19. JESS
Chapter nineteen
JESS
I hear a knock and see my office door creak open slowly. A Twix bar comes into view, followed by a floating arm. “Anybody in there hungry?” a voice calls out. Tina throws open the door and grins wildly at me, holding an array of other candy choices.
“Told ya I’d be back, armed with chocolate. What’s your pleasure?”
She dumps the Twix on my desk, along with a Baby Ruth, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and an Almond Joy. I’ve died and gone to chocolate heaven. It’s a tough choice. “Just one?” I ask with a finger in the air.
Tina sucks in her cheeks. “That depends on how much intel I get from this conversation.”
My hand instantly jerks back.
“Come on,” she snickers. “I’m just kidding. Have as many as you like. I’m not a chocolate fan.”
I gasp, “What? Chocolate is life.”
“Chocolate doesn’t agree with my skin. Makes me break out, even as an adult. It’s not worth it.”
“I’m sorry, that’s tough.” I tilt my head in sympathy for her chocolate free life. Then I grab all the candy bars and hold them tightly to my chest. “I will think of you with every bite.”
Tina chuckles. “That’s very empathetic of you.”
“We’re friends. It’s the least I can do. Female solidarity, remember?”
I put out a fist for her to bump. “I do.”
“May I?” I ask, releasing all the candy bars but Twix. She was spot on to offer that one first. I love eating the caramel off the top to start with, then going back for the wafer. Knowing that gooey deliciousness is just below this wrapper is killing me. I haven’t eaten since breakfast.
Tina moves quickly to shut my door. Then comes back to scoot her chair closer to my desk so she can prop her elbows on it. She nods at me to go ahead and eat. “Have any stories you’d like to share while you’re enjoying my gifts? Maybe about a certain star forward on this team who I’ve been treating for a small puncture in his—”
I quickly put the candy bar on the table. I’ll miss it, but I can’t tell her about Jagger, not for chocolate. She hands it back to me.
“I’m not going to say anything. I promise. The other guys are too focused on razzing Jagger to connect the dots, but I know none of them went hiking with him. More than that, I know Jagger doesn’t like nature, really. He told me when he first got here that the only part of the outdoors he’s interested in is the ocean.”
I unwrap the bar and start nibbling on it as I decide what to say. I can’t wait any longer. Her comments throw me off so much that I don’t even eat the caramel first. This impossible situation is maddening. I know she’s just being playful. She has no idea what’s really going on.
Tina looks at me with soft eyes. “Look, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I’m just messing with you. I like having another female around. I get tired of hearing about which guy is toughest on the team or who can stuff the most doughnuts in their mouth at one time.”
I know what she means. That’s not all the guys talk about, not with me, anyway. But clearly as their trainer, she doesn’t get a lot of heart to hearts in the rehab room. I agree it would be nice to have someone to talk to. Nat and I text and call each other every week, but it’s not like being together in the same room.
My Twix is gone within minutes, and my fingers start covertly reaching for the pack of peanut butter cups. Ok, I guess it’s not very covert because Tina slides it in my direction.
She leans back in the chair. “Ok, this is serious,” she says as I start in on my second chocolate treat. “You need to talk about what’s going on.” Tina grabs the rest of the candy. I give her an evil eye. “It’s for your own good.”
This is why I don’t keep chocolate in my apartment. I admittingly have no willpower, especially when I’m stressed. I didn’t realize how stressed I was until the candy showed up.
I mean, I know it must be because this situation is difficult. But Jagger’s worth it. My sister is right, second chances don’t come around often, and I’m taking this one, however tough it is to deal with in the moment.
Things with the team are great, so I thought I was dealing with the Jagger situation as well as possible, too. But clearly the work success hasn’t fixed everything on that front. After I uploaded Dax’s performance at the first preseason game, our TikTok following skyrocketed.
I followed up that video with one of Troy, knowing that after the way he defended Dax, he’d win over even more people. His daily habits are pretty standard, but I think that magic, his special talent, was so unexpected.
