39. Ava
Inever really took myself for an affectionate person. That’s until I met Jaxon. There is nothing I enjoy more than waking up to him in the morning with his strong arms secured around me. Every day, I acknowledge how far I’ve come with my recovery and how I grow to trust Jaxon more and more each day.
A hand reaches up to push away a strand of hair that covers my shoulder. My eyes are still firmly shut, but a smile covers my lips as Jaxon’s warmth swarms me. “Morning, baby,” he whispers.
I release a slow grunt and open my eyes to meet his handsome face. “Hi.”
He cups my jaw and brushes his thumb over my cheek. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “You?”
He hums softly. “More than okay when I wake up to your beautiful face.”
My skin flushes at his compliment. “Likewise.”
Jaxon grins softly and leans forward to press a kiss to my chin, then my jaw and my neck. I slip my hand over his bare shoulder and close my eyes when he kisses my pulse and over my collarbones.
A flutter of warmth shoots across my abdomen and through my core. I clench my thighs together. I’ve grasped the concept of my heat with the help of medicine, but when Jaxon touches me like this, it awakens my desire in the most intimate of ways.
“Is this okay?” he whispers.
For a moment, my brain hesitates, but I know what I want. Jaxon will never push my boundaries. I am safe. I am in control. I have the right to pleasure.
I purse my lips and nod. “Yes.”
My fingers slip into the back of his hair as he peppers kisses across my hot skin. I part my lips and release a tremble of satisfaction that crashes over me. I squeeze my thighs together at the placement of his lips and the tenderness of each peck.
“This is my favourite part of the day,” he murmurs into my neck. “Knowing you’re in our bed. The sheets are covered in your scent. You’re in my arms.”
I shudder at the sound of his deep voice. My fingers knead into his biceps, and I clutch onto him as he kisses lower…over the tips of my breasts. “This still okay?”
“Yes,” I say desperately with a nod.
It’s more than okay. It’s divine. It’s magical.
It doesn’t feel anything like my bad memories because he is worshipping my body, mind, and soul. I’ve never been worshipped in my life.
The trail of soft pecks he leaves behind makes my head spin. “More,” I plead.
His eyes peek up at me. “Yeah…you want more?”
“Please,” I exhale. “I want to feel everything.”
The corner of his lip twitches. “Can I taste you?”
I can’t even remember what it’s like to receive oral sex. It’s been so long since I experienced it that the idea sends a shiver down my spine. His eyes are determined but soft—there’s no pressure.
“Yes.” I manage a nod. “Please. I’d like that.”
Jaxon grins and kisses the centre of my sternum. “Good,” he rasps. “Lay back and let me pleasure you. If you want me to stop, say the word, and I will. All of this is in your hands, Ava. Okay?”
“Okay,” I whimper at the adoration in his eyes.
I don’t have to ask Jaxon to understand me, be patient with me, and not push my boundaries. He already does it because he knows it’s the bare minimum—nothing more. He never allows me to thank him for asking me for consent or if I’m okay. It should be a given, not a praise.
He pushes up my T-shirt and slips his hands over the curve of my hips. I study his eyes as they focus on my stomach. He kisses my belly button and then down each of my ribs until I throw my head back.
I bite my lip in anticipation as he sinks lower. The bottom of his lip grazes the tip of my underwear. An unexpected groan falls from the back of my throat as he teases the sensitive area.
“Does this feel okay?”
“Mmm. Yes,” I moan.
He slips his fingers inside my panties and tugs them down my legs until I’m bare. I peek at him, and he gives me a second to compose myself before he slides his hand between my thighs and parts them.
The sound of his body shuffling down the bed until his face is parallel to my core makes me throb. I let my fingers run through his hair as he opens his mouth and closes it around my clit. I gasp and slam my head back down into the cushion. All my nerve endings burst from the warmth of his tongue.
He rolls it around the hood slowly, and my legs spread wider subconsciously. I tremble when he sucks on my clit again. He groans as he licks my wetness that is pouring out of me.
