Chapter 12
GRIFFIN
She’s gone and I’m falling apart.
There’s a special kind of cruelty in having everything you want dangled so close and then ripped away. It’s been days since Jess walked out of my house with the box of letters I should have given her years ago. Days of silence, of staring at my phone and willing it to buzz with her name.
It doesn’t.
I’ve texted her twice. But the messages I get in response are professional. They’re kind, clinical, and impersonal. I fucking hate it. They are everything we used to be before the hurricane changed us back into us.
The last text she sent me says that Dr. Thompson will be covering my appointments for the next week. I can only assume she’s handing me off to someone else because she can’t stand to be in the same room as me. I don’t know how I’ve managed to mess this up twice, but here we are.
I pace my living room like a caged animal. My knee aches, but the pain barely registers. Physical pain is nothing compared to this. This is a hollow, gnawing emptiness that lives where my heart used to be.
I had her. For one perfect week, I had her back. Her laugh, her touch, and the way she said my name in the dark. It made me whole for the first time in years. And I destroyed it. Again.
My phone buzzes and I jump. Please let it be her.
It is. Dammit Landon.
Landon: Get your ass to my place. Now.
Me: Fuck off.
I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to sit here and marinate in my own misery until I dissolve into the couch cushions.
Landon: You leave your house or I’m coming in. You're not going to do this and forget everything you’ve been working toward.
I roll my eyes. This dude is so dramatic. Having him here will be a nightmare. At least if I go to his house I can leave when I want to.
Landon: You’re not leaving me with some practice team quarter back.
Landon: I’m coming over.
Me: Fine, I’m on my way.
Landon’s apartment is chaos, as usual. There is sports memorabilia everywhere, dishes in the sink, and a half-eaten pizza on the counter that looks at least two days old. All the money in the world couldn’t buy Landon good taste.
He opens the door. “Nice to finally see you. You look like shit.”
“Thanks.” I step inside and close the door behind me.
“Sit. Have a drink.” He shoves a beer into my hand and drops onto the couch across from me. “You went full ghost on me. One minute I thought you and the doc were making things official again and then you disappear. Are you going to tell me what the hell happened?”
“Yeah, I fucked it up. Again…” Once I start, the words spill out of me. I tell him. All of it. We start with the letters and end with the look on Jess’s face when she realized I’d kept the truth from her even while she was falling back in love with me.
“I was going to tell her,” I say. “I just wanted to wait until Victoria’s confession was official. Until I could give her the whole picture.”
“And instead she found out on her own.” Landon whistles low. “That’s rough, man. Victoria has always been a pain in the ass. She’s started drama with some of the other guys too, you know that. Told one of the wives that she’d slept with her husband. Then took it back three days later.”
“I know. Now I know. Back then it scared the shit out of me.”
“So what are you going to do about Jess? You can’t let her just walk away.”
“She needs space. She needs time to process. I’m trying to respect that. You know, listen to her. Give her what she’s asking for this time.” I can’t shake the knot that’s settled over my chest.
“Bullshit.” Landon leans forward, suddenly serious. “Five years ago, you gave her space. You gave her so much space you ended up on the other side of the country. How’d that work out?”
“Well I’m here with you and beer instead of in bed with her. So…” I raise my beer to him and polish it off.
“You could do a lot worse than drinking with me. But thanks for keeping your clothes on.” He laughs.
“I’ve got a plan. I’m going big at the charity gala.
She’s going to be there. So will the press and everyone in Charleston.
I’m going to tell our story. There won’t be a person in Charleston who doesn’t know how much I love that girl.
” My heart thuds against my ribs. “The NDA is almost done and I’m not afraid anymore.
If Marshall wants to come after me, I’ll tell the truth about Victoria too.
Either way, it will be on permanent record that I love Jess.
I’ll tell the whole world that she is publicly, irrevocably mine. ”
“Damn. You think she’d want that?”
“I think she deserves to know I’m not going to run again.” My throat runs dry. “She’s spent five years thinking she wasn’t worth fighting for. I’m going to show her she is.”
“Okay brother, I’ll be up there with you if that’s what you want to do.” Landon holds his beer up to mine.
I spend the rest of the night at Landon’s, working through the logistics. The gala organizers are surprisingly receptive when I call, apparently “hometown quarterback makes emotional speech” is exactly the kind of PR the charity wants.
By the time I get home, it’s nearly three a.m.
I can’t sleep.
Instead, I sit in the dark living room, staring at the ring I’ve kept in my sock drawer for five years. I bought it three weeks before everything fell apart. Cushion cut, because she told me once that’s what she liked. A single diamond, simple and elegant, just like her.
I was going to propose on our anniversary. I had the whole thing planned, dinner, a walk along the harbor, and the question I’d been practicing for months. Then Marshall Ashworth summoned me to his office, and everything I’d planned for our future went up in flames.
I’ve carried this ring through every city, every season, every lonely night when I thought I’d never get the chance to give it to her. It’s been my proof that what we had was real, even when the world tried to tell me otherwise.
The gala is just a few days away. I’m going to tell Jess, in front of everyone, with nothing left to hide, exactly how much she means to me.
If she still walks away after that, at least I’ll know I gave her everything.
No more secrets. No more noble sacrifice.
Just the raw, messy truth of how much I love her.