Chapter Thirty
The fireworks had been spectacular, blues, greens, reds, pinks lighting up and cascading down in the sky.
Oohs and aahs from children and parents alike reverberating around the field, each one barely having time to finish before the next crackle and pop of colour rioted across the night.
The bonfire had fizzled out, the Guy (not burnt because Rosy had very firm views on the burning of humans, fake or otherwise) sitting in his chair observing the night’s festivities in his honour had collected a small fortune for the orphanage, and as Alex walked home with the others he felt all was right in his world.
He had realized that as they had stood watching the fireworks together (and they were dim compared to the heat with which Sylvie had delivered her opinion about her first meeting with Hector) he had slid his arm around her shoulder again.
That had been the second time that evening and he realized only afterwards that he had done it.
But it wasn’t meant as a sexual come-on – Sylvie had been quite clear about how she would respond to those – it was an instinctive thing.
Because as they all stood together and did these things – Halloween, Bonfire Night, school – they felt like family and he just didn’t seem able to stop doing it.
But his emotions were beginning to helter-skelter out of control as well.
In the moment he had realized that his arm had snaked around her shoulders, he had been embarrassed for a second or two.
He noted that she hadn’t jumped away, or even stood there stiff as a board and uncomfortable, but had nestled into his arms, the oohs and aahs over the fireworks pouring from her mouth, as both children stood in front of them.
And so he kept it there, resting on her shoulders, the warmth of her making him feel stronger somehow, as if he was contributing something positive to their world.
Alex had been worried about bringing Ellie tonight, concerned that the whizz, bangs and explosions might trigger memories from that day.
He had spoken to Natalie, the counsellor who had been with them through the whole adoption process, and it was she who encouraged him to take her, to let her fully participate in school life, just with a pair of ear defenders to reduce the noise to less alarming levels.
And as he looked at his daughter standing next to her best friend he was glad that he had listened.
Ellie was loving it even though it was Sam who was jumping up and down with the energy of a little fireball, whereas Ellie spent most of the evening standing stock-still and staring in awe, the excited squeals largely coming from Sam’s lips for a change.
At one point Sam had jumped up so high and squeaked so loud that Sylvie had turned her face up to his, and looked at Alex with that collaborative smile that he assumed parents shared in moments of pride.
He had felt himself grin back at her, knowing with no need for words how happy she was made by the leaps and bounds in confidence her boy had made over the course of this term.
Afterwards they were all walking back to his, as they seemed to most days, for a debrief after their evening, rather than the cold hard break of going straight home once the fireworks were over.
Hector had decided to stay on and help Marion organize the clear-up and then was heading back to Chase’s, so Alex didn’t have to worry too much about managing any discord between him and Sylvie this evening.
It was going to be a late night for the children but with the weekend beginning tomorrow it was so worth it; he was never quite ready to say goodnight to Sylvie and wanted some time with her that wasn’t punctuated by bangs and whizzes.
His initial plans, the plans where he laid out his heart, might have been changed by her outburst in the playground, but still he wanted every minute with her that he could have.
‘And then that green one went bam! And it all trickled down like rain and then the red one, they were awe-soooome.’
‘They were the best fireworks I’d ever seen. They were amazing. Were they the best you had ever seen, Ells?’
‘Definitely. Definitely the best ever, probably in the whole wide of the world.’ Ellie turned from the in-depth conversation she was having with Sam and grinned at her dad, hope in her eyes. ‘Can we go again next time, Dad? Can we?’
‘Yes, I think we should go every year.’
‘Every year, for ever?’
‘I think so.’ Alex noticed that as ecstatic as his daughter and Sam looked at that, Sylvie appeared to flinch, not in a body-jerk obvious way but in some kind of minuscule, almost intangible, manner that he felt rather than saw.
What could that have meant? He would ask her once the children were settled.
When they were in, the children decided they were going to have a midnight picnic. The fact that it was just past eight rather than twelve didn’t faze them at all, as they tried to sneak half the fruit bowl under their jumpers and up to Ellie’s room.
‘I’m sorry you were subjected to the worst of Hector.
He is a complete arse, but when you get past the outdated opinions and his compulsion to vocalize them loudly to anyone in the vicinity, he really is a decent guy.
Things are never black and white and I can assure you, Hector has all the shades of grey.
For all his apparent privilege he has not had the easiest life and really has the most generous heart.
He just doesn’t seem to have learnt when to shut up.
I’m not suggesting the two of you will ever be friends, but you should know he is not all evil.
I wouldn’t jump to his defence if he were, especially as I know his behaviour can at times be indefensible.
But he is a good man at his core. He’s loyal to the very end.
I really think he would die to protect Chase and myself if it were necessary.
Although obviously I’d rather he didn’t.
It was hard to hear the exact nature of what you were saying over the noise of the fireworks, though.
Do you want to tell me the worst elements again and I can see if I can make any sense of it? ’
The two of them sat at opposite ends of the sofa. Sylvie had grabbed his blanket, and snuggled underneath it, as if it was now hers. Which he supposed it was. He would never look at it and not think of her, he knew that, no matter where life took them.
‘No, not really.’ She scrunched her nose up at him.
God, she was so cute. ‘But he was pretty bloody rude. Really hating on women. I’m not going to be his best friend any time soon, but as he’s an old mate of yours I promise not to tear his head off with my bare hands should I ever see him again.
But only as a favour to you. Obviously.’
‘OK, deal. No tearing his head off, but I’d love to see you flip him over your shoulder – that might sort out his misogyny. I can only begin to imagine what he had to say, so I’m not going to defend him.’
‘Good, because he’s pretty indefensible. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about Hector tonight. I want to talk about you.’
Was this the bit where she admitted that she wanted more than friendship?
