Chapter 16
Ana managed to avoid all talk of Cole during the flight and the fitting at the elite New York bridal boutique. But once the sky began to darken and the day drew to a close, they were chauffeured to yet another of Rhys’s family’s hotels and throughout check-in, Ana felt Quinley’s stare boring into her with renewed intensity.
She and Quinley were booked to share a two-bedroom suite, with Quinley’s two younger sisters sharing the adjoining the suite.
“Okay, we are finally alone,” Quin said the moment the door shut behind them, her demeanor changing from bride mode to demanding interrogator. “Spill every single detail now.”
“Whatever do you mean,” Ana said in a droll voice.
“You’re kidding me, right? Ana. You had a man in yo’ house when I called you this morning. It’s, like, the first time that’s ever happened. So hurry up and tell me how it happened.”
Ana rolled her eyes and dumped her purse on the sofa table beside a bottle of chilled champagne before walking around the end to plop down on the luxurious leather couch. One thing was certain: first-class treatment had perks.
One of Rhys’s employees had met them at the airport and transferred their luggage to the hotel while a driver had taken them to the fitting, on to a late lunch, and then to the hotel to relax before they dressed for a Broadway show.
This, she thought, sighing as she sank deeper into the buttery-soft cushions, was the frosting on a very rich cake. So why did her spidey senses tell her something was off with Quinley?
“I let you off the hook with the sisters around because I know you like your privacy, but you aren’t going to avoid this conversation,” Quinley said as she made herself at home on the sofa perpendicular to Ana’s, a glass of champagne in her hand.
“Careful,” Ana said, opening one eye long enough to shoot Quinley a knowing stare. “Or any question you ask me will require you answering one of mine.”
Quinley set her chin in a determined slant and narrowed her gaze. “Why would that bother me? I have nothing to hide.”
“No?” Ana asked, pretty sure Quinley had some major bridal jitters going on she had yet to confide, if not full-blown cold feet. And that was something Ana could totally understand. She’d been afraid of not being up to the challenge of being a military spouse, but God only knew what it would take to be married to a billionaire.
And while some might think it easy, Ana’s parents had proven money didn’t buy happiness. Not that they had anywhere near the cash Quinley was about to marry.
Quinley was gorgeous and definitely qualified as arm candy, but she had a brain and a God-born drive that proved she wasn’t the type to be content with spa treatments and ladies’ lunches. Though Quinley certainly wasn’t opposed to those things, either.
“No, I don’t. Now stop stalling. The last I knew you were upset with me texting Cole a simple question about whether that night was business or pleasure. Now you’re sleeping with him?”
“I am not.”
“Ana, I’m not passing judgement.”
“I am not,” she repeated, forcing her lashes up when she really could use a nap. Between her sleepless night and dreams of the man in question, Cole’s morning surprise, the trip and the stresses of the day, she was exhausted. “When I woke up this morning, Cole was in my house. Ben had let him in after Cole offered to pick him up for work.”
“Oh. Well, that’s definitely a letdown.”
Ana huffed at Quinley’s droll statement and rolled her head on the back of the sofa to stare at her friend. “A letdown?”
“You realize I saw the man, right? Ana, he’s gorgeous, and he’s obviously into you. I certainly wouldn’t blame you for finally dusting off the old??—”
“Quinley!”
“Don’t look at me like that. Unless you have some super-secret life, you haven’t had sex since Ben’s father. Does it even still work?”
“I am not having this discussion with you.”
“Fine, I suppose we are getting off track. Cole. Into you. But not sex. Keep going,” Quinley ordered after summarizing the gist of their conversation.
“Cole and I aren’t ever going to be anything but friends.”
“Why not? Ana, he let Ben off the hook without calling the cops, he used that lame excuse for getting you to attend the ball with him—not to mention the fact that you’re still hooked on him.”
“Cole and his brothers were extraordinarily kind when it came to Ben because it would’ve meant jail time. I am extremely grateful for that kindness, but what Cole and I had is long over.”
“He was at your house this morning.”
“So?”
“So, how many times has he been to your house?”
“What?”
“Was that the first?”
“No,” she admitted softly.
“How many times, Ana?”
Feeling the trap quickly closing over her, Ana grimaced. Quinley had always had a way of pulling information from Ana like a tsunami pulled water from the beach. Just sucked it right out of her no matter how hard she tried to hold back. “A few. He’s dropped Ben off after work and…was there last night.”
“Last night and this morning?” Quinley asked, sounding smug.
“Cole stopped by to bring Ben some pie because Ben revealed that dinner with my parents hadn’t gone well. Cole was checking on him.”
