Chapter 16 #3
After simmering for a good forty minutes, Dorian added the chocolate to the sauce. Annie scooped polenta onto each plate and Dorian placed a piece of chicken and generous amounts of sauce on each one.
“Mom, the table looks amazing,” Annie said. “A triangle of plates. Looks good.”
“It does, yes,” I said.
We sat, eating in silence for a few minutes, murmuring how good it was. Then we chatted about our days. I told them I’d sold another of Maren’s paintings that afternoon. Annie described a busload of elderly folks showing up at the store.
“They were sweet, but they made a mess of my tables,” Dorian said. “One of them remembered my mom, so that was nice.”
“They bought books too,” Annie said. “I got a couple to try Seraphina’s latest, which I felt very proud of.”
“You’re a considerate person on the inside,” I said. “Seraphina will be delighted.”
“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you,” Annie said. “Today at practice, Coach said we have an away game up in Cliffside Bay day after tomorrow. Their team invited us. So I have to get up there somehow. I’m sure Gillian and Alex would take me with them, since Bella’s going. I know you have to work, Mom.”
“I could take a day off,” I said. “I’d hate to miss that game. It will be a good one.” .
“We could all go,” Dorian said. “Maybe stay overnight? There’s a great lodge up there. We could get two rooms. My treat?”
“Um, I don’t know,” I said.
“Mom, can we? I’ve always wanted to stay at the resort up there.”
“Yes, I guess so,” I said.
“Really?” Annie jumped up to give me a hug, then Dorian. “I’m so excited. I can’t wait.”
We talked some more about logistics. Theo would have to take over the store for a few days.
“He’s been asking for more hours,” Dorian said, pulling his phone from his pocket. “Let me text him to make sure.” He typed, then waited. “Theo’s in. Now let me see about booking rooms.”
I got up to clear the table while he booked the rooms, feeling uncertain but also really happy. I had someone to share Annie’s games with me. Not that I didn’t have support from my friends, but to have a man there specifically to see Annie play and sit next to me, cheering? Heaven.
“Okay, done,” Dorian said. “Two rooms. We’ll need our swimsuits. The pool looks amazing.”
Annie clapped, bouncing on her toes. “Dorian, you’re the best.”
I offered to do the dishes, but Annie said she would and suggested we sit outside and enjoy the last of the light.
“This is a great night for me,” I said, laughing.
Dorian and I took the bottle of wine and our glasses out to the back patio. The sun had long since disappeared on the horizon, leaving behind streaks of pink and orange. His roses, having blushed under the sun all afternoon, filled the air with their sweet scent.
“Nate’s widow, Becca, came by the store today.” He turned his glass in his hands. “She’s getting married. In two weeks.”
“That’s soon,” I said.
“It is. She met him at Christmas.” He paused. “She asked me to give her away.”
“Oh, okay. What did you say?”
“I couldn’t say no.” He looked at the table. “It feels—I don’t know. Strange. Right and wrong at the same time.”
“Like so many things, both can be true.”
He nodded, but he was somewhere else for a moment. I didn’t push. After a moment or so, he said, “I wonder what Nate would think. Seeing his bride walk down the aisle on my arm toward another man? I can’t get my head around how this all works.”
“Everyone always tells me—‘Jon would want you to be happy.’”
“Do you believe that?” Dorian asked.
I closed my eyes for a moment, an image of Jon from when we were young floating before me. He was smiling. His eyes were clear. “Yes, I do believe he would want me to be happy. But it’s not that simple, and we both know that.”
“We do.” He reached over to take my hand. “I want you to be happy. And I want it to be me who makes you that way.”
“I’m hard to love. Prickly. Sarcastic. Too blunt.”
“Totally disagree on all counts. You’re easy to love. Funny as hell. Honest. Straightforward. Really smart. And you make me laugh.”
“You make me laugh.”
“I could make it my full-time job,” Dorian said. “Also, the way you put together the table tonight, like it was a work of art—pretty sexy, Delphine Delacroix.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been described as sexy.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re wrong about that.”
“We can put a pin in it,” I said, smiling back at him.
“And you have the best kid on the planet.”
“That we can agree on.”
He leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back, remembering how it felt to be fully alive in my body and long for someone again.
I’d shut that part of myself off, and I didn’t think it would ever return.
And I thought about his mother, choosing the perfect books for Annie and me, with no idea how entwined our lives would someday be with her son’s.
Or that her one kind gesture would inspire an entire garden and grant me hours and hours of peace when I so desperately needed them.
Now, finally, softening into the woman I wanted to be? The one I should be?
I waited for the familiar twinge of unease or distrust that would send me running. But nothing came, other than a desire to open myself to him.
And to welcome this new, softer version of myself into the world.