Chapter 5
I stand outside on the balcony, enjoying the fresh morning air after being tucked inside Hendrick’s arms last night.
I think about how my body caved and stretched for him.
I could never be this way with another man.
The love he gives me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
Perhaps I’m too needy. Too greedy for him that I want all of his time when he’s trying his best to provide for us.
Nah…
That’s not it. It can’t be. I used to think that was it, but it’s not entirely. I didn’t get married to be single. I want a connection just like the one we had in the beginning.
Strong chocolate arms close around me from behind. I close my eyes with the breeze in my hair and place my hands on his forearms.
“Good morning,” he says next to my ear.
Aftershocks from last night rock my core at the sound of his voice, coupled with the warmth of his breath touching my neck.
“Good morning.”
“You know we have breakfast with Akuna.”
I chuckle. “Stop calling her that before I accidentally call her that when I see her.”
“The names are similar.”
“They’re not,” I say, turning around to look at him. I kiss him on the lips and say, “We better get dressed. You know she hates it when we’re late.”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
“And don’t forget to play along. She needs to know nothing about this.”
“Got it,” I tell her. “But I don’t know if I can handle you acting like you don’t like me.”
I smile and say, “I’ll make it up to you.”
* * *
We step into the little café just down the street that’s somehow still a part of the resort.
This is our first time here, but by the smell of things, I’m sure it won’t be our last. When I first walked in, I saw a woman with a plate of French toast with bananas, blueberries, and cream.
Yep, I know what I’m eating for breakfast!
Hendrick gets that and the egg breakfast. Dr. Makalua gets a chia bowl topped with strawberries and almonds.
As we wait for our food, she wastes no time getting right down to business when she takes out two small notebooks and two pens, handing them to us.
She says, “It’s Thursday. I thought we’d start the day by doing an activity you did at the beginning of this journey.
I want you each to write down three things you like about each other. ”
I glance up at Hendrick with a sneaky grin on my face.
The thing about this time is, I could totally sing Hendrick’s praises and the doctor wouldn’t have a clue that we planned this.
Or, I could be truthful and Hendrick wouldn’t know if I’m being real or putting on a facade.
I suppose it doesn’t matter – just as long as we get through this breakfast.
I click the pen open and start my list.
I like the way he had me begging for mercy last night.
I had to grin to myself about that one.
I like the way he kisses me.
Hmm…do I keep that one, or is it all about me and not him?
Okay….
I like the way he looks at me
I love how he takes care of himself and his body
I like how hard he works
Yeah, I’ma go with that.
I look up at him and smile.
He narrows his eyes. I playfully narrow mine in return.
“Okay,” the doctor says. “Hendrick, why don’t we start with you first?”
“Sure. I wrote down that I like the way she puts everyone ahead of her own needs.”
“In what way?” I ask. I know I’m not supposed to interrupt, but I just have to know what he means.
He says, “You make sure everyone else is good before you are. You’re selfless that way. It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you.”
“One?” I ask, raising a brow.
“Yes. There are plenty others.”
I glance at his lips and connect back to his eyes when he says, “Two, I like the way she cooks. She’s great at doing a lot of things, but cooking is way up there on the list.”
“Okay, and what’s number three?”
He grins nervously. I’ve never seen Hendrick Vaillant nervous about anything, and I’m sure the doc can’t detect it, but I can.
He says, “I wrote a paragraph for number three, so I’ll just read it off.
” He clears his throat and says, “I like the way she smiles. The way her cute little laugh lives inside me. I like the way she holds on to me at night when we’re resting.
The way she clings to me like she never wants to let me go.
I like the way she trusts me with her body.
The way she gives her all to me. Her mind and her soul.
I love the way she breathes. The way she angles her head upward and looks at me like I’m the only thing in the world that matters to her. There. That’s what I wrote.”
He glances at me, showing happiness on his face and a glimmer of sadness in his eyes at the same time.
“That was very thoughtful,” the doc says. “Wouldn’t you say so, Lanai?”
“I would,” I say, still looking at Hendrick from across the table.
“Okay, now it’s your turn.”
“Okay. Um…I don’t know if mine will top his—”
“That’s okay,” Hendrick says. “It’s not a competition. Just…truth.”
“You took the words right out of my mouth, Hendrick,” Dr. Makalua says.
Their eyes settle on me. All of a sudden, I feel like I’m in the spotlight and needing to say all the right things.
I say, “Okay. I wrote down that I like the way you look at me, how hard you work, and how you take care of yourself and your body.”
“Hmm…” he says.
I smirk and ask, “What was that hmm for?”
“I was just wondering…you said you like the way I look at you. What way is that exactly?”
“In a way that tells me you care. That I’m the only woman you could ever want. Ever desire. You look at me like your life isn’t complete without me in it. Like you’re the moon, and I’m the sun. Without either, life couldn’t exist, and we’d be—well, what we are now. Broken and nonexistent.”
I take a deep breath. A small, sad, faint smile settles in the left corner of my lips as the food arrives.
I take a bite of French toast and, in my mind, I’m diving deeper into what I said.
It wasn’t a fallacy, and I’m not sure if Hendrick thinks it is or not, but I spoke the truth to him just now.
Maybe later, I’d get to explain so he doesn’t have to sit across the table and stare at me over his coffee cup.