“And on you,” Quinley said. “So you talked to him? Cole didn’t knock on the door, hand over the dessert, and leave?”
“Why are you pushing this?”
“Because I want you to see what I see.”
“I see that it’s over. We were kids, and it was a first-crush, first-love kind of thing.”
“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. Or that he doesn’t care about you now. Why else would a man go out of his way to stop by your house and use pie as an excuse to see you?”
“If you’re going to keep at me like this all weekend, I hope you have a lot more of that champagne,” Ana said dryly.
Quinley grinned and surged off the couch to fetch another glass for Ana.
When Quin delivered the bubbly, she plopped down directly beside Ana, shifting on the luxurious couch to face her. Ana groaned. “Stop staring at me like that.”
“I will if you keep talking,” Quinley said. “What did Cole say to you last night?”
“Nothing.”
“He must have said something. Especially if he came back this morning. Did he bring more pie?” Quinley asked in a teasing tone.
Ana tilted the glass up and downed the champagne in three swallows.
“Girl,” Quinley said, crawling up to her knees to retrieve the bottle on the sofa table behind the couch.
While she refilled the glass, Ana said, “He made breakfast.”
Quinley squealed and sat back on the cushion, champagne glass in one hand and the bottle in the other. “He cooked for you?”
“He cooked,” Ana said warily, lifting her free hand to her face to rub the champagne-bubble itch from her nose. “And then you called, and Ben gabbed about this weekend, and Cole volunteered to watch Ben so I could come because… Well, you’re normally my sitter and asking my parents was definitely out of the question, and since Ben didn’t bring up staying with one of his friends instead of Cole, I took it to mean he didn’t want to. I think something happened with his friend Mason. Ben never talks about him anymore.”
“Okay, see, I am going to pretend I didn’t just hear you admit you forgot to get Ben-coverage for this weekend since you are, in fact, here, and remain focused on the hot former marine in your life.”
“He’s not, Quinnie.”
“Oh, he’s so hot.”
“I meant he’s not in my life,” Ana said, glaring at Quinley. “Not in the way you mean.”
“It looks like he’s certainly trying to be. Ana, the night of the ball, you said you weren’t sure if Cole would ever want anything more with you. You questioned if he would forgive you. Obviously he has. So why are you now holding back? It doesn’t make sense.”
Ana sipped her drink, feeling the impact of downing the first one as her brain slowly muddled. She never drank more than a glass of alcohol because she never forgot that fateful night when she’d screwed up so badly.
But here with Quinley and the rampant confusion, she took another sip, needing the muddle to help calm the turmoil raging inside her brain. “Because…I didn’t know what I know now.”
“Meaning?”
A grunting groan escaped her, and she closed her eyes, picturing Jonesie’s pain-carved expression. “At the ball, one of Cole’s friends told me something…about Cole and what happened in the time after I sent that email.”
“What happened?”
Ana stared across the room and out the floor-to-ceiling windows to the twinkling lights of the city beyond. “I knew sending that email would hurt Cole. He loved me, so of course it would hurt, but I didn’t think… I had no idea that he’d take it so hard that he’d do what he did,” she said, explaining what she’d learned from Jonesie the night of the ball. “Cole all but confirmed it, though of course he tried to downplay it because he said someone had to do the things he’d done. But he volunteered, Quinley. And the reason why is obvious.”
“Oh, Ana….”
“See what I mean? Not only do I have to say no because of Ben, because the last thing Ben needs is for one more person to come into his life only to walk out and abandon him, but I have to say no because of what I now know about Cole, too.”
“I get it,” Quinley said softly. “That’s…heavy. And you have good reasons. But you are sitting there assuming it won’t work out. Cole’s not that guy anymore, just like you aren’t that same scared girl.”
“I can’t risk it, Quinley. That careless, immature, stupid girl hurt him because she didn’t stop to consider the impact it would have on Cole to receive an email like that where he was at the time. I should’ve waited until he came home again. If I’d done that…”
“If you’d done that, you wouldn’t have Ben.”
Quinley’s words hit like a lightning strike, piercing her very soul as Cole’s words about fate and serendipity and God came to mind. If timing was everything, she had to include Ben into that notion as well. “And regardless of how hard it’s been, I don’t regret my son.”
“Of course you don’t.”
“But now that I know how Cole reacted…I won’t risk hurting him like that again.”
“I suppose it’s a plus that you’re at least admitting there’s something between the two of you and not deceiving yourself.”
Once again, Cole’s words taunted her, and she thought of how pleased he’d been that she’d referred to the two of them as an ‘us.’
