56. Ava
My ankles are submerged in mild water. The bottom of the lake is clear, and fish swim around my feet. I release a soft chuckle as they tickle my skin. My head tilts towards the sunset as it sits perfectly along the horizon.
I open my lungs and take down the fresh air. A presence behind me makes me tingle, but I’m not afraid. My head looks over my shoulder to be met with luminous eyes and long white hair. I relax.
“Ava.” She reaches out to touch my cheek.
My eyes close at the sensation that washes over my skin.
I remember her from my dream before. She came back.
“You’re here.”
When I open my eyes, she nods, and I study the pretty markings on her face. A triangle with circles glimmer across her forehead, and her eyelashes are a metallic blue. She takes my face between her warm hands, and I exhale a breath of relief.
“Do not forget your power.”
I frown. “What power?”
“Do not forget the strength inside your soul.”
“What do you mean?”
She offers me a sweet smile. “I would never want you to forget that you are a force to be reckoned with, Ava.”
“I’m trying. I’ve got a lot to learn,” I admit.
“That may be true.” She smooths her thumb across my cheek. “But you are surrounded by people who will go to the ends of this universe to support you.”
My lips curl. “I know.”
“You might feel at one with your body, but it’s not the first time you’ve met.”
My brows crease. “Met who…My wolf?” All she does is nod, and I stare back at her with uncertainty. “I don’t remember.”
“No. But you will.”
“Okay.”
“You might look different to the rest, but this is my blessing to you.”
My lips purse. “My blessing?”
“An apology for not helping sooner. I know this won’t make up for anything, but now your heart of gold will shine from the inside out. You possess your own strength, but this will only intensify it.”
I stare at the beautiful woman in wonder.
“This is your home now. This has always been your home. I’m happy to see you thriving in the way you always should have been. I wish to take away your past pain, but I would never meddle with the healing you’ve given to yourself. You are the strongest wolf I know. Even if you don’t believe it, you will soon. I’ll make sure of it.” Her misty eyes twinkle at me. “Now, go and live. This life will cherish you.”
The second her hands leave my face, the sky transforms into a show of shooting stars. I take it all in. My mouth falls open in surprise. I smile up at the universe and take in her words.
This life will cherish me in the same way I’ll cherish this second chance at living.
A gasp leavesmy lips as I sit up. The bedsheets fall around my waist, and I press a hand to my pounding chest. Jaxon stirs beside me. He rubs his eyes as I sink back into the headboard. “What’s the matter?” His voice is groggy but alarmed. “Nightmare?”
I shake my head and calm my rapid heartbeat. “Something else.”
His eyes roam my face carefully before his arm slings around my shoulder and brings me towards him. “You’re safe,” he whispers against my head. “With me.”
My eyes close, and I picture her face. I play back everything she said to me. Don’t forget. Don’t forget. I snap my gaze open as something tightens around my throat.
“Ava–”
“I remember,” I blurt.
“Remember what?”
My eyes flick over the duvet in the darkness as I wrack my brain for all the details of that day. The reason the other wolves were slaughtered was because of…me. I turn to Jaxon and he stares back at me with a concerned expression.
“What do you remember?” his fingers stroke my arm.
“The night with Julia. When they took me back to the warehouse. She was taunting me about you, saying things to get under my skin, and I snapped. I shifted. I killed those wolves.” I clap a hand over my mouth, and my stomach clenches. “Oh, God. I killed those wolves.”
Jaxon tugs me onto his lap as soon as he senses my panic brewing. “Breathe,” he states. “Breathe, Ava.”
I inhale sharply as harsh emotion slashes at my sternum. I accept his comfort through the bond. I’m a murderer. I murdered people.
“Baby.” He brushes back my hair. “You did all you could to survive. You did what you did to protect yourself. I know this might be a bittersweet moment, but I am so proud of you for taking out those wolves who hurt you.”
My lungs suck in air, and I shake my head. “I know they were bad people, but they were still people. I took away their lives.”
He offers me a soft, sympathetic smile. “It’s not easy to kill, but when we’re brought into these impossible situations, we have to. I remember the first time I killed another wolf, it didn’t feel good, but I knew it had to be done. The wolves I kill now deserve to be killed, and I don’t let guilt swarm me.”
“It’s hard to accept,” I hiccup. “I literally have their blood on my hands, even if they deserved to die.”
Jaxon kisses my cheek softly. “Don’t let any guilt sit with you, Ava. You killed them so you could get out of there and get to safety. It was a natural instinct from you and your wolf. It’s who we are, Ava. We’re natural born killers, and I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth, and it’ll never change.”
I take in his words for a long moment before nodding. “Yeah,” I rasp. “I guess you’re right. I’m new to this world. For you guys, this is probably child’s play.”
“It gets easier. I promise.”
We lay back down in bed, and I rest my head on his chest. “I can’t believe I forgot. I’ve been a werewolf and shifted, and I still didn’t know.”
