Chapter Twenty-Three #2
As much as Jackie loved cenotes, she had no wish to get out of the Jeep.
Ever since Mitch had arrived at Mexican Jewel, there had been strange moments between them in which time froze, and all the reason and logic was put on hold to allow her aching heart and heartbroken mind to put non-existent meaning behind gestures and words.
It was almost like they had spent the last ten years living on the fault lines formed in the earthquake of her leaving him.
Maybe fate decided ten years was long enough to heal the fractured surface.
She drew in a sharp breath, eyeing the steep wooden steps leading to one of the cavernous Bocas. Wrapping her arms over her chest, she exhaled. She brought him here. Told him this cenote was her favorite. She couldn’t back out now.
“Jackie? Are you coming? The water’s amazing,” Mitch shouted.
Jackie spotted the flash of his skin down below. “Coming.” She put a shaky foot on the first step.
Water didn’t frighten her, not anymore. But being in an underground cave with Mitch after the drive they’ve shared here? That was way scarier than water and the bats they were probably going to see down there.
She descended the steps, holding on to the railing to steady her nerves.
Even though she’d told Mitch she chose the morning because it was quieter, she didn’t expect it to be this quiet.
They found only three other cars in the parking lot, one belonging to the steward who grunted and smiled as Mitch passed him cash for their admission.
And it seemed that everyone else chose to explore the third Boca first, which was the biggest and open-air one. Mitch of course had to say he wanted to start with the first one, because why wouldn’t he?
She reached the bottom of the steps and sat on the small platform, her legs dipping into the clear blue water. Stray droplets from the stalactites hit the wood.
“I was hoping I’d see you in a two-piece today.” His voice took up the space.
Jackie bit back a smile, moving her toes in the water. She was wearing the same black one-piece he’d seen her in at the pool. “I grew bored with them.”
“Even the red one you liked?”
She locked her elbows, leaning back. “Maybe.”
He swam right up to the wooden platform, his gaze not leaving hers. His hands found their way to her calves. “That’s a shame.”
His deft fingers traveled up, past her knees, and stopped on top of her thighs.
Heat radiated from her cheeks. “Mitch.”
She wasn’t sure if it was meant to be a plea or a warning.
She wasn’t sure anymore if there was any difference between the two.
There was still enough reason at the back of her mind to meekly remind her that acting on these feelings would be a bad idea.
But … for the past ten years, her life had been a string of bad ideas. What was another one to add to the mix?
“Jackie, please.”
The way he said her name broke the wax seal she’d melted over her heart.
She closed her eyes, her heart beating wildly out of sync with her breathing. “Please what?” she whispered, her question echoing off the ragged cavernous walls.
“Please stop thinking so hard. Thinking is overrated.”
“I told you that, once.”
He chuckled, his palms now firmly on her waist. “More than once, or even twice. Now I’m telling you this. Don’t think. Just feel.”
Guided by his strong arms, she pushed herself off the platform. Cool water washed over her skin, goosebumps rising tiny hairs at the back of her neck. She kicked, swimming away from Mitch.
She couldn’t think straight when his hands were on her.
But it didn’t take him long to swim up to her, his lips turned up in a smile. He didn’t say anything; he simply watched her, the shadows and water reflecting on his face. He’d dunked his head underwater earlier and the wet strands of hair now stuck to his forehead.
Heart in her throat, Jackie reached for his face and swept them away.
They were so close. Chests touching, his hands sitting on her waist again.
The thin fabric of her swimsuit did nothing to dampen the heat generated from his touch, even in the cool depths of the cenote.
Air whizzed over her teeth as she laced her hands behind his neck. “And what if it’s the feelings that scare me?”
“Then we can be scared together.” His voice turned raspy as he pulled her close, bringing his forehead to hers. “I can handle fear. What I can’t bear is knowing that somehow, in its twisted way, fate brought us together again. I can’t walk away from you.”
“Mitch—” she started, but he kissed her forehead, his lips lingering there like he wanted to leave their imprint on her skin, tear through the barriers her mind had put up between them.
“I know this is complicated.”
A low laugh rumbled through her chest. “Complicated? You were meant to be married.”
“But I’m not married. And neither are you. Surely, the fact that ten years have passed and we still … We still have this strange …” Mitch drew in a breath, his entire chest shaking as he struggled for air.
“Chemistry?”
He shook his head, not drawing away from her. “What we have goes way beyond just chemistry.” His wet hand cupped her cheek, tilting her head back so she was looking directly into his eyes.
Jackie froze, her hands locked over the nape of his neck, her heart the only moving part of her, thrashing in the remnants of its imperfect, creaking, rusty cage.
How could she give in to what she wanted without telling him everything?
He knows a small part of it. You told him you can’t have children.
There was that, at least. Though it wasn’t enough.