and down to the basement. In each corner, there is a guard. Jaxon nods at them, and they greet him with his title. We stop behind a door, and he gives me one last glance. “You ready?”
“Yes.”
He pushes the door open with a quick shove. I step inside after him and find myself facing large metal bars and the grimiest dungeon I’ve ever seen. The smell of sewage makes nausea curl inside me like a rotten egg. But the thought quickly passes when my eyes fall on Lucien.
I’m frozen in place for a few seconds until Jaxon squeezes my hand. Breathe, he reminds me. Breathe, Ava.
I do as he says because I am incapable of a single thought right now.
My eyes flick over Lucien as his legs are chained to the wall at his ankles, but there is a large flow of blood trickling down his thigh, a wound so big I can see his insides.
I finally focus on his face to find his dark eyes in tight slits, aimed straight at me. My knees wobble at the intensity of his stare, but he can’t hurt me from here. He can’t hurt me ever again.
My free hand balls into a fist to stop it from shaking. I don’t want them to see my struggle. I am strong. I can do this.
After a few moments of composing myself, I finally look over at Damon and heave at the sight of his face. What makes it worse is that he has the audacity to smirk in my direction. My chest tightens, and I pray I don’t start to panic—not here. Not in front of them.
Jaxon gives my hand another squeeze, and I love that he keeps reassuring me that he’s here. I’m not alone. My lips part, and I release a shuddering breath as I focus on the third person in the cell.
I frown when I see a small boy bundled up in a ball in the corner with his head tucked into his knees. My heart cracks. Evan?
“You vile creatures are lucky to even still be alive right now,” Jaxon says suddenly, which makes me jump out of my skin. He smooths over the skin on my hand with his thumb once more.
Damon smirks with his scarred lips. “Came for another visit, sweetheart?”
I hold my breath. Jaxon steps forward. “Keep talking, and we’ll see how long I can keep you alive while I carve you apart.”
My eyes hold onto Damon’s stare, and I shake my head. No. No. He isn’t going to taunt me. He isn’t going to make jokes on his deathbed.
“Let me in there,” I shout.
Jaxon’s head whips to me quickly. “What?”
“Let me in there.”
“What are you thinking, Ava?”
I chew on the inside of my lip hard enough to draw blood. “Ask the guards to hold them back. The pair of them. I know I’m safe. Aren’t I?”
His eyes waver for a second. “Are you sure?”
“I’m positive,” I say, even though my gut is flooded with tremors.
Jaxon curses softly before gesturing to the guards to open the bars and hold Damon and Lucien. I take two steps to the entrance before looking at the floor. It’s now or never. This is the only chance I’ll ever get.
I walk towards Damon first. The sight of his face makes me want to run. I refuse the horrific memories to haunt me. I only allow this new thought of knowing they’re about to be killed in the most gruesome of ways. His lip continues to curl as he eyes me up and down.
I have the upper hand. I have the upper hand.
“You coming back for more, pretty girl?” he grunts with a wink. “You used to scream for me to stop–”
My knee raises and connects with his groin so hard I think it might split him in two. The loud groan of pain gives me a burst of satisfaction. Before his legs can buckle, I raise my knee and do it again, twice as hard. I use every ounce of frustration and hatred I have for this man who ruined my life.
He cries out, struggling against the two guards who refuse to let him go. “Fuck you, asshole,” I snap. “You will never touch me again. Especially after I make Jaxon chop everything off.”
My heart pounds in my chest like an alarm, but I hold onto the adrenaline that is coursing through my veins. I turn towards Lucien who is staring at me from under hooded eyes. I glance down at his wound and grit my teeth. He deserves worse than I’m planning.
I lean down and stick my fingers into his open wound, scissoring them as quickly as possible. His blood leaks down my hands as I push the wound wider. I’ve never heard a man scream the way he does. “You fucking bitch!”
“This is not even a fraction of the pain you made me feel,” I spit through my teeth. “But I know your fate will be worse than mine. Jaxon will not take it easy on you. I hope he makes you suffer until you’re pleading for him to finally kill you. It’s what you deserve.”
Lucien growls, “I should have killed you when I had the chance.”
I dig my fingers deeper, and he cries out to the ceiling, gritting his teeth together to relieve some of the agony. “You should be very,” I push harder until I hit bone, and he hisses, “very scared.”
“Fuck you.”
“It’s not nice being helpless, is it?”
My eyes burn, but I will not shed a single tear for them. I stand, ripping my fingers from his wound. My entire body trembles as I balance back on my feet and walk out of the cell.
I don’t meet Jaxon’s eyes. I exit the dungeon and rush up the stairs until I can see sunlight. My eyes glance down to find my entire fist covered in his blood. Once I hit the fresh air, I take down a large gulp, shaking uncontrollably.