Tired of the champagne and the conversation, Ana leaned forward to set the flute on the coffee table at their feet. “No, I-I can’t deny that. Even if I tried, Cole made his desire clear last night…when he kissed me.”
“And things just got a whole lot more interesting…” Quinley drawled, her eyes widening with the news. “He kissed you? And you’re just now telling me?”
Ana pressed both palms over her eyes and groaned. “It doesn’t matter because it won’t happen again.”
“Ha! Aren’t those famous last words.”
“No, I mean it, Quinnie,” Ana said, lowering her hands to glare at her best friend. “I never should have left Ben in Cole’s care. It sends the wrong signal. It says he’s wearing me down and— I love you, but I shouldn’t be here. I should be home handling my life.”
Quinley snuggled up to Ana’s side and laid her head on Ana’s shoulder, and minutes ticked by in silence.
“You know we’ll always be good, right?” Quinley said. “I mean, if you hadn’t come with me, yeah, it would’ve hurt but only because I can’t imagine doing all of this without you. If you want to go home, I won’t stop you or guilt you. But here’s some unsolicited advice,” she said, drawing back to look at Ana. “You’re already here. Ben’s with Cole. The decision was made, and it’s only a short weekend. We fly back first thing Sunday morning. Is there any way you can give me tomorrow and not leave me stranded with the sisters? I love them, but they’re not you.”
Quinley did love her sisters, but they were both quite a bit younger than her and they didn’t always get along.
And Quinley was right. It was Friday night. Ben would be asleep soon and working all weekend at Blackwell’s anyway. Why end the trip and go home to sit at the house or work at the boutique when she could be having a rare weekend of fun with her bestie?
Ana’s groan turned into a laughing nod. “I suppose I can stay in this magnificent hotel another day if I have to.”
“Yes! Thank you for not abandoning me.”
“You’re welcome,” Ana said softly, leaning her head back against the cushion with a bounce. “Quinnie, why does life have to be so complicated?”
“Are you sure you’re not making this thing with Cole more difficult than it has to be? That night when you got ready for the ball… I actually thought maybe… You seemed excited and…hopeful.”
“I suppose I was,” she admitted. “For a moment, I thought Cole and I were finally going to get that happily-ever-after I used to dream of. And then the truth smacked me upside the head when I heard what Cole did.”
“So you’re giving up?”
Ana’s smile fell at the words. “Some might say a brand-new boutique, a handsome son, and living at the beach is enough. I can be happy with that. I mean, Cole and I can find a way to be friends but…keep it at that? Right? I can play it safe for all our sakes?”
Quinley leaned forward and scooped up Ana’s half-empty glass, shoving it back into Ana’s hand.
“Is Cole the type to play it safe?”
Ana stilled and then slogged back the champagne like it was a magic elixir she needed to right her world. “No… He’s kind of an all-or-nothing guy.”
“And what about you?”
“What about me?”
“What do you want, Ana? Because a man like Cole isn’t going to stay on the shelf. You know Cole’s past and, yeah, it’s heavy, but that chapter is over. He’s put it behind him, and he’s obviously ready to try again. Why can’t you?”
“I just told you.”
“You’re scared that if it doesn’t work, he’ll go to that place again,” Quinley said.
“Of course I am! Wouldn’t you be?”
“Maybe. I mean, Ana, I get what you’re saying. That time in your life was traumatic for both of you, but maybe it’s time to hear some tough love,” Quinley said, setting the flute down to stand and move to the windows.
“What do you mean?” Ana asked with a wary tone.
“Look, we’ve all got some kind of baggage we’re lugging around, but from the sound of it, Cole’s dealt with his. You haven’t.”
“That’s not fair. I have built a really good life for Ben and myself. I have dealt with things. What I can’t do is ignore how Cole reacted. He could have been killed. How can I not take that into consideration?”
Quinley swung around to face her. “Because even though he could have been, Cole’s still living. He’s ready to take the risk and love you even though there’s a chance he’ll get hurt again, but you? You’re hiding behind one excuse after another.”
“I abandoned Cole even though I loved him. Then Ben’s father abandoned him, and my parents abandoned both of us,” she said, surging to her feet only to stand there trembling, fists clenched at her side and around the stupid empty glass she fought the urge to throw. “You don’t think that’s payback for how I hurt Cole? Because I sure see it as such. That’s why I’m trying to do the right thing here. I don’t want to hurt Cole again. I don’t want to be hurt. I just— I can’t go through that again.”
Quinley’s expression softened and lost the battle-ready sternness it had held moments earlier.
“Oh, Ana. I get it. I do. But what if that’s the difference between existing and living?”