Chapter 12
twelve
Carolina
Icouldn’t get that message out of my mind.
Sleep evaded me last night as I tossed and turned from fear he’d find me.
My immediate reaction was to grab Luke and run again.
But I couldn’t do it.
There was more at stake now.
Leo knew about Luke, and Luke was overjoyed that his dad was in his life. I couldn’t take that away from him just yet. If ever.
I tried to hide my stress from Luke this morning, but I wasn't sure if I succeeded. He’d woken up his usual grumpy self but quickly rambled on and on as he ate his breakfast about the next thing Leo and he would do together.
When I didn’t give him an excited reaction, he grew quieter as if he could sense my unease.
As I thought back on it, I hated that he could tell I was upset, but I couldn’t do anything to change it.
Another worry that crossed my mind was if Leo found out that I was in danger that he may insist on taking Luke from me to protect him.
I couldn’t risk losing my son, but I also couldn’t risk losing my life either.
I called the detective on my case on my way to work and left a message, but he’d yet to return it.
All day at work in between patients, I’d checked my phone but came up empty each time.
My frustration grew more as the day passed by. I hated that this was a waiting game. I hated that he couldn’t just leave well enough alone. I didn’t understand his fascination with me when I’d done nothing to warrant it.
I just knew that I needed to keep Luke safe.
“You okay?” one of the nurses asked as we left for the day.
“Yeah, why?”
“You just seemed rather quiet today. Not your usual chipper self,” she responded as we locked up for the night and stepped out onto the sidewalk.
“I just didn’t sleep last night.” The lie slipped off my tongue easily. Too easily.
“Go and get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day,” she said with a smile and a wave before she headed to her car.
I couldn’t help but look around to see if I saw anything out of the ordinary, paranoid that he’d found me and lurked in the distance as he waited for the perfect moment to strike.
I shook off my unease and hurriedly walked to my car.
As soon as I got inside, I immediately locked the door, feeling marginally safer, but not fully.
I wouldn’t feel completely safe until whoever was stalking me was found and put behind bars. Until then I’d remain hypervigilant and hope that he stayed far away from Texas.
The whole way to my parents’ house I gave myself a pep talk so that neither my mom nor dad would notice anything wrong. I didn’t want anyone to worry or know the situation had escalated until I knew for sure and had talked with the detective.
My parents knew about the stalker, but not the extent of what had happened to cause me to abruptly leave South Carolina and come back home.
After I pulled into their driveway, I sat in the vehicle for a few minutes to collect myself.
I shook my arms and took a deep breath before I got out. I couldn’t take too long to go inside or an inquisitive seven-year-old would bound out of the house and ask way too many questions. Ones I couldn’t answer.
“Where’s everyone at?” I called out as I entered my parents’ house.
“In the kitchen,” my mom yelled back.
How’d I know she’d be in there? She lived in the kitchen, and Luke was probably helping her cook dinner.
I walked into the kitchen to find Luke on the step stool behind the island with an apron on as my mom supervised him stirring the contents in the pot. By the smell of things, she was making spaghetti. I’d know the smell of her sauce anywhere.
“You want to join us for dinner?” my mom asked without looking up at me; her sole attention was on Luke making sure he didn’t get too close to the stove.
“Sure. It smells delicious. You need help with anything?”
“I helped Grandma make the sauce from scratch, Mom. She doesn’t buy it out of the jar like you do,” Luke said as he continued to stir the sauce.
My mom tried to hide her laughter, but I heard her anyway.
I’d tried to make my mom’s sauce once, and it was a catastrophic failure. I never tried again.
“You want to set the table? The garlic bread will be done in a minute,” my mom said as she looked up at me.
Laughter was still in her eyes. I loved how happy she looked and how she had taken on the role of helping me with Luke the minute we’d moved back.
During our video chats, she looked like she’d wanted to ask so many times about us moving back, but she never did.
She knew how important it was to me to be independent, and she was just an encouraging ear whenever I needed to vent or gave out advice only when I asked.
I put my purse down and rounded the island to get the plates out of the cabinet. Once I had those in hand, I grabbed the silverware and walked over to the breakfast nook and set the table.
“Where’s Dad?” I asked once I was finished and sat down at the table and watched Luke’s serious face as he stirred the sauce.
