CHAPTER 8
“Hey, I’m glad you called,” Marti told her when she sat down next to her.
“You are? I expected you to be busy for the next several weeks.”
Eline smiled over at her possible new friend.
Marti laughed and said, “Yeah, well…”
“Well, what? You said in your text that you and Marissa were going to try again.”
“We are. We did. I mean, we are.”
Eline laughed and said, “I’m confused.”
“We went out on a date after she dumped her now-ex. She told me that she kept thinking she was going to meet the right woman, but that she was pretty sure that she’d already found her, and we had our first kiss in years.”
“And?” Eline asked before taking a sip of the wine she had ordered.
“It was amazing, and I wanted more, but we both agreed that we should take things slow this time, so we haven’t done that yet… again.”
“That’s good, right? It means she wants you to get there.”
“It’s good, but it’s also been years of me wanting her.
I had her for only so briefly, and now, we’re doing this, but I’m ready, you know?
I’ve known what this was supposed to be all along.
She didn’t even stay over after our first date, when we’ve done that a million times just as friends.
But then, last night, she came over to watch a movie, and we made out for the longest time.
I made her stay over.” Marti chuckled. “We fell asleep, and it was really nice. She held me, and I wanted to take things further, but she told me she still wanted to wait. How much longer is she going to make me wait here? It’s been years. ”
Eline smiled over at her and said, “I’m sure it won’t be too much longer. And it’s a good thing that you’re taking it slow. It matters.”
“I can’t believe it’s happening at all. I’d given up on her, honestly.
She brought the girlfriend that I couldn’t stand with us here the other night, so when I saw you, I just decided that I wasn’t going to spend my whole night wishing that she would dump her and tell me how she felt.
Then, she did. I guess I owe you for that, huh? ”
“I don’t think so. It seemed like they were heading toward a breakup already.”
“She said she only brought her along because she wanted me to give her some advice on how they were together. I hadn’t been spending a ton of time with Marissa because she was always with her now-ex, and I guess she wanted my opinion, but seeing me with you made her realize that she was being an idiot and that I’d been right all along.
I plan on holding that over her forever. ”
Eline laughed again.
“Anyway, your drink is on me tonight,” Marti told her. “Now, I know you didn’t ask if I wanted to come out just to talk about me and Marissa. How did it go with your ex? I’ve been thinking about you, hoping it all worked out.”
“I don’t know, actually.”
“About?”
“If it all worked out.”
“What happened?” Marti asked before she waved over the bartender and ordered herself a beer, telling him to put Eline’s drink on her tab as well.
“It’s hard to explain.”
“Well, Marissa is working late tonight, so I’ve got time. You can tell me the whole story, if you want.”
Eline played with the stem of her wineglass, using it to move the glass left and right for no reason, and said, “I first met Arlowe at the bookstore.” She smiled at the memory.
“We were in the same program, but it was a semester abroad for her. I was a local student. We were reaching for the same book for one of our classes that we happened to have together, and that was it. I looked up at her, and I knew.”
“Yeah? That was it?”
“I couldn’t explain it then, and I still can’t explain it now.
She has these deep, soulful gray eyes, and I’d never seen anything like them before.
Then, she was telling me that I could take the book, even though it was the last copy on the shelf.
I noticed that her hand was still on top of mine, and I felt like I wanted to hold her hand forever.
We talked while they were getting another copy for her in the back, and then we walked from the store toward the dorms where she was staying, and we kept talking for hours inside her room until she finally asked me out on a date, and we just went.
We had our first date that night – walking for hours around the canals, stopping at tourist shops sometimes, and holding hands the whole way. ”
“That sounds pretty amazing,” Marti replied.
“It was. It’s like nothing I’d experienced before or since, and when she kissed me at my apartment door around four in the morning, I thought I might have met the love of my life. I invited her in and… Well, you can imagine what happened next.”
“Look at you. On a first date?”
“It felt like we’d had ten dates in one day, and I didn’t want to wait because part of what we’d talked about that day was the fact that she would be returning home in five months.
That’s how long the semester was. She had one more semester at her college here in the US after that, and I still had one to finish there.
Neither of us wanted to waste any time, and I suppose that made everything feel even more intense and wonderful. ”
“So, what happened, exactly?” Marti asked.
“A few weeks in, I told her that I loved her. She said the same, and for a few months, we just continued pretending like there wasn’t an expiration date on our relationship.
Then, we were getting closer to our final exams, autumn turned to winter, and we couldn’t pretend any longer.
The pressure to figure out how we could be together took its toll, and eventually, we decided that it would be better for us to go our separate ways when Arlowe left. ”
“You didn’t want to do long-distance?” Marti asked as her beer was placed in front of her on the bar.
“I think I would have, had she wanted to, but it would’ve been incredibly difficult.
We’re both computer engineers with weird sleep habits.
Hers are worse, but I’m only a little better.
Well, I don’t know how true it still is for her today, actually, but there would’ve been school first, followed by work, time zone issues, and our weird sleep patterns.
Money was a major problem as well. Neither of us had a lot of it, so we would’ve had to take out credit cards and get into massive debt just to be able to see one another a few times a year, with no end in sight because I never planned on leaving my home, and she never planned on leaving here.
It all seemed insurmountable for two twenty-two-year-old girls in love. ”
“And you really haven’t seen her since then?”
Eline shook her head and said, “I asked her not to reach out. I told her that I would, but by the time I thought I could actually handle talking to her, knowing her again, and finding out if she’d met someone else, I guess I didn’t want to interrupt her life in case she had.”
“And you didn’t want to get your heart broken again,” Marti added and nodded knowingly.
“That too,” Eline said, smiling down at the bar. “Now, she’s here, and I’m here, and when I saw her, I felt like I was right back in that bookstore. She’s still so beautiful, kind, and funny, and she’s always been ridiculously smart. I mean, she basically built the app from scratch.”
“The app?”
“She founded a company with her friends. They’ve got an app. She built it with little to no help, for the most part. I always knew she’d be a great programmer, but…”
“It’s still there, isn’t it?”
Eline nodded and replied, “Yes, I feel it. It’s like it never left, and everything in between – the relationships, the dates – it’s all been a lie because it was always meant to be her.”
“I take it, you didn’t say that to her?”
“No. It was pretty awkward once we started talking, and I understand why, but I couldn’t help but wish that we could have us back.”
“You might not ever be able to. It’s been a long time,” Marti reasoned before she took a drink of her beer.
“I know. I just… I’ve never felt with anyone else what she makes me feel. It’s like she–”
“Was put here just for you?” Marti asked.
“Yes.”
“That’s how I’ve always felt about Marissa – like she was never meant to just be my best friend; she was always meant to be my forever, my one person, and it’s been awful, having to pretend otherwise.”
“Do you think that’s what I’ll have to do if I want Arlowe back in my life?”
“Meaning, you don’t think you can be with her romantically?”
“I don’t know. I think she’s single, but I didn’t confirm that. And it’s likely that there’s some anger there. I could feel it from her. She’s upset with me, and I get why.”
“But you want more?”
“I think so. It’s still there. That has to mean something.”
“When will you see her again? Maybe you two can keep talking and eventually get there,” Marti suggested.
“I don’t know. She said she would call me, and it’s been a couple of days. I want to let her be in charge this time since it was my fault last time, so I haven’t reached out. Should I, though?”
“I’d give her some time. I’m sure seeing you for the first time has her rocked. But what if you two do try again, and it doesn’t work anymore? Have you thought about that? You’re different now. I’m sure she is, too.”
“I haven’t even allowed myself to think that far ahead. I got home after we met at that coffee shop, and I wondered why she wore my old T?shirt to meet me.”
“She wore your shirt?”
“She stole it back then. I’d forgotten about it, but there she was, looking gorgeous and dressy casual, and my old band shirt was under a blazer. I thought it meant something. I got my hopes up a little, and I just… I don’t know that I can do that again right now.”
“She’ll call, Eline.”
“How do you know?”
“Because she wore your shirt,” Marti said and shrugged a shoulder. “No woman does that after, what, like a hundred years or something? She wouldn’t have done that if it didn’t mean anything to her, and it clearly did.”
“And how do you know that?”
“Because she kept the shirt.”
Eline gave Marti a small smile in response, and they sat there, continuing to talk, but more to get to know each other this time than about their former and possibly current relationships, until Marti had to go because Marissa had texted her that she was hoping to stop by her place with some ice cream and watch a movie.
When Eline got home herself, she took a long bath, hoping it would quiet her mind, but it didn’t, and by the time she climbed into bed, she was exhausted from a long day at work, which had been stressful enough on its own, and the emotional highs and lows that came along with wondering if the girl she once loved could ever love her back again.
When her phone pinged at her side, she expected it to be someone from work because it felt like work never ended at this company, but she was surprised to see a message from Arlowe, asking her if she could call her, or if it was too late.
“Hi,” she said, answering Arlowe’s call that came in a few seconds after Eline had texted her back that she could.
“Hi,” Arlowe replied.
“How are you? How was… Travis? It was Travis, right?”
“Travis is probably not doing well because I had to fire him, but I’m okay. Work’s been a little extra busy in general, and with Travis gone, I’ve had to pick up the slack, which is why I’m calling so late.”
“Isn’t this early for you?”
Arlowe laughed and replied, “It would be normally, but I manage people now – I work normal business hours, which I used to hate all the time but now only hate some of the time. I’m growing as a person, I think.”
“I’m sure you are.”
“How are you?” Arlowe asked.
“Good. I actually went out tonight. I think I met a new friend, so that’s good.”
“A new friend?”
“I met this woman that day I emailed you, actually. Her name is Marti. I went out with her again tonight.”
“Oh,” Arlowe said. “Out?”
“To a bar. We had a drink,” she replied, trying to decide how long to let Arlowe think that she’d been on a date with Marti.
She hadn’t planned it, but now she had a possibility of learning something by letting Arlowe believe that. Then, she remembered that they’d never played games with each other before, and she didn’t think that they should start now.
“Her girlfriend had to work late, so she was free,” she added.
“Ah,” Arlowe replied. “Speaking of drinks… I was wondering if maybe I could buy you one. I feel bad about having to leave the other day, and I would’ve called sooner, but I…
Honestly, this is so strange, Eline. I never thought I’d see you again, and if I did, it would be on the internet, but here you are, living, like, fifteen minutes away from me. ”
“I know; it’s a lot,” she agreed. “I’d love to go for a drink with you, though. I know you’re busy, so it can be whenever you want. There’s no pressure, Arlowe. We can have a drink and talk, and if you need to yell at me, you can do that, too.”
“Why would I yell at you?”
“I sensed some anger over coffee.”
“Not anger. Well, not anymore, at least. I let go of that a while ago,” Arlowe said. “There is still confusion and some sadness, though.”
“We can talk about it now, if you want, or we can do it at drinks. Or both times. We can do both. I mean, whatever works for you. I don’t want–”
“I always did love your rambles,” Arlowe interrupted her, chuckling. “And I am exhausted right now. I just didn’t want to go another day without calling you or to make you worry that I wouldn’t, but I’ll text you tomorrow about that drink, okay?”
“Okay,” she said.
“Yeah, um… Okay. Well, good night, Eli Fay,” Arlowe said, using the shortened version of Eline’s full first name as her nickname.
Eline laughed and said, “You’re the only one who’s ever called me that.”
“I know,” Arlowe replied. “Good night.”