The comments poured in about how adorable the big guy is. There were a lot of takes before he got some of the tricks right, but he just stayed with it until he was successful. I made a loop of him saying, “Ta-da!” over and over. So, he’s now known affectionately as “Troy Ta-da” to the Echo Ridge Community and Hawks fandom.
It’s wonderful to see how much the area is embracing the team. But it’s a very small town, and reaching people farther away is crucial, too, so I’m thankful for the far reach of social media. We’ve lured back some fans from Missoula, also. I talked to quite a few at our second preseason game last night that made the trip.
The center wasn’t completely full, but it was very close. Jagger was back on the ice, with some extra padding in case he took a hard fall on his backside. He and Dax were unstoppable as a duo. Their anticipation of each other’s movements was like a choreographed dance, one their opponents were unaware of. Every pass was crisp, with perfect precision.
Jagger and Dax each scored two goals. We shut out San Diego four to nothing. I announced on social media that we’d be holding a post-game signing session. Sure enough, kids, parents, and women of all ages lined up to get everything from t-shirts and programs to concession stand wrappers signed by the guys, anything they could find, really.
It was amazing to see how invested so many people are now in a team that didn’t win more than five games last season. It’s awesome to be part of something like this. It makes me realize changing jobs came with more than one benefit.
I slow down on the candy, peeking over at Tina, who continues to look at me thoughtfully.
I draw in a deep, steadying breath, filling my lungs to the brim as if trying to gather every ounce of courage I need. “Ok, I really do need to get this off of my chest. But you can’t tell anyone, I mean it. It could have terrible consequences for Jagger.”
Tina’s face contorts. I’m sure she didn’t see that statement coming. I spend the next few minutes giving Tina the rundown on the crazy turns my life has taken over the last four years, including Jagger dumping me on tv, me dumping my fiancée at the altar, and Jagger and I getting double booked in Jamaica.
I wrap up by mentioning that neither of us expected to end up in Montana, and I fill her in on Coach Bradley contractually banning our relationship after Jagger’s reaction to Brooks’s comment about me.
She’s stunned into silence, and that’s hard to do with Tina.
Finally, she exhales a long breath like she’s been holding it this whole time. “Whew. That’s a lot.” She deposits the rest of the candy bars back on the table and slides them in my direction.
I wave her off. “Thanks, but I think I’ve had enough. I’m stuffed.”
“Are you sure? Because that is definitely a four-candy bar type of story.”
“I’m sure.”
Her brow furrows slightly as she stares off for a few moments, fingers drumming lightly on the table. You can see the gears turning behind her eyes as she bites the inside of her cheek, weighing the options of what to say.
Tina opens her mouth as if to speak, then stops, reconsidering. Then there’s a subtle shift in her expression, the kind that happens when someone’s just pieced something together.
“Well, in some strange way, that all makes a lot of sense,” she tells me.
“It does?”
“Yes. I mean, that was quite the reaction Jagger had the first day of practice. I suspected you two knew each other, but I was just fishing, I certainly didn’t know for sure. I thought he was being chivalrous. He seems like a pretty good guy.”
I smile. “He is.”
“I’m a woman, I’ve noticed all the glancing you two do at each other. He’s forever looking up at the balcony to see if you’re there. And I know you’re hanging out in that spot more than you actually need to be.” She gives me a little wink.
“But I thought maybe you two just had one of those ‘lust at first sight’ things happening.”
“I think you mean ‘Love at first sight.’” I giggle.
“Nope, I mean ‘lust.’ I’m surprised the ice hasn’t started to melt with the heat between you two, muy caliente!”
I gasp into my hands. “Is it that obvious?”
“No. Not to everyone else. I’m just very observant. Pretty sure the rest of the team has other things on their mind. Well, two things for sure: hockey and women and maybe food as a third thing. I don’t know. But I wouldn’t worry about it so much.”
I stand and start pacing. “That’s the thing. I have to worry about it. Coach says Jagger’s off the team if he finds out we’re in a relationship again because he doesn’t want Jagger fighting people over me. Jagger signed off on it.”
“Why would he do that?” she asks.