My lungs gasp for a breath at the same time I release a pant of pleasure. He eats me harder, holding my thighs back so he can feast on me like his own private meal. “Jax,” I whimper. “Oh, gosh.”
You taste beautiful, baby. His voice etches its way into my mind.
I arch my back off the bed and reach for his hand on my thigh. He entwines our fingers, and I grip onto him for support. “Yes,” I cry out as he sucks harder and then releases. “Please, don’t stop.”
Everything he’s doing makes my world tilt.
I’m shaking. I can’t stop shaking.
My eyelashes flicker when I tense my core at the way his tongue works over me. It’s like he’s known my body for years. He answers my body language, and I’m full of pure ecstasy.
Let go for me, he whispers again and heightens our intimate moment. Come for me, baby. Let me hear how good I make you feel.
His tongue flicks over my clit until my eyes are swimming with tears and my legs quiver. Pleasure builds in my core so quickly my vision turns blurry. I can’t even stop myself. I fall headfirst over the finishing line.
“Fuck,” I scream. “Jax. I’m coming.”
I clamp a hand over my mouth to stop the cries of paradise erupting around the room. My hips grind over Jaxon’s mouth as I ride out my orgasm on his face. Every part of my body is weightless. I’m numb all over yet sensitive.
Holy crap.
My high begins to subside, and Jaxon pulls away from my core. My hazy eyes find his. Those lips are glistening with my orgasm proudly. I press my shaky legs together, and he grabs a blanket to wrap me up in.
“How was that?” he asks huskily.
I’m lost for words.
I don’t think I’m on planet Earth. I’m on planet Jaxon.
My lips part, but I laugh instead, pressing a hand to my forehead. “I can’t even comprehend.”
“I have one suggestion,” he whispers, and I glance at him. “Next time, don’t put your hand over your mouth to muffle your moans. They are beautiful and so damn sexy. I want to hear it. I want to hear how you feel.”
A blush creeps up my neck until it reaches my face. “I was conscious of how loud I was being.”
“Be as loud as you want.” His eyes glitter. “Trust me. I don’t mind.”
I bury my head into his neck and chuckle softly. “Okay. Noted.”
His hand smooths over my shoulder as I stare up at the ceiling. “Would you like to shower with me?”
“With you?”
“Yeah. I’d like to give you the proper aftercare.”
I press a hand to the bed and sit up. “What’s that?”
“Where I look after you when we’ve been intimate together.” He cups my cheek with his large hand. “We don’t have to shower together. I can do it here.”
The stickiness between my legs is evident. “We could save water?”
Jaxon beams at me with bright eyes. “If you want to, then we can.”
He stands from the bed and holds out his hand. I take it and let him guide us to the en-suite. As soon as we’re inside, he turns on the waterfall shower and starts to strip himself of his boxers.
I try my hardest not to look, but my wandering eyes are curious. He turns towards the shower and holds out his hand, letting the water hit his palm. Once it’s warm enough, he ducks beneath the showerhead. Those impressive back muscles flex as he runs his hand through his hair.
After shamelessly checking him out, I pull my T-shirt over my head. I hesitate for a second, but I remind myself it’s okay. If I want to leave, I can. No one is stopping me.
I slide in next to the wall, and he turns towards me. He keeps his gaze above my collarbones, which flushes me with guilt after I checked him out brazenly. The hot water hits my skin, and I close my eyes.
“Are you working today?” I ask breathlessly.
“I work every day.”
I frown at his statement. “I know you need to keep the pack in line, but you work so hard all the time. Do you ever take time for yourself?”
“I do, especially when I’m with you.”
“That’s not the same.”
“It is.”
Jaxon’s cheek grazes mine softly as he presses a kiss to my lips. I smile and tilt my neck to meet his height. “You okay?” he asks.
“You don’t need to ask if everything is okay, Jax.”
“I do.” He nods. “Because how will I learn boundaries?”
