Chapter 21
Was that your father?”
Quinley’s question came shortly after the judge left the boutique for the second time later that week, and Ana had settled herself on the stool behind the counter. “It was.”
“And has he ever just popped in for a visit since you moved out of the house?”
A laugh bubbled out of her chest. “Nope. But it’s the second time this week. He stopped in to pick up a few things for Mom for Christmas.”
Quinley made her way over to the counter and set her small purse atop it, giving Ana a once-over.
“I don’t see any blood.”
Ana gave her friend a small smile and shook her head, still coming to terms with the fact she and her father were getting along. Like the last fifteen years or so hadn’t left them on opposing sides. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I had plans with Lachlan, but something came up, and he cancelled. I was hoping you’d be my date instead. I’ll feed you, and you can tell me about Daddy Dearest.”
She should probably head home and finally do the laundry and chores piling up from her weekend away, but truthfully she didn’t look forward to the tasks. She and Ben had yet to put any decorations on the tree, but when she’d mentioned decorating it tonight, Ben had asked if Cole could come and help. She’d quickly let the subject drop. “Sounds good. Let me make a few notes for tomorrow, and we’ll go.”
Her father’s hour-long visit and shopping spree had bumped her sales in a nice way. Better still, Ana knew her mother would love the items and brag about them to her friends. All good things.
Done for the day, Ana grabbed her purse from the office and locked up, taking a moment to appreciate the beauty of the boutique before linking arms with Quinley. “So where are we going?”
Two men stepped away from the walls and moved toward them, and Ana frowned when she realized they were bodyguards. “I thought your security team was just for New York?”
Quinley glared at the men, an angry expression flashing across her features.
“Not anymore,” Quinley muttered. “I’m sorry, Ana. Maybe if we just go upstairs to the restaurant, they won’t be so obnoxious and annoying.”
Quinley wasn’t the type to be rude, but she made her displeasure at being followed clear. Ana glanced at the men and noted they didn’t bat so much as an eyelash at Quinley’s complaint.
They made their way onto the elevator, and Quinley practically growled when the two men stepped inside with them. Ana kept silent, not wanting to stir the pot until she and Quinley could speak freely.
The restaurant was located on the floor below the penthouse suites. It had an expansive view of the Atlantic and Cape Fear River, and an up-and-coming chef Rhys had sourced from Europe along with a local chef rapidly gaining notoriety.
The moment they arrived the hostess recognized Quinley. The woman smiled and greeted them, quickly leading them to a private booth.
“A bottle of wine, please,” Quinley said. “I don’t care what kind.”
The hostess seemed as taken aback by Quinley’s demand as Ana was, but she kept quiet until the woman walked away. “Are you okay?”
“No.”
Ana stared at her best friend and waited for Quinley to elaborate, but she didn’t. “Quinnie, what is going on? You can’t say that and then—nothing.”
A waiter appeared with the wine and flashed the bottle for Quinley’s approval. She waved her hand and then seemed to get distracted by the gorgeous diamond on her ring finger.
Once they were alone, Ana tried again. “You know you can talk to me. Tell me anything, right?”
Quinley squeezed her eyes tightly shut and took a long, deep pull of the wine. “It’s nothing. I’m just moody and stressed and sick of being shadowed like I don’t have a brain in my head and know to watch out for myself. I mean, we’re women. We learn to watch out for ourselves from an early age, you know?”
Quinley was obviously upset over the security detail now permanently assigned to her.
“Tell me about your dad,” Quinley said. “Please distract me.”
Ana gave the surface details of her father’s visit and watched as a sweet smile pulled Quinley’s lips out of the frown she’d worn since her arrival at the boutique.
“That’s wonderful, Ana. Maybe it really is a new beginning. It says something that he came to you.”
“I think so, too. I mean, I hope it is. You know how big of a deal that had to be for the judge to be humbled like that. And to humble himself by owning up to how much he royally screwed up back then and over the years.”
The waiter returned and took their order. Ana hated that they kept getting interrupted, but it couldn’t be helped. Especially since the restaurant was obviously attempting to take special care of Rhys Lachlan’s future wife.
