Chapter Fourteen
October, fourteen years ago
Mitch
There was something about the Texan air. Mitch wasn’t sure what it was, but it wasn’t like Portland. His lungs filled with a promise that the best times were still to come. His heartbeat thrummed, more in sync with his breathing than ever before. Exhaling was smoother. Inhaling was effortless.
Or was it all the Jackie effect?
He rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. If only sleeping was as easy as breathing.
Brenda had showed him to the bedroom farthest away from Jackie’s.
Opening the door, her eyes gleamed like she wanted him to challenge her.
Which he didn’t, of course. He wasn’t stupid.
Besides, what would he do if their rooms were closer?
It wasn’t like he’d ever done any of … those things.
Thought about them, sure. He’d heard his friends in the locker room talk about this and that.
But he himself hadn’t even crossed second base at that point so he’d always stayed quiet.
Mitch sighed at the memory from the other night, after his swimming practice, when Jackie had surprised him as he walked outside and led him to her room, saying Lyla was out for the night.
He’d barely registered the way her gorgeous blue eyes caught the harsh corridor lights as she opened the door, and her lips were on his, their tongues dancing like the music of their hearts would go on forever.
Everything jumbled together in his mind after the moment they connected.
When his senses resurfaced from underneath the weighted blanket of feverish desire, Jackie pulled her top over her head and carelessly threw it on the floor.
Her eyes, her lips, and every line on her face glowed with anticipation.
He was already hard, but in that moment, he was sure he’d snap in half from straining against his pants.
Mitch groaned into the still night.
He’d said something about going slowly; she’d smiled and told him she was thinking the same thing.
He wanted to go there with her, he wanted to have everything with her.
But two months ago, he’d only ever trained, studied, gamed or fiddled with his Rubik’s cube while listening to country radio on full blast. Now, he was in Texas.
A freshman, taking pre-vet classes, swimming for the Longhorns, and spending a weekend at a ranch from his dreams with a girl he’d never, ever even wished for. What did she see in him?
Enjoy it while it lasts, ask stupid questions after she’s through with you.
It wasn’t a nice thought, but he knew it had to be true. The Jackies of this world didn’t end up with guys like him.
While he was berating himself for overthinking, the door creaked open.
“Psst, Mitch. Are you asleep?” Jackie whispered.
He sat, straining his eyes to decipher her silhouette. “What are you doing here?”
She closed the door behind her with a soft click. Her bare feet padded to the bed. The moonlight from the window illuminated her face.
Biting on her lower lip, she gave him a sad smile. “I can’t sleep.” She sat on the edge of the bed, the mattress springs letting out a low moan underneath her weight. “I struggle to fall asleep when I’m excited. I was fed up with tossing and turning.”
“I can’t sleep either.” He brushed a lock of her black hair off her shoulder, exposing bare skin clad only in a spaghetti strap from her pajama top. Lowering his head, he pressed his nose to her goosebump-pebbled skin. “Why are you excited?”
Jackie sucked in a breath and held it. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m always told tanks have more subtlety than me.”
Mitch dropped a kiss on her shoulder. “If I was more confident, I’d say I’m the reason.”
She leaned against his chest. “Of course you are. I keep thinking about how well you’ve managed Diamond today. It isn’t easy, to get up on a horse for the first time.”
“I thought you said that you don’t remember your first time on a horse?”
“I don’t. But that’s what people say.”
He grinned into her hair, drawing in a breath filled with the sweet fruity notes of her shampoo. “People often say a lot of bullshit.”
Jackie chuckled. “That, they do.”
Neither of them said anything else, their breaths and heartbeats melting into one like tennis players gearing up to play doubles.
She moved her thumb up and down the inside of his forearm, humming under her breath. “Do you want to see Texan sky?”
“I thought you can’t see stars from Austin.”
“It’s a clear night and we’re just about far enough from the city to stick up a middle finger to light pollution. I love stargazing.”
“Won’t Brenda be angry if we sneak out?”
Jackie looked over her shoulder, tilting her chin up. “Mimi’s deaf in one ear. She won’t hear us if we’re very quiet.”
She traced the outline of his lips with her fingertip, and a whip of electricity tore through the dark bedroom as his veins clogged with desire. He couldn’t see her smile, but he could picture it flawlessly.
