44. Amy #2
“Shh,” Amy hugged her. “I’m sure you’ve done nothing of the kind.
What happened?” Listening, she shook her head as Lottie detailed the events from the wedding: a mystery woman who ended up being Henry’s long-lost daughter, Henry’s ex-wife appearing out of nowhere, an apology from Diadema, and a postcoital argument between Lottie and Henry.
“Wow. Sounds like I missed a lot. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you, but I am now. ”
“I just don’t know how Henry will ever forgive me for what I did. What was I thinking by defending Melanie? Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut?”
“Oh, Lottie,” Amy responded, “what happened between the two of you doesn’t sound like an argument.” She kicked her sandals off and curled up next to her best friend, just like they used to do as teenagers.
“No? It sure felt like one.” Lottie sniffed. “I’m still sick about it.”
“He cares so much about you. I doubt he’s truly angry. I think, more than anything, he’s maybe just shocked that you didn’t automatically take his side.”
Lottie gasped, “That’s not true! The only side I care about is his!”
“And deep down, I’m sure he knows that, but I can understand why Henry got upset.
He just found out he has a daughter, and then his ex-wife, who kept that daughter from him for her entire life, has the audacity to show up?
What a little bitch.” Reaching between them, she held the hand next to hers.
“Then when he’s pouring his heart out to you, poor guy, after what sounds like some mind-blowing sex, by the way, you essentially take her side—” Amy squeezed Lottie’s hand when her friend tried to interrupt.
“You totally did. You could have just heard Henry out, but you throw that DD woman at him? Lottie, why? That’s not like you. Are you still intimidated by her?”
After a beat, she said, “Not really, not anymore. I’m just annoyed that she’s always there-”
“Of course she’s always there! She’s the mother of his new daughter-in-law—it’s unavoidable, really.”
“I know, and I realize I was ridiculous about it, especially since I have no hold on Henry, not really. I guess what I was most upset about goes all the way back to before we were dating, and how much of his time she consumed…how much he let her consume. We could have started seeing each other two years ago. But he went to her before choosing me. I’ve already endured a relationship…
a marriage…where I was never the most important person. ”
“Oh, Lottie, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
” Amy stroked her best friend’s back. “You weren’t ready then for what you have with Henry now.
Yeah, you were attracted to him, but you were newly divorced, living in a new town, a new state, finally figuring out who you were!
It sounds like that’s what Henry’s been doing, too.
Figuring out what he wants. And that’s you.
” Amy gave her a reassuring hug. “He’s not interested in DD. ”
“I know…I’m just scared, I guess.”
“Of what?” Her tears began again, and Amy said, “Oh, Lottie, tell me.”
“That he doesn’t feel the same. I know he cares, but how can I possibly compete with the mother of his children, or the woman who was his first love? “
“First love? That’s a bit dramatic. First crush, maybe, but not love…
not if it wasn’t reciprocated. And as for the mother of his children, she’s done nothing but lie to him for the past, what?
Twenty-something years? Please.” Amy surveyed her friend, so beautiful in the morning light, an aura of serenity despite her anguish.
A man like Henry would never prefer the other two chaotic options over Lottie.
“Besides, that man is prime time in love with you,” Amy declared.
Lottie shook her head. “No quoting Top Gun right now. He isn’t in love with me.”
“He is,” Amy insisted, “look at everything he has done to show you so far. Number one—he made you that special blend of coffee, way back, before you two were even a thing-”
“Right, but he had the two blends already-”
“Number two—he built you that bookshelf for your classroom-”
“Well, he was working on a project for Josh and Effie-”
“And he bought out an entire bookstore to fill the shelves-”
“Well, that’s a slight exaggeration-”
“Number three—he has integrated you into his family: you’re friends with his sister, his sister-in-law, his daughter-in-law…and didn’t you have lunch with his mom a while back?”
“Right, but-”
“No buts! And you were his date to the wedding of the year, knee-deep in helping with everything, am I right? The question, my dear, sweet Lottie, is when will you tell him that you love him?” Her friend’s eyes snapped open, her mouth gaped.
“Please, girl, I’ve known you since we were ankle-biters.
I have never seen you so twisted internally over someone-”
“Hey! I was married for thirty years!”
“Yeah, and at best you were lukewarm. Brady was, and still is, a hottie, and I’ve seen women throw themselves at him, but you never let any of it bother you.”
“I knew he would never cheat, despite us being ‘lukewarm’ as you say!”
“Hey, I got that phrase from you! So, what, you think Henry would cheat on you?” Amy let her words sit there, for Lottie to mull over.
Her answer was immediate. “No—it’s just…how could I possibly compete with either Melanie or DD? I can’t.”
“Has Henry said anything that makes you believe you have to compete?” Lottie shook her head emphatically.
“Okay, and has he actually used the phrase ‘my first love’ for DD?” Again, Lottie shook her head.
Amy highly doubted Henry even thought of DD in those terms. “I know you’re scared and vulnerable, because you’ve never had to put your heart on the line before.
But you’re worth it. Henry is worth it.” Another brief pause. “If you love him, that is.”
Eyes sparkling with tears, Lottie quickly affirmed, “I do. I love him, Ames. So much. In every way. His warmth. His weight when he surrounds me. His smile that shakes me to my core every single time.” She drew a deep breath.
“His hands on my skin, slightly rough. The way he smells like oil after work, and then sweet, like soap, after he showers.” Amy blushed at the intimacy of her friend’s words, but Lottie, too enthralled thinking of Henry, didn’t notice.
“More than anything, my heart misses his, with the thoughtful ways he shows me every day that he cares. He’s loyal and honorable, completely devoted to the people he cares about.
” Lottie wiped at her eyes with the edge of the blanket.
“Amy, I am so in love with him that it’s made me stupid, I guess. I’m an idiot, imbecile, ignoramus-”
“Okay, how about we lay off the nasty words beginning with the letter I, okay?” Amy wiped tears from her own eyes.
“You are fucking brilliant and babe-a-licious, and the best person anyone could ask for, in any capacity. You deserve an all-consuming love, Lottie. That man worships you. He’s your second chance at forever. Don’t give up on it.”