“He didn’t really have a choice. He’s only here because Miami got fed up with his “lack of control” over his emotions. They said he needed a change of scenery, needed to adjust his fighting ways if he wants to get back into the NHL.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that. I don’t really do any research into how the guys end up on the Hawks. I just treat them once they get here.”
I continue making a path back and forth behind my desk, at an even quicker pace. “Jagger’s an NHL all-star. He shouldn’t be in the minors." He told me that after I left Miami and stopped answering his calls, he threw himself into hockey. But losing me ate at him, and he took it out on his opponents. He racked up more penalty box minutes in the last three seasons than the rest of his team combined.
Tina comes around my desk and guides me back into my chair. “You’re going to create a cattle trail if you keep doing that.”
Her comment helps break my tension.
“That story is so sweet and tragic at the same time,” she comments.
I nod.
“So, what’s going on now with the two of you? It was you at Glacier with him, right? Didn’t seem hard to put together since I suggested going to the park. You really should have let me take you.” She waggles a finger at me.
“I know.”
I rub my hands over my face. “Jagger tried ignoring me for the first week, but we live two doors down from each other in the apartment building where a lot of the guys stay.”
“Of course, you do.” She shakes her head.
“I got fed up one day with how he was treating me, so I went to his apartment to talk to him, tell him there’s no reason we can’t just be friends and civil to one another.”
I bite my lip as Tina makes a beeline with her chair closer to my desk. “And?”
“And things took a turn a notch past civil…”
“A notch?”
My body needs to move, so I spring out of the chair again. This time I start circling. Tina’s spinning around, trying to follow my voice. “I ended up on his lap and—”
Tina chuckles. “And you couldn’t resist. Listen, I get it. He’s a handsome guy, looks a little like a younger David Beckham. I don’t blame you a bit. Plus, there’s history there. Mix that with some frustration and —wham—instant fireworks.”
“For sure.”
I’m on lap three when Tina pleads with a pained expression. “Can you sit, please? You’re making me dizzy. Or at least just stand in one place.”
I stop by my window and look out at the view of the trees that surround the center. It’s so beautiful, so peaceful here. If only the rest of my life was that way. I turn back to look at Tina.
“So, we’ve been trying to meet up whenever we can, but after Jagger got stuck under my desk with Talon in my office—”
Tina waves her hands wildly like she’s stuck on a deserted island and is trying to flag down a passing airplane. “What’s that now? Under your desk. How many more candy bars do you need for me to hear that story?”
“Another time. I can’t eat another bite.”
“Ok, but the next time you’re hungry...”
“I’ll let you know.” I smile at her. “Anyway, it’s just been hard, trying to sneak around and hide that we’re back together. Jagger doesn’t seem to care as much; thinks he can tell Coach, and it will be fine. That he won’t fight with his teammates or opponents no matter what happens between us. But I don’t think it’s worth the risk. We just have to make it through the season.”
“It’s a long season, Jess,” she points out.
I sigh. “I know. And we haven’t even talked about the future, about what happens when he goes back to the NHL, which he will. He’s just that guy you never get over.”
Tina comes over to the window to give me a hug. I miss my sister and my friends from Chicago. It’s really nice to have her here with me. When we break apart, she takes my hands. “Listen, I don’t have any advice for your situation. I’m not sure anyone would, even Dr. Phil.”
We both giggle. “But I’m here for you, if you need to talk or vent or need some more chocolate. You don’t ever have to tell me anything else, but if you want to…” She snickers. “There will always be an extra Twix with your name on it anytime you need."
“Thanks, Tina. You’re the best. I really do feel better.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
I walk her to the door. “Since we’re friends, I want to be there for you, too. Do you have anything you want to talk about? I’m a good listener.”
Tina chortles. “After that story? I think my life of taping the players’ ankles and remembering to water my one plant seems pretty easy. But I’ll let you know if something comes up.”
She heads out the door and waves goodbye.
I walk out to the balcony. The guys are just starting to gather for practice. As soon as Jagger hits the ice, he looks in my direction. I instantly realize Tina’s right as just his gaze instantly heats up my entire body.
I know I can trust Tina with my secret, but the question is, as this goes on, can I trust myself not to make a mistake and ruin Jagger’s career?