Chapter Nineteen
Mitch
The unending string of “thank yous” and compliments, ranging from his skill to his looks, painted his cheeks crimson.
Mitch wasn’t sure who—whether Estrella or Bruno—was more thrilled to learn that both mare and foal were going to be all right.
Estrella put Bruno on speakerphone, explaining that today was one of his “bad” days.
There were tears and laughter, followed by a fully laden plate of cocadas and a pitcher of milk.
Mitch insisted on staying with Lina and Gus, the foal, until he was certain Gus was nursing fine.
Bruno said he’d keep them company, but Estrella shouted into the speaker that he’d better stay in his chair and she would be back in a moment. Strings of vivid Spanish words carried her out of the barn, leaving Mitch alone with Jackie once again.
They sat on the ground, their backs pushed against the wall, their knees almost touching.
Mitch’s pitter-pattering heart beat so loudly that he was certain it broke through the horse sounds.
“Didn’t you use to hate coconut?” He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, biting back a smile as he watched Jackie devour her third cocada.
“Tastes change.” The tip of her tongue swept across her lip, tantalizingly slowly, to lick away the crumbs.
Something primal stirred deep inside his gut.
Her coquettish grin pushed dimples into her cheeks. “Coconut is really underrated.” She dabbed her lip, brushing away a stray coconut shaving.
Mitch’s mind leaped back in time to some other things Jackie declared underrated, specifically having sex in the water …
Apparently, that was all it took for his cock to turn to wood. Fuck.
Stop thinking with your dick. You just got dumped at the altar. This is so inappropriate.
But this wasn’t just any woman—it was Jackie, and his imagination didn’t need to stretch far to remember everything about her, the noises she made when she came, the way her body stretched against his …
Her elbow brushed his and he jerked away, swallowing. “I’ll take your word for it.” Mitch coughed, forcing himself to think about something else. “What did Estrella mean by Bruno having a bad day?”
“Bruno has Parkinson’s. His meds keep it at bay, but he has better and worse days. Estrella worries about him walking down the stairs on the bad days.” Her gaze slipped away and rested on Gus and Lina. “How long do we need to stay here?”
A low chuckle rumbled deep in his chest. “Impatient much?”
“Just saying what I’m sure you’re thinking, too.” Blowing a breath, she shifted and stretched her legs. “You were amazing.”
“You said that already.”
“I know. But you were. I don’t think it truly hit me before that you’re a real vet. We talked about it so much. I know how much of a dream it was for you. I’m so happy you achieved it. I’d say I’m proud of you, but I don’t want to sound patronizing.”
“You wouldn’t,” he uttered, his throat dry.
“Then I’m proud of you. You worked so hard for it.” She cocked her head. “You said you stopped swimming after college. How did you fund vet school? Did your father eventually come to his senses?”
He sighed. He was hoping they would avoid this topic. “Kind of. People started asking about my plans and he didn’t want his son telling anyone he was a prick, who refused to pay for a grad school unless it was law.”
The muscles in her cheeks contracted as she ground her teeth. “I’m sorry your relationship didn’t improve over the years.”
“I don’t think there’s a relationship to improve anymore.” He raked his hand through his hair. “Even at my wedding, he couldn’t make it about me and show me he cared. He didn’t, what a surprise.”
Mitch should’ve realized that would never happen.
He might’ve won a Noble Prize or achieved world peace, but it’d never be enough for Judge Craigton.
Not since Mitch had given up his promising swimming career ten years ago.
That used to be something Tanner had been very invested in.
But in the past ten years, he had lost all interest in Mitch’s life.
He felt the weight of Jackie’s eyes on him, but he didn’t dare look up. He didn’t trust himself not to tear up on the spot if he saw the familiar concern written all over her face.
“Your father never deserved you, Mitch,” Jackie said slowly. “It was never your fault. It’s always been on him.”
He frowned, dejected. “I know.”
And he did, truly; but it didn’t make it any better.
They were both silent for a beat, watching the newly delivered foal and his mom. Gus pranced around the stall on shaky, thin legs. He swished his tail, wobbled over to Lina and started nursing.
Mitch smiled, relief washing over him. Despite what he’d told Jackie, he wasn’t sure Gus would be all right.
Without any veterinary equipment and no way of administering oxygen if the need arose, he’d felt helpless.
Worst-case scenarios which he’d either witnessed first-hand or heard from other vets or at school had swum in his mind.
If someone looked at the mare and her foal now, not knowing what had happened a mere two hours earlier, they’d have thought it was an uncomplicated birth.
Mitch pinched the bridge of his nose, thinking about Lina.
He’d triple-checked that the placenta she’d delivered was whole, worried that it might’ve torn due to the stress her body had been under during labor.
Even the smallest piece left behind could cause an infection.