“Wait, so your dad’s visit had something to do with Ben and Cole? I’m confused.”
This time Ana was the one taking a long sip and something on her face must have clued Quinley in that the weekend had been…complicated.
Ana started over, this time filling in the pieces of Cole’s heavy-handedness and how that had led to her father’s first surprise visit. She expected Quinley to back her angry reaction immediately, but Quinley’s silence left Ana frowning. “What? I have a right to be angry and upset.”
“You do. I mean, we feel how we feel, and it’s not up to others to change it.”
“But? I hear a definite ‘but’ in there. Why?” When Quinley tilted her head and lifted one eyebrow, Ana bristled. “Seriously? You, too?”
“Hey, consider me Switzerland. But I think…you have very strong feelings for Cole, and they scare you, so your take might be a little biased.”
“I didn’t overreact. He should’ve called me. Told me Ben had snuck out and—and asked me what to do. Asked me if I wanted him to take Ben to the restaurant and talk to him about his father. Cole isn’t Ben’s parent; I am.”
Quinley tossed back her wine and poured herself another glass. Ana could tell her friend was getting a buzz from the rosiness in her cheeks.
“You’re totally right. But I think you’re forgetting that Ben isn’t a child anymore. He’s growing up, and the fact is he’s going to come to you less and less. It makes sense that he confided in his boss and…friend. Look, Ana, I know I give you a hard time for caving into Ben’s demands, but this once, I think you need to chill.”
“Quinley, he snuck out and planned to ride his bicycle there. He could’ve been killed.”
“Are you upset about that or about Cole? Because all I’m hearing is that you’re mad at Cole.”
She opened her mouth, but no words emerged.
“Look, Ana… Ben obviously didn’t feel he could ask you about his dad, and you have to give him credit for caring enough to not want to hurt you. This was his way of…getting what he needed while stupidly thinking you’d never know and therefore wouldn’t be hurt by it.”
“I can’t believe you’re taking up for Ben after all the times you said I was too easy on him. Not to mention that you’re taking up for Cole making a decision that wasn’t his to make.”
“Ben made the decision before he ever walked out the door that night. I mean, obviously Cole knew he could take Ben home. But Cole also had to know Ben would just sneak out again. Which he would have, because let’s be realistic here. Cole chose to mitigate the danger by driving him there and letting things play out.”
Ana slumped in her seat and held her wine glass like a lifeline. “You sound like my father now. He said practically the same thing.”
“Ana, you know I love you. But you’re a total control freak.”
“Meaning?”
“Some things you can’t control. You couldn’t handle Cole being in the military because it had to come first and you couldn’t control that life. And I get it. It’s not for everyone, and you did the right thing. But Cole’s reaction to you dumping him? That was also out of your control. Just like your parents couldn’t control you and your decisions back then. People have the right to choose so long as they can…own their choices. End of story. Ben made a choice he felt was right for him, and Cole helped him by being there for Ben in his time of need. Shouldn’t that mean more than anything else?”
The truth of Quinley’s words hit like a bomb exploded, shattering through her senses like nothing she’d ever experienced. Maybe it wasn’t the first time she’d heard the words, but it was the first time she felt like they pierced her soul and meant something.
She was trying to control Ben and his decisions. Just like her parents had tried to control her.
She tried to spare Ben the pain of his decisions.
Just like her parents?
As much as it hurt her to think Ben needed anything to do with his biological father, it was his choice, and she’d made it even harder on him—and more dangerous—by not allowing him the freedom to express himself and voice the need to her for fear of hurting her.
As to Cole… She’d not only overreacted, but she’d pushed him away repeatedly because of the past instead of giving him that same choice: the freedom to do and react and decide for himself what he wanted. “I need to go.”
“We haven’t gotten our food yet,” Quinley said.
“I know. I’m sorry. I just— I need to talk to Cole and Ben and—fix this. Somehow. Will you be okay eating alone?”
Quinley lifted her wine glass and smirked. “You know I will be.”
Ana frowned and hesitated. “I can stay, Quinnie. We can talk, and you can tell me what’s really going on with you.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re acting different. Is it bridal jitters or something else? You can tell me.”
