14. Jamie #3
I fall into step beside her, but my thoughts stay a few paces behind, the conversation I just had with Marcus trailing me like a second shadow.
Tomorrow is our family’s Fourth of July barbecue, the entire extended Maxwell household descending on my parents’ backyard with enough food for a small stadium.
Everyone will be there, some coming from as far as New York, and for some reason, the only person I can picture standing beside me through all of it is Cyaire.
I stop walking.
“Taz.”
She turns back to look at me, one hand already on the door. “Yeah?”
I hesitate for just a second before asking. “Would it be weird if I invited Cyaire tomorrow?”
A slow smile spreads across her face, the kind she can’t quite help. “To the barbecue?”
I nod.
She lets out a quiet laugh, not unkind, just knowing. “Jamie, we already expect him to be there.”
I blink. “You do?” Apparently, I’m oblivious.
“Of course we do.” She steps away from the door and folds her arms across her chest, tilting her head at me with an expression that is somewhere between fond and completely bewildered. “Why wouldn’t we?”
I shrug, both hands up, the honest answer being that I have apparently been overthinking this so thoroughly that I circled back around to uncertainty.
“I don’t know. Everything just feels different lately.”
“Different how?”
I search for the words and come up empty, which is frustrating because I am usually better at articulating things than this.
“I don’t know how this works yet,” I finally say. “There are so many moving pieces, so many complications. I can’t seem to find a clear line through all of it.”
Tazja watches me for a long moment, long enough that I feel slightly assessed. Then her expression softens into something quieter. “Big brother,” she says. “You are making this a hundred times more complicated than it needs to be.”
I don’t argue, because she’s right and I know it. The complication is mostly coming from the inside. From the comfortable, familiar bubble of careful avoidance that Cyaire and I have been floating around in since this whole thing started, warm and close and entirely unaddressed.
“If somebody matters to you, they matter to us.” She shrugs, completely unhurried, like she is explaining something that should be self-evident to anyone with a functioning brain.
“Whether he’s an actor, a hockey player, or works a register at the grocery store down the street doesn’t change a single thing.
If you trust him enough to bring him around this family, then he’s already family. That’s how this works.”
Something in my chest loosens at that. At the ease of it, the absence of conditions, the fact that she is extending him the same uncomplicated warmth she extends everyone she decides to care about before she even knows him.
“The whole family is looking forward to meeting him.”
I let out a surprised laugh, and it comes out more relieved than I intend. “I’m sure they are,” I say.
She gives me a look. “Jamie. The two of you have been all over social media for weeks. You didn’t genuinely think our cousins were sending those pictures around the family group chat for their health?”
I groan audibly and drag one hand across the back of my neck. “I didn’t even think about the group chat. I’ve been avoiding it entirely.”
“We haven’t been avoiding it,” she says, with great emphasis on the we.
“It’s been gossip central. The whole family has been absolutely losing their minds.
” She laughs. “Mama has already been asking what he likes to eat. I would bet money she’s already doubled the potato salad and made two extra peach cobblers just in case. ”
I shake my head, laughing despite myself, because that is precisely and exactly what our mother does. Food is how she loves people, and she will not have a guest leave her table uncertain of that.
She smiles, then reaches over and gives my forearm a quiet squeeze.
“You want to know what I think?” she asks.
“What?”
“I think you’ve been letting all the complicated stuff get in the way of something that’s actually pretty simple when you strip it back.”
I meet her eyes but don’t say anything.
“If Cyaire makes you happy, then stop asking yourself whether he belongs at our family barbecue.” Another gentle squeeze. “He already does. You already answered the question the moment you thought to ask it.”
Marcus’s words drift back through everything. “Don’t make the decision for him.”
I pull my phone from my pocket.
“I should ask him,” I say, holding it up with a small shake.
Tazja rolls her eyes, but the smile that follows is entirely genuine. “Yeah, big brother. You really should.”
I laugh as I unlock the screen. “I’ll meet you inside.”
“Don’t take forever,” she says, already pulling the door open, already halfway back into the room that is going to become something entirely hers.
I watch the door close behind her before I drop my gaze to the phone in my hand. Cyaire’s name sits at the top of my messages, exactly where it has been landing most days lately.
Jamie: Hey, Blue. You busy?
The three dots appear almost immediately.
Cyaire: Depends.
I smile at the screen like an idiot.
Jamie: On?
Cyaire: Who’s asking?
I shake my head slowly, laughing at nothing.
Jamie: Very funny.
Cyaire: I thought so.
Another message arrives before I have a chance to respond.
Cyaire: Wait. Aren’t you with your sister right now? How did it go?
I don’t overthink it.
Jamie: It went well. I think she’s finally found the right place.
I send a second message before he can reply.
Jamie: But that’s not actually why I texted.
Jamie: My family is having our Fourth of July barbecue tomorrow.
I press send and watch the three dots appear, disappear, then come back again.
Before he can land a response, I send one more.
Jamie: I’d really like you to come. If you’re free. Of course, Cameron too.
Cyaire: You know, I had plans tomorrow.
My stomach drops, clean and fast.
The dots appear again almost before I’ve finished processing.
Cyaire: Good thing they already involved spending the day with you, Seventeen.
The laugh that escapes me is loud enough to earn a sideways glance from a woman passing on the sidewalk, and I don’t even have the energy to feel self-conscious about it.
Jamie: You’re an ass.
Cyaire: Last time I checked, you liked this ass. (winky face emoji)
Heat moves up the back of my neck before I can stop it.
Jamie: Yeah. . .yeah, I really do.
There’s a brief pause before his reply arrives.
Cyaire: I’d love to come.
Something warm and unhurried unfolds in my chest.
Cyaire: Should I bring anything? Drinks? Dessert? Both?
I smile.
Jamie: Just yourself.
A few seconds pass before the next message appears.
Cyaire: I can do that.
Jamie: Good. My family’s looking forward to meeting you.
The dots appear almost immediately this time.
Cyaire: No pressure or anything. (sweating emoji)
I laugh, quiet and easy.
Jamie: You’ll be fine. Trust me.
The dots blink one last time before the message arrives.
Cyaire: I trust you. Always, Jamie.