“I trust you.”
My head glances down between us, and I almost gasp at Jaxon’s half-hard cock. It’s thick and veiny. Big. So fucking big.
One of his arms rests on the wall behind me, and I flick my gaze to his. His eyes are now pitch-black with desire. The bond sizzles between us. I run my teeth over my bottom lip.
“Ava,” he says hoarsely. “I’m not asking you to do anything to me. I’m hard because tasting you was the hottest thing of my life.”
I stare down at it. It’s growing by the second. How much bigger can it get?
My hand reaches to grip his length. Jax releases a shallow grunt but then shakes his head. His fingers find my wrist. “You don’t have to do this, Ava,” he warns me. “I promise you. I’m not expecting anything. I would never pressure you into doing it.”
I look up at him under damp lashes. I swat his hand away with my fingers. “I want to,” I whisper. “Can I? I should have asked. You always ask me first. I’m sorry. I would like to touch you. Will you let me?”
“Fuck, Ava,” he groans and lowers his forehead to mine. “I…” he pauses. “This…”
“Yes or no, Jax? Can I touch you?”
His eyes move between mine in a conflicting battle. “Yes.”
I’m filled with a wave of assurance. I waste no time in gripping his girth. His head is thrown back in immediate pleasure. My hand begins to work up and down him as he presses his other arm against the wall, caging me between him.
Jaxon’s breathless moans are pure heaven. They’re like sweet harmonies—deep yet completely unleashed. His forehead rests back on mine. He doesn’t hold back his pleasure. It makes me realise I don’t need to be embarrassed about how loud I am because I get it. He wants to hear me like I want to hear him.
My wrist moves quicker, and I grip his cock tighter. One of his hands slides into the back of my hair, tangling my hair between his fingers. He pulls me to his lips and kisses me desperately, fiercely, devotedly.
I roll my thumb over the head of his length, and he moans into my mouth. “Oh, Ava,” he says before clamping down on my bottom lip. “Oh, fuck. That feels so good, baby. Holy shit.”
His mouth pulls away from mine, panting like he’s lost all sense of himself. I study his shattering face as I keep up the pace. I can’t take my eyes off him. The way his entire body hardens and shivers is alluring.
A few pumps later, his cum squirts across my stomach as his loud groans fill the air. I don’t stop. I don’t want to. He is a masterpiece.
He releases the grip on my head. “Oh my Goddess,” he mumbles. I smile and drop his cock. The water washes away his climax from my fingers. “Ava. Ava. Ava.”
I bite back a grin.
“Fuck…” He lowers his lips down to mine and captures them in a passionate kiss. “That felt incredible. Perfect. You are perfect.”
My eyes flutter closed as he devours my mouth. He presses his forehead into mine as we catch our breath. Water droplets roll off his nose and onto my face.
“You know, I never expect you to do anything to me because I do it to you.”
I frown and shake my head. His black gaze returns to dark blue. “I did it because I wanted to, not because you did it to me. Every moment I have with you is like I’m overwriting all the bad memories. Instead, I’m associating moments in my life with happier ones.”
Jaxon nods. “I understand,” he whispers before kissing me again.
“Sex isn’t a bad thing,” I admit. “These moments I have with you are nothing like what I’ve experienced in the past. Now, I’m choosing for myself. If I can replace the old memories with ones that make me feel in control, then I will take it.”
“Okay,” he murmurs against my lips. “I want nothing more than to be a part of your new memories, Ava.”
“I associate these moments we have with feelings of contentment and joy. I want these emotions to remain. Nothing else. Not the bad stuff,” I confess. “I want to do this more than anything because I really, really want to pleasure you and because I know I’m strong enough to accept what I truly want.”
His hands wrap around my jaw and he kisses me one last time. “Yeah. You are. My mate. My Luna. My life.”
I lean into his kiss with a smile. Those words used to trigger me, but now, I welcome them. I’m slowly accepting who this world wants me to be. A part of me believes this has always been my destiny.