“It’s nerves—and those guys,” she said with a tilt of her head toward the guards. “I’m fine. I promise.”
Ana’s gaze shifted to the two men stationed close by. They tried to blend in but failed miserably. “Our lives are changing. Is it… Is it going to be weird for you? If Cole and I work things out? I mean, Cole’s a partner with his brothers in their businesses, but he’s also a limo driver while you and Rhys…will always be the passengers.” She and Quinley had been friends for nearly sixteen years, but her life was changing in major, billionaire-like ways.
Quinley held her glass in one hand and stretched the other across the table to squeeze Ana’s hand.
“Nothing is ever going to get between us. Ever. Now go get that gorgeous hunk of man before it’s too late and he wises up to the fact you’re more than a bit crazy.”
Ana laughed as she got up and wrapped her arms around Quinley. “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“Thank you for always being you. I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.”
Quinley smiled. “Good thing you’re never going to find out.”
Ana hurried toward the elevator and pressed the button. While she waited, she turned back to see Quinley sitting alone at the table, her glass empty once again. Her two bodyguards in view and ever watchful.
The elevator dinged, and she felt torn as the doors opened. She needed to talk to Cole and Ben, but Quinley…
As though she sensed Ana’s indecision, Quinley glanced her way. Her best friend shook her head and mouthed Go, adding a jerk of her head and wave of her hand to indicate the open doors behind Ana.
Ana lifted her hand and mimed call me before she stepped onto the lift.
The doors began to close, and Ana watched as Quinley turned her attention back to the view, looking beautiful and elegant and…sad.
* * *
Ferris wheel.
Cole frowned at his phone screen once again and reread the text from Ana. Not that there was much to it.
Ferris wheel was her safe word. The one he’d created for her to use whenever she needed him. He’d just finished a call with Alec as the text had come through and knew Ben was working at the store with his brother. This wasn’t about Ben.
A second text quickly followed the first.
A pin.
He pressed it and caught his breath when he noted her location.
He’d had a black car service request for an airport run and was on his way back to Carolina Cove, and thankfully already close to the boardwalk. He didn’t want to take precious time swapping vehicles, so he hurried down the final few streets and grumbled until he finally found a parking space big enough for the limo, then left it behind to jog the rest of the way.
He paused, breath seizing in his lungs when he finally spied her, face upturned as she stared at the Ferris wheel.
Afraid to hope, he fisted his hands and forced himself to walk the rest of the way toward her. Ana must have sensed his presence because she turned her head, her gaze meeting his.
“Hey.”
“Hey yourself.” He tilted his head toward the ride. “Wanna ride with me?”
The smile that flashed over her face was tenuous, but she nodded and lifted her hand, showing him two tickets.
“I was really hoping you’d say that.”
They walked toward the ride, both silent as they took fleeting glances at one another. He wanted to ask questions, but with people crowding around them, he knew it wasn’t the time.
Crisp, cold air smoked their breath when it was their turn to climb aboard and settle in. He put his arm along the back of the seat, and she leaned closer to him naturally, like she sought his warmth. Once the attendant double checked they were locked in and had walked away, Cole shifted his attention to the woman beside him.
Her pulse beat rapidly in her throat, and she bit her lower lip, worrying it with her teeth. He lifted his hand and gently freed her lip with his thumb.
Sitting as close as they were, he felt her inhale.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Her beautiful gaze met his, but sadness dulled the light in her eyes.
“I think… I know…I overreacted,” she said softly.
In that moment she looked every bit like a woman who didn’t like having to admit a flaw but was forcing herself to verbalize it anyway.
“I realize now that you made a very difficult decision when you took Ben to the restaurant, but you did it with Ben’s safety and well-being in mind. Quinley pointed out that…I may have been behaving more like my parents than I thought or…ever wanted.”
He winced with wry amusement. “That couldn’t have been easy to hear.”
“Oh, trust me, it wasn’t.”
Her gaze flicked up to meet his before lowering again.
“Especially when…I see now that she’s right.”
The seat jolted and then stopped as the wheel twisted to board other riders.