My throat tenses, and I buckle. I drop to the floor on my hands and knees. Bile shoots up from my stomach and lands on the forest floor. I groan at the acid that burns my insides and makes my body slump forward. Jaxon is behind me in an instant, tugging my hair into his hand and rubbing circles on my back.
It was only a matter of time before my stomach decided to empty itself, but I did it. I faced them, and now, I’ll never have to see them ever again. I’ll never have to worry about going back to that hellhole.
“I got you, baby,” Jaxon whispers.
My abdominals clench, but nothing else comes up. I groan and wipe my mouth with my clean hand. Then, I start sobbing. Fresh, hot tears fall down my face. Jaxon rolls me into his side and wraps me up in his large arms, cradling me close to his chest.
“It’s over.” He kisses my head. “You did it. They will be gone by tonight, okay? I am so proud of you. I know this is hard, but you did it because you are the bravest person I know. I am so grateful to call you my mate.”
I sob harder at his words and latch onto him.
“I hate them. I hate them. I hate them,” I chant breathlessly.
Lucien’s blood is everywhere. The thought makes me gag, and I need to get it off now. I can’t bear another second, knowing it’s on me.
Jaxon takes off his jacket. “Here,” he murmurs, noticing my distress. He begins wiping at the blood with the material, but my skin is stained. I watch him ruin his jacket for me, but I’ve never felt more relieved. “Is that better?”
“Yeah,” I whisper.
We sit amongst the leaves for a while until I pull myself together. Jaxon studies me carefully. “Come with me.”
He slides his hands under my arms and tugs me onto my wobbly legs. I wipe my face. “Where are we going?”
“Somewhere to release all this anger.” He threads his fingers through mine, and we begin walking deeper into the woods. “It might help.”
Once we reach a large boulder, he bends down. I stare at him with a raised brow. “What are we doing?”
“I’ll boost you up.”
I don’t protest. He hooks his hands together, and I wedge my shoe into his palms before he hoists me up without a struggle. I claw my way to the top, and he joins me the next second.
“Now what?”
“Scream.”
“What?”
“Scream,” he states again. “Let it out. All of your negative emotions. To the top of your lungs.”
I blink once. My eyes scan the trees and the deserted forest. No one is out here.
With one last determined nod, my lips part, and I scream so loud that my ears almost burst. I clench my fists at my sides and let everything out until I need to take a breath. My body is vibrating when I turn to Jaxon with a wide gaze.
“Feel good?”
“Yes,” I admit with a pant. Holy. That felt…incredible.
“Again.”
I scream and scream until the birds flap from the trees.
The next time I do it, Jaxon joins in with me, and our choir of chaotic voices fill the air. I imagine every breath is a wave of my anxiety I’m removing from my life.
I won’t let them take control anymore. I’m in control.
My throat burns but in a satisfied way. I slump back, letting my shoulders droop. I never knew something so loud could help me in this moment.
“It makes me feel alive,” I admit.
“I read up on scream therapy.”
“I’ve never heard of it, but I approve.”
Jaxon offers me a simple smile that calms the blood in my veins. But everything is far from normal. They’re still here…and Evan. My heart twitches, and I close my eyes. He shouldn’t be here. He’s the only reason I’m alive. I owe him everything.
“You captured Evan,” I murmur. “Please don’t hurt him. He didn’t do anything to me.”
His expression hardens. “He’s Lucien’s brother, Ava.”
“He’s not like them. I promise you. He got me out. He probably got hurt because of me. He deserves better. He’s only a kid. Please, Jaxon.”
“I’ll focus on him later,” he dismisses my pleas. “He’s not a priority. You are.”
I swallow back the lump in my throat. “I’m okay.”
His brows raise as if he knows better. “We both know this is going to take some time for you to adjust to, Ava. Please, let me focus on you for the next few days.”
A sigh escapes my lips. There is no point arguing with him when he’s like this. I’ve seen the protective side to him, and I know he will go to the ends of this earth to make sure I’m okay.
“Can you get him some food and water?” I ask. “He deserves that at least. He deserves more.”
Jaxon stares at me for a long moment before nodding. “Okay. I’ll make sure he’s seen to once the others are gone and I have a chance to think about it.”
“Thank you.”
He jumps down from the boulder and holds out his arms. “Jump.”
I do because I trust him. He catches me effortlessly in his muscly arms and carries me back to the pack house. I lay my head on his shoulder and inhale his scent. My eyes close when it hits my nervous system. The beat of my heart begins to slow, and despite being told I’m strong, I’m glad I have Jaxon to help me through it.
Soon, I’ll believe it for myself.
I did what I thought was impossible today.
That is something I will be forever proud of.