Mitch kissed the side of her jaw, closing his eyes against her soft skin. “Do you even know how to be quiet?”
It was a fair question, he thought. Jackie was many things, but quiet wasn’t one of them.
She walked through life encased in an aura so bright, you almost needed sunglasses before daring to look at her; she’d been blinding unsuspecting regular folks with sheer joy since the moment she was born, he had no doubt.
Jackie pushed his arms away. She turned, facing him, and all the air he’d been so glad to breathe evaporated from his lungs. “Do you like it when women are quiet, Mitch from Portland?”
The playfulness of her features signaled she didn’t mean in general.
He gulped.
Jackie caught her bottom lip between her teeth and pressed her open palm right above his heart.
His nostrils widened on a deep inhale; his tongue cemented to his teeth.
“Or do you like when they scream your name?”
Fuck, if she hadn’t already been holding his heart hostage inside his ribcage, it would’ve flown out, and he’d have combusted on the spot.
A single note of laughter slipped from her lips. “Sometimes, I worry I scare you.”
“You could never scare me,” Mitch blurted out before he had a chance to think through what he wanted to say.
Tilting her head, she furrowed her brow. “Careful. I might believe you.”
He covered her hand with his, pushing them both into his chest. “My heart’s been beating to the sound of your voice since we met. If you need to believe in something, believe in this.”
Her chest caved with a shallow exhale. Her hand shook underneath his. “You should’ve majored in English literature. I didn’t know you’re a poet.”
Mitch shoved aside the rumpled comforter. He dropped his forehead to hers, drinking in the melody of her breathing. “I mean it, Jackie. I know we haven’t known each other long. I know I’m probably way too boring for you—”
“Oh, Mitch. Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh?” Jackie’s chin jerked back. “Besides, you’re shy, not boring. There’s a huge difference.”
“You think?” Mitch bit back a grin. “You’re so …
vivacious.” The adjective tingled at the tip of his tongue as soon as he said it, and he knew it was the perfect one-word description of Jackie.
If someone had never met her and heard that, they would expect exactly this. They’d expect her, the way she was.
She nodded avidly. “Of course. Those walls you built around yourself won’t fool me. I know there’s a more confident, more outgoing, side to you.”
“I don’t know about that.”
She cupped his cheek and looked into his eyes. “But I do.”
He swallowed. “I’ve never felt the way I feel about you. You’ve crashed into my life and knocked everything off balance.”
“I don’t have such words, but, in simple terms, I …” She inhaled. “I feel the same way about you.”
Mitch remembered all the times he worried he shouldn’t say something he might regret. So often, his father’s voice rang in his ears. Don’t bring shame to the family name. Don’t be ridiculous. So, he made himself smaller. More palatable.
But that was all behind him now. He was in college, free from Tanner’s influence. He was entering adulthood: the era when he would figure out who he was, not who his father wanted him to be.
He kissed her, briefly, resting his forehead against hers. “What if I never become more confident?” His voice had a hushed timbre, filled with uncertainty.
Jackie dropped one, two, three sweet kisses along his jaw.
“Then I’ll be extroverted enough for the both of us.
I like everything about you, no exceptions.
I’ve dated cocky guys, guys who were more confident or at least wanted you to believe they were.
You’re so much more than all of them put together. ”
His soul was all but ready to dance a cancan.
She liked him, too. It wasn’t one-sided.
All his worries from mere moments before, about how she would grow bored of him or how this wouldn’t last, lay forgotten at the unlocked gates to his heart.
There was nothing that could get in the way of the happiness filling his chest to the brim.
Jackie tilted his chin up and pressed her soft lips to his, setting off technicolor fireworks inside his chest.
His hands imprinted in the small of her back; her fingers dug into the nape of his neck. Their tongues clashed, setting butterflies free and stoking the flame engulfing their hearts.
Eventually, she broke off the kiss. “So, about that stargazing …”
Mitch dropped one more kiss in the corner of her lips. “Lead the way.”
Dry blades of grass dug into his back through the blanket and gray T-shirt.
Jackie snatched his swim-team sweatshirt on their way out of the house, saying she would probably be cold. She looked at him through the long fringe of her lashes and Mitch knew there was no way he’d ever refuse her anything.
“Do you think we’re the only ones doing this right now?” she whispered, her gaze at the vast sky.
They were laying side by side, so close that their bodies pressed together.