He stared down at her as she plucked at the edge of her coat.
“When Jonesie told me what happened with you…how you reacted to me breaking things off,” she said, “I blamed myself. And while I do hold some of the responsibility because of how I handled things, I know that I’m not responsible for decisions you made.”
“I’m glad you finally see that.”
“Quinley said something tonight about owning our choices, and it made me realize that also means owning my choice to…not be with you. And I can’t. I don’t want that.”
He stiffened in the seat, pain pummeling him like a prize fighter. “You trapped me on a Ferris wheel to tell me that you don’t want to be with me?”
“What? No, that’s not— I do! I meant I do,” she repeated, squeezing her eyes shut and releasing a sound of pure frustration. “That’s not what I meant. I meant I couldn’t own my decision to push you away because I don’t want to own that. I don’t want to choose that. Oh, I can’t believe I’m messing this up, too. I mean, I don’t want to push you away or lose you.”
He tugged her closer when those words sank in and lowered his lips to her ear. “Now we’re getting somewhere. Keep talking.”
He felt her shiver as his breath tickled her, and she glanced up at him, her expression healing all the broken bits with a single look.
Her fingers gripped the sleeve of his coat as though to hold him in place, and he shifted until he held one of her hands.
“I don’t want this—us—to be another regret on my list. If you’re right and this is our second chance and we get another moment, I want to be with you, and I hope you still feel the same even though I’m obviously a bit of a challenge.”
He laughed at that understatement while the wheel jolted a few more times during the course of her apology. They were now three-quarters of the way to the top. The city lights glittered beneath them, and the noise of the boardwalk faded until the only sound he heard was her soft, anxious breaths. The scent of her filled his head and made him think of tangled sheets and soft sighs. All the years they had to catch up on. “You’re the best kind of challenge, baby girl.”
“Do you mean that? You won’t get…tired of all my insecurities? According to Quinley, I’m a little crazy.”
“You’re the best kind of crazy.”
“Cole…I’m sorry I yelled at you and pushed you away. You were right about me not forgiving myself for hurting you and my parents and—Ben. I’ve held onto all the hurt and pain for so long and… It’s going to take time for me to share him and the responsibilities of raising him. But I don’t want to do it alone anymore. I want…whatever’s next. I want you. I want us.”
He pressed a kiss to her hair and breathed in the scent that was just Ana. Vanilla and coconut and sweetness. Goodness. And a little crazy. “Does this mean you’ve finally forgiven yourself?”
He wanted her to. Because until she forgave herself for the past and stopped running from the pain, she couldn’t deal with it. Couldn’t move on or give them the second chance they deserved.
“I’m trying. I really am.”
A wry smile tugged at his lips. “That’s a good start.”
The wheel moved and stopped yet again, and the carriage swayed from the motion, rocking them.
Ana leaned her head back on his biceps, face tilted toward him. She looked worried still, and nervous.
“I said some really horrible things to you,” she whispered. “I wouldn’t blame you for being wary of me. Especially after what happened back then.”
“You mean back in the past that we’re forgiving ourselves for and are moving on from?”
“Can you forgive me? Truly? Will you…give me another chance to love you? Because I think I do. To be honest, I don’t think I ever stopped.”
He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers, holding her gaze and watching as it softened and darkened. Her lips were cold, trembling beneath his until he deepened the kiss. “What breakup?” he asked against her lips before kissing her again. “I love you, too, baby girl.”
He vaguely registered the Ferris wheel moving, felt it the moment they’d rounded the top only for them to stop again.
Cole broke the kiss and nuzzled his lips along Ana’s cheek into her hair. He memorized her scent, the feel of her skin. The hitch in her breath when he nipped her earlobe. “Open your eyes,” he said. “Watch us start our second chance.”
The wheel gave way, and the rush of the fall began as it spun without stopping. This time they went round in a full circle of lights and blurred faces and cold wind, rising to the top again. And then again.
Ana’s bubbly, tearful laugh filled him with a happiness and joy unmatched by anything else. He squeezed her tighter and cradled her closer and used his hold to claim her lips again as the wheel spun round and round and whirled them out of the past and into their new beginning.