“He’s in the den watchin’ somethin’ on television,” she said as she helped Luke down from the step stool so she could check the bread.
“Watch your back, sweetheart. This is goin’ to be hot,” she warned Luke as she waited for him to step far enough back that he wouldn’t get burnt and pulled the tray of bread out of the oven with her oven mitt covered hand.
My mom brought over the bowl of spaghetti noodles, the pot of sauce, and the bread she’d put in a basket, and called out to my dad to let him know dinner was ready.
After my dad said grace, we all made our plates and enjoyed our meal.
Luke told me all about his day with my parents and as he talked I looked back and forth between my parents.
As they ate, they never took their eyes off Luke as they listened to him boast about his adventures.
I loved their attentiveness to him and loved how much Luke enjoyed being with them every day.
Once dinner was done and our bellies were full, I asked Luke to go into the den with my dad under the guise of helping my mom clean up dinner.
Luke was happy to have more time with them and bound off to the den without a fuss, and my dad followed behind him, chasing him down the hall. The laughter of the two of them echoed down the hall, bringing a smile to my face.
“He’s full of energy, that one,” my mom said as we cleared the table. She stored the leftovers while I rinsed the dishes. Once they were loaded into the dishwasher, she leaned against the counter with a towel in her hand and stared at me.
“What?” I asked as I looked down at my hands. She could always tell when something was wrong with me. I should’ve known today would be no different.
“What do you want to talk to me about?” my mom asked.
“How’d you know?” I asked, genuinely curious as to how she managed to tell.
“A mother always knows. You’ll see that when Luke gets older,” she said, not elaborating on her secret.
“Can we make a cup of tea and talk?”
“Absolutely,” she said, not batting an eye.
She put the kettle on to boil and got down two teacups.
“What kind of tea would you like?”
“Chamomile if you have it. If not, anything is fine,” I responded. The type of tea didn’t matter. The advice from my mother was all that mattered at that moment.
“Chamomile coming right up,” she said as she put a tea bag in each cup and grabbed the honey.
The kettle whistled moments later, causing me to jump out of my swirling thoughts. I tried to figure out a way to ask my mother about her thoughts on my situation without alluding to the fact that something else had happened.
Once the water was poured into the cups, she added a squirt of honey to each and picked up both cups. We walked back over to the table and sat down. I didn’t know how to begin this conversation, so I sat there stirring the water around and around and steeping the tea bag.
“You gonna tell me what’s bothering you some time this year?” my mom asked. Looking up at her, she smirked as she waited for me to speak.
“I’m scared,” was all I managed to choke out.
“Of what, sweetheart?” Her smirk immediately disappeared, and a look of concern crossed her face. She placed her hand over mine to give me comfort to continue.
“I don’t want this to come out wrong. I’m so happy Luke has Leo in his life, but I’m scared.
What if one day Leo tries to take him from me?
Or, what if Leo finds out why I moved back, and decides that Luke is in danger and he wants to take him from me?
” I said in a hushed tone, so Luke didn’t have the chance to overhear.
I’d never do anything to hinder his relationship with his dad.
And if he heard I was scared, he’d likely react differently around Leo because he was protective of me and my feelings.
“What’s bringin’ this on? Has Leo said somethin’ to make you think that?”
I bit my lip as I thought about how to respond.
“No, Mom. He hasn’t said anything. It’s just where my brain goes,” I explained, unsure of how to express properly why I’d even think that way when Leo had given me no indication.
“But why? Did somethin’ else happen?”
“No, not really. I guess it’s just that I’ve had Luke to myself all these years, and I never had to worry about splitting my time with him. Now everything is changing, and I have to consider someone else in the equation. It’s hard to navigate,” I rambled out, speaking way too fast.
“I can’t say I get it, because I’ve never been in that situation, but it’s only been a couple of days.
I know you don’t like change and you just had a huge one when you moved back here.
Now you’re having to learn how to coparent.
Give yourself some grace. You handled the situation you’re in respectfully and in the best interest of Luke.
Don’t worry about something that hasn’t happened yet.
It will likely never happen. I don’t see Leo as the malicious type to try and take Luke.
If you’re that worried about it, talk to him.
See where his head’s at and go from there,” my mom said.