He would tell Estrella and Bruno to call their own vet in the morning and ask if someone from her surgery could prescribe and bring round standard prophylactic antibiotics.
“Would you mind driving me back here in a day or two? I’d like to check on them,” he said.
“Of course.” Jackie’s voice wobbled.
Lina neighed and their heads snapped in her direction. Gus was still attached to her, nursing away, his stance sturdier by the minute. Or maybe it was what Mitch wanted to see.
Jackie brought her knees up to her chest, winding her arms tightly around them and staring at Lina and Gus. Color leached from her cheeks, a faraway expression settling in her face. She looked like she’d seen a ghost. Or like she was about to pass out.
Mitch’s eyes widened in alarm. “What is it? Do you feel faint? I can wait here by myself, and you could go wait with Bruno and Estrella.”
“No, I’m fine.” Lips trembling, she turned her head, chin resting on her knees. Her eyes glistened with a sorrow that took Mitch aback.
“No offence, Jackie, but you don’t look fine.”
Forced laughter bubbled from the back of her throat. “Thanks, just what every woman wants to hear.” She swiped her finger over her face and sniffed.
He inhaled, shuffling closer. “You can tell me, you know. If you want.” His hand found her forearm, and she drew in a sharp breath at the contact. “You always said it’s better to tell people things, rather than suffer alone.”
Jackie shook her head. “It’s silly. I haven’t thought about it in a while. I guess seeing Gus and Lina … Well, I shouldn’t be surprised, really.” She exhaled, pointedly looking at the horses. “I can’t have children.”
The four walls of the barn closed in on him. The words echoed, viciously hissing in his ears. A brick weighing a ton dropped through his core.
“I’m so sorry, Jackie,” he managed, sorrow seeping into his words.
He could only imagine how painful it must’ve been for her.
Remnants of conversations, snapshots of memories from the time when they both talked about having a family, her absolute conviction that she wanted to be a mother, the way she affectionatelly told him many times that he’d make a great father …
They all swiveled in his mind, wrecking his heart.
Jackie burrowed her chin deeper into her knees, still not looking at him.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve made peace with it, I think.
Most days, I think I did anyway. But then there are times when it sneaks up on me, like now, and suddenly I can’t breathe.
It’s like mourning something I never got to have, knowing I’ll never experience something I always wanted. ”
Tension and heart-shattering sadness bled from her rigid frame.
He absolutely hated to see her that way.
“Come here,” he murmured, opening his arms without thinking.
She shot him a surprised sideways glance.
“Don’t overthink it, Jackie. Let me give you a hug. It looks like you could use one.”
She didn’t move right away, eyeing him with concern or maybe suspicion.
“Last chance,” he joked, biting back a smile.
With a sigh and the shadow of a smile, she relented.
Their hips touched and her head dropped to his chest, enveloping him in the fruity scent of her shampoo as his arms wound around her body.
He couldn’t stand imagining her struggle with coming to terms with something so earth-shattering on her own. Whatever happened ten years ago, as much as it hurt him, he realized it might have hurt her even more. And he hated to see her hurt, even after all this time.
“I’m sorry,” he said simply.
“So am I.”
He tightened his embrace, wishing to convey with it the strength of everything he wasn’t sure how to put in words.
After a moment that was both not enough and too much, she disentangled herself from him and stood.
Mitch followed suit, brushing speckles of dust and stray blades of hay off his shorts. Taking a step forward, he angled himself so their chests were a wisp away from each other. “I wish you told me why.” His fingers caught a lock of her hair and pushed it behind her ear.
He didn’t elaborate, didn’t mention anything else, but they both knew what he was talking about.
Her lips pressed inward. She stepped away from him and kept walking backward until she put almost the entire barn’s width between them. “Can I thank you for tonight? Maybe I could give you recommendations to which cenotes to see and organize transport for you, on the house?”
Mitch tilted his head. “Or you could go with me, take me to your favorite one.”
Jackie snorted. “Mitch, you know I can’t.”
He raised his brows, watching her intently, waiting for a further explanation, the unspoken “why not?” buzzing between them like a beehive.
“I don’t mix my personal and professional life,” she mumbled.
“Oh, come on, Jackie. Spend one day with me. You said yourself you wanted to thank me.” His lip quirked in a grin. He would’ve helped any animal if he could, without any incentive, but this was definitively a bonus. “Besides, we know each other so well, it doesn’t count.”
She glared at him, any trace of humor absent from her face. “I’m swamped at work for the next three days. I can’t take off to drive around and play tourist. There are things I need to see to, with Christmas coming up and everything …”
“I can entertain myself for three days and then have something to look forward to on day four,” Mitch said, warming to the idea.
Jackie wrinkled her nose at him, grimacing as though she’d run through a catalogue of more excuses in her mind but came up empty-handed. “I guess, since you saved Gus and Lina, it’s the least I can do.”