Chapter 14
Bastet
I paced around the room, drawing the attention of multiple cats as they watched me curiously.
There was a part of me that wanted to explain what was happening to them, but I didn't think they'd fully understand the complexities of human relationships.
It wasn't that their own couldn't get complicated, but feline relationship problems and human relationship problems were two entirely different things.
A knock sounded on the front door, and I took a deep breath, knowing that this was the make-or-break moment for my relationship with Ptah. If the conversation didn't go well, then there'd be no future at all for us. But if it did...
I pushed those thoughts to the side and headed over to the door, undoing the catch and letting Ptah into the sanctuary. The urge to go up on my toes and kiss him was strong, but I ignored it. As much as I wanted to do that, I knew that it was better to wait until after we'd had a conversation.
"Hey," he said.
"Hi. Come in." I stepped back and tried to ignore the brush of him against me as he stepped past, or the fact that his scent lingered by the doorway. It reminded me of all the times we'd been close together, including the other night when we'd been entwined in my bed.
I led him through to the kitchenette and gestured for him to sit down at the table. It's laden with nibbles, along with a pitcher of water and two empty glasses.
"This is nice," he said.
"I didn't think there was any reason to have this conversation without refreshments.
" I looked at him, not entirely sure what to make of my own decision.
It wasn't exactly signalling that I was hesitant about our relationship.
But then again, I supposed that I wasn't. I knew what I wanted from today, I just didn't know if it was what I was going to get.
"I was relieved to get your message," he said.
I nodded. "I thought we should talk." I took a seat opposite him, not trusting myself to be any closer than this. I wanted to have all of my wits about me.
"I'm sorry about the other day," he said. "I really didn't mean to be late."
I let out a sigh. "I know you didn't mean to be late, but isn't that the problem we've always had? We never meant to keep one another waiting, but we always did it anyway."
He grimaced. "It wasn't like how it used to be," he responded.
"Wasn't it?"
He took a deep breath. "I was cornered by a journalist after I left here the other day. They wanted to know more about me as a god," he said.
"That's not good."
"No. I was worried about it, especially when they were so close to your sanctuary," he said.
"That doesn't really explain why you were late, unless you spoke to the journalist for hours," I pointed out, a little confused about where exactly this was going.
He took a deep breath. "No, I barely talked to him at all except for saying that I wasn't who he thought I was. But he was persistent. I spent the rest of the day trying to track down who was in charge of the paper he worked at. I knew it was likely going to be one of the gods."
"Was it?" I asked.
He nodded. "Hermes. I went over to his office to try and talk to him, but he was busy until late in the day, and you can imagine what happened then.
I didn't want to keep you waiting, but I also couldn't let a journalist keep running around and potentially uncovering some truths about the gods and our lives. What if he'd exposed us?"
"Then we'd have found a new way to live," I pointed out. "It's not as if the gods haven't been out in the open before. We dealt with it then, we'd deal with it again."
Surprise flitted over his face. "You think it would be fine if we were exposed?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "But I guess that's not the point. So, you were meeting with Hermes about this?"
Ptah nodded. "I thought I'd be there much sooner after the meeting ended."
"You should have messaged me," I said. "Or done something."
"I couldn't. My phone died."
"And you couldn't have borrowed one? Or charged it? Or anything like that?"
He grimaced. "When you say it like that, then yes, I should have done."
"Mmhmm."
"I'm sorry."
"I know that." I took a deep breath, completely ignoring the food in front of us. It was a good idea, but I couldn't focus on anything other than this conversation. "I guess we just have to decide where this leaves us."
Hope lit up his face. "You don't want to end things for good?"
"No," I said softly. "I've never felt the way I feel around you, around anyone else. I don't want to lose that."
He shifted forward in his seat. "I don't either."
"But I also can't go forward and have a repeat of the last time we were together. We can't keep going like that."
He nodded, which was a relief in itself. "I didn't like letting you down the other day. I hated it back when we were together too."
"It wasn't fun," I said. "And I know that it was me too.
It just happened to be you who did it this time, and I'm aware of that.
" I didn't want him to think that I was blaming him for something that I wasn't capable of myself.
Both of us had made the problems thousands of years ago, and I would be a fool not to consider that when trying to start again.
"So, what do we do?" he asked.
"Talk more," I said. "Message if things come up, and communicate about what we've got planned before dates or time together. I don't really know what else to suggest."
"I don't either." He reached forward and took my hands in his. "I don't want to lose you again."
"You don't have to," I responded. "We just have to talk more."
"We will," he promised. "So is now a good time to ask you for a do-over date?"
I laughed. "That depends on whether you're going to have any meetings with Hermes before it."
"I don't think so. I haven't heard from him since, maybe he won't even do anything about his journalist."
"I'm sure he will," I responded. "It's not the kind of thing he can leave unchecked. Even if he wants to sell papers, he won't want to be ostracised from the society of gods and immortals over something like this."
"I hope you're right," he said
"Only time will tell."
His phone blared out from his pocket, and I winced.
"Do you not have it on silent?" I asked.
"No," he responded. "I can shut it off." He pulled it out of his pocket, surprise registering on his face.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Hermes. Speak of the messenger god and he shall appear."
"Something like that."
"I can call him back later," he responded.
I shook my head. "Get it now, it'll put your mind at ease. I need to go tend to the cats." I wasn't sure what was going on, but I could hear concerning sounds in the other room, and I wanted to make sure that they weren't up to no good.
"If you're sure?" He looked at me with concern.
"Talk to Hermes," I said as I got to my feet.
He smiled at me, seeming relieved by my response.
And I could understand why, but I wasn't trying to say that he couldn't spend any of his time on other things, especially not when they were important.
I just wanted to make sure that we were communicating and doing what we could in order to make sure that our relationship succeeded this time around, and I was sure that would be the case.