“You lost a lot of blood and were in a coma for a few days, Ava. Don’t beat yourself up for not remembering. I think in a way, your memories come back to you when you’re ready to face them,” he admits, and I think about that for a second.
He might be right. He’s always right.
I stay silent as he wraps me up in his strong arms. “Sleep, baby. It’s still early. We can talk about this in the morning.”
My eyes flutter shut, and I inhale the scent wafting from his neck. I smile at the way it invades my bloodstream. My senses have heightened in ways I couldn’t even imagine.
Later that day,I find myself in the library with Evan and Sam close behind him, looking as bored as ever. I reach up to find books on werewolf ancestry because I feel like I’m missing a piece of my history. My parents abandoned me when I was a baby, and now I don’t even know who I am.
“Is it true your wolf has gold lining in its fur?” Evan asks as he stands up on one of the ladders.
I quirk a brow at him. “Gossip travels fast, huh?”
“Oh. Is it a rumour?”
My head shakes. “No. I’m a white wolf with gold in my fur. Yes. But I’m not entirely sure what it means. That’s what I’m trying to find out. I know nothing about my parents or where I’m from.”
Evan steps down from the ladder and meets me at one of the mahogany tables. “Does it matter where you’re from? You’ve found peace and your family here. I get that you don’t truly understand your heritage, but at the same time, you can make your own history.”
“I guess I’d like to know,” I admit. “It’s not super important right now, but it feels like I’m missing out on knowing the truth. But at the same time, they left me in the human world when I needed to be guided, so they suck.”
He perches beside me and laughs. “I get that. I couldn’t give a shit about my past. I only want the future and to look ahead.”
Sam scoffs behind him, and we both shoot him a glare. “Me, too,” I agree. “I’m curious, that’s all. What about white wolves? What is their ancestry like?”
“White wolves aren’t rare. There are thousands of white wolves across the country. But I don’t know any wolves that are infused with gold.” He gives me an impressive smirk. “That’s what’s interesting.”
I pull the book away from my eyes and stare at the wall.
Your heart of gold will shine from the inside out.
This is my blessing to you
I blink once, twice. Then a smile tugs at the corner of my mouth.
I’m invaded with reassurance. She thinks I blame her, but I don’t. I’m relieved she can make her presence known. That I could come face to face with the Goddess that mated me to Jaxon.
“What?” Evan pulls back suspiciously.
“Nothing.”
The door to the library opens, and I glance over at my mate. I smile in his direction as he studies the books spread across the table. “There you guys are. What are you doing?”
“Just some reading,” I state simply. “Research.”
“Research?” his brow quirks.
Evan gives me a soft smile before leaving with Sam. I stand from the chair and put the books away. “Yeah. Reading on how to be the perfect Luna.”
A hand wraps around my waist and tugs me backwards. I release a shriek before laughing. “Don’t need to do that. You are already perfect.”
My face heats. “Well, it’s a little biassed coming from you.”
“Nope.” He buries his face into my neck and licks my mark. “I state facts.”
I shudder and push back into him. It shines gold to this day. The best gift anyone could ever give me. “I’m intrigued about my heritage, I have to admit.”
“Of course you are.” He pulls back. “Anyone would be. You want to find out more information about it?”
I’m nodding before he finishes his question. “I think it’ll help me come to terms with everything a little more.”
“Then, we’ll find out whatever you want.”
My lips curl into a smile as I stare up at Jaxon. It”s taken me a while to come to terms with becoming their Luna, but now, I want nothing more. “Remember when we were talking about a coronation? Well, I want to have one. I want it to be official.”
Jaxon stops and turns me around to face him. “Baby, I want to put you on my throne and call you my queen.”
“I’m being serious.” I swat at his shoulder playfully.
“So am I.”
“We don’t have thrones here.”
“Well, we can buy one. Next-day delivery. Sorted.”
A small laugh passes my lips as I lean up to wrap my arms around his neck. “I want to officially be the pack’s Luna. I want a big party. I want celebrations. I want stupidly long speeches. I want all of us to come together.”
Jaxon’s hands slip down my waist. “I think we can arrange that.”
“I also want to go for a run. Just us. Our wolves.”
His eyes darken as his fingers knead into my skin. “Goddess. Yes.”
“And–”
“Go on.” He leans in.
I lick my bottom lip as fire roars in my soul. “I want to mark you tonight.”
“Fuck,” he rasps and presses his mouth to mine. “Yes. Yes. To all of it. You can have anything you want, baby. It’s all yours.”
A victorious grin stretches across my face. “I want to make you mine as much as I am yours.”
Jaxon grunts and leans down under my legs to hoist me up, my legs clinging to his waist. He pushes me back into the shelves. “I’ve been yours since the day I was born, Ava White. Never forget that.”
When he lays his mouth over mine I melt into his touch. I won’t forget it.
We are made for each other.
The End