Chapter 35
FISHER
“Dad, I think you should lay off the eggnog.” I take his glass and set it aside. He doesn’t even notice me moving it as engrossed as he is in singing, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus at the top of his lungs.
Ebba picks up a red ornament, laughing at the distorted reflection of my dad in it as he reaches out for my mom and pulls her into his arms to dance with him.
“I love your parents,” Ebba says in a hushed tone just for my ears. “They’re so fun.”
“They’re … something,” I agree.
“I think it’s special that both our parents are still so in love all these years later.”
“I haven’t thought about that before.” I pass her a snowflake shaped ornament. “But you’re right. It is special.”
I watch my parents as they dance in front of the TV screen that displays a crackling fire. I want that to be Ebba and me one day with our kids watching. The feeling settles like a deep ache inside me.
“Can you help me?”
The sound of her voice brings my focus back to her and I find her holding an ancient ornament of popsicle sticks shaped like a tree that I probably made in preschool. I think my mom has kept every arts and crafts project from my childhood.
“I was going to put it up there, but I can’t reach.” She points to the spot she wants it. Holding out my hand for it, I wait for her to place it in my palm, but she doesn’t. “No.” She gives me a coy look. “Pick me up.”
Pick her up?
I don’t have to be told twice. Wrapping my hands around her waist, I lift her easily so she can reach her desired spot on the tree.
When I place her feet back on the floor, she turns around and beams up at me.
Her smile is fucking dazzling, and I find myself plotting for ways to make her smile at me like that again.
I’m certain with that smile alone aimed my way at least once a day I’ll certainly live to see a hundred.
I choose not to read into it too much. I want to give her space to figure out what she wants from me.
Ebba reaches for the plate of cookies and breaks one in half. “Want one?” She extends the other portion to me.
“Thanks.” I take it from her and bite into it. It’s still slightly warm. “Mm,” I hum. “Delicious.”
She smiles, clearly pleased. While her and my mom made cookies, my dad and I had gotten the tree set up in its corner in the living room. I have no idea what they talked about while baking but I sure heard a lot of giggles coming from the kitchen.
“Your mom gave me the recipe, so I’ll try to make them on my own sometime and you’ll have to give me the verdict.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
I know we still have several months left to be married so it’s not a stretch for her to talk about baking me something, but it still makes my heart ache with hope that we have more time together. That she’ll give me the forever I’ve always wanted.
I knew when I saw her that first time all those years ago that she was the one. Call it love at first sight if you want, but I don’t think it was love I felt. It was a bone deep contentment that this is my person. My soul seemed to wake up and recognize hers.
But that doesn’t mean she’ll choose me.
And that’s fucking terrifying.