CHAPTER 25
“Hey. You look like crap.”
“Gee, thanks, Sarai,” she said and sat down at the big table in the office kitchen. “I really appreciate your support.”
“My support with what, exactly? I’m already on board with Eline working here.”
Then, Enya walked over with a cup of coffee, sat down next to Arlowe, who was across from Sarai, and noted, “You don’t look great.”
“Is it gang-up-on-Arlowe day or something?”
“Still upset about Eline?” Enya asked.
“Well, yeah. I’ll be upset until we find a solution.”
“I thought we already did: we’re about to hire her,” Sarai pointed out.
“If she gets the visa approved, and that’s a big if,” Arlowe replied.
“She can stay on a work visa for only three years before she needs to file for another extension, but since she was terminated, I don’t know if she can extend for the full three years.
And she can only extend that three years once, so it’s a maximum of six years.
I think that’s right anyway. I’ve got a lot of information inside my head right now, and it’s in confusing legal jargon sometimes. I’m better in code, and I just…”
“Hey, what happened to your whole marriage thing?” Sarai asked. “You said you would probably be married before that. Why are you worried about it now?”
Arlowe took a sip of her coffee and said, “Long story. You know what we did find out, though? It’s somewhat good news.”
“Good news?” Enya asked.
“So, the HR person, or whoever, misspoke when they told Eline about the whole grace period. Apparently, there’s a ten-day rule when a normal visa expires, but if someone gets terminated on an existing visa, they get sixty more days, so it’s four months in total.”
“Hey, that is great news,” Sarai said.
“It’s still only four months.”
“Yeah, but that’s basically two more months for us to get this process moving. That’s good news.”
“How did you find that out?” Enya asked.
“The lawyer she’s working with emailed her some information to review prior to their call today. We went over it all last night after dinner.”
“I think you have to count that as a win, Arlowe. At least, even if nothing else, that’s more time you two have together.” Sarai looked over Arlowe’s shoulder. “Hey, Vi. Arlowe has some good news.”
“Yeah?” Violet walked around the table and sat down by Sarai. “What’s up?”
It reminded Arlowe a little of home because they’d always had their designated seats at the kitchen table, and they were sitting in the exact spots at the office breakroom table now, so it made her just a little bit happier on the inside, despite everything that was going on.
“Apparently, Eline has sixty extra days, not ten, like we originally thought,” Sarai explained. “So, we have about four months now. Well, a little less because time is already ticking down, but it’s better than only having seventy days.”
“That is good news,” Violet replied, looking at Arlowe. “We have more time to go through the process. Stella gave me some tips on how they’ve gotten things approved last night, and I have a meeting with our attorney later today, too.”
“That’s great,” Arlowe said without emotion.
“If it is, why are you acting like it’s not?” Enya asked.
“It’s complicated.”
“Because it’s a long story?” Sarai asked.
Arlowe took another sip of her coffee to stall, but her friends weren’t moving on with the conversation, which she should’ve anticipated, so she set her cup down and decided to tell them what she’d done.
“Does she not want to take the job if we get her approved?” Violet asked.
“A pride thing?” Sarai asked, too.
“What? No. Well, yeah, sort of. She has some concerns about how we’d be interviewing people who have no chance of getting the role they’re interviewing for.
I get it, though. I don’t like it, but it’s what we need to do.
Not that it makes it right, but I know plenty of other companies have done this before. I think she understands it in the end.”
“Okay. So, she’ll take the job if we can offer it?” Violet asked.
“Yeah. And she’s still applying other places to be safe. There’s this company that she found that actually said they’re willing to sponsor. I looked at it with her last night. It’s not exactly the perfect fit role-wise, so it’s a long shot, but she still applied.”
“That’s good. She should apply for everything she can to be safe,” Enya suggested.
Arlowe met Sarai’s gaze then, and it was more of a stare, really, than a gaze.
“What?” she asked.
“There’s something you’re not telling us,” Sarai stated.
“Yeah, I know. I’m trying to, okay?” She sighed. “Look, I think I really fucked up last night.”
“What did you do?” Sarai asked.