That when she had tiptoed to kiss his cheek earlier she had meant to aim for his mouth?
That she wanted what he wanted? Should he lean in and make this easier?
Alex heard her words from earlier replay in his head.
Only as a friend. Really not interested.
I’m happy with how things are. What on earth was wrong with him?
Of course, that was not what she was about to say.She couldn’t have made it clearer had she worn a placard.
Great friends. That was all she wanted, and he could do that.
He might not want to particularly but he could.
What he couldn’t do was change their dynamic, ignore her actual words and replace them with his own wishes and make any sort of move on her now, especially not in his house as they were relaxing with the kids upstairs.
He was just going to have to be grateful that he had found his best friend. And try not to look at her mouth.
‘I wanted to say…’ Sylvie continued talking, seemingly unaware of the inner turmoil of the man next to her, ‘…and I know it’s not my place, but I’m so proud of you.
Of all that you’re doing. Not just for Ellie but for all those other kids as well.
It was lovely to watch your daughter tell everyone about her story and how she ended up in Penmenna tonight.
I think you’ve done a grand job of helping her reconcile her two worlds, and having her see what you are doing for the children that have remained in South Sudan, children born into the same situation as she was.
You’re teaching her such great lessons, and I think she’s going to grow into a real force for good. ’
‘I hope so. I’ll be happy if she can just grow up as normally as anyone possibly could, given what she has been through. She doesn’t need to do anything, she can just be her.’
‘Of course she can, and she was so matter of fact about things tonight when she was talking to the other kids, but I worry about you. I get that you don’t want to talk about any of it, and I respect that.
Really, I do. But I need you to know that if you do need to talk, sob because it’s raw and it’s painful, I am always here.
Always.’ And she looked at him with such force behind her intent and such love shining out of those grey-green eyes that he felt himself take a deep breath, gulp, breathe out heavily and change the direction of the conversation.
‘No one likes someone who bangs on about themselves all the time, forcing their opinions down the throats of others… you found that out tonight.’
‘Whoa. You think you talking about what you’ve witnessed and been through is on a par with Hector and his unwavering belief that women are all evil liars with a high-dependency duvet habit?’
‘Is that what he said? Hahahaha! He has serious mother issues, tars all women with the same brush and then wonders why he can’t sustain a relationship.’
‘Well, he was trying very hard to sustain something with Marion amongst the PE bags.’
‘Really? Marion’s not his type at all. He likes young girls that are easily influenced by money and multiple houses and spend all their time plugged into their phones so he doesn’t have to talk to them. Marion? Are you sure?’
‘“You are a very capable woman. I like capable women.”’ Sylvie imitated Hector’s voice and Alex struggled not to fall off the sofa, he was laughing so much.
‘When you’ve stopped laughing can we discuss an action plan about how I can help with your fundraising?
Can I get any of my high-falutin’ ballet contacts to pad out your glittering media contacts in the quest to save the children? ’
‘OK, that might work. We’re doing pretty well.
Chase is willing to pop in money and promote us in the States – he has an address book that the Queen would envy.
And then Hector also has a pretty impressive old-boy network.
Matt says Green-Fingered and Gorgeous aren’t happy for him to promote the charity on the show but he will do so on social media and is up to be part of the first major fundraiser event – you know the sort of thing, a big gala dinner, celebs and chequebooks.
I’m toying with auctioning him off for a dinner date but will have to OK it with Rosy.
Chase reckons he can get Angelina on board.
Since her outburst on Graham Norton last week where she scratched Mary Berry she is in serious need of redefining her image again so is going to have to undertake quite a lot of charity work whilst looking properly repentant. ’
‘You want a woman known for attacking Mary Berry on your list?’
‘I want Chase, and Angelina’s not all bad, Ellie adores her. Before you she was Ellie’s primary female role model.’
‘That explains why you’re so keen on me.’
‘There’s slightly more to it than that!’
‘Sorry?’
‘Don’t know why I said that. Ignore me. But I figure the more people involved the greater reach we have, and yes, Angelina can be a veritable demon but she has over a million followers on Instagram and unfortunately the world we live in today, that sort of thing has some heft.’
‘So what can I do? When is this event?’
‘No dates yet, have only just started looking into setting up some kind of gala, but any glamour you can provide from the dance world is great. But even more valuable than that is you just being you, you’re kinda my rock. Everything seems a lot more doable when you’re around.’
She flashed her eyes up at him as he felt this truth drop from his lips so freely and he couldn’t quite determine what her reaction was.
It was the very epitome of inscrutable. He wished, not for the first time, that he could read minds.
Although usually that was in a warlord kind of situation and not a chance to work out what on earth his current crush was thinking.
‘Be there for you, that’s what you want.’
‘Yeah, I know it’s a big ask, but…’
‘Huge ask. Huge. How dare you suggest I spend my spare time with the person whose company I enjoy most in the world? Except Sam’s, of course.’
‘You enjoy my company more than anyone else’s in the world?’
‘Oh, hush, man. Why do you always pick up on the unimportant stuff?’
And as he looked at her and saw how true she was, he was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to do as she suggested and tell his side of the story.
Tell her about the day they were filming a group of rebel fighters in the jungle when they heard an attack on the nearest village.
How they ran to help, shocked not to be running into people fleeing as they did so.
How when they got there, the heat, the smell, was overwhelming.
How that smell woke him up in the night as often, if not more, than it woke his daughter.
How he and his cameraman dashed from burning house to burning house but there was nobody left to save.
Nobody until he heard a baby scream and ran and found a woman fallen to the floor on the edge of the village, her body slumped over unnaturally, and he realized the cries were coming from a baby underneath her.
As he opened his mouth to tell his best friend, the woman he loved, how he had found Elechi, the tears streamed hot and fast down his face.