“I might have accidentally, or maybe on purpose… asked Eline to marry me.”
“You did what?” all three of them said at once.
“I asked her to marry me.”
“Why didn’t you begin this conversation by telling us that you’re engaged?” Violet asked.
“That’s because I’m not engaged.”
“Wait. What?” Sarai leaned forward. “You asked Eline to marry you, and she didn’t say yes?”
“She said no,” Arlowe replied and looked down at her coffee cup.
“Oh, Arlowe…” Violet said. “You know why she said no.”
“How do you know why she said no?” Sarai questioned.
“Sarai, had Gabi asked you to marry her a few weeks into seeing each other again, would you have said yes?”
“What? No, of course not. But Gabi and I didn’t date in Amsterdam. We knew each other for a weekend and texted after that. Those two were literally talking about getting married one day.”
“And they were twenty-two and only together for five months. All I’m saying is that it’s pretty fast after seeing each other again. Haven’t they only been on one date? I mean, have they even slept together again yet?” Violet asked.
“Hi! I’m right here.” Arlowe waved at both of them from across the table. “You don’t have to talk to me like I’m not. And for your information, no, we haven’t done that yet. Or, again, I guess. We’re waiting until we’re both ready.”
“Sure, but if you’re not ready for that yet, are you really ready to marry her?” Violet asked.
“Not everyone has sex before marriage, Vi,” Enya spoke up. “I’m not one of those people, and obviously Arlowe and Eline aren’t, either, because they’ve already done that, but–”
“We get it, Enya,” Arlowe interjected. “But thank you. And yes, maybe it’s fast, but we love each other.”
“You said that?”
“Sort of. I mean, she told me that she’s falling back in love with me, and I told her that I’m already in love with her again.
Then, she asked if I thought we were meant to be and going to get married, and I said yes.
She thinks those things, too. I know that I basically asked her in her living room, with no fanfare, and that I should have done it differently or later, but I don’t want her to go.
I want her here. I want time with her where we’re not on the damn phone or FaceTime, trying to work out the time difference or make room for each other in our lives because we’re busy with work or other things that are around us while the other person is on the other side of the world. ”
“How did you two leave it after she turned you down?” Sarai asked.
“We ate dinner and talked about everything other than the fact that I just asked the woman I love more than anything to marry me, and she turned me down.”
“So, it was an awkward night, then?” Enya asked.
“For a while, yeah,” Arlowe admitted. “We ate dinner and pretty much talked about nothing. She actually asked me about the weather because she hadn’t left her apartment all day.
It reminded me a lot of the days leading up to me leaving back then, when we couldn’t talk about anything important because everything felt so awful and impending and doom, and everything bad in the world was headed right toward us, so we talked about the stupid weather and how many bicycles they’d clean out of the canals the next year. ”
“You hated it,” Violet said.
“Yes, because it felt like we were about to say goodbye again. After dinner, it got a little better. We focused on the job thing and the whole extension process, but things were still awkward. It wasn’t until we went to bed that things seemed to be okay, or as okay as they could be,” she said and looked around the kitchen, seeing a few employees walk in and out.
“I held her. She said that she wished she could say yes, but that she didn’t want our marriage to start off because we had to do it.
She wanted us to want to do it, and I told her again that I do, but I know she’s right.
I pictured myself asking her to marry me years ago, but we were in the magical winter wonderland of Amsterdam canals, and I had all these ideas.
You know she loved NEMO because she’s a big nerd. Remember the science museum?”
“I remember,” Violet said.
“It has that whole outside seating that is at the top and makes you feel like you’re on top of the world.
I thought about doing it there once. I thought about doing a canal cruise and asking her there, or even just while we were walking around, spontaneously getting down on one knee and asking her to spend her life with me.
I had a dozen ideas, at least, and none of them were asking Eline to marry me in her living room because she’s about to get kicked out of the country. ”
“It’s sweet, though, Arlowe. Even if it’s not one-hundred-percent for the right reasons, it’s still sweet,” Enya suggested. “You love her.”
“I got used to loving her without being able to love her. I could look at our old photos and videos, read the letters and notes we exchanged, wear her old shirts, and deal with the fact that she was probably lying next to someone else every night. It still hurt, and I thought it just always would, but that maybe one day, I’d meet someone who would make me feel at least some of what I felt for her, and it would be good.
I could be happy with that. I know that I can’t now.
No one else will ever be her, and she might have to leave.
It’s actually pretty likely that she’ll have to go, at least for a little while. ”
“Then, you’ll go there,” Sarai replied. “Arlowe, we can figure that part out. You can go to Amsterdam without a visa for up to ninety days every six months or something like that. Maybe it’s for longer; I don’t remember.
And maybe she can come here once or twice, too, depending on how long she has to be there. ”
“Yeah. Eventually, we’ll get her approved to work here,” Violet stated. “We might have to try a few times, but we won’t give up until she’s back here.”
“Thanks, guys,” Arlowe said. “I know I’ve been dominating the friend conversation a lot recently, and I wish I didn’t have to because Eline and I were just having the standard new beginning we both want so badly instead of this clusterfuck, but if any of you would like to maybe talk about something other than my possible new long-distance relationship, I’d be all right with that. I could use a little break, honestly.”
“I think I’m going to actually try,” Enya said.
“Try what?” she asked.
“Dating,” Enya replied.
“Really?” Sarai asked.
“I don’t know that I’ll get far, though.
You know how I am. I want to find someone, but I get so caught up in my room, my office at home, or here, trying to learn a new language or make the product better.
It’s hard to maintain something real with someone when I’d rather be in my room, staring at my note cards. ”
“Maybe that’s because you haven’t met the right person yet,” Sarai suggested.
“I basically had no hobbies and only worked until I met Gabs, but she got me to realize that some things could be more important than this place, and now, I put her first. I never did that before. Same for Violet. Right, Vi?”
“Yes,” Violet replied. “And I still have a hard time believing that I’m about to buy Stella Ross an engagement ring, but it’s happening – I’m going to ask her to marry me after more than two years together.
I love our work, and I love all of you, but finding the love of my life changed my priorities, just like it did for Sarai. ”
“And you already know that I’m with them,” Arlowe told Enya, pointing to Sarai and Violet. “I realized who Eline was first, though, so my perspective is a little different.”
“How so?” Enya asked.
“I knew what this kind of love was when I was in college, and I’ve been pushing myself into work and everything else to avoid feeling the pain that can come with it when you let them get away.”
“But you didn’t, Arlowe,” Sarai argued.
“Didn’t what?”
“You didn’t let her get away. She’s here.”
“For however long,” she said and picked up her coffee cup. “But, yeah, we’ve found our way back to one another, and we might just have a chance this time to make it last.”
“So, anyway; I guess what we’re all saying is that when you meet her, you might just be willing to put those note cards down for at least one night a week,” Violet teased.
“I’d shoot for two,” Sarai said. “Personally.”
“Not every night, or, like, at least five?” Enya asked.
“No, because then you wouldn’t be you,” Arlowe said. “And you want her to want you for you, not for whoever you think she wants you to be.”
“I’d love it if I met someone who wouldn’t mind doing the note cards with me,” Enya said with a dreamy smile.
“Like, helping me write the words out and putting them on the wall in the order I need them to be in. It would be fun, you know? Have her there, helping. Then, maybe I could finish early, and we could… well, you know.”
“Have sex?” all three of them said at the same time.
“Yeah, that,” Enya replied. “But also, just spend time together doing something else. Maybe we could do something that she’d like to do, whatever that might be.”
“That sounds pretty perfect, Enya,” Sarai said. “We’ll all happily play wing-women. Is it wing-people?”
Arlowe laughed a little, and it felt good. She loved her friends. She wasn’t sure how she had gotten so lucky to have met them that day at the airport, but she was more and more grateful for that every day that had passed. She took another drink of her coffee and rose from the table.
“Well, I should get to work. I need the distraction,” she stated.
“We’re here if you need to talk,” Violet told her.
“I know